Blue Eyes, Shining
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Kim Possible and all the characters of the show are owned by the Disney Company. All other characters can be blamed on the author (he, however, is not responsible for all of their actions at all times, being barely responsible for himself most of the time….). This is a strictly not-for-profit, just-for-fun work.
To everyone who is reading: Thank you. I never expected this story to take off as it has, and I did not expect the readership, either. To borrow a phrase from Joss: It's spankin'!
To my reviewers after chapter 4 publishing, some quick comments:
Zaratan: Betty wants you to know that she appreciates your compliments, but, and I quote, "not EVEN in your dreams, Big Z!" AtomicFire: Joss is getting perturbed that no one is paying attention to her. If I were you, I'd start reading those sections about her; remember, she has rope, and she's not afraid to use it. Whitem: We'll see the center in action far sooner than we'd like to. By the way, Joss says that she doesn't 'play' innocent, she is innocent (and Wade concurs: he knows what's good for him.)
Yankee Bard: some answers coming in this chapter, and hopefully answers won't generate too many more questions….The Incredible Werekitty: Wade wanted me to remind you of the Everlot affair and Malcolm, and said that he still has the wand. Hmmm….DunnKillikganFan: Betty called, and said that she's feeling needy, and something about making it worth your while (everyone running for the door). Hmmm…I don't ask, I won't tell.
Campy: These are most definitely some interesting folks….dartblade: Thanks for the compliments; detailed backgrounds, imho, are necessary for longer stories to allow you, the readers, to understand what's going on in that warped place that is my mind. MrDrP: (Wade) Hey, I'm 13 and s super genius, not 35, and my hormones are in serious flux, so cut me some slack! BTW, Ron mumbled something about Kim 'coming up to the ranch for some snackage;' I thought they had that in Florida.
And, to Jyuami: Glad you started up; hope you enjoy the ride!
Enjoy! Please read and review. As Kim would say (sorry, Joss): Please, and thank you!
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Chapter 5: Remember
(From the archives and logs of Dr. Wade Load.)
- - - - - - -
I'd been here just 16 days, and I've never been so tired in my life. I guess that all of the 20-hour days did that to me.
We have all of the networks installed, firewalls installed, servers installed, desktops (so to speak) installed, software installed, databases data loaded onto servers, and applications operational. In my spare time I had to build, configure, and test 25 PosComm handheld units (that's the name Joss came up with: she said she'd change it if someone came up with something better) with the upgraded GreenTap remote access capability. Slim had great interns working with him to 'shovel imaginary poop from behind Tornado:' these ladies and gentlemen were the cream of the crop, and not just on paper: they could configure wireless networks and databases and construct anything that I could dream up (and, remember, I have a pretty vivid imagination).
BAD WADE!
BAD WADE!
BAD WADE!
Well, they couldn't build that….
- - - - - - -
Joss and I only had one fight in that 16 days; that amazed me, because when she gets tired she gets as cranky as Kim, and when I get tired I'm no saint, either. Unfortunately, that fight almost cost me everything. It was on day 10 when my world almost ended; coincidentally, what almost ended my world also started a journey into a new world, a new frontier…
- - - - - - -
"Joss, where's your plan?"
"What plan, Wade?"
"Why are we doing all of this?"
"So I can help people, Wade."
"Well you can't do it like Kim did." 'That was the wrong thing to say, Wade,' I realized when she reached down inside and the Jocelyn beast emerged, full-voiced.
"I AM NOT DOING WHAT KIM DID, WADE! CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS? I AM NOT KIM!" I never knew that that much sound could come out of someone so petite.
"I'm sorry, Joss. I wasn't implying that you were; what I wanted to know was who you wanted to help and why so I could begin to configure the PosComms and work with the DBAs to load the data and balance the environments."
"You don't understand: I have to do this, Wade," she had dialed it back a notch and was a bit calmer, but the eyes still showed her anger. "I have to fight this fire."
"What fire, Joss? I understand that you want to help, but you've never told me who you want to help or why you want to do it, and I still don't fully understand what you what to do," by now my exhaustion was getting the best of me, and I had an edge to my voice. Wrong thing to have, that edge, because it triggered a reaction.
"Why do I have to tell you anything and everything, Wade? You're just going to tell Kim, aren't you, and then she'll have it all, and she'll do it all, and she'll have Ron, and she'll have you, and I'll be all alone again, just like I was when Mom died, and I was alone for a long time, and I HAVE TO DO THIS, THAT'S WHY!" and she turned and ran away from me.
"Joss? JOSS!" I shouted as I ran after her. I finally caught her and grabbed her by the shoulders.
"Joss?" I turned her and tears were streaming down her face.
"I'm sorry, Wade, it's not you, Wade, it's not you. Don't you understand?" and she broke free and ran back to the house. The 'ranch hands' that witnessed this 'conversation' said nothing, and just returned to work.
I stood there, trying not to collapse. I had just done the one thing I had sworn to myself and Betty that I'd never do: I had hurt Joss. I didn't know what I had done, but I somehow was responsible. I had to leave. Now. Before I hurt here again. I couldn't do that, again: hurt her. I turned and trudged back to my room to pack and call Betty for a trip back to Middleton.
What I felt now was a myriad of emotions: fear because of what I knew would be the consequences of my actions, anger and self-loathing at myself for what I had done, and shame because of what I'd done: I knew that Joss was tired and stressed, and I pressed her anyway. I wasn't sure which one made me feel worse.
- - - - - - -
I was halfway finished packing, still trying to figure out what I was going to tell Slim and Betty (I'd better update my will before I leave, I thought) when a knock came at my door, and it opened to reveal Slim.
'I don't want to go to a black hole, so kill me now, I deserve it' was what I thought.
"Wade, we need to talk," and Slim sat in the chair at the desk and motioned to me to sit.
"What do you know about Joss' mom, Wade?" he asked.
"Nothing other than what I have heard from Betty. I'd started to do some digging before I came, and I stopped."
"Why'd you stop?" Slim was smiling; he already knew why.
"I couldn't find anything more than her name and DOB/DOD; I couldn't find where she was born, where she went to school, anything."
"There's a reason for than, Wade," and Slim leaned back and put both of his feet up on the desk. "Get comfortable, son. I'll tell you a bit, and we'll see how it goes."
"No," he said, sitting up straight. "You deserve to know something about what's happening, and why."
"I just left mah little girl who'd been crying in my room on my bed. She had slammed thru the door, yelled 'THAT WADE!' and fell face-first on the bed, jus-a-bawlin' her eyes out.
"After 10 minutes of her bawlin' and givin' me creative ideas as to what Ah should do to you – Son, don't ever get on her bad side: you'd be tons safer facing Squirt or me or even Kim than SweetTea when she's mad – and I wuz getting' ready to call Squirt for a launch date, she sat up and asked me, "'Daddy, am I pretty?'"
"Huh?" was all I could get out. 'Brain to ears; Brain to ears; please repeat that last transmission.'
"She asked me again after I didn't respond: 'Daddy, do you think I'm pretty?'"
"'Well, D'OI!'" I responded, and she laughed.
"'Daddy, do you think I'm smart?'"
"'Order up: an extra-large helpin' of D'OI!'" I responded, and she laughed again.
"'Daddy, am I as pretty as Momma was?'"
"Ah swear, I had a horned toad the size of China in my throat when she asked me that. 'Why, yes, Sweet Tea, you are as pretty as your momma,' I finally got out, 'remember, though, I didn't know her until I met her after we both finished grad school,' I added."
"'Then why can't I get boys to like me the way that Kim does?'"
'Brain to ears: Brain to ears: we are losing reception. Please re-send.'
"'What do you mean, Sweet Tea?'"
"'Well, Ron loves Kim, and Wade loves Kim, and –'"
"NO!" I jumped up from the bed. "Slim, believe me when I tell you: I do not love Kim like that! Please don't tell James that! I'm too young to ride in probes!" I was scared out of my skin: for the second time in less than an hour, I knew real fear.
"Relax, Wade, I know that," Slim continued, "and so does Squirt: he's come to grips with the fact that Ron finally figured out that he loves Kim (that boy is in love, but sometimes he's slower than a rock chasing a rabbit), but he's not going to tell Annie or Ron or Kim: he's gonna enjoy messin' with their minds for a spell, and then he'll tell them how he really feels about Ron.
"Anyway, I asked her what she meant. Wade, she's 13, as are you, and she's been around adults almost all of her life, as have you, but she's never spent much time around people her own age or around people who aren't already old and married, unlike you and Ron and Kim and Felix and Monique, so she's not sure what to do."
"What to do?" I asked, hoping and fearing the answer.
"Wade, before you even came here, she had a 6-week crush on you after she had that 3-week crush on Ron. You didn't know that, did you?" Slim grinned. "And she doesn't know that I knew that she had it, either. Of course, your picture plastered all over her room was a dead giveaway, though."
Big wow.
"Wade, you've been around adults too long, and you laugh about Kim's blindness about Ron's feelings about her, but you're dumber than a dodo bird in heat when it comes to yourself:
"She doesn't know what to do when she wants to go a'courtin', Wade," and Slim had a Sylvester the Cat grin on his face, and I was Tweety bird. Big gulp: Slurpster, extra large.
"'Kin you not tell that the lassie's got a thing for ye, man?'" Bad Western/Scottish: not a good mix from Slim, especially since he was laughing while sacrificing the English language on the alter of bad jokes. I laughed in spite of myself and at myself and in a great deal of relief, mainly relief that Slim was laughing, but then panic set in: Joss had a thing for me? I had to sit back down.
"Wade, she's not Kim, and she knows it. What she doesn't know is that her IQ is 40 points higher than either Jim or Tim. She's one smart girl, Wade, and she doesn't even realize how smart she really is because she's always been around people older and with more degrees than she has, since she's just starting ninth grade. She's book smart, Wade, but she's not life smart.
"If that isn't bad enough, Wade, she wants to "Save the World," leaving the super villains to Kim and tackling the hurricanes and tornados and floods and earthquakes and forest fires and, unfortunately for me, the not-so-super villains: the cowards with the guns, and the angry people with the bombs and IEDs. She knows what she wants to do, Wade: She wants to be FEMA and Global Justice all in one by the age of 15 with no ties to anyone but herself. She knew that she couldn't do it alone; when you called and offered to help, she was ecstatic: she still doesn't realize how big what she wants to do right now is, and she needs help. I'd like for her to scale back a bit.
"Wade, I know you like my daughter a lot: no, Betty hasn't told me anything (even though I suspect that she knows more than she's tellin' me). You wouldn't be here if you didn't like her a little bit, and you wouldn't still be here if you didn't like her a lot, and you wouldn't be packin' if you didn't like her more than I thought you did and even more than you thought you did."
"Slim, how'd you get so smart?" I asked, honestly, and he laughed.
"I got married and listened to my wife, Wade.
"And, besides all of that, Sweet Tea is startin' to have nightmares, again, about her mother and what happened," Slim said, his voice cracking, "and I can't tell here everything without Betty here, and sJoss is goin' to need someone to lean on, and I wuz kinda hopin' it'd be you, Wade."
'Brain ceasing transmission acceptance; has encountered a stack overflow…,' and I felt woozy.
"Wade, are you all right?" Slim asked me, but I barely heard it. I shook my head several times to stop him from talking, but also to give myself some time to focus and collect everything I'd heard in the last 6 minutes, and see if I could digest all of this and Joss' comments about her mom…wait: she was with her when she died, and then she was all alone? Where were they? She wouldn't have been alone in a hospital, so where were they when Sheri died?
"Don't ask me about Sheri Nicole, Wade; I can't tell you, not yet. The good news is, you have all of the necessary GJ and Federal clearances. The bad news is, Betty's on her way here, and she's going to talk to both of you, but she wants to talk to you, first, before she has the big talk with Joss."
Visions of the insides of space probes and oxygen tanks suddenly flashed thru my mind: maybe they would give me enough oxygen…who was I kidding? After Will and Kim and Squirt finished with me, there'd be nothing left to send but a greasy spot.
"Slim, am I entitled to a last meal?"
- - - - - - -
I'd stayed in the room for over 3 hours, and I still hadn't heard from Joss or Slim. I had heard Betty's jet land about an hour ago, so I was expecting her. There was a knock at my door, and I invited the person to enter.
"Hello, Wade," and Betty walked into my room. In the past, this would have been my dream come true. Now, it was my worst nightmare. I sat quietly, waiting for Will Du-Duh to come for me or for her to handcuff me and take me to him.
"You did the right thing, Wade," she said as she sat where Slim had been, at the desk, and put her feet up on the desk. She sounded calmer than I expected.
"Wha -?"
"Talking to Slim, Wade, rather than running away. And, no, Will's not here, so don't get worried.
"We've both been dreading this day, Slim and I," she stated after a pause, so much softer than I'd ever heard her speak, "when she began to remember, what she would do, how we were going to tell her about Sheri.
"Wade, you don't have to do this. You can leave now, and neither Slim nor I will think any less of you. Just understand, though: once you've gotten into this, there's no turning back. This is light-years worse than anything that you and Kim and Ron have ever faced, and you may not want to be a part of any of this."
"Then, why is Joss being forced to deal with it?"
"Wade, none of us asked for this. Joss certainly didn't ask for it, and neither did Slim nor Sheri nor I; Slim certainly didn't asked for his wife to be kidnapped and tortured and killed."
"WHAT?" This was certainly not Frugal Lucre bargain-basement evil.
"Wade: you're playing in the majors now, if you choose to. You can walk away, now."
If Ron could do it for himself and Kim…and I remembered what Joss had said about Ron being a hero, doing what he was most afraid to do. Well, I was afraid of dying, so…I threw my suitcase back onto the bed, opened it, and dumped the contents onto the bed (like the drama? I liked it, but not 3 days later when I thought of how stupid it must have looked when I did it).
"I'm in, Betty. This is not Team Impossible attacking my network, but I'm in."
Betty sat there, silent, with no expression on her face.
"What?"
Still silence.
"WHAT?"
Silence, and then a smile.
"I just didn't realize how much…You really do love her, don't you, Wade?"
"She's going to have way too much on her mind to worry about my feelings, Betty. Please don't tell her."
"That horse is so far out of the barn, it's at Belmont," Betty smirked.
"Translation, bitte."
"Joss feels the same way about you, and she's worried about your feelings."
"Well…." and I felt like an idiot. No time, Wade.
"So, how and when are you and Slim going to do this?"
"After Joss and I come back from fishing this afternoon."
"Fishing?"
"Fishing. I've got to catch those trout for dinner. I also have to dodge Joss' questions about her mom's death until after dinner. That part's not going to be easy."
- - - - - - -
"Wade!"
"Ron! I heard you were coming up, bit I didn't expect you today."
"Yeah, well, it was come early or clean the garage and my room, so I snuck out and rode up. Wow, Wade, you're starting down the studly path, looking good." He glanced around, then whispered conspiratorially, "How's Joss?"
"She's doing ok."
"Fight, huh?" He grinned.
"What have you heard?" Now I was worried.
"Wade, whenever Kim and I had a fight and, after the fight, people would ask me how I was doing, I'd always answer 'She's doing ok.'"
"Oh."
"It's all right, Wade; Rome not in one day, and all that. Say, have your seen the other Mr. Dr. P? I'm looking for the kitchen; I told him I'd trade cooking for some riding lessons on Ol' Tornado."
"He's in the command bunker. Hey, Betty's here, and she and Joss are out fishing for trout, and Betty wants your special trout dish."
"Ah, the Pecan Trout ala Ronald: Oft imitated, none have succeeded."
"Is Kim coming?"
"Nope: she and the tweebs are in Florida with the Doctors P visiting Nana Possible: something about Nana saying that she was going to teach Kimberly Ann to make edible lemon squares or die trying," and Ron visibly shuddered. "I hope I don't have to attend a funeral in the next 3-4 weeks," and I laughed.
"'She can do anything,'" I added, "but boil water,"
"And she is still working on how to get back at you for putting that on her website, Wade," and Ron was grinning.
"Me? Not me, I would never do anything like that," and I tried to look innocent, but Ron's version of the PDP (puppy-dog pout) was so bad that I had to laugh.
"Command bunker? How's it coming along?"
"The bunker's coming along nicely; I think we'll be finished soon, about seven or eight more days of work."
"That's great. Can I get a tour?"
"Tomorrow, Ron. Right now, the painters are everywhere, the flooring guys are where the painters aren't and last of the shielded cabling for the wireless network is being pulled."
"Cabling for a wireless network?"
"It's a school thing, Ron. I'll explain it tomorrow."
"Kinda like my trout: often difficult for people to understand?"
"Hey, at least you don't put marshmallows on it."
- - - - - - -
I came to the small dining room off of the larger hall, and there was a table for 6 set up, candles and white linen tablecloth, and soft music playing in the background.
"Welcome to Chez Ronald," the voice came over the speakers. Bad French accent.
"Ron, it's me."
"Oh. Hi, Wade."
"I got a message that dinner was going to be in here, but there are only six place settings."
"That's what I was told to prepare: dinner for six."
"That's what I told him, Wade," and Slim came into the room with Betty on one arm and Joss on the other. "I believe you know your dinner partner," Slim stated, matter-of-factly, nodding towards Joss.
I stared at her: she was looking down at the floor and not looking at me. I could see a bit of her face: she looked sad, but she looked better than she did the last time I saw her, running away from me.
"Joss?"
She looked up. "Wade?" It was such a pitiful and hurt sound that I wanted to cry for her.
"Joss, I'm sorry. Can you ever in a million years forgive me?"
She said nothing, but she walked over to me, stood looking me in the eyes, and suddenly threw her arms around me and gave me a fierce hug.
My arms were hanging down, again: she seemed to know how to give me 'stealth hugs,' but I certainly wasn't complaining. I moved my arms up to her back to hold her closer, and she responded by squeezing me even closer. After several moments, she pulled back and looked at me squarely in the eyes.
"Don't you ever plan on sneakin' out of here, agin, you here me, Wade?" She said this only loud enough for me to hear, and I smiled at her tone.
"Yes, ma'am," I replied and gave her a big grin, and she broke into a smile that would outshine suns, and she hugged me again.
"I'm sorry, too, Wade," she whispered into my ear. "I should never have treated you like that. Do you forgive me?"
"Of course I do, 'Sweet Tea,'" I whispered back, and I was squeezed as she yelled:
"DADDY!"
In trouble, better Slim than me.
- - - - - - -
Dinner was delightful:
Ron's Pecan trout cooked in a concoction that is best not described (one, because you'd never believe that someone would ever have mixed those ingredients to create that masterpiece; and, two, because Ron threatened to tell Kim about the battlesuit (guess he figured out the fitting secret, too!));
a spinach salad with a vinaigrette that I didn't recognize topped with sliced boiled eggs and Ron-made croutons seasoned with garlic and oregano;
a baby vegetable combination (asparagus and corn) side dish lightly sautéed in butter (I think he waved the butter at the vegetables);
freshly-baked bread; and
a dessert that was best described as a cloud floating atop fresh peaches and strawberries.
Ron joined us as he served each course, mainly so he could be with his dinner partner: a female brunette 2nd year grad student/GJ trainee named Rebecca Jane Casey who had wored for Slim before starting her GJ training; she was totally infatuated with the "Team Possible" Ron and in love with "Chef" Ron after she'd tasted the croutons: she asked Ron repeatedly if he would join her for an evening soak in the hot tub. Ron, to his credit (he had caught on, after all of his time with Kim), politely declined: even her version of the puppy-dog pout didn't work on him.
Joss harassed him all evening long, occasionally reaching under the table and squeezing my hand and looking at me when she didn't think anyone would notice. Well, at least she was no longer planning my demise.
Ron was ever the gentleman: he kissed Joss' hand and thanked her for allowing him to serve her dinner (beet red deluxe!), and he kissed Betty's cheek and thanked her for the trout (I didn't think that anything would embarrass Betty, but I was wrong). He shook Slim's hand and thanked him for use of the facilities, promising to come back and take care of the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, over Slim's objection and offer to have it taken care of. He then came to me, shook my hand, leaned over, whispered "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" and grinned as he offered Rebecca his arm and escorted her out. Ron had been able to beg off of the hot tub experience by offering a moonlight walk: I wasn't going to tell Kim.
Slim stood, pulled Betty's chair back, and offered her his arm, which she took. I catch on quick, and did the same for Joss. She took my arm, and smiled. We followed Slim and Betty to a corner of the large dining room that had a group of couches set up next to an old-style stereo system with an LP player alongside a combined CD, DVD, and MP3 unit and huge Klepp speakers. Slim and Betty sat on one couch, holding hands; I offered Joss a seat, and sat next to her. She put her hand out, and I took it.
"Darlin," Slim started.
"Yes, dear," Betty responded sweetly, and Slim hit at her.
"Not you, Betty, Sweet Tea."
"DADDY! You told Wade!"
"Well, it's better than Kimmie-cub," was Slim's excuse, and Joss laughed, but turned to me.
"Don't ever call me that in front of anyone else, you got me?" There was fire in the eyes, and simultaneously calmness.
"Yes, my very own 'Sweet Tea,'" I replied sweetly, and she hit at me. She was feeling better.
"You wanted to talk to us, and you asked that Wade be here," Betty stated.
"Yes ma'am. I'm tired of these nightmares, and Daddy told me that you would tell me what happened to my momma."
I'd never seen Betty try to dodge anything so strongly, nor had I ever seen her look so sad. After a few moments, she spoke
"What do you remember?"
"Lots of different disconnected things, but I've been thinking about them and put them in the order that I remember them happening," Joss replied, and she became more agitated with her mention of each item.
"A large needle;
"momma tied to a chair; she couldn't move her hands or feet;
"bad men and women around me and her;
"me shaking her for a long time and her not moving;
"momma's blue eyes, unmoving, staring at me;
"gunfire everywhere;
"Betty: you scooping me off of the bare, bloody wooden floor, wiping blood off of my hands, and carrying me out;
"Fire coming from the building that we were in."
Joss calmly ticked these items off like she was checking off a grocery list. Each one of them was a knife in my heart: how could she have lived with all of this?
I looked at Slim and Betty: Slim recoiled at each phrase, and Betty just sat there, but tears were fighting her face to escape, and they were about to win.
Joss was quiet for a few moments after she finished the list. She looked at me, a single tear came down her cheek, she squeezed my hand even tighter, and then her dam exploded, and out came the flood of tears.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOMMA?" she screamed and squeezed my hand even harder.
- - - - - - -
A/N
To my readers:
We're starting to see some answers to the questions at the end of Chapter 3, but there are still some questions outstanding, and new ones are beginning to coalesce. I'll collect them and present an updated set at the end of Chapter 6.
Remember, Wade is 13 going on 35 going on 13, so his mind and his hormones resonate between puberty and adulthood/business and puberty and….
Please let me know if you feel that I'm heading for a rating change.
Stay tuned for chapter 6: 'Goodbye, we're parted'. Thanks for reading, and please review.