Title: Love you, Love you not.
Summary: "Let me show u something beautiful." He whispers. Slash HP/TRLV
Warnings: SLASH (male/male) pairings if ya don't know what that means, swearing, violence in, Evil! Slytherin! Harry! Self harm, a lot of agast!
Pairings: HP/TRLV
Disclaimer: What are u looking at me for? I don't own it!
A/N: Ok, this maybe a little confusing… in Hp book number 2 instead of Ginny getting tom riddles dairy Harry gets it, and then Dumbledore saves Harry and destroys the dairy. Umm yea so please tell me what you think!
Chapter 7:
It was morning, and it was raining. Storming. That did not improve Harry's mood.
He dragged his broken, battered body out of the bed and walked over to the door, turning back to see Hermione.
She wasn't in bed.
And Harry's diary was gone.
Harry blanched and ran down the stairs of the house that was once Sirius' screaming, "Hermione!"
Hermione looked up at the sound and subconsciously slid the diary under the seat.
Harry came into view, looking tired and fearful, his emerald eyes widened. "Give it back," he panted, clutching at his side.
"Give what back?" Hermione asked calmly. Harry's face contorted in a rage not unlike Riddle's. The resemblance was frightening.
"You know what!" he yelled.
Remus Lupin walked in, an eyebrow raised. "What is going on?" he asked wearily.
Harry and Hermione jumped at the sound of his voice.
"Absolutely nothing," Hermione said, composed.
"Liar! Give it back!" yelled Harry again.
Hermione turned to look at him serenely. "I don't know what you're talking about," she remarked coolly.
"What is going on?" Remus repeated, now suspicious.
Hermione shrugged and began to read a book.
Harry ran down the rest of the way and said, in a controlled and shaking voice, "My diary. Where is it?" he demanded.
"What diary is this?" questioned Remus, looking at Hermione, whose face was scrawled upon with innocence.
"I think he's referring to the diary he's had for a few years," puzzled Hermione.
"Why would you want to take it?" he asked Hermione. Hermione looked up, her eyes wide and clear. "I wouldn't," she replied. "I suppose if I did, it'd be to see what it is he's been writing about. But I don't want to know any of it, he's too scary."
"Who?"
"Tom."
Remus did a double take. "Who?"
"Tom Riddle. Harry dreams about him all the time."
"Shut up!"
Hermione and Remus looked at Harry, startled. Ron and Ginny, obviously hearing the commotion, ran into the room. They stopped and stared.
"You stop talking about him!" Harry screamed. "And give it back!"
"I don't have it!" Hermione said back, her voice rising. It hurt her to deceive Harry, but deception was what he need most at that time.
"I know you do, who else would!" Harry screeched. "Give it here, you- you- you mudblood!"
"Harry!" Ginny yelled, her doe eyes large and unbelieving. Ron's jaw had dropped, and Remus, after the initial shock, strode forward and took Harry by the shoulders. "That's enough," he said briskly. Harry was surprised at his power and grace, like a wolf –oh, well, then not surprised.
It did not faze Harry.
He shoved Remus off and cried, his splashing tears onto his nightgown, "Get the hell away from me, all of you!"
He hurried away and up the stairs, and everyone stared after him.
Hermione didn't, though. Her eyes fell to the floor. I'll be the one to save you, Harry, she thought, the words echoing in her mind. One way or another, I'll set you free.
TMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJP
Dearest fucking diary,
He's screaming, every night in my head. He screams my name. Hermione thinks it's all nonsense, a lot of silly dreams. But they aren't dreams. They're there, in my head. Because memories don't die. They have to be forgotten. And he's still there. I just can't forget him. I wouldn't want to.
Dearest fucking diary,
Ron's worried about me. He stops me every so often and I look into my best friend's tired eyes and he bites his lip and asks, "Are you okay, Har?"
I nod. What else would I do?
He frowns and presses on. "Are you sure you're okay, Harry?"
It always seems to irritates me, although I can't imagine why...why he can't leave me alone!
I was talking to Ginny about it, and how Ron is overprotective, Mrs Weasley worries to the point of tears, Bill and Charlie both visit and spend that much time lecturing and nagging me, and Ginny nodded and said "We're all worried about you. You know that, don't you? That we love you?"
And she smiled. Ginny smiling for the purpose of smiling is a beautiful thing to behold, like spring after and icy winter that you thought would never end. It lifts your spirit, and suddenly you can breathe in the oxygen again. She really should smile more often. that's a feeling I'd like to have more of. I'd really like it if she smiled more often.
Dearest fucking diary,
Tom knows. He's worried I'll forget him for Ginny. Well, 'worried' isn't the best term. He was mad at me, so mad his voice was shaking, and he lifted his wand and whispered, "Crucio." It hurts...but it hurts even worse when he does it, because I love him.
Oh, I love him...his porcelain face, his sea blue eyes, his cherry lips, his elegant eyebrows, his raven hair, the soft skin on his neck, his flawless, strong hands, the feel of his heartbeat when he's taken his shirt off...I love it when he touches me..even when he's hitting me.
Which he's been doing often lately.
Dearest fucking diary,
I can't believe I never got it before...that Sirius is dead. He's really gone. I never understood through and through until just now the reason behind Remus's lacking gait, and his cold, unresponsive manner. He's a rosebud surviving the spring frost whose sun has just left. Sirius is dead. Good Gods.
Dearest fucking diary,
Well, cussing at you doesn't do me any good. I'm not really angry, I'm ecstatic.
I really do love it when Tom touches me...I love his hands. So strong. So experienced. Curious. Fearless. Relentless.
When I first found the diary, he never touched me like that. I was young and too innocent, much too innocent. He never—kissed me with such ardor. I could feel him, his passion, his fury, everything that makes him, well, Tom.
But then, fucking diary, he told me how he kissed Hermione and I was lucky he didn't kiss me like that. He said he brought her pain and yet she still cared. She still worried.
He makes it sound as though she worried for me. I know that she's really worried for him. How dare she! He's mine. I'm his. If he wanted her, he wouldn't have had me set the basilisk on her.
If she bloody comes near him again, I'll rip her throat out.
TMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJP
Hermione took a deep breath, in turmoil. She wanted to drop that diary but she knew she had to continue. Holding back tears and fighting a scream, she looked to the pages once more- but she was cut off.
"You said you didn't have it."
She spun around and halted. How had Lupin managed to come into the room, stand so close to her...? She could have kissed him if she'd wanted to.
She considered it...wait! What was she thinking?
Remus sighed and sat beside her. Her heart beat faster as the loveseat moved with his added weight. His added weight...
Hermione's eyes darted nervously in their sockets. Her head lifted slightly and her gaze lightly grazed his before falling quickly to the small book in her hands.
"Why did you lie earlier?"
Hermione was still and silent as a stone statue in the depths of winter.
He sighed and moved closer to her, taking her shoulders in his hands. Hermione's thoughts brought forth a phrase of Harry's...
I love his hands. So strong. So experienced. Curious. Fearless. Relentless.
In his gentle way he forced her eyes to meet his.
"Hermione," he began, in his deep voice. It echoed through her chest and her heart throbbed.
Why? she wondered. Is it because...? He shouldn't be doing this to me!
"Y-yes?" she asked, her voice below a whisper.
"I know you're worried," he said quietly. "We all are. But in trying to save Harry from the flood, I fear the current will sweep you in."
She wanted to collapse against his chest and sob, clutching at his shirt in desperation. But she didn't dear tempt herself.
"He sometimes screams," Hermione choked on her tears.
"Sirius used to sometimes cry in his sleep," Remus said softly. Hermione's vision blurred; she threw herself into his arms howling and he comforted her as best he could.
Looking up into his eyes, she realised that there was no denying that she couldn't save Harry.
With a jolt she realised there was no denying her feelings for Re-Lupin, either.
Well, even if it was futile, she'd help Harry. She'd have to help.
Even if it was inevitable, she'd keep herself from falling in love with Lupin. She mentally kept herself from nipping at his neck.
Well, in either case, she'd try.
TMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJPTMRHJP
I gave you my heart
Tom, I loved you
But you didn't want that, did you?
You only wanted power; it's all you ever wanted.
You threw it back into my face
All I ever wanted was to love you.
And it shattered.
It's your entire fault I'm ruined.
Shards, little pieces- starry
Like the sky at midnight in the cold, cold winter...
Diamond dust filled with moonlight, refracting, reflecting-
Light bends as you bend truth.
From the clumsy stitches holding my head onto my elegant neck I pick a loose thread and pull it out.
Don't fear, I lost my head ages ago.
Look the needle in the eye and slip it through tenderly.
The tenderness you should have showed me- you said you loved me!
I attempt to sew my pieces back together
My fingers fail; they aren't yours.
Patch it, polish it-
Make it shine as bright as my glimmering, shimmering tears.
But the silver tip pierces my finger's flesh
That's your doing, isn't it?
A single crimson drop of blood,
You like blood far too much to be sane, Tom.
My blood, purest blood, pure as my intentions and now tainted
You always liked my pure blood. Is it pure as it is or is it all in your head?
Poisoned by the venom of betrayal-
I didn't betray the basilisk; you should know that by now.
Your treachery
But you betrayed me, didn't you?
Soaks the lace handkerchief scarlet.
I was pure white, not pure crimson, not my blood, but my soul, and you stained it. My imbrued hands curse your carelessness.
You're my needle, my bane, you dwell within my veins.
And within my head and my dreams and my diary and my pen...
Like the gathering of honey on a serpents' fang,
Like your cotton candy cottonmouth tongue, you spew lies like a sick child and sick you are, Tom...you're so sick...my Lucifer, fallen angel cast to hell, my Lord of the Flies, Lord Flight-from-Death...
My secrets swell, then spill.
You promised, swore to God alone with him and I as witness, one
God damn you. You're damned, the King of the Damned. I'm Prince of the Damned, it never ends...
On a hill in a lightning storm the thunder beckoning
Don't tempt God-- you tempt me enough already.
That you wouldn't, but you have.
How could you do it, love?
And I see now my heart was not the only thing for you to break.
Promises, my spirit, my soul, my mirror- take your pick. I don't much care anymore.
I trusted you and now I am not sure-
I hate you. I love you. I curse you and I need you. Damn you and damn me with you. This isn't Hell; this is Purgatory. Light the white candles, Hermione; pray for our souls.
A true love does not make one stare into a black mirror of one's own demise
I've died...Hermione hangs black silk over the mirrors for Sirius, she shall do it for me. A black mirror. a white mirror. All mirrors show me your face. Do they show you mine?
And in still doubt.
Maybe we should think about this first--
Disperse and leave me in peace; for you have failed.
And I have failed with you. Wait for me! Wherever you go, I must follow, for I am bound to you. Us together. Inseparable. Oroboros. Jormung and, eating his tail, the serpent. Loki's son. Loki is you, Tom...he caused the destruction of all Middle Earth. Dakaath, his loyal husband...that is me. I love you, Tom. Don't you ever leave me, damn it. Don't you ever leave!
A/N: ok here it is finally lmao I was being poked to death by my lovely reader Anna Tramell /eyes are wide/ she even threatened to poke me with a banana can u believe that! Haha all fun Anna /smiles and bolts for the door/ BYE and don't forget to……………..
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