Cosima jogs, trying to make it to the store before close. She's left this run too long again, and may pay the price again if they refuse to service her so close to closing time. She swings the door open as soon as she's in and marches up right to the cash register where both the owner and his partner are waiting.

"Hey Felix." Cosima waves, trying to play off her breathlessness from running. "Colin."

"Hmm… Two minutes before closing." Felix comments. "Should we serve you anyway? What do you think Colin?"

"I think no." Colin responds from his place behind the desk. She watches the bespeckled man wiping down the counters and wonders if she's intruded on some weird gay, foreplay. Colin wasn't usually working the desk. In fact, he wasn't even here all that often.

"Guys. You run a lucrative business." Cosima pulls out her debit card. "And I am a very loyal customer. And your friend. And I am going to buy at least… five different varieties… and the new edible gummies… and that tea stuff because… man I have never slept better in my life!"

"I know." Felix grins, glancing around the dispensary. "There are three pot shops in a two block radius and we still make… what did you call it dear?"

"Serious bank." Colin responds. "And I have to go to my real job. At the morgue." Colin leans in to kiss Felix briefly on the mouth on his way out. They're cute. Cosima thinks. And clearly doing very well for themselves.

"Bye baby." Felix waves off his boyfriend. "Well… Cosima… what do you think? Are you too late to buy cannibis from your fellow queers?"

"Uhh no? Are you painting right now? Not yet." Cosima knows Felix well enough to know his habits. And that this entire business began as a side-hustle.

"And I have lots of time to paint. Which I was going to do now. Because my beloved Colin and I live above the shop." Felix grins happily. "And… you are again, the last customer of the day."

"But I am a well-paying, repeat customer." Cosima reminds them. Friends who had started a dispensary to offset their Toronto living costs., were good friends to have. Until you kept them open late half the time because you show up around close.

"That you are. It's good to see you, Cos. But seriously… either make an appointment, order online. Or be on time."

"You got somewhere to be?"

"Dinner and then a piano recital with my mum, and my long-lost sister and niece… Kind of an important family thing. Kind of don't want to miss it." Felix pulls out her usual varieties. "Are you smoking or vaping?"

"Uh.. vaping mostly now. But it depends on the day. Long lost? Sarah is living in Toronto now. Dude… she helps you run this store." Sarah doesn't smoke, as far as Cosima knows. But she's knowledgeable enough and sells the wares. When Felix is absent.

"She is… No, they were gone a month! Kira's dad Cal has a place in the Muskokas so they had Christmas together as a family. And mum and I were chopped liver…"

"I am sure it wasn't that bad." Cosima smiles. And Felix smiles back.

"So are you picking up Emi's usual order too?" Felix knows her too well. Too well. And now.. It's turning into a social call.

"Uhh we broke up." Cosima says simply. "We just… weren't that compatible."

"So… what ended things? You… seemed pretty content to hang in there. Previously." Felis knows too much. Cosima thinks.

"She asked me to move in. And you know I liked Emi… but…"

"So what did you tell her?" Felix lights a joint, and samples his own merchandise. "Do you want to try this variety?"

"I don't want that…with you." Cosima sighs. "Words that kill relationships right there. I think I'll stick with my usual actually." She watches Felix take a drag or two, and then flip the open sign to closed.

"I don't want anyone coming in behind you." Felix tells her simply. "So… Now?"

"Now? What?" Cosima throws back. "I… go back to being single Cosima again. I'm good at it." And she is. She looks young enough, gets plenty of attention. It's fun. It's easy. It's… habit.

"So have you shagged Delphine yet?" Felix looks lazily across the room, taking another drag on his joint.

"What? No!" Cosima's quick to shut it down. "Dude… I've been single again for four days."

"So? I know you've seen her… twice since?" Felix adds. "You've even brought Delphine in here! Multiple times! And she doesn't like using cannabis."

"Yes. So?"

"You eye fuck every time you're in the same room. My shop. Bobbi's bar. Campus… That drag show… doesn't matter where you are, you're looking at Delphine. Maybe that's why Emi ended things." Felix adds to himself.

"No we don't. Delphine's not even gay… she was dating, uhh what's-his-name uhh… a month or two after we met." Cosima feigns ignorance about Luke. It's better she doesn't remember. She isn't supposed to be paying that close attention.

"His name was Luke, and that lasted less than two months. I bet she dumped him." Felix yawns. "If you ask me, he just… wasn't up to parr. Get dumped that quickly and it's probably a performance issue."

"Or… his performance was…fine and he just… I don't know. Bored her to tears? He's doing a quarter life crisis MA in war history. I… I do not trust dudes doing MAs in war history." Cosima brushes it off. She doesn't want to picture that. The idea of Delphine being pleasured is… sexy. And that is a thought she doesn't want to be having.

Felix packs up her usual order. "I have a new product in."

"And it is?"

"Cannabis infused personal lubricant with THC. It's oil based though, so do not combine with latex. Six to eight pumps of this stuff and you'll be soaked and sensitive… according to my clients. Intercourse is less of a wow factor, supposedly according to my usual tester. I have another… tester who said it reduced her pain post-coitally. But I have been told during oral sex it's quite something. I keep selling kilos of it to pot-obsessed women. Interested?"

"For which party?" Cosima asks but Felix merely shrugs. Though as she's currently single she supposes it doesn't matter. "Do you ever test these things yourself?"

"When applicable, yes, but… apparently this one works better on women. Men just get a nice warming sensation." Felix shrugs. "Nothing special."

"OK." Cosima shrugs, waving her hands through the air.

"OK. I have to get out of here. Pay up, Cos."

And she does, paying quickly. She leaves feeling chided. And trying not to think of what a THC lubricant might do if she were to… use it on Delphine… Cosima forces that thought out of her head.

She manages work well enough, removes Emi and Cleo and the rest of the band from Facebook and tries to move on with her life.

She goes out, a couple times. To clubs she likes. Ones she knows have a good lesbian/bisexual/queer turnout. She goes to the Cherry Bomb event the third wekend of the months and she picks up.

Picks up a 24 year old queer as heck bartender slash grad-student at York university. The party was so loud they didn't get many chances to talk. And Cosima figures that maybe it's easier not to. Easier to just… have fun. Keep it simple and light and get over Emi. If there's anything left to get over. Cosima finds the sex to be… fun. Simple. But it's very clear the next morning that she and Kai are not compatible. And very different people.

"I don't really identify as a woman anymore." Kai tells her while putting their makeup back on the next morning and styling their short hair in an apartment far too close to Emi's that clearly meant Kai has at least one roommate.

"So… you're nonbinary." Cosima nods pleasantly. "OK." She's seen that enough now. It didn't have to matter. Kai had been hot in a kind of dyke-y androgynous very not-like-Delphine way. The way that was safest, or so Cosima had thought last night.

"I prefer to call myself… agender. I don't really believe in binary gender as a concept. I don't even think it should be assigned."

"Right. OK." Cosima nods pleasantly. She should probably get dressed. She seems far too close to getting some kind of queerer than thou lecture from someone under a quarter century old. And while it all might be true, she's pretty sure it is time to get home.

"But I only fuck femmes."

"So…" Cosima trails. "Nevermind." She doesn't need to dig in deep with her one night stand.

"So… just she/her pronouns. For you?" Kai asks her again.

"Yeah. Exactly what was on my sticker last night." Cosima reminds them. And she swears she sees Kai look a bit annoyed. Or disappointed. It doesn't matter.

"So… what do you do again?"

"Science stuff…Research. Teaching. Genetics and epigenetics. I am doing my post-doc for my PhD, all at U of T." Cosima feels like this is usually the first thing to come up with a date. Maybe, maybe she should go back to online dating. That would be easier. And maybe safer.

"How old are you? I… you can't be older than 28!" Kai shoots off desperately. And the lack of talking at all last night becomes quite obvious.

"Uh… I'm like…32." Cosima winces a little bit as she watches Kai take this in.

"Wow! I think you're like the oldest person I slept with… Definitely the oldest woman-identified person." Kai looks at her and Cosima feels like this is her chance to make her exit.

"Yeah. Well I had fun, Kai. See you around." Cosima gets up and gets going. Her dress is easy enough to put back on. A quick wave, and she's on her way out. And gets turned around three times trying to find her way back into the city proper. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe picking up a near stranger, even if they were kind of hot, was a terrible idea at her age. Maybe Kai was right. Maybe she is just too damn old.

A few days later, Cosima is trying to catch up on her office hours when Delphine sweeps into her office with a wide smile and closes the door behind her.

"Hey Delphine."

"Hey… So… you know how that paper of ours is being submitted?"

"Uhmmm. Yeah. I remember that." Cosima stops working and smiles up at her. "I was told. Now… it's out of our hands."

"We should celebrate, this is our first publication as Dr. Cormier and Dr. Niehaus." Delphine suggests.

"Yeah totally." Cosima agrees. She could use it. "You don't think it's… premature to celebrate?"

"Not if you think they'll publish it?" Delphine smiles again. And there's confidence in that, Cosima thinks. And maybe they could use a celebration.

"Oh. Definitely." Cosima nods.

"Wonderful." Delphine tells her. "So… Friday night. My place?"

"You're… cooking for me?" Cosima perks up. Delphine had cooked for her before. A handful of time. And it was usually a fun experience.

"Yes." Delphine agrees pleasantly.

"OK. That's… great." Cosima feels herself lightening. Good company. A home cooked meal. "Are we jumping back into the whirlpool?"

"Oh we can… bring a bathing suit." Delphine flashes her another wide smile. "So… I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Of course. Probably tomorrow and then… Friday. What time?"

"Come at 7 pm. I'll have dinner ready for us." Delphine smiles once more, a spring in her step as she exits Cosima's office. And Cosima cannot resist smiling after her.

It's easy enough to dress nicely, but casually, and get to Delphine's a couple hours after leaving work. She takes transit, the subway, all the way there and walks the last few blocks to Delphine's condo building.

She buzzes in using the intercom. She's giddy, Cosima thinks. She hasn't seen enough of Delphine this week. A quick hello here. One short walk on campus. It wasn't quite enough.

"Yes?"

"It's me." Cosima doesn't have to say anything else before the buzzer goes and she can make her way up to the condo. It's a nice building, Cosima thinks. Lots of seniors. Lots of young professionals. Interesting mix of people.

When she gets to Delphine's the door is left unlocked, so she opens it to find that the lights are dimmed.

"You're late." Delphine tells her, but she doesn't sound mad. Delphine emerges wearing a little black dress that hugs her slender curves perfectly.

"I know but I brought wine." Cosima offers the nice bottle of Californian red. One that reminds her of her youth. "I might have missed the dress code memo."

"You look beautiful." Delphine assures her briefly. "Want to guess what is for dinner?"

"It's not ratatouille." Cosima decides sniffing. She remembers that smell. And the vegan cassoulet, Delphine made that for her back in December. That was good too. But this is different. It smells really good. Almost meaty. Lots of vegetables. She can see sliced baguette on the table as well.

"It's a bourguignon. Mushroom bourguignon." Delphine tells her. "I… used an old recipe and a vegetarian one, and found…something sort of between the two."

"Portobellos?"

"Mmmhmm and cremini. And carrots, and other vegetables. It… turned out well I think." Delphine leads her over to the enamel dish sitting covered on the table. Two while plates with raised almost invisible patterns are on the table. Alongside two empty, for now, wine glasses.

There are two white candles in blue glass candlesticks on the table. And a tablecloth. And cloth napkins. And she wonders how long all this was shoved into a drawer or closet at Delphine's awaiting a dinner guest. Who even had dinner parties anymore? Maybe… Maybe they should be a thing again. Cosima wonders.

"Wow… Delphine. You didn't have to go all out like this."

"OH. I wanted to." Delphine answers quickly. "We deserve a fine meal. A good experience."

"We could have just… gotten takeout."

"But this way, I learn a new recipe that I can feed you. And I get the experience of watching you try it."

Cosima serves herself, and then Delphine. And helps herself to a large hunk of bread. She tastes the mushrooms, and the vegetables, and dips the breed in the remaining juices. Delphine gets her wine opener and aerator, and pours them each a half glass of wine. And it feels good, Cosima thinks. To just do this.

"Ohhh." Cosima moans low in her throat. "This is… really good."

"Do you still think we should have gotten takeout?" Delphine teases her. Taking her own bite, Delphine chews considering and seems to be pleased enough with it.

"No. This is great. Seriously." Cosima nods enthusiastically.

"So… where were you last weekend?"

"I went to a queer women, trans and nonbinary club event thing. It was fun."

"You were dancing." Delphine smiles, and Cosima thinks Delphine might be on to her.

"Yeah. I was…" She doesn't want to tell Delphine she picked up. Doesn't want to say it. So she lets the moment pass.

"Meet anyone…interesting?"

"Interesting? Yes. Compatible? No." Cosima scoffs at herself. "But I mean, it was fun. The dancing was the best part really."

"This is good." Delphine takes several more large bites of dinner. "I should make this again."

"Yes." Cosima agrees quickly. "I mean. I have been working mostly."

"How are things… after the break-up? Are you OK?"

"I mean… It's never fun. But… I think. Emi and I just weren't well-suited. We were…having fun, but ultimately wasting time. I think… I think it would have ended eventually. Emi was just ready to… rip off the bandaid before I was. You know?"

Delphine nods solemnly. "Yes. I understand."

"Why did you break up with Luke?" Cosima wants to ask. She recalls meeting him only briefly. But he'd definitely seemed into Delphine. If a bit boring.

"I…. I…. I didn't." Delphine tells her after a couple minutes of struggling.

"What do you mean you didn't?" Cosima cannot quite put it together.

"Luke broke up with me." Delphine tells her simply, she then stops clearly searching for words. "He… wanted… something more… serious. With someone who was more serious about him."

"Oh. Maybe not so different."

"I dated Luke for seven weeks. You dated Emi for… eight or nine months? It is a little different I think."

"Yeah. I guess." Cosima nods. It was longer term for her. Not just dating. Or wasn't supposed to be. She didn't feel serious about Emi though. And maybe at her age… that was a dealbreaker.

"So.. what now?"

"Now… I enjoy a meal with you. We'll… drink some wine."

And they do, Cosima finds. The conversation flows easily, and so does the wine. They polish off a half bottle, before Delphine corks it back up.

"I think… It is best we do not get too drunk."

"Especially before going downstairs to get in the hot tub… Imagine if we run back into Jim drunk. ' Enjoying the wine these days, are we girls? Let me tell you about the vineyards that Linda and I spent time in in our youths… now that was good wine' . "Cosima imitates the man and cracks herself up laughing.

"Yes… It is best we do not get too drunk." Delphine turns on some music, something low and mellow, wordless. And it's a good vibe. Cosima thinks. Even as she moves to the couch to finish her last mouthful of wine.

Delphine lights several more large pillar candles strewn across the room and begins looking around for something in the vicinity of her fridge.

"Are you… looking for something?" Cosima places her wine glass on the coffee table and leans back on the comfortable gray sofa.

"I got us chocolate covered strawberries. I thought about tiramisu but I remembered, you do not like coffee." Delphine produces a perfect white box. The strawberries are ripe, both dipped and drizzled and clearly picked up at some fancy chocolate shop. Some have nuts, others powdered sugar is dusted on top. And the presentation is really something.

"Wow!" Cosima immediately tries one. "Ohh…" She moans again, unable to help herself. Sensual pleasure seemed to be what Delphine was after in terms of food. And maybe it was just a very French thing. A very …Euro sensibility to enjoy food like this.

"Here. Try this one." Delphine picks up another, and holds it out to her lips. Cosima takes a bite and laughs and then moves back just a little.

"Oh the hazelnut one is good." Cosima tries a few more. And they are all delicious. Where did delphine get these? Wherever she'll have to try it out. It's worth a trip. Maybe they make other really good chocolates like truffles. Delphine likes truffles, Cosima recalls. Prefers them to other desserts. She should return the favour and like get her a box and leave it in her office.

Delphine eats one strawberry, clearly enjoying herself before leaning in close. "Cosima…" Her voice is low, pleading… and Cosima looks up from her chocolate indulgences.

"Yeah?" Cosima finds herself surprised to find Delphine leaning in, for a kiss. Their lips brush just a little, she responds for a minute, kissing back and then backs away. She'd known there was something there. Whether it was curiosity for Delphine or genuine attraction she can't tell. But this is a terrible idea.

"I mean… I just got out of a… nine month relationship." Cosima looks back helplessly. Realizing she may have accidentally promised Delphine a half-dozen orgasms was a lesbian sex thing. And that might have something to do with this… interest. It's been a long time for Delphine, Cosima reasons. And that is assuming she had sex with Luke. Cosima isn't quite sure if that happened or not, Delphine hadn't said anything about it. And they'd only briefly dated.

"So?" Delphine's voice is low, vulnerable. And Cosima wonders just how deep she's getting herself in this time.

"I don't want serious . I want to… have fun."

Delphine looks hurt now, looking at her from across the sofa. "And I'm not fun?"

"That's not what I meant." Cosima shakes her head.

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean… it would have to be a one time thing. We can't get into a friends with benefits type of arrangement. We can't. It'd… it'd destroy us Delphine. Everything good between us… gone." It's the only way, Cosima thinks. To save their friendship. She must make Delphine turn her down.

"What do you mean friends with benefits ?"

"Uhh a casual sexual relationship. And… even that is too much. We're… like besties. And we work together, Delphine. It would… it would have to be a one time thing. Or… not at all." Cosima looks back, wondering what Delphine's reaction will be. She knows Delphine will refuse. Delphine has to refuse. It has to be Delphine that puts on the brakes. Otherwise… this is going to go really really badly.

"I… I cannot do that." Delphine says finally after a brief silent struggle.

"OK." Cosima nods. "So… we're friends."

"Friends." Delphine repeats the word very quietly. Looking down at her feet.