"Date" repeated Snape, as if savoring the word, "how sweet... You have an interesting love of celebrities, Miss Granger."

Hermione blushed and looked down. But still she didn't say a word. Of course, I understand that sometimes it is better to keep quiet, but somehow she is strangely silent... Was she numb from the shock?

"And you, Potter, apparently decided" Snape continued to enjoy the moment "that the arrangement of your personal life is higher than some school rules? Such arrogance ... But why am I surprised? You are as arrogant and narcissistic as your daddy. This was to be expected..."

"What?" I was stunned. This was new.

"Thirty points. From everyone. And the punishment for both" Snape grinned" by your efforts, Potter, Gryffindor will soon have no points at all..." And thanks to Pat's efforts, Slytherin is also out of favor, I might say. Hermione only squeaked in anguish.

"And it might be worth escorting you personally to Gryffindor Tower. Whatever you go somewhere... do not turn on the road."

Fortunately, the portrait of the Fat Lady was just a stone's throw away. Although in this short segment, the Potions teacher got off to his full, knowing that he was in his right.

"And why are you so wet, Potter?" he grimaced with disgust. Why is your hair so greasy, Professor Snape? I would like to see his reaction to this question.

"I'm sweating," I muttered, "dating, you know, professor, is such a thing... Unexpected. I worry all the time" and, letting Hermione go ahead, he added, trying to put on the most angelic expression on his face "good night, professor."

There was no one in the living room. Someone had left a chess set on the table, pens and books were scattered here and there. On the chair, on the rights of the owner, Crookshanks collapsed, but at the sight of Hermione the faithful cat immediately ran up to the owner and began to rub against her legs. Hermione, with the most absent-minded look, pulled the seaweed out of her mouth and looked at me.

"Harry, can't you think of anything better?"

"Why did you stuff them into your mouth?" I went nuts.

"Because they need to be kept warm after being removed from the habitat, you yourself know!"

"But you had some kind of bank with something there?" I was still perplexed.

Hermione frowned, admitting her mistake.

"It crashed when you dived into the lake," and added under my uncomprehending gaze, "slipped out of my hands! I worried so much! The warming potion leaked out... And on the way, I warmed them up in my hands!"

I went to the fireplace and finally began to warm up.

"Wеll" I said, "this is not the worst thing that could happen to us today. What did Snape say about your love for celebrities?"

Hermione snorted and went into her bedroom. Ron is probably right about something - sometimes she does act a little arrogant.

The next day, in the evening, that Harry Potter was dating Hermione Granger, the whole school knew.

I even managed to hear out of my ears a conversation between two seventh-year students from Ravenclaw, and learn that Hermione, it turns out, met with me even before I arrived at Hogwarts. "That's why she didn't go on dates with anyone from school," one of them concluded. Wise men... Considering the rate at which unexpected details of any rumor are overgrown, I am afraid to imagine that they will talk about it in a couple of days. The supper turned into hard labor. No one spoke much, but the silence was truly front-line. Romilda Wayne, a fourth-grader, was eyeing me with might and main (she did this before, but today with increased intensity). Parvati and Lavender were whispering about something, and all the time they looked sideways at me and Hermione, who was sitting next to me. She had a feverish blush on her cheeks, and she was looking absently at her plate with a fork. Ron sat there, scowling angrily and casting displeased glances at me. Jealous, I thought (Hermione, of course, not me). Ginny, always so friendly, sat there with a stony expression, oblivious to all of Dean's attempts to cheer her up. Hermione occasionally cast pleading glances at her. But everything is also silent. Maybe she still stuffed seaweed into her mouth today? Most of them just stared at me casually. I broke down first. I got up and went to the bedroom. I was going to write a letter to Sirius anyway and ask what business Snape had with my father. Today, after the lesson on Defense (which was my favorite subject), I lingered and inquired about this topic from Rem, but he quickly remembered that McGonogall was urgently waiting for him and left. Although there is little hope for Sirius either. At least ask Snape himself.

"Dear Sirius," I began, "yesterday Snape accidentally noticed..." Yeah, quite by accident noticed that my father was a jerk and I am exactly the same... No. Somehow immediately in the forehead. I have to ask how are you, or what... They didn't give me a letter. My new "girlfriend" burst into the room (in which I was sitting all alone). At a cursory glance, Hermione looked like she was starting to get a little hysterical. And maybe not easy ...

"Harry, I can't do this anymore!" she screamed "I was already pulled by all and sundry! We must stop it somehow!"

Hermione paced around the room. I decided to stay calm.

"Do you know that we met before Hogwarts?" I asked cheerfully.

"What?" she did not understand.

"Well, nothing. Heard an interesting gossip."

"Harry!"

"What? Why are you so upset? They will speak and calm down ...

"No!" Hermione exclaimed "they won't calm down! How can you not understand that any news that is associated with your name rushes around the school for weeks! And I don't want, for at least the next month, everyone I meet pestered me with questions about what to be a Harry Potter girl!"

I will not lie that my male pride was not hurt.

"Are you so disgusted with the thought that I could be your boyfriend?" I was amazed.

"But this is not true!" with the air of Moses declaring the ten commandments, she exclaimed. Apparently the fact that they go about her the untrue gossip hurt her the most.

"Who would have thought Professor Snape was such a gossip," I muttered.

"What?"

"I say" I began, getting out of bed (I was sitting on it - this so that no one would have stupid thoughts) "that if you don't want silly gossip about us, then you shouldn't have broken in here until I'm alone here."

"But I should have talked to you," Hermione said reasonably.

"More like splashing out emotions," I chuckled.

I think I went a little too far. Hermione's hair seemed to sparkle.

"Actually," she began in a suspiciously high voice, "it's your fault! Couldn't think of anything better!"

"Yes?" I also began to wind up "better? Professor, did we go to the lake at night to get seaweed to make a potion and give it to Malfoy? Is that how you imagine it? You yourself would have said something "better"!"

Hermione gasped in indignation.

"And I would say! Yes, only this thing was in my mouth!!!"

"What?" came from the door.

We turned around synchronously. Ron stood in the doorway with a red face the color of Gryffindor. Apparently I heard only the last phrase and thought... I don't want to think about what he might think.

"I must have got in the way," Ron muttered.

"You see" Hermione concluded in high notes "now about me in general... God knows what they will say!"

"Sorry, Hermione, but there are things more serious than idle chatter" I strictly reminded of the case "better tell me tomorrow that you left me, because... because I am a narcissistic egoist, I think only of myself, I drag myself after all the skirts, I do not give up my seat at the window, I pull the blanket over to my side... And in general, I'm a complete asshole. Are you satisfied with this decision?"

She looked at me incredulously:

"Do you have any idea what they will say about you after that?"

I sighed and smiled indulgently:

"Hermione, since I was about five years old I really don't give a damn what they say about me."

"So you are dating or not?" Ron asked, still standing at the door.

"No," Hermione and I said at the same time.

Ron cheered up noticeably.

"Harry," Hermione frowned, "what will Professor Snape think when he finds out that we weren't having a date at all."

"Do you think he believed us for a second?" I grinned at such naivety "we still need to go to the library. Forgot?"

Hermione gave me a look that said she never forgets anything, and left the room. I looked at my attempts to write a letter, and, sighing, crumpled the parchment and threw it in the bin.

In the library, Pat met us with a dazed and suspicious look at the same time.

"Are you really dating?" He asked, looking incredulously from me to Hermione. She let out something similar to a growl, and I began to save the situation, dotting all the i's.

When I described in faces the scene in the room with Ron Weasley's participation, Pat began to laugh so indecently that we were all knocked out of the library and banned from coming there in the next week.

"I've heard a lot... Okay, okay, I can see from your faces that you are not eager to hear fresh gossip. Although there are very funny..."

"I have no doubt," Hermione muttered.

"But actually, I immediately realized that this is all chattering" said my friend happily "for you Hermione is too..."

She looked at him suspiciously.

"Too normal," Pat added hastily.

"Sorry" I did not understand "what are you hinting at?"

"Hinting? I'm not hinting at anything. I am speaking directly. You know, normal girls don't fall for you, buddy."

"What do you mean?" — I was completely stunned.

Pat waved his hand: "remember all your girls..."

"All? Did I have a lot of them?"

"Let's see" Pat began to bend his fingers briskly "Sue..."

"Why is she crazy? Sue is funny."

"Oh yeah!" my friend rolled his eyes "if my memory does not let me down "for the last year and a half, the color of her hair has changed almost every month, and I generally keep quiet about her friends. When I remember... his name is still so stupid... Whose face is like a pillow for needles... But let's not get distracted. Who was next? Yeah, Rosie Miller..."

"And what does she have to do with it?"

"Rosie was the freakiest girl in the Hamptons" Pat enlightened Hermione "every guy there punched in the face from her."

"I didn't punch..." I said.

"I'm telling you that she liked you. The whole camp knew about this."

That's the news!

"So, who else is..." Pat continued to take inventory of my personal life "Julie. She have been obsessed with Zen Buddhism..."

"We have not dated!" I was indignant "We kissed a couple of times, and that's it!"

He did not quit.

"You can also remember Bridget. This is my craziest cousin" explained Pat to Hermione "they are, actually, all "craziest", but she is the biggest. I know she was crazy about Potter" my friend continued to scoff.

"I had no idea that you had so many girlfriends," Hermione said, dumbfounded. Apparently, she wondered what the grain of truth was in what I said to myself.

"Appearance is always deceiving," my friend recited wisely.

"I never had that many girlfriends" I said irritably "Pat is exaggerating. And in general, I am alarmed by such an interest in my personal life."

"I'm not interested," snapped Pat, "I'm your best friend. I just know. So that…"

"So maybe let's get down to business?" I interrupted him grumpily "I was in vain diving into the lake yesterday? When will the potion be ready?"

Pat got serious and thought about something in his head.

"In three days. In Four, maximum."

"When will we use it?" Hermione asked quietly.

"I think this case should be done when you are serving your sentence," said my friend thoughtfully, "so that you have, as the detectives say, "one hundred percent alibi ".

"I don't see the logic," I snorted.

"Leave the logic for me" Pat smiled patronizingly *for yourself you can leave the exploits and dates with crazy girls."

"Go to hell!" I pushed him.