Doorway to Hope
Mac watched as the door started to close to Harm's apartment. She heard the elevator behind her and turned to walk towards it. She heard footsteps behind her and turned back to come face to face with Harm. He looked slightly angry with her, but she could see the sadness in his eyes and by the tilt of one corner of his mouth.
"Where are you going Mac?"
She sighed and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"I don't know."
She didn't want to make more excuses, didn't want to try and think of reasons why she shouldn't stay. She started to cross her arms, but he grabbed her hands and held them so a short bridge was formed between them.
"I want you to stay."
She looked quickly at the door. It was shut, but Mac couldn't help but picture Alicia waiting inside.
"But –"
"But nothing." He broke in. "I want you to stay and you have no good reason not to."
She looked him in the eye then, not sure if she wanted to disagree and start a fight, but not sure either that she wanted to complacently agree and be led.
"No. I don't. But I don't really want to sit down and have dinner when you and Alicia were obviously expecting to be alone."
She tried to keep any emotion from her voice, not sure if it would be envy, accusation or sadness that would come out. He gripped her hands tighter, squeezing them before lacing their fingers together.
"I was making dinner for a friend because we've been going over cases all day and we were both hungry."
He paused for a moment and let go of her right hand to place his hand on her shoulder.
"Mac, not that I should have to explain this to you, but I'm not interested in any other women right now. I haven't been in a long time."
His hand slid farther down her back, as she simply looked up at him.
There was so much swirling inside of her, so many feelings trying to find an outlet.
They stood silent for a moment in the dim light of the hallway, both afraid to move, but both desperately wanting to somewhere.
Then the door opened again and Alicia stepped out.
"My office just paged and they need me to come in to meet with a client. Thanks for all your help with the cases today Harm."
Mac started to move away from Harm as she spoke, but he slipped his arm around her shoulder and turned to face Alicia, keeping Mac's hand tightly clasped in his.
"No problem. Maybe we can do dinner some other time."
She looked at them as she hoisted her briefcase and coat. "Maybe. Let me know."
As they moved aside to let her get on the elevator she watched Mac tilt her head up to watch Harm's face. He looked down at her, smiling as though to reassure her.
Alicia had suspected that he was involved with someone, although he hadn't come right out and said it, and she could see now that he was more then involved. When Mac had made her excuses about dinner and Alicia had reentered the apartment alone, the smile had dropped from Harm's face immediately.
"Colonel Mackenzie said she had somewhere to be –" she started. Harm was already halfway to the door. "I bet she did." She heard him mutter. "Excuse us for a moment." He said before stepping out into the hall, almost shutting the door behind him.
She'd started to put her files away as Harm and Mac started talking, but after a few moments she made a decision and finished packing all of her things.
It sounded like Harm and Mac had some things to work out and she knew that she wouldn't want anyone else around for that conversation, if it was her in Mac's shoes. She took a deep breath and stepped out into the hall.
Harm and Mac walked into the apartment and he went to check on the food as Mac shut the door. She came over to the kitchen island and say on one of the stools.
Harm smiled at her as he arranged the meal onto plates. She knew it would stir the pot, but she had to ask.
"So what cases were you and Alicia working on?"
"She's doing research for a case against a news company that's harassing a family whose son was killed in the 911 attacks."
Mac studied the countertop, silent for a moment. She didn't really wanting to talk about what Harm and Alicia had been doing. Harm spoke again and caught her attention.
"I know it's rude to say, but when Alicia and I were making dinner I couldn't stop wishing that you were here. Preferably we would be alone, but if Alicia was here that would be fine. I just wanted to see you."
He moved closer, turning her on the stool so they were facing each other.
"I think it's time we had that talk."