(shrugs) i was listening to "son of a man" and it was nearing my birthday. sooooooooooooo i made this! my own little birthday gift i used my vague knowledge of ita-kun, and i hope i didn't mess up to bad ne.

warning- spoilers

reasons- i just listed em XDD

rating- G

paring- hinted ita/sasu ita/shisui

summary- on this journey that your making, there'll be answers that you seek, and its you who'll climb

the mountain, its you who'll reach the peak. son of a man look to the sky, lift your spirit set it

free. someday you'll walk tall with pride, son of a man, a man in time you'll be.

disclaimer- i own nothing! not the show, nor the song this was based off of. no sue!

enjoy!

I never thought growing up would be hard. I mean, it didn't seem so hard at first. How was i to know? By seven I realized, that I wasn't going to be walked through life, I wasn't going to have real support besides my annoying little brother who wouldn't possibly understand, and no one, would be there to hold my hand when I was scared or nervous. It was something I realized once I was out of the academy. No one would guide me through the difficult parts in my just barely starting life, and I knew then and there, I wasn't a child anymore.

By eight I was asking things like "What would happen if I did this?" or the more complex "What was my purpose here?" questions. It was something I needed to know, and nothing would stop me. I had learned as much as I could, studied everything, and only for a few hours at night did I wonder about what I would become, what lied at the end of my swerving path? The path to any dreams I had was hard, the journey treacherous with hidden traps and life and death situations, and even bursts of anxiety.

Around nine my little brother would ask me to train him, and I would always say no. I was busy, and I needed to reach the end of this dizzying road quickly, before I went insane. But the few times I did train or play with him, I couldn't help but feel a warm feeling go through me. The knowledge that I was helping someone become a great ninja filled me with the pride I had grown to love. I thought maybe a teaching job would be nice, but, what I could do, would never be something a child could easily learn. I thought maybe an ANBU might be fun, and I stuck with the thought, deciding it was something I could do.

Around ten I began to think more clearly, though my dream was still there. No one really knew of my more emotional side, the one with dreams and pain and anxiety and even fear of my future. Only Shisui knew of it, and I really never thought much of it. It was something strange to me how people could think I was heartless. Over the years of hardship and pain, I had designed and made the perfect shield for me, to keep things from getting messy outside of my mind. So I kept it on, never letting it slip once lest something bad happened.

At the ages of eleven and twelve I found myself beginning to view the world differently, seeing more bad than good. Nothing was innocent before, but now, even hope was being sucked from me. My life was becoming to difficult, to stressful and way to jumbled. I found myself going through odd changes physically, but that wasn't what confused me. It was when I would actually spend time near Shisui or Sasuke. I picked up the answer to my dillema rather quickly, as I was a bright child. I had a crush, a crush that I was sure would blow over quickly. By thirteen I figured out a way to upgrade the Sharingan, and I had to choose who I would sacrifice to do it. Shisui was my choice.

The clan was becoming suspicious of me, and I didn't blame them. You shouldn't judge people by appearances, it was a stupid thing to do. Things began to get tense and I could always hear Sasuke's annoying concern. As if i needed it. Things began to calm down a little, but not enough. I knew that if I messed up once, everyone would use it as a reason to have me arrested, so I was careful for all of two days. I had been watching my eyes shift between black to my newly upgraded Sharingan in the mirror when it came to mind. I knew tons of attacks for it, but I hadn't tested any of them. If this thing was that strong, I wanted to test it out on the only people who might possibly be able to fight it.

I'm seventeen now, and I watch as Sasuke claims he hates my guts. As if, if he hated me as much as he claims, he could kill me, which he obviously couldn't do. The brat was trying to do something he wasn't capable of. But I couldn't really bring myself to kill him just yet. Traces of my old crush still lingered, so I didn't really feel like it.

Now I stare at my reflection, noting that I was now eighteen. I had grown up to be increadably strong, wise(to an extent), and I could feel all of the hard won pride and knowledge and work and training flow through me. I was almost perfect, in my own league, in my own ditch. I couldn't get out, and nobody could go deeper than me, as they couldn't come in. I had reached whatever peak of the mountain that was there, where the road ended at ten and a mountain started by eleven. I had claimed all of my prizes, and now, I vaguely wondered. I wondered if the reason K got here was because no one guided me, helped or supported me.

After all, I had gone through hell and back just to get here, and no one had helped me. I wonder...

Is that why I turned out like this?

zwa!!!!! finished:3 i enjoyed writing that! the ending sentence can be taken any way you wish ne.