Hi, thank you so much for the reviews and the messages, you've no idea of how much joy you're giving me with your beautiful words ^^, thanks!
Now, this is a mini emison story, this 1st mini story is entitled "Into the dream", it will be published in 3 or 4 parts. So, this popped into my mind, after hearing the song 'Belong' by Cary Brothers and thinking, in my mind, about one xmas movie of Téa Leoni, nice movie by the way, so with the combination of the song and thinking on that movie, this story came to life! ^^ so I hope you like it… here the 1st part of this mini story… any comment is appreciated it, thanks…
Note:
Everything between double quotes " "; it's dialogue
A little of context: after graduating, like in the tv series, Alison stood in Rosewood as the girls left for college, but here, after leaving in separate ways, they never looked back to Rosewood, they just left and even started losing contact with each other, especially with Alison… they wanted to leave everything behind, not looking back…
There will be some jumps time in this mini story ok…
Into the dream – Part I
(Rosewood, 2005)
The girls were putting their bags on their cars…
Hanna smirked. – "Wow, Are you putting enough flip-flops on, Em…?!"
Emily smirked. – "It's Malibu Hann…"
The brunette closed her trunk and smiled, caressing her sticker of her next destination on the back of her car: "Pepperdine University". The girls were getting ready to leave their town and get into the road for college, all the gang chose Alison's house as point of depart, the blonde, the ex-Queen Bee decided to stay in the town, the Queen was staying in her kingdom, close to Charlotte and preparing herself to let go her friends that were more like family for her; all the girls laughed when Aria warned Spencer to don't come back from Georgia, talking like a politician, Emily chuckled more as she was beside of Alison and hearing the laugh of the blonde, it just made her more happy than what she could ever admit to herself.
Aria sighed. – "You guys… I can't believe that we're actually leaving…"
Hanna sighed. – "Yeah… who would think that saying good bye, it will be so damn hard…"
Spencer. – "How lucky we're to have something that makes saying good bye so hard…"
Emily. – "And who brilliant mind did it say that?"
Spencer chuckled. – "Winnie the Pooh…"
(Chuckles from all the girls)
All the girls were hugging and Alison was specially clinging on Emily, grabbing and squeezing Emily's hand, the blonde didn't want to admit it, but letting go her precious sweet Emily, it was the most terrifying thing in the entire world; it was killing her inside, crushing her heart in tiny pieces but no one could notice it as like always, Alison was an expert to hide her emotions, her true feelings under an empty smile…
Emily looked at the blonde who was grabbing her hand, noticing the fear on Alison's eyes and said. – "Ali… you're gonna be ok…"
Alison didn't reply, she just gave her a nod, speechless, because she knew that if she talked at that moment, then everybody would notice how heartbroken she was; the girls said their goodbyes to each other and hugged; when Alison and Emily were face to face, the blonde froze, she didn't want to say goodbye, she didn't want her to leave but then again she kept it to herself, because, let's be honest, after all the pain that she has brought to them, especially to Emily, how could she ask her to stay with her? How could she ever once again be selfish and keep Emily orbiting around her? She couldn't do that, she couldn't be an obstacle for the bright future of Emily; her precious mermaid deserved to make her dream true and the tanner girl looked so happy, so excited on leaving to California that Alison just didn't had the heart to ask her to stay.
As the blonde stood frozen, being consumed by her own thoughts, Emily was the one that approached and hugged the blonde, giving her a tight squeeze at the end of the hug. And that was it, that was all what Alison DiLaurentis, the girl who was a master to act around people could do, stay frozen as an statue; for Alison, it was disappointed, after all their story together, their goodbye should be so different, so more epic, but then, the blonde froze on the moment and zoned out, when she snapped on reality, it was already too late, Emily was already on her car, driving her way out of Rosewood, out of Alison's sight, out of Alison's life and the only thing that Alison could do, it was waving her hand saying 'bye'; tears appeared on her angelical face, blurring her ocean blue eyes, there was a storm of feelings, of pain, reflected on those blue eyes and Alison sighed deeply heavy, wondering if the brunette was able to see it and maybe, just maybe, if she saw it, if she saw how crushed Alison was, maybe she would turn the wheel and came back to her. Under that tiny possibility, Alison stood sitting on the stairs of the porch of her house, waiting, that her desperate thought, that her imagination could became reality; so she waited, she waited and kept waiting… waiting to see Emily's car appearing…
(California, 1 year after: 2006)
After her 1st year on college, Emily was already a California's girl, her skin never looked better, it was obvious that the sun of California was doing very well on her. It was the end of her 1st year of college, all just happened so fast, that was the constant thought of the brunette, it was like in the wink of an eye she just left to be a freshman on college and became a 2nd year student.
Emily sighed deeply under that thought as she was packing some boxes on her dorm room. The brunette was packing since she decided that for her 2nd year, she would live together with Paige in an apartment that they found; since Emily came to California and college started, Paige and Emily just reconnected, their relationship was less heavy than before, less complicated than it was with all the drama of –A and without Alison on the picture, it was just easier; yes, since Emily moved out from Rosewood, her contact with the blonde passed from texting each week to zero contact at all, people could wonder how did it happen? They were so close, Emily was her favorite, the one on which Alison always could rely on, the one that would be always there for the Queen Bee to do any demand, to reply any text, to be there for her 24/24 the 365 days of the year… that was supposed to be Emily, that was how it was supposed to be and that's the reason why Emily turned down all communication with her former Queen Bee; the brunette did it as subtle as she could, starting with not replying Alison's text, not taking her calls or replying her e-mails, geez, she even stopped following her on all the social medias.
Emily thought that this was the best for her. From the moment she left Rosewood; she made the mental goal to leave behind all her painful past, all that could torture her and hurt her heart, and that's why she shut down Alison once and for all. The brunette didn't want to be anymore the 'sweet Emily', the 'loyal one', she wanted to just be Emily, her and only without Alison, she decided that it would be the best for her heart and for herself… yes it was painful, at the beginning, the blonde didn't make it easy as she constantly kept texting her, calling her, God, she even sent her letters, handwritten letters! But one day, all the texts, the calls, the e-mails, the letters stopped; in that moment Emily understood that it was done, that her wish had become true and that she would probably never hear never again from the blonde, because she knew that much of Alison… that the Queen Bee had her pride, and if there was something that the blonde would never do, it would be begging.
Emily sighed heavy, as she was putting all the sealed letters of the blonde in a box, Emily caressed the envelopes, she mapped with her fingers, her address on California, handwritten by the beautiful calligraphy of Alison and an instantly smile appeared on her face, just by seeing the particular beautiful handwritten calligraphy of the blonde but that smile vanished from her face when Emily remembered the sad look of Alison when the brunette left Rosewood; yes, Emily did see the tears on Alison's face through the rear mirror of her car, she did see how blurry those beautiful blue eyes were when her car was driving her way out of the town, Emily saw it, the Queen Bee, the girl who never showed her feelings, the blonde that never showed her vulnerability, crying, with genius tears, she saw her, her 1st love with tears and with a look that was definitely asking Emily to stay, to never leave… Emily saw it, she saw it and she did understand the feeling, the struggle that those blue eyes were screaming without words… the brunette saw it, she felt it but even then, she walked away, she left without turning back…
Emily sighed deeply, putting the letters on a box, she had never found the courage to open them but she wasn't also brave enough to just threw them on the garbage so she just continued keeping them in a box; Emily should be happy because she made it, she did the one thing that she thought she would never be able to do: walk away from Alison DiLaurentis, breaking any connection with the blonde, but why she didn't feel happy? Emily did it for her own well-being, for her own happiness but when the communication ended, when the letters stopped arriving, when no text, no emoji popped on her phone coming from the blonde, the brunette didn't feel happy at all, she just felt a directly huge punch on her heart, she felt bad, hurt, she could feel how a hole was growing inside her, an emptiness, something that was a constant reminder of how incomplete she felt without the blonde, Emily hated feeling like that and as Alison had her pride, Emily had her stubbornness. The brunette wasn't willing to admit that she missed her, that she was craving for her, that even with all her efforts of ripping Alison from her heart, she still had strong feelings for her and that no matter how hard she was trying, those feelings would not leave her, possible never…
So time just flew by, and before knowing the 1st year of college just ended; but even then, without communication with her 1st love, with her golden girl; Emily could never feel really happy.
As Emily was packing, she smiled when her phone rang and she read the new text of her group on whatsapp; she started typing back. Hanna created the group, Spencer and Aria were also in the group; when Hanna created the chat group after the end of the 1st semester of college, Emily smiled, sparking of hope, waiting to see Alison on that group and hoping to reconnect with her but her smile faint when her best friend didn't add Alison on the group. Emily sighed disappointed and feeling bad for Alison, Emily realised that she wasn't the only one shutting down Alison. The brunette expected that someone would say something eventually about the absence of the Queen on the chat, but no one said anything; it shouldn't be a surprise for the brunette, even since Alison came back from the 'dead', she stood like an outsider of the gang, the girls would not openly admit it but that was the general feeling between the girls.
Emily took a time off from packing, she sat on her bed and sat comfortable to continue with her texting, she was smiling, chuckling, eventually even laughing under the no-filter comments of Hanna, her comments were just so typically of her, but that was one of the reason why Emily loved so much her friend; the chuckles and laughs subtly stopped and Emily just jumped of shock on her bed as she read one comment of Spencer, the other brunette had been MIA for a long time but she suddenly started to write again on the group:
Spencer's text. – "Hi, so I know that I haven't been in touch but I just wanted to inform you that last Saturday, Jason and Mr. DiLaurentis, suffered a car crash…"
Emily shot to herself, she just thought. – "What?! Oh, God… Ali… how she would be dealing with it… should I….?"
Emily's thoughts were interrupted with another revelation of Spencer…
Spencer's text. – "I came to the hospital to see my brother Jason…"
Without more text from the brunette, Emily looked really nervous, anxious, all over the edge, craving for more information and she wasn't the only one…
Aria's text. – "And?! How he is?! Is he ok?!"
Emily wasn't surprise that Aria was also emotional under the news, she did had a thing a long time ago with Jason so it was understandable for Emily that the short brunette was worry for him, after all, Aria had a huge and carry heart on her tiny body…
Spencer's text. – "He's stable, thanks for asking, but Mr. DiLaurentis unfortunately, he died so I just thought that you should know…"
And that was it, no one else replied to that, there were no words to say, no one asked for or mentioned Alison; Emily felt angry, sad, she wanted to snap on her friends for not questioning if Alison was ok, if she would need anything, but she didn't do it, she also kept silence, mute, because let's face it, she also gave the back on the blonde a long time ago, so who was her to judge the others?.
Since Emily received the news, she started to walk on circles on her dorm, constantly hitting her phone against her chin; she was really struggling with herself on what to do: should she call Alison? Should she go to her? Emily was debating with what to do when she received a call from the hospital, informing her that Paige just got into a car crash; without thinking on anything, she took her car's keys and ran out from her dorm…
(Rosewood, 2 years after: 2008)
After 3 years without putting a foot on Rosewood, Emily felt as a stranger in the town that once she called 'home', she wasn't there by self-will exactly; Wayne Fields, Emily's father just died and as he asked for it, he will be buried on Rosewood. The brunette was still crushed by the news, she was constantly remembering, the moment when her mom called her, crying, delivering the sad news. It was a sad moment for both women; the funeral was planned to be at the cemetery; Wayne would receive all the honors of being a great soldier but even more, a good and lovely father and husband.
The funeral was done at noon, Emily stood firm, holding her mom, the brunette decided to be a rock for her mom; she thought that it was the last thing that she could do for her, it was extremely painful to don't break in pieces of pain and sorrow but Emily just took deep breaths and even if she let out some tears from her brown eyes, she stood firm as a rock for her mom, not losing her posture.
A lot of family, friends and soldiers came to the funeral, the brunette was surprised by how many lives her Dad touched, how many persons did care for him, enough to come by to his funeral and paid their respects to him. The ceremony of the soldiers, carrying Wayne's sarcophagus and shooting some bullets on the air started, they folded the American flag and gave it to Pam, the old woman was so consumed by her pain and sorrow that she couldn't take it, she was a complete mess, incapable to stretch her arms and received the flag so Emily did it for her; she took it on her hands, the flag, and grabbed it tight with one arm as her other arm was around the shoulders of her mom, Emily was trying to be the support of Pam, she just did her best to keep it together during all the funeral.
The funeral was lovely, that was all what people would say, but for Emily there was nothing lovely on burring her father, on putting him six feet underground. It was painful, so, so painful; Emily just wanted to run away, to vanish from that situation, to just go anywhere and don't have the need to think, to deal with it, how easy would be to just run away from the grieving, from the pain, from the lost, from the constant reminder that her hero, her father, her adoration was gone… forever… Emily was consumed by her sorrow, shaking the hands of everyone that came to the funeral, accepting their condolences, most of the people were acquaintances of her Dad, but her old childhood friends, were there too… Hanna, Spencer, Caleb, Aria, Toby and by surprise of the brunette, even Alison DiLaurentis came.
The blonde arrived since the beginning of the funeral but Emily didn't notice her until the end of it, when everyone approached to Emily and Pam, in order to say their condolences; Emily wildly opened her brown eyes of surprise when she saw Alison walking towards them, she could not avoid looking from the bottom up to the gorgeous blonde, so elegant, so beautiful; Emily was in shock, frozen; from all the people in the world, she never thought to see her there, that Alison would be there for her, that she would show up for her; the brunette looked down and gulped hard as she felt guilty, guilty of not being there for the blonde when her father died. The brunette was supposed to be the big person between the two of them, but Alison being there, showing up for the brunette, for the one that just shut her down, for the 'loyal friend' that just broke any communication without a reason; the fact that Alison was there to accompany Emily on her pain, that just showed who was the big person in that moment, between the two of them…
Emily wasn't there for the blonde when she lost her father; contrary to Mr. Fields' funeral, the funeral of Kenneth DiLaurentis was cold and lonely, just some members of the company came by to his funeral, more likely as an obligation or trying to see if the former boss left something for them, they were just there for their own interest, looking what they could get from the situation as vultures and that kind of hypocrisy it was just the worse kind, Alison knew it, but as painful as it was to be around those vultures, as empty as it could feel their fakes condolences, that was better than nothing, that was what Alison thought in that moment, during her father funeral; with Jason at that time still on the hospital, Alison was alone on her Dad's funeral.
At that moment, when she lost her father, Alison hesitated on calling the girls, calling Emily for support, but she didn't do it; the Queen Bee had her pride, the one only thing that she could keep after all, so she was just gonna grip on it. Alison DiLaurentis had never begged and she would definitely not beg for love, if the girls didn't want her in their lives, she neither, that's why she stopped looking for Emily, writing to her.
As time flew and under the memory of her actions, Alison constantly cursed herself by clinging on Emily a while ago, God, she even wrote her how much she loved her on her last handwritten letter that she send to her; yes, the Queen Bee wrote to Emily a love's letter, Alison's 1st and only love's letter that she had ever done, expressing in it, her true feelings, exposing her vulnerability, her naked soul; she never did it for any one and she would never do it ever again; Emily never replied, never said anything, never showed up so that was the waking call that Alison needed to close that chapter on her life, to do as the other girls did; to turn the page, to leave behind all and everything, to forget them all and don't look for them never again… especially Emily; but when Alison found out that Wayne died, she couldn't avoid to show up and be there, after all, she still had strong feelings for the brunette, she also cared for the Fields, Alison would always be grateful with them for being always so kind and warm with her; the blonde never had a warm, lovely, carrying family but thanks to the Fields, she could at least know what it should feel to have one, she even, eventually, fantasized of being part of that warm family, to become a Fields and finally have a lovely and warm home but those dreams and fantasies just died a long time ago.
So, the blonde put on her more elegant black dress and her beautiful black coat, with her designer black shoes and appeared on the funeral with a bouquet of white roses; since the moment she put a feet on the funeral, she saw familiar faces, she saw the girls but she ignored them, passing by, through them without looking at them, acting as they were completely strangers...
2 years ago, yes, she saw Spencer when Jason was in the hospital, they shared superficial and little talks, using Jason as the only topic; the blonde just clenched her teeth's as she remembered of how much she just carried for them, for Jason and Spencer in the moment of the accident. Alison did show up every day at the hospital, bringing coffee and meals to Spencer when she stood in the hospital, accompanying Jason, she clenched her teeth's very tight as she also remembered how pathetic and loser she looked when Jason got out of the hospital and both of them, Jason and Spencer, they just walked away from her life, leaving her without even say 'thanks'; Jason left again on his voluntary work around the world and since he left, he hasn't made an effort to reach Alison, the blonde was sick to be the one, looking for others, so she just acted as she didn't care, even if she did care, but if Jason wasn't going to give her a call or even sent a postcard, Alison DiLaurentis would definitely not be the one giving the 1st step to reconnect with his brother.
So that's how, the former Queen Bee, the blonde who grew up being adored by everyone, the one who kept everyone curled on her fingers, that's how Alison ended, alone, completely vanished from her circle of friends, the girls that once she called her 'sisters', Alison DiLaurentis without friends, without any familiar member close to her at exception of Cece that was on the Health center, Alison DiLaurentis, alone and completely heartbroken by the brunette that was just meter of distance from her.
Alison shook her head, trying to don't overthink on the past and on those feelings, after all, there was a reason why she was there, and that reason it was to pay her respect to a wonderful man that she had the privilege to know. The blonde put the roses on the grave and then she turned towards the two brunettes; she first gave a huge hug to Pam, she did her best to put under that embrace her feelings, to transmit to the old woman how much she cared for them, for her; Alison whispered some words on Pam's ear, Emily looked at it by the corner of her eyes, trying to don't look very obvious; the brunette mumbled, mimicking the red painted lips of the blonde, trying to read and repeat what those beautiful lips of Alison were saying but Emily got just so focus on how appetizing those lips looked that she ended without being able to understand what she said to her mom; Emily just painted a smile on her face when she saw Pam chuckling, for the 1st time since Wayne died; it was a brief moment of chuckles and smiles, but it was enough to put a little of blush and color into the pale face of Pam.
After giving her condolences to Pam and sharing a little talk with her, Alison walked away from Pam and let other people to approach to her; the blonde took a deep breath and then turned her steps towards Emily, she wasn't sure of what to do or what to say, looking to those chocolate eyes was something that Alison thought never do it again, she wished for it but never like this, never under that kind of circumstances; both girls were overtaking by the moment and by all the feelings in the air so they let the control of their actions to their bodies, to act by themselves, Alison's body responded by gripping Emily in a long embrace and Emily's body just replied to the hug, nailing her fingers on Alison's back and burring her face in the neck of the blonde; Emily took a deep breath of the particular vanilla aroma of the blonde; it was something so typical of Alison and the brunette just realised how much she missed it, she realised that without words, without being in contact for all over 3 years, Alison knew exactly what to do, what Emily needed it, just hugs and silence, not condolence words, no motivational speeches, just silence and a warm hug, a hug in which Emily felt so loved, so safe, so perfectly fine…
The brunette wanted to live under that hug, to freeze time and stop worrying about anything and just enjoying being under the arms of her 1st love, of her only true love… but she couldn't, as much as she would wanted it, the embrace ended when Paige appeared, the official girlfriend, the one that just showed up until now.
Paige arrived and as a jealous dog, she just marked Emily as her territory, making clear that Emily was hers, that the brunette belonged to her and with a big smirk, Paige just separated the two girls and put Emily under her own embrace, she even kissed Emily in front of Alison, waiting some kind of reaction of the Queen Bee, waiting for a sassy comment or anything but nothing, Alison acted as if Paige wasn't there, she completely ignored her presence and her intrusion.
Alison just stretched a hand and grabbed one of Emily's hands, she gave it a warm squeeze, drawing some circles on it and Emily just smiled, chuckled under the lovely touch of the blonde, Emily looked down to their hands, she smiled and blushed seeing how perfect they looked together, how great it felt it, how right it felt it to be like this with Alison; the smile on Emily's face didn't last for too long as Alison pulled away, she took her hand away from Emily and once again, they got apart but this time, this time, it was Emily the one staying frozen, looking to the blonde walking away, leaving without looking back or turning back to her…