Chapter 763

As Have I

Earlier:

John Henry was aware of what transpired in the quarry. He was going to question the methods but didn't. He knew their team almost suffered losses tonight. He knew Savannah was almost killed several times. He waited silently for the information Sheila 'extracted'. There was no laughing or taunting this time. He thought that was an improvement. He didn't know Sheila was upset that Savannah was almost terminated. This wasn't for 'fun', it was personal.

The other Terminators watched as Sheila 'extracted' the information from the Grays.

Cammy watched Sheila take over. She didn't seem as thrilled as normal. She wondered if 'normal' was ever the right word to use in context with Sheila.

"I know you enjoy this." Cammy said as she held a Gray down.

Sheila didn't want to get into the specifics, not right now anyway.

"I do." Sheila said. "It's in my programming."

Bob watched Sheila 'work' with as much contempt as there was fascination.

"I wouldn't do this." Bob said. "I would beat it out of them."

Cammy still held down the struggling Gray.

"I would too." Cammy said.

Sheila was a little irritated. This was more about Savannah than it was for her. She'd watched Bob and Cammy beat on the Grays earlier. She wasn't impressed with their results. She'd gotten more out of them in the first minute.

"You both tried." Sheila said. "They didn't talk. You only broke bones."

Bob and Cammy knew it was true. Brute force didn't produce any results tonight. It usually did.

Earlier when Sheila stepped up to 'take over', Cammy saw her pull out her knife and smile. She told Sheila that she wasn't allowed to do that on 'official' operations. Sheila told her Savannah sanctioned it because of what she'd went through earlier tonight. She found that hard to believe but didn't think Sheila would make that up either.

"I can't believe Savannah gave you permission to do this." Cammy said. "That's not her."

Cammy was worried Savannah was willing to cross the line to make things happen. It was her constant association with Cameron that was behind it. Everything to Cameron was about winning. It seemed to rub off on Savannah. Then again she needed to think how Savannah must have felt with the actions she'd needed to take on their behalf. They were all things Savannah needed to do for them at a great risk to herself.

Sheila watched Savannah strangle the female Gray with her hands yesterday. Sure Cameron 'made' her do it but she still did it. She thought Savannah would stop when the female Gray looked at her. She didn't. Cameron kept Savannah's hands on her throat until she died. She knew Cameron wanted to 'harden' Savannah for the future. The future was an ugly place and Cameron wanted to have Savannah ready for it.

"Savannah told me to do whatever I needed to do to get the information." Sheila said. "You can see how talkative they are."

Cammy looked over at the other Gray. He was almost terminated but not quite. Sheila wanted him left alive as long as possible to make the other Gray more talkative. He saw what awaited him if he wasn't forthcoming and truthful. She focused her attention back on the Gray she held down.

"The one that is talkative." Cammy said. "He whimpers a lot."

Sheila looked over at the other Gray that was near termination.

Bob wasn't amused. He wanted the Grays terminated.

He was glad that John and Savannah weren't here to witness this. It really made him wonder how Jesse could be this cruel or maybe it was just Sheila. Maybe her programming was defective. He would ask John Henry to look into it. He wanted this over. They'd obtained enough information to follow up on. They had a few solid leads.

"Finish up and let's go." Bob said.

Sheila looked a little insulted. She wasn't done yet. She felt there was extra justification tonight.

"These people tried to hurt John and Savannah." Sheila said. "They need to pay the price for that."

Cammy looked at the beaten Gray she held down. There were two compound fractures that she'd inflicted. Even with the other broken bones he wouldn't talk. Sheila told him what she was going to do. He hadn't shut up since. She was tired of listening to him whimper as he talked.

"We already have several locations." Cammy said. "Steve, Al and Tom have headed out to one already. We should get started on another one."

Sheila could see it was a problem now. She'd let Cammy quiet him down permanently. The scream echoed through the old granite quarry.

"Fine…." Sheila said. "Finish it."

Cammy snapped the Grays neck. She knew it was because of what almost happened to Savannah about five different times a few hours ago. Now she was glad Sheila dealt with the Grays. That's what they deserved for trying to hurt Savannah. Who did they think they were? Skynet wasn't a 'god'. It was pure evil.

"I didn't want to do anymore than what was necessary." Sheila said. "I only did what I needed to."

Sheila would have liked it if one of them would've been a female Gray. She didn't know where this compulsion came from. Maybe it was because she restrained herself with the female Gray that Savannah strangled.

Bob looked at the 'mess' that was left.

"We obtained the information we sought." Bob said. "Let's go."

Bob and his team loaded the Grays that Sheila 'extracted' information from into the vehicle that'd been shot up earlier. It contained the shredded bodies of two additional Grays. They used the other Gray vehicle to shove the shredded Gray vehicle against the side of the quarry. Both vehicles were there side by side now against the rock face. They planned to blow off the rock overhang above the two Gray vehicles and bury them under tons of rock.

"Bury this 'mess'." Bob said.

John Henry instructed a drone to fire a missile at an overhang in the rock of the quarry. The explosion and shower of rock buried the two vehicles. They were now under tons of rubble.

Bob, Cammy and Sheila, headed off to a target provided by the dead Grays, they were sure it was a solid target.

Earlier, Cammy scanned the Gray as Sheila 'worked' on him. He'd told the truth. He really didn't want to lose 'everything'.

She didn't know why she'd been so forceful in her beatings of them. Maybe it was because the one called her a 'Metal Bitch'. She thought that was a more apt description for Cameron but not her. She'd busted him up good after that comment.

John awoke. He saw something very beautiful when his eyes opened.

He looked into Savannah's eyes.

It reminded him of the time he'd been assaulted by the rouge Liquid Metal creature and slept in the same room with Allison and Vanna afterwards. He needed to be in the company of other humans that night. He needed to be around 'real' people.

He still didn't know what actually happened that night. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe the whole thing was a dream. He did remember how Vanna and Allison looked after him though. They both made it clear that 'anything' he wanted was available. Because he was so unnerved he just wanted their company.

He was happy with the company now. He did remember during those tough times and extended periods of Cameron's 'absences' there was always someone who could come around and lift him out of the 'doldrums'. There was always someone who reminded him what everything was really about. She was here right now.

Savannah smiled at him. She reached out and touched his face with her hand.

It felt very comforting and reassuring to John. It felt so 'right'.

John could see how beautiful Savannah truly was. He was also aware that Cameron moved out from in-between them somewhere on the journey home. He figured it was as soon as he fell asleep. He would bet she even moved Savannah and him closer together. He didn't think that was a bad thing.

He knew this is what Cameron thought she wanted for all of them. He was also aware that Savannah wanted it too as did he. Cameron pushed them all together so often. Everything seemed natural at this point.

John felt a little guilty at wanting her virginity. Sure he wanted to be her 'first' but she was so much more than that. He wondered how far they could go in a non sexual relationship. Wouldn't that be the true test of love? Could two people make things work without sex involved? Wasn't that why people got married in the first place? Isn't that what all relationships revolved around? Who was he fooling? He'd be all over her every night.

"Good morning, John." Savannah said.

John wondered what it would be like to wake up to this beautiful face every morning. Instead he woke up everyday all alone. He knew Cameron didn't sleep and needed to do things, like fight the war. It was usually alone too. Maybe he was lucky Cameron spent as much time with him as she did. It often seemed to be an inconvenience to her. He did understand she wanted the 'best' for him. He understood why she wanted Savannah in his bedroom and his life. She wanted Savannah to 'take over' for her.

"Good morning, Savannah." John said.

John felt a strong desire to kiss Savannah. It was clear she felt the same thing.

He looked around and saw Cameron was in the front of the van with Ally. The van wasn't moving. The engine was off. He wondered if there was a problem but no one seemed very concerned.

"Where are we?" John asked.

Ally looked a little less pleased than Cameron did.

"We're back at the base." Ally said. "We've been back for an hour."

John thought he should get up but didn't feel like it yet. He felt so comfortable right now. He was very content.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" John asked.

Cameron flashed her sly smile.

"You looked so content and peaceful holding each other." Cameron said. "I didn't want to disturb you two."

John was now aware Savannah and him actually held each other.

He immediately sat up.

Ally laughed.

"I only sat here for this long because I wanted to see something happen." Ally said. "It's not too late."

Sometimes Ally wondered if John knew what to do.

Cameron smiled.

"It's never too late." Cameron said.

Savannah reached out for John.

John looked at Cameron and she nodded.

He gave Savannah a long hug. The warmth and soft firmness of her body felt so 'right'. It was beautiful.

"I think we all need to attend to some 'personal matters'…." Savannah said. "I know I do."

Savannah was aware she was covered with dirt, grime and soot.

"I must look terrible." Savannah said.

John was aware of that too but somehow it made her even more attractive. Maybe it was because of what he saw her go through to look like that.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful." John said.

John saw some of the danger she was in. In fact she'd faced more danger more often than he'd ever faced. She'd faced more Terminators too. Only Cameron faced more Terminators than Savannah. That alone said a lot.

Cameron was aware of Savannah's prior obligations. It was clear that John was too 'afraid' to act now on any serious issues.

"Savannah has several matters she needs to take care of today." Cameron said.

John wondered what they were but thought it was probably better if he didn't know. Maybe they were personal. He knew Cameron always ran Savannah around. He thought some of it was to 'fix' things Cameron did that bothered others. He knew Cameron could be very stubborn at times. Savannah was the only one he knew who could 'defuse' her.

Savannah left to get cleaned up. Ally headed out to do the same.

John and Cameron were still in the van.

Cameron moved back and hugged John. She wanted to make herself clear. There were several layers on her mission from her future under Future John.

"That's your future, John." Cameron said. "Please make the future now. Until you do, my mission isn't complete."

John wanted Cameron to know that he hadn't made love to Savannah in the motel room. They'd been close to it again. Much like the first time, they'd been seconds away from completing their destiny. He was only a second or two away from that first glorious thrust. He strongly doubted he was Cameron's 'first' but he sure wanted to be Savannah's 'first'. Future Riley indicated she'd been 'around the block' in and out of 'foster care'. He later understood that to mean she'd went through what all females went through in the future, any future. It made him think about the future he 'created'. He wondered if those girls understood that everything that happened to all of them was because of what he did with his 'time jump'. Things weren't that bad in Cameron's future. Maybe they would all hate him.

"Cameron, I want you to know we didn't…." John said. "Savannah and me…."

Cameron wondered when John would 'come clean'.

"I'm aware of that." Cameron said. "It should have been several times over. John, it must happen. She will make a wonderful mate and produce beautiful children with you."

Cameron could testify first hand they would be beautiful children. She'd been there for the birth of two of them in two different futures.

John thought about what Cameron indicated. He did want that. He wanted the true beauty of Savannah. He wanted all of her, not just what she could offer in bed.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that." John said. "I used to think this was all your doing and manipulation. I know it's more than that."

Cameron didn't think it was fair to indicate that she'd been responsible for everything herself. She was the tool. Not the creator.

"It's YOU that's chosen Savannah in the future, John." Cameron said. "That was NEVER my doing. From the moment when we first rescued her, our lives have been forever linked."

There was a question that bugged John. Maybe he didn't want to know the answer even if he did. He decided to ask it.

"Do you love Savannah more than me?" John asked.

Cameron looked serious. Her eyes were big and wide now.

"Maybe…." Cameron said. "Savannah is the 'Chosen One'."

John wasn't sure what that really meant. Cameron was never specific all the times he'd asked her what it really meant.

"Chosen by me?" John asked.

Cameron was able to muster a faint smile. Somehow it made her look even more beautiful.

"She was chosen by you, Allison and me." Cameron said. "Go to her. Her door will be open…."

John wanted that but he wasn't sure. She might not turn him down but he didn't know if it was what she really wanted. Maybe her true calling was elsewhere. That's what all the evidence indicated. She seemed to follow in Vanna's footsteps and bed partners.

"Did she say that?" John asked.

Cameron heard what Savannah told Sheila before they'd left. She knew how troubled Savannah was inside to say that and mean it. Savannah needed to kill a lot of people recently. She needed to fight for her life. She even was willing to sacrifice her life for others. Maybe she should just keep it simple for John.

"No, but it will be." Cameron said. "She needs someone after what's happened these last few days. She wants comfort and reassurance. She almost died, John."

John was aware of that and wondered how he would have done under the same conditions. He didn't think he would have done as well. He was sure Cameron wanted to be with Savannah as much as he did if not more.

"Will you go?" John asked.

Cameron felt a glitch impulse.

"I will at some point." Cameron said.

John wondered what the hesitation was about. He knew that Savannah would be with Cameron in an instant. He could see how much Savannah loved Cameron since she was a small girl.

"What are you waiting for?" John asked.

Cameron was sure all the failures were of her doing. Savannah was always there and ready but she never 'took'. She waited for her to make the first move. It seemed very important to Savannah that she make the first move.

"I really don't know." Cameron said. "We've been so close to 'it' so many times."

Cameron did know. She was afraid when she was with Savannah that is all she would ever want from then on. It was pure sweet love. It was love about sharing, not about lust or conquest.

John understood that Savannah wanted something special. She wanted to be made to feel special.

"She wants to be 'chosen'…." John said as he collected his thoughts. "What about Cammy going forward? What happens to her? I know you're not going to 'share' with her."

Cameron often regretted creating Cammy. She was such a Bitch. She was glad she wasn't like her. She'd provided something for Cammy instead of deactivation.

"Cammy has been provided with an 'alternative'." Cameron said. "She's been provided with plenty of time to get acclimated."

John was aware that all the human girls were spoken for. Maybe it was another Terminator.

"Is it Ally?" John asked.

Cameron thought John should have paid attention to where everyone ended up at tonight. It wasn't an accident.

"It's Sheila." Cameron said.

John felt a little upset. This was all so like Cameron and the way she rolled.

"Is this another thing you've 'planned'?" John asked.

Cameron didn't see the need to tell John that Cammy and Sheila were recently doing things in the past for her, for eight years 'together'. They'd built more than one TDE each year in different locations. They actually needed to go back into some of the years they'd already visited to 'fix' some things. They also made sure Cameron and the others would have the proper ID, plenty of money, places to stay and weapons. It was all set up. She wanted to keep it simple but some things that always 'ate' away at her crept out anyway.

"Yes." Cameron said. "Nobody should ever feel lonely or unwanted. It kills you inside when you feel that way…. To be rejected and replaced is terrible. It's horrific, John."

John knew Cameron was referring to Riley - the dead one.

"Cameron, I'm sorry…." John said. "I've tried to fix it."

Cameron knew how John could 'fix' it. It was very straight forward.

"Give me the 'family' I want." Cameron said. "Give me the 'family' I need."

John wondered if he should listen for once or keep doing what he'd been doing for years. He really didn't believe what Cameron 'said' and what she really 'felt' were the same thing.

"We'll see." John said.

'I must complete my mission.' Cameron thought.

Cameron knew until John chose Savannah and Young Allison, her mission was incomplete. She hid her glitching hand from John. She really wondered what she needed to do to get him to act.

Savannah went to her room and stripped. It looked like her clothes were headed for the trash. They were covered with grime and soot and were ripped in many places. She looked at her filthy body in the mirror. There were new cuts, scrapes and more bruises. She was disguised by her appearance. She doubted anyone would want to touch her in that condition. They would probably think she had some kind of disease or something. She wondered what leprosy looked like. No, she didn't want to see that.

She entered the shower. The dirt and grim was washed from her hair and body. She watched the black streams of water run down the drain. She was a little sore from everything the last few days. None of it was the soreness that she'd hoped for…. She really thought it was going to happen in the motel room. She was sure it would at some point.

She left her room door open. Not just unlocked but open a few inches. It was an invitation. From the shower she heard her room door close. It was closed with enough force so she would know someone entered. She wasn't sure who it would be. She also didn't know what would happen. She'd been thinking of Young Jesse a lot, she always did when she was pregnant. Young Jesse impregnated her the first two times. Maybe it was Jesse. If it was, she was ready. Any Jesse was Jesse.

She caught a glimpse of movement. No, it didn't look like Jesse. She was ready for that 'adventure', it wouldn't be today.

Savannah wiped on the glass of the shower but all she could see was someone undressing in the darkness of her room outside the bathroom door.

The shadow moved toward the shower door. The steamy vapor filled the air. There was a soft knock on the shower door.

"Come in." Savannah said. "I've been waiting for you…."

The door opened.

"As have I…."

I'm Good Now

There was a time
When we were so in love
Then the heat turned up on you
And you gave me a shove

You pushed me away
Made me feel like trash
The love we shared
You killed in a flash

You still don't know
How you hurt me so bad
Then in front of my face
You found another comrade

How do you justify that
To kill someone's heart
Then turn right around
And with another one start

You won't see me
Or even TALK to me anyhow
Thanks a lot for NOTHING
I'm good now

Nobody