Hi again, wow thank you so much for your beautiful words; it makes me very happy knowing that you liked the mini story; I know that some of you asked for more but I can't do that because I really like how it ended, but I can assure you that more mini emison stories will come ^^.
Now, this is tragic so if you're too sensitive don't read it; this popped up into my mind after watching last PLL's episode, I mean, I don't know you guys but my emison feelings were hurt with last episode; the only thing that I liked about last episode was the music ending and Sasha acting, I mean, I really felt her struggle and sorrow… any way, this shot will continue after that episode 7x14… it will be done in two parts; this 1st part is all on Alison's POV and the second part will be on Emily's POV. It's my 1st time trying this kind of angle for writing so let's see how it goes… ^^
Go it alone – Part I
****Alison's POV****
(Alison's house)
Wanting… not wanting… Dating… not dating… liking… not liking… loving… not loving… feelings… feelings it's so hard to get, to understand but as hard as it's, as complicate and overwhelmed it can become; you can't stop feeling them, everybody has feelings, everybody feels something... everybody… even me…
I'm just lost on my internal struggle; what to do? What I want to do? God! Why?! Why?! It was hard enough just deciding on ending this life growing up inside me and now, you just make it 10 thousand times harder by adding Emily on the mix… (Sighs) I can't… I… it's Emily… It's a part of Emily… (A weak smile) Maybe a little mermaid… I can't kill a little mermaid… I can't… I just… I can't… I would not survive… despite what everybody thinks about me, I'm not than heartless… especially when it comes about Emily… Emily…
Emily, my sweet Emily… always so kind… you like helping people, you're always on my side, and always cheering me on… always so loyal… it makes me wonder… I wonder… no matter how bad time comes… no matter what I decide to do… will you still cheer for me? Will you stay at my side?
I've no idea of how long I've been daydreaming, but by the time I returned to reality everybody has already left. 'Great' I said to myself, I can't stop feeling a little hurt, not even Emily stood at my side… she said that she was going to be here for me… but I guess that now everything has changed… maybe she's just a mess as I'm right now… she may need time for herself… yes… it maybe that…
(Rosewood school)
The next morning I woke up, honestly I don't think that I really slept at all; but I guess that for now I'm so good pretender that no one notices it. I walk through the hallway, faking a smile for the entire world, just pretending, acting… just like before… showing a mask that looks good on me… I do what I know best… hiding the truth, hiding my sorrow, my pain, my feelings… It would be so easy if I could just run away from them, but I can't… believe me I've tried and failed…
(Ring bell)
I looked at the time, I can't stop the smile on my face, because it's launch time, so I will be able to see Emily… maybe everything will become clearly when I see her… I started walking in direction of the launch room but then I remembered that I forget my food on my car; I walked then in direction of the parking and for my shock I found Emily and Paige together… I froze, I froze because I don't know what to do, what to feel, and as I just froze, my phone rang and without thinking I looked at it and just as the cherry at the top; I stared at the video that AD just sent me, a video of Emily and Paige, riding on their bikes and then kissing, God! Kissing…
I can't see my face right now but I can tell that I'm not looking good by all the gaze of the students over me… my eyes looked up and when my eyes met those brown eyes of Emily, I just do what I do best… run… run fast… run away without looking back….
I drove for hours, I didn't leave far, I just needed feel that I had something in control, even if that was just driving in circles… It was late when I drove back home, in the distance I noticed someone sitting in the stairs of my porch and then once again a smile appeared in my face when I noticed that it's Emily… waiting for me…
I welcomed her inside my house, I offered her something to drink; she accepted a cup of tea. As soon as I stretched my arm and gave the cup, I froze when Emily said something to me…
Emily. – "I'm with Paige now…"
I replied. – "What about Sabrina?"
Emily doesn't reply, I just huffed, not because I care about the other blonde, but because the only thought of Emily & Paige together it just makes me sick…
Emily. – "We kissed…"
I replied with a bitter tone. – "I know… I saw it…"
Emily. – "What? You saw us in the loft? How?"
Oh, they also kissed in the loft! Fuck! This is just great! Well, breathe Alison… just breath…
Emily. – "Ali…"
I said. – "AD sent me a video of you and Paige kissing in the streets, if there is another video of you in the loft, I've no idea…"
Emily. – "Why he would do that?"
I snapped. – "I don't know Em! Why he think that I would care who you kiss?! Huh?! Why he would impregnate me with your eggs?!"
(Awkward silence)
Emily sighed heavy and said. – "I think that I should go…"
I feel bad of what I just said, but I can't take it back, me and my big bitchy mouth… I don't know why I snapped towards her; it's not her fault; I look at her and I panic when I notice her walking in direction of the front door; I don't know what it comes to me, but before knowing, I found myself hugging her, gripping on her before she could make another step…
Emily turned and said. – "Ali… what are you-…?"
I kissed her before she could say something else and before I could feel good under the kiss, I just felt hurt when she pushed me away…
Emily. – "Ali… I told you… don't kiss me before you…"
I talk without thinking. – "I need you… I want you…"
Emily. – "What?!"
We stared at each other; I looked at her and I think that I'm finally getting the courage to speak out something that it has been hunting me for years… a truth that I've never been able to speak out… a feeling that I'm being walking away for so long… and I just… for the 1st time… I'm slowly opening the door to really embrace that feeling… I'm just slowly opening to that feeling… just opening a tiny gap… a gap that it closes immediately when I heard Emily's words…
Emily. – "I'm not doing this again… I'm with Paige…"
And just like that, she left and I stood there frozen… just gulping hard and looking down as I'm feeling the tears following from my eyes.
The next day, we all deal with the 'AD game'; I just watch Emily by the corner of my eyes and I can tell that she's avoiding eye-contact… the day came quietly calm but I can't avoid to constantly stare at her; I even followed her when she walked away and speaks with Hanna in private and I overheard their talk… God! Why I did that…?!
Hanna. – "You don't look good…"
Emily snapped. – "Really?! You think so?!"
Hanna. – "Hey! You're not the only one dealing with this fucking game!"
Emily. – "Maybe not, but I'm the only one dealing with a pregnancy that I never wish for!" (Sighs) "God! I should never come back to Rosewood in the 1st place…"
Hanna. – "Believe me, you're not the only one getting that feeling…"
(Emily sighed heavy and she ran a hand through her hair)
Hanna. – "So what are you gonna do about the baby?"
Emily raised an eye brow. – " 'We'? There is not a 'we' ok?! It has never been a 'we'!"
And that's all I needed to hear to make a decision; my decision….
(In the Police station of Rosewood)
Detective Furey. – "Ms. Rollins… what…?"
I just wanted throw up when he called me 'Ms. Rollins' but then, I can't as it's true that I'm still married with that fucking psycho…
Detective Furey. – "Alison…"
I took a deep breath and said without hesitation. – "I killed him… I murdered Rollins…"
That night, I expended who knows how many hours, confessing to the police, I describe each detail without involving the girls; I'm so graphic about each detail that looking to the face of the detective, he has no doubts about me… being guilty.
Now, I'm in a cell, sitting in the floor, I just glued my eyes on the antz that are making a black path on the floor; I weakly smiled as I'm staring at them… walking one behind the other, helping themselves without hesitation, it looks nice… I look up into my pockets and I found some cookies crumbs in my pockets, I spread them into the floor and I smiled when I noticed the antz graving them with joy… I'm completely lost looking into the antz and I just looked up when I heard a voice talking to me…
Emily yelled. – "What the hell Ali?!"
I said with a bitter tone. – "What are you doing here? Don't you've a date with your dear PAIGE?!"
Emily. – "Why are you doing this?!"
I don't reply, really, I just look down towards the antz, I can't look at her... just looking at her, it makes me feel angry, hurt and just feeling a mix of emotions that right now… I can't deal with it…
Emily yelled. – "Alison! I made a question!"
Without hearing a reply from me, she just hit the bars of the cell and huffed, mumbling who knows what, but as it's for me… I really don't care…
Emily said before leaving. – "You doing always whatever you want! When you want! Without asking us! Without consulting it with us! You know what?! You know what?!"
I glanced at her with a challenging look, without saying a word; I just defied her on ending that sentence…
Emily said with a bitter tone. – "I'm so done with you…"
I sighed hard, hearing those words again… I still remember the 1st time that I heard them from her, yes… it was a while ago but they still hurt… just like now…