Remus was standing behind me, clearing his throat awkwardly. I turned over my shoulder, startled, to see him standing there with his arms hanging loosely at his side. I put my fork down and turned around properly, so I wasn't straining my neck. Bertram cleared his throat. He raised his eyebrows at Remus, his lips as thin as Professor McGonagall's when Potter and Black caused a disturbance.

"Morning," Flor said brightly, smiling widely.

"Good morning, Hemmings. Ready to go, Frankie?" Remus asked. He was shuffling nervously from one foot to the other, and adjusted the strap of his bag more than once.

"Huh?" I sputtered, unattractively. I felt my eyes go round in my face, taken aback by Remus's sudden appearance. My brain went blank and I suddenly couldn't fathom a reason he would be standing behind me.

Remus chuckled, exasperated. "To go to class? I figured I'd walk you."

"Oh!" I said quickly, pulling my bag off the bench next to me. Realization hit that Remus was supposed to be my boyfriend, and I probably shouldn't act like him coming to walk me to class was abnormal. "Right, of course. Bert, Flor…I'll see you there?"

Flor smiled. "Of course. We'll be along in a minute. Won't we, Bert?" Bert grunted in response, his face already back in his plate. Flor rolled her eyes at him, but shot me a reassuring smile.

I got up and pulled my bag onto my shoulder. Remus turned and led me toward the door, reaching down to grab my hand as we walked. I only flinched slightly as his hand made contact with mine, intertwining our fingers together clumsily. He reached out to push open the door, allowing me to step through first. The Entrance Hall was filled with students; some rushing down, late, hoping to grab something to eat before lessons started for the day, others, standing in small groups, chatting with their friends before heading upstairs. All of them, however, stopped what they were doing to turn and stare at our joined hands. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. "You ready for this?" I asked Remus quietly, out of the corner of my mouth.

Remus tightened his grip on my hand, his palms getting sweaty. "No," he admitted. But he took a confident step forward all the same, tugging me behind him. We walked confidently across the Entrance Hall, taking the marble steps at a quick, but not hurried, pace. The groups of students that we passed all immediately broke out into whispers, pulling their friends close and shooting pointed glares at our hands. It was, after all, unheard of for a Marauder to be seen with a girl – at least, during the daytime. Sirius was rather notorious for sneaking around with girls after dark, but that was another matter altogether.

This was certainly the first time Remus had ever been seen with a girl, and he was noticeably uncomfortable. He had his body pulled as far away from me as he could without letting our hands fall, his arm pulled taut and stiff. I scooted closer, letting my shoulder hit into his rib – he's so much taller than I am – and leaned up to whisper closer to his ear, "Remus, you need to relax. People are going to notice that you think I smell."

"I'm trying to relax, Frankie," Remus all but hissed. "But, in case you haven't noticed, everyone is staring at us."

"That's exactly why you need to calm down." I laughed, as though Remus had just said something funny, for the benefit of the group of third years who were huddled together, giggling at the sight of us. Remus smiled down at me, slightly strained, but passable. Merlin, and I thought I'd be the impossibly awkward one, but Remus made me seem positively touchy-feely.

We made it to our first lesson without further incident, sliding into seats next to each other, gratefully allowing our hands to fall. Remus looked relieved, I thought, to no longer be touching me. It was a fairly hurtful reaction, I thought, considering all we'd done is hold hands, but I had little time to think about it before the rest of the Marauders were plopping down into seats around us.

"I heard a funny little rumor, that you two are dating," James said, whispering at the end and looking around mockingly, as though worried that someone might overhear. He winked conspiratorially at the two of us, breaking into a wide grin. "Merlin, you should've heard the number of girls we caught giggling over the two of you. People are loving it! A Marauder – tamed at last!"

Remus groaned, slightly. "How long do you think everyone's going to be staring at us for?"

Again, I felt a little bit of annoyance at his tone. He really didn't want to be seen with me, did he? Before I could say anything, Sirius spoke. "Man up, Moony. Everyone will have moved on by next Tuesday."

"I don't know – could be a while before everyone gets over the Marauder's first girlfriend," James contemplated. "We really don't know how long people will be…"

"Doesn't matter," I interrupted James. "We're doing this, so might as well get used to it." I glared at the boys, daring them to say anything else. James held his hands up in defeat, Peter squeaked and looked down at his books. Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked, but turned around and pulled James into a conversation about practice later. Remus looked at me, and sighed.

"Sorry, Frankie. I'll…chill out. I promise. This is just all so…" Remus trailed off.

"Weird, I know," I said quietly. "It's weird for me too. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this. But if you keep acting like I'm as repulsive as a dungbeetle, I'm going to start getting offended."

Remus's face paled. "That's not what…fuck, Frankie. That's not what's going on. I promise."

I stared into Remus's eyes for a second, seeing nothing but honesty, and a twinge of regret, shining back at me. I nodded – I believed him that the issue wasn't me. Something else was going on, and he didn't have to tell me what it was. He was entitled to his own secrets – we all were.

Bertram and Florence walked in, interrupting my flow of thoughts. Flor dropped down into the seat next to me; Bert shot daggers at Sirius and James, sitting in the seats in front of me, and chose a seat on the other side of the classroom. I looked over at Flor, who rolled her eyes. She leaned closer to me, lowering her voice. "He didn't speak at all after you left. All he's done is grunt and glower since we left the Dining Hall. He's really taking this too far, Franks. He can't hate any guy who ever looks at you – you've moved on. He really needs to as well."

I nodded. "I'll talk to him." I tried to ignore the pit of dread in my stomach, but found it was impossible.

It was harder than I though to ignore that pit of dread. I avoided Bertram for the next couple of weeks; I found any excuse I could to run off any time we were together. More often than not, that meant I was roaming the castle, looking for Remus, having made the excuse that I needed to see him in order to avoid Bertram. I ended up spending more time with the Marauders than my own friends, and although they folded me into their group easily, it didn't relieve the guilt that I felt, knowing I had to speak to Bertram.

It was a Saturday morning and we were sitting out on the grounds. I was huddling close to Remus – partly because there was a group of girls sitting under the tree opposite ours, and partly because the October air was chilling me down to my bones. James and Sirius were antsy, their legs bouncing frantically; they kept turning their heads towards the gates, waiting to see if Mr. Filch had set himself up yet with his list of names.

"Merlin, it's got to be time, eh?" Sirius asked for the fifteenth time. His head was turning so much, it looked like he had an uncontrollable tick.

I glanced at my watch – it was nearly time. Just then, I saw Mr. Filch push open the heavy front doors, grumbling once he felt the cold air hit his face. He lumbered down the path towards the gates, mumbling under his breath the entire time. At once, Sirius and James were on their feet, rushing after Mr. Filch. Peter followed them, but Remus took his time removing his arm from my shoulders, standing up slowly. He leaned down, his hand stretched out to me, and pulled my to my feet carefully. He kept our hands entwined, his thumb running along the back of mine gently. In the couple of weeks that we'd spent together, pretending to date, Remus had grown more and more relaxed around me. The first couple of days had been awkward – he'd nearly passed out when I'd been pushed against his chest in a crowded hallway that first week. But he'd slowly but surely gotten used to me being around, and I to him. We were able to touch more casually now, more naturally. It was actually nice; it was something I hadn't had since Mason and I had broken up. I'd had such a hard time being around guys, that being able to test my limits with a guy that I don't actually have feelings for, without that added stress, was doing wonders for my comfort levels.

It seemed like Remus was doing the same thing. His touches had been hesitant at first, but over time he'd become more and more confident. His thumb was still rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "Are you cold? Your hands are freezing," Remus asked. He reached up and uncurled the scarf from around his neck, looping it around mine. "Better?"

"Much," I said with a smile. "Come on, they're going to leave us if we don't hurry." The two of us hurried after James, Sirius and Peter, who were first in line, waiting for Filch to let them through the gates. We caught up with them, my breaths coming out in puffs of hot air, out of breath from running after them. Remus was, annoyingly, as calm as ever.

"What's the rush, anyway?" I asked, rubbing my hands together to try to generate some warmth.

"Ugh, Prongs, why do we even keep her around?" Sirius scoffed. "She doesn't even know about the Zonko's Halloween Sale. We stock up on our entire supply this weekend every year – we get double the stuff for half the price. If we don't get there early, all of the good stuff will be gone!"

I chuckled, and grabbed Remus's hand. Hey, he was warm, and I was freaking freezing. "Excuse me for not being informed of the finer things in life before the four of you."

James nodded seriously at that. "As long as you acknowledge how much you have to learn, you can stick around."

"She's just going to slow us down in there," Sirius said, moving forward as Mr. Filch waved us through the gates, finally. "I think you two should go do something while we get in and out; we can meet up afterwards for a butterbeer." Sirius gestured to Remus and I.

Remus opened his mouth, but I spoke first. "I want to see it though. I've always been interested to see how the famous Marauders plan for their year of planking. I promise, I'll stay mostly out of the way."

"You don't have to…" Remus began, but Sirius held his hand up. "Fine. But if you get elbowed in the face because you get in our way, nobody is going to feel sorry for you. You were warned."

I shrugged, pressing my lips together in amusement. "Seems fair. Come on, Remus, it'll be fun!"

"He's not kidding about elbowing you in the face. Two years ago, I was reaching for a box of dungbombs, and he elbowed me in the ribs so hard that I was in pain for weeks. I think he might've broken something," Remus said under his breath. Sirius scoffed in response, having heard him anyways.

"You were standing in the way of the fanged frisbees I wanted, and Frederick Langdon was gunning for them. I couldn't let him get there first, there were only a couple left!" Sirius defended himself over his shoulder. He was forging ahead of the rest of them, James the only one keeping up. I shrugged at Remus, grinning, and picked up the pace, pulling Remus behind me.

I was not prepared for the scene I was going to face when we pushed open the doors to Zonko's. It was, in a word, chaos. Although we were the first of the Hogwarts students to arrive, it was clear that people had traveled to Hogsmeade specifically to shop this sale. Everywhere I turned, there were people running around, grabbing handfuls of merchandise, and filling the baskets they carried on their arms with frantic conviction. Sirius, James and Peter were off before I'd even been able to adjust to what I was seeing.

Remus pulled me closer to him, pulling me out of the way of a harassed looking Zonko's employee, who's arms were laden with packages of all shapes and sizes. My chest hit Remus's, and I blushed at the sudden contact. Remus looked down at me, his own cheeks looking a little flushed, and asked, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, but flinched slightly as someone bumped into my back in a rush to get past me. Remus steadied me with a hand on my lower back, pushing me gently into his chest so that a stream of customers could get past me. "I usually just find a corner and try to fight off the flying elbows," Remus admitted. "I don't know how James and Sirius always manage to leave with all of the good stuff."

"Let's try that," I said quickly, pulling us into the closest corner. We spent the next forty-five minutes in our corner, whispering to each other and giggling at the chaos that we were watching from a safe distance. My eyes followed Sirius as he rushed around the store, a look of absolute excitement and joy adorning his face. I smiled slightly, seeing him, possibly for the first time, with his guard completely down.

"I think they're done," Remus whispered into my ear, nudging my side gently and gesturing to the cash register, where James and Peter were paying for their spoils. Sirius was standing by the front door, waving to Remus and I.

With some difficulty, we pushed our way through the crowd to the front door. Sirius launched excitedly into all of the goods he was able to grab, and Remus indulged him patiently. James and Peter joined us a moment later, and we pushed open the front doors into the blistering cold. I shivered, pulling Remus's scarf closer; I smiled when Remus wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side.

"Shall we head over to the Three Broomsticks? Have a drink?" James asked, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them.

Everyone enthusiastically agreed, taking off at once. We rounded the corner to the Three Broomsticks. James's steps faltered; Lily was standing outside, alone, looking upset. We came to a stop in front of her, and she lifted her green eyes, which, to my horror, were full of tears.

"Everything okay, Lily?" Remus asked. His eyes were full of concern, which made my heart soar with affection. I chided myself – I had to remember that this was a fake relationship. I couldn't let myself get attached. Once we got James and Lily together, or we graduated, this relationship was over, and I had to remember that.

Lily smiled weakly through her tears, which were trailing paths down her freckled cheeks. "I'm fine, Remus."

"What happened?" James asked, taking a step forward, his arm outstretched, but thinking better of it and letting his arm drop down to his side.

"Oh, umm," Lily chuckled sadly. "I just had a small fight with Alice and Mary. It's nothing, really."

"They went inside without you?" Remus asked, his brow furrowed.

"No, they went back to the castle," Lily said.

"And they left you here alone?" Remus asked, disapprovingly. Lily nodded, a fresh round of tears bursting from her eyes, and a sob ripping from her chest.

"It was my fault," Lily admitted through her tears. "I was being obnoxious about studying. I may have insinuated that I was smarter than them…"

I rolled my eyes. I bet she did more than insinuate that. I shuffled impatiently on my toes, wishing we were inside already, and not outside playing counselor to Lily Evans.

"Come on, Lily," James said, comfortingly. He gestured towards the door to the Three Broomsticks. "Join us for a butterbeer, and we'll walk you back to the castle afterwards. Give Alice and Mary a bit to calm down; I'm sure everything will be fine if you just apologize."

Lily looked up at James, and I half expected her to hit him. She nodded, however, taking me by surprise. "Sure, uh….James. That sounds great."

She turned and pulled open the door. James reached out to hold it open for her, allowing her to walk in first. I exchanged a bemused look with Remus, who shrugged and lead me through the door with a hand on my back. Sirius and Peter followed us, quietly. I missed the way Sirius glared at Remus's hand on my back, completely oblivious to the expression on his face.

James and Remus left to get a round of drinks for everyone. I ended up sitting next to Sirius and across from Lily. Lily avoided my gaze, looking down at her lap. She picked up a napkin and dabbed at her eyes. She looked…sad and little. A far cry from the haughty, confident girl that I usually saw stomping around school. She looked remorseful, an expression I had never seen from her before. It made my dislike of her thaw a little bit – it was the first time I'd ever seen her look…human.

Nobody spoke. Nobody seemed to know what to say. Sirius was drumming his fingers on the table, and looking around awkwardly. Peter was staring at a menu, his eyes not moving at all. It was clear that neither of them knew what to do with a crying girl – further proof that they would've been no help trying to get James and Lily together. They were hopeless with women.

"Evans," I began. Her eyes, lined with red still, flicked to me. "It's going to be okay. Brown and MacDonald are your best friends. Bert, Flor and I argue all the time, and we're always okay."

"Really? Because as far as I can tell, you barely even talk to them anymore," Lily shot back with venom.

I flinched back, burned and hurt. That deep pit of dread deepened in my stomach; I hadn't realized that it was so obvious I'd been avoiding Bertram that other people had started to pick up on it.

"Oi!" Sirius cried, outraged. He was glaring at Lily, his nostrils flaring.

"Sorry, sorry," Lily said immediately. She dropped her head into her hands. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just upset and you're just trying to be nice."

"It's okay, Evans," I said, although the pit in my stomach hadn't lessened. I saw Remus and James making their way back to us, their arms laden with butterbeers. Remus slid in next to me, pushing a drink towards me. "Thanks."

James sat down next to Lily, and offered her a drink. She took is demurely, wrapping her small hands around the glass, and whispering her thanks.

After that, the Marauders carried on as normal, making conversation among themselves. Neither Lily nor I said much more, completely allowing the boys to carry the conversation. James did an excellent job of trying to include her, but without jumping all over her. I was proud of him and the way he was handling this. The Marauder's energy was infectious, and I felt my worries ease and the pit in my stomach lessen a bit as the conversation continued. By the time we'd finished our drinks, I'd even seen Lily manage a small smile in James's direction.

We made our way back to the Castle, hurrying as the sun setting caused a dip in temperature, and we all huddled against the cold. The warmth of the castle was welcome, and we all took a moment to warm up in the Entrance Hall before heading into the Great Hall for the Halloween Feast. I hesitated between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.

"Go,' Remus said, pushing me gently towards the Hufflepuff table. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I smiled at him, nodding. I separated from the group, who all headed to their own table, and scanned the sea of Hufflepuffs for Bert and Flor. I spotted them towards the middle of the table, and made my way towards them. I slid in across from them.

"Hi," I said brightly.

"Hi!" Flor said. "How was your day? We didn't see you in Hogsmeade at all."

Bertram snorted derisively, but didn't look up from his plate. I realized that it was the first time I'd sat this close to him in weeks.

I reached out to scoop some potatoes onto my plate, the Halloween Feast spread lavish and extravagant. "It was the Zonko's Halloween sale today, so we spent most of the day there. And then we had a drink with Evans in the Three Broomsticks – kind of weird really."

"You mean Evans actually sat in Potter's company for more than 30 seconds and didn't explode?" Flor asked sarcastically, taking a bite of pot roast, but smiling impishly at me.

"Yeah, and Remus…"

"It's great that you and the Gryffin-gang are getting along so well," Bert said bitterly, cutting me off from responding to Flor. "I'm glad you have them, since we're apparently no longer friends."

Flor's eyes widened, and she hissed, "Bertram!"

"What?" Bert demanded. "It's not like you haven't said the same thing."

I turned to Flor, my eyebrows raised. She was looking at me apologetically. "That's not true! Look, Frankie, we're really happy that you and Remus are together."

"Speak for yourself," Bertram interjected grumpily.

"Fine," Flor rolled her eyes. "I'm really happy for you. But you have kind of abandoned us since you two started dating."

"This is the first time we've seen her since they started dating," Bertram said bitterly.

"Look, I –"

"If you want to whore around, who are we to stop you?" Bertram snapped nastily, cutting me off. "It's none of our business if you just want to be Lupin's slut."

I snapped my mouth shut, immediately hurt. My face heated, and I felt angry tears welling behind my eyeballs. I slammed my hands onto the table, making the dishes in front of us clatter, and knocking over Flor's glass of pumpkin juice. I started to get up, leaning over so that I was crouched low to the table, looking Bertram right in the eye. I hissed, in a low voice, "You know what Bertram? Siri–, I mean they were right. All you do is try to control me, and I'm sick of it. The reason I've been avoiding you is because I felt guilty that I was dating someone that you didn't like, but you know what the real problem is? That you act like you're a hurt boyfriend when you have only ever been, and will only ever be, my friend. And to be honest, you've been a shitty friend at that, lately. I'm an adult, and I can, and will, make my own decisions. I don't need your opinions, or your permission, to do what I want to do. If you can't handle that, then perhaps we are better off parting ways after all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit with my friends at the Gryffindor table – at least they're kind to me. At least they listen to me, and don't make me feel like an idiot who can't make her own decisions. Grow up, Bertram, or leave me the fuck alone."

With that, I pushed away from the table and stalked over to the Gryffindor table, sliding in between Remus and Sirius. Remus turned to me, smiling slightly. "Everything okay?" He asked, frowning upon seeing my troubled face. I nodded, smiling weakly back at him. He turned back to his plate, satisfied, but Sirius continued to stare at me.

I turned to him, meeting his grey eyes. He didn't say anything, just stared at me. After a moment, I said, "You were right."

He nodded and smiled weakly. "I wish I hadn't been," He said sadly, before he too turned back to his plate.