Chapter 823

Blame Yourself

Cameron was very upset when she received the call from CamNet about Riley. She was very worried something could go wrong and affect the baby. Sarah was sent to see Riley in her room while she talked to Claire on the phone. Somewhere during this process her hand began to glitch. She decided to go back to the Resistance base on her own.

Cammy could see that Cameron was now highly agitated. She left with Cameron. She determined Cameron was in no condition to go anywhere alone. She didn't want Cameron to leave agitated and end up who knows where. She could 'Allison out' on them again. She might disappear for a few days if she went off to who knows where. It wouldn't be the first time.

Ally was worried about Cameron too. She wanted to go with her as well. She quickly assigned other Terminators to do the tasks they were working on. That way all three of them could go. She wasn't really big on doing manual labor anyway. She was still upset that she needed to dig a grave deep enough by hand to bury five Grays earlier with Cammy.

Cameron really didn't want the extra company but it was clear they were going to go with her anyway. There was someone else that she wanted to be with her. It was the one person that always made her feel comfortable.

"I want to get Savannah to go with me." Cameron said

Cammy was all for that but for different reasons than Cameron would need.

"Savannah will calm you." Cammy said.

Cammy saw that Cameron started to glitch even more.

Cameron looked at Cammy, she looked almost desperate.

"I want your files…." Cameron said to Cammy. "I NEED them."

Cammy knew what Cameron referred to. They were the files of Savannah and her together as they made love. She wanted to assure Cameron that everything would happen over time as it was intended. She honestly believed that for the files to have relevance and true meaning that Cameron would have to make her own files. She could share lots of files with Cameron but in the end they were still her experiences and not Cameron's.

"Cameron, it will happen when it is supposed to happen." Cammy said. "You can't take shortcuts and expect it to be meaningful."

Cameron didn't want to talk anymore. That answer wasn't good enough. She wanted Cammy to share with her. She wanted more now. Ally was there too, she also shared extensively with Savannah and the girls from the future. She'd also been with all of the other Metal girls as well. No. She wanted Cammy's files. She knew that whenever Savannah shared with Cammy that Savannah always viewed Cammy as being 'her'. She knew that even during those 'special moments' Savannah shared with Cammy, it was her name 'Cameron' that Savannah always said. Right now she felt Cammy was a little selfish. She'd created Cammy specifically to act as her surrogate to share with Savannah. Cammy was supposed to fill in for her, not replace her in Savannah's life. She gave Cammy a dirty look.

"I'll think about it." Cameron said.

Cammy wasn't really sure that she wanted Cameron around Savannah in her current condition. She was glad that she was there with Ally.

"We'll get Savannah." Cammy said. "Everything will work out fine."

Ally saw what was going down. She was able to get all the work covered. She started leaving messages for Savannah. She ran after them and joined them. Cammy drove Cameron and her away.

She watched Cameron as she sat there. Usually she looked straight ahead. Sometimes she would look at Cammy and then turn around and look at her. It gave her a very uncomfortable feeling. She really wondered what thoughts were going through Cameron's mind at that particular point in time. It made her wonder if Cameron wanted to deactivate them. It wasn't a comfortable feeling.

John thought there was some type of problem developing at Derek's room. He was headed there to check it out. His first thoughts were that it may be related to Riley and her baby. He was worried about both of them. He felt it was his duty as their leader to express his concern.

He briefly looked at his room as he passed. He wondered if he would see any action there later on. He passed by his mother's room and knew that was where Derek retreated to. That must mean Kyle was in there as well.

John knocked softly at the door to Derek and Riley's room.

Sarah answered.

Sarah took one look at John. She didn't think he should be there. She wanted a little more professional help as opposed to a lookie-loo. She didn't really think that he needed to see 'any more' of Riley anyway. He should have gotten his fill with Future Riley.

"Go away." Sarah said. "What female Terminators are here?"

John knew the situation was a little unusual.

"They're all out." John said.

Sarah felt a little guilty about that. She'd used some of them to watch Jan and take her out so she could be alone with Kyle undisturbed. That was kind of a moot point currently.

"Typical." Sarah said. "So are all the girls."

John was more than a little concerned at this point. It sounded like there was a problem for sure.

"Is there a medical issue?" John asked.

Sarah almost told him she wasn't a doctor but refrained from being too sarcastic.

"I don't know." Sarah said.

John knew of someone who'd help Riley previously.

"John Henry may be able to help." John said. "He has access to a vast medical database."

Riley was behind Sarah, she listened to the conversation. The mention of John Henry gave her a ray of hope.

"John Henry helped me before." Riley said. "I want him to look at me."

John quickly called John Henry.

"He's on his way." John said.

John Henry arrived at the room a short time later at a run.

On his way there John Henry felt a rush of excitement. He found the female body to be extremely fascinating. He'd looked Riley over before. He hoped to be able to do so again. It was really the only time that he was able to touch a human female. He touched female Terminators before but that was usually for repair. If they were still online at the time of the repair they didn't allow him to touch any other part of them. They actually seemed rather indignant about it. If they were offline and no one was around he'd looked and touched other parts of their sheaths as well. One area in particular fascinated him. Every time he viewed that area, he always thought there was a lot going on down there.

John Henry entered the room and looked over Riley. He wasn't sure if she was about to give birth or not. He wanted to plug into the database to do a more thorough examination. His first instinct though was that she might be about to deliver. He wanted to get her to the proper location if that was going to happen.

"I'm taking her to the infirmary." John Henry said. "John, bring Derek but keep him outside. Sarah can open the doors. I think someone needs to call Cameron."

John Henry effortlessly and gently scooped Riley up and carried her away.

John called Cameron as he went to get Derek. He wasn't sure what type of problem his call was going to create for her. He knew it would be one of some type.

"Hello." Cameron said.

John explained the situation to her. He answered whatever questions he could.

"I'm on my way." Cameron said.

Cameron hadn't bothered to tell him she was aware of the situation and being updated continuously by CamNet as to what was going on. She wanted to hear what he had to say and how he would explain it. She didn't tell him that she was actually already on her way anyway.

Cammy saw Cameron's hand stop glitching after she started talking on the phone.

Cameron listened and asked a few questions.

"I'm on my way." Cameron said.

Cameron contacted CamNet to inform all the girls what was happening.

Cammy wondered if this was going to change Cameron's plans to pick up Savannah.

"What about Savannah?" Cammy asked.

Cameron already gave that a lot of thought. She could give something a lot of thought in a very short amount of real time. She wanted the 'Chosen Ones' there. In the future they may need to deal with similar circumstances with each other or with others. She wanted them to know and see what everything was like. She'd been there for both of Savannah's pregnancies and for her it was very traumatic to watch and be a part of. Maybe it was the pain that Savannah needed to go through during childbirth that bothered her the most. There was absolutely nothing she could do at that point to help Savannah. She could only offer her the comfort of her presence. It did seem to help quite a bit.

"We're bringing her as well as Young Allison." Cameron said.

Cammy was instantly agitated at Cameron's new revelation. She didn't think that it was appropriate.

"Why do you want to bring Young Allison along?" Cammy asked.

Cameron looked over at Cammy. She didn't like being challenged on her decision by anyone. The only one that she would listen to challenge her was Savannah. She would seriously listen to what Savannah told her. She always adopted what Savannah suggested. Right now this was about preparing the girls for the future.

"I want her exposed to the realities of real emergencies and childbirth." Cameron said. "She's ready to learn."

Ally figured her comment would probably cause a problem but she thought that it was very relevant. It was the 'Allison' in her that made her say that. She still thought it was an appropriate question.

"Maybe we should ask her mother first." Ally said.

Cameron's head snapped around as she looked at Ally.

"I know what's best." Cameron said.

Ally did not want to argue about it with Cameron. Maybe it was better for Young Allison to be exposed to childbirth under more favorable medical conditions with others able to assist. She possessed files from The 'Neural Interface' with Allison about childbirth under less than favorable conditions in the future. Often the infant didn't survive. Sometimes the mother terminated as well.

Cammy believed that Ally was correct. Cameron should show some decency and respect and contact Young Allison's mother first.

"Ally is right. Her mother should be there too." Cammy said.

Cameron looked very upset at this point she looked at both Cammy and Ally.

"Allison's mother was dead and she needed to face life's hardships on her own by this age in my future." Cameron said. "I'm going to MAKE her stronger. I'm going to MAKE her better. I'm going to MAKE her perfect. I'm going to protect her."

Cammy often didn't agree with some of the decisions that Cameron made for Savannah and some of the things that she'd exposed her to. She didn't like the way a lot of them were done either. She didn't like that Cameron made Savannah kill, which at times was little more than murder.

"Are you going to 'harden' her like you've done with Savannah?" Cammy asked. "Are you going to MAKE her a 'killer' too?"

Cameron was highly agitated right now. She knew what was best for everyone, especially Savannah and Young Allison. She wanted the girls protected and she knew how to do that. She knew what she wanted for Young Allison going forward.

"YES." Cameron said. "She will survive any encounter and face every danger with training and confidence. I'll not stop until she is the human version of me."

Cammy and Ally looked at each other. Cameron said what they all already believed. Cameron was going to make herself 'human' through Young Allison. That could be good and bad. One thing was for sure. In order to do that, Young Allison was going to be subjected to a lot of things that she didn't need to be subjected to.

When it came to combat and dealing with Skynet, Ally and Cammy both knew the dangers Savannah faced. Savannah faced more Terminators than many others ever needed to face. She'd faced more Terminators alone than Ally or Cammy ever were required to face. They were sure at some point Cameron would begin to expose Young Allison to more of the same dangers.

The girls finished up in the pool and headed back to the locker room.

Sheila and Young Allison played around. Savannah watched but didn't interfere. She could see they were just fooling around. It did strike her as somewhat strange to see Sheila interact in the manner that she did with Young Allison. At this point in time Sheila wasn't the hardened killer she normally was. She actually acted very much like Young Jesse. It reaffirmed her belief that Terminators evolved in relation to the people they associated with. She was sure that many of Cameron's problems were caused by the way she was first treated when she hooked up with Sarah and John and later Future Derek.

It was harder for her to tell who was more excited by the encounter Young Allison or Sheila. She didn't think Sheila would take anything too far especially with her there. She was pretty sure that if Sheila and Young Allison were alone that Sheila would do anything that Young Allison asked her to do or suggested.

Sheila really shared a good experience with Savannah and Young Allison. She felt different inside than she normally did. Just being in the presence of these two girls was mood changing. She could see why Cameron wanted this and craved it. They didn't seem to have the negativity and the baggage of the future hanging over them like the people from the future did.

Savannah was a little surprised when she checked her phone when they got back to the locker room. It appeared that there was a new and significant development.

"We need to be ready to roll." Savannah said. "I want to get back to Allison's house. Cameron and Cammy are going to meet us. Riley may be ready to give birth."

Young Allison was excited to hear that. She wondered if she could go along. She wanted to know what to do. She also wanted to see what the experience was like. She knew Savannah needed to go through it twice in two different futures. She also knew that the conditions were less than ideal for both of those. If something would have gone wrong, Savannah could have died either time.

"Can I go too?" Young Allison asked.

Savannah was aware that Cameron already made that decision. She thought that it would be a good learning experience for Young Allison. She didn't really know if she would have made that same choice on her own. It was something important.

"Cameron has requested you do." Savannah said. "She wants you to learn what to do."

Young Allison felt as much excitement as she did apprehension.

"You've told me a lot." Young Allison said.

Savannah could see Young Allison was a little nervous but she did appear eager.

"I can tell you that 'seeing' and 'telling' are two different things. Actually 'doing' is different still." Savannah said. "I'll go over everything with you in the car. If you become 'uncomfortable' when we're at the Resistance base, you may move one room away. It's not pretty."

Savannah hoped this may slow down Young Allison's desires to fulfill some of her 'promises' to Cameron. Then again, she was pregnant herself for the third time. They hadn't slowed her down much. She also knew she wasn't much older than Young Allison was right now the first time she got pregnant. She really didn't want Young Allison to get pregnant as early as she did.

The girls were almost dressed.

Sheila waited to put her top on until she was dressed and her shoes were on. She slowly centered her nipple rings and put her top on last. She faced Savannah and Young Allison as she did.

Both Savannah and Young Allison 'watched' without watching.

Sheila smiled at both of them. She liked to be noticed. She'd actually considered asking each of them to center a ring for her.

They headed back to the Young residence.

There were a few calls in rapid succession at the Young residence.

Allison could tell that there was some issue developing. The atmosphere instantly changed at the house.

"Mom, what's happening?" Allison asked.

Claire looked at Allison before she spoke. She didn't want to create any unnecessary apprehension for Allison and her current pregnancy.

"Riley has some pregnancy questions." Claire said.

It seemed like more than that to Allison.

"Is she OK?" Allison asked. "Is something wrong?"

Claire actually did think something was wrong. She didn't want to say that.

"I need you to watch Summer." Claire said. "I think I need to go there to be with her."

Allison was worried about Riley now as well. Since Riley was one of the girls from the future, she felt the need to be there as well. She hoped at some point to be able to deliver a baby herself. This experience would give her a refresher of what it was like.

"I'm going too." Allison said. "We can bring Summer with us and she can study or practice with Jan. You know Summer likes all the stuff at the base."

Claire decided they would all go. Summer and Jan always liked to hang out together.

"Get everyone ready." Claire said.

Anna updated them on the current status of the others.

"Savannah's on her way back here now." Anna said.

Claire thought that Young Allison and Anna could hang out together in the bunker or do whatever else they wanted to do.

"Can you watch over Allison when she gets back?" Claire asked.

Anna was aware that Cameron made other plans for Young Allison.

"She's going as well." Anna said. "Cameron has requested she observe."

Claire did hear something from Cameron about it. She wasn't sure if she was serious but evidently she was. She still wasn't sure that was the right decision though.

"Cameron did mention it to me." Claire said. "I know why Cameron wants it done, even if I don't agree. I do understand."

Claire thought of the future she'd been to. It wasn't a pleasant place. She delivered Destiny for Future Allison and the conditions were less than ideal. Even at that, they were still better than what most of the females who were able to have children endured there.

She was sure this was the start of a chain of events and trips into the past. She knew if it didn't start today, it would in the next few days or weeks at the latest.

Cameron previously told her what the chain of events would be and this was the first one. Maybe it was all happening now.

John went to Sarah and Kyle's room to get Derek. He filled them in on what was going on. He could see that Derek was a little less than thrilled about what was going to happen.

"Relax." John said to Derek. "John Henry has every medical procedure ever recorded on his database or can access it."

Derek felt a little apprehension before when John Henry 'doctored' Riley before.

"He's not a real doctor." Derek said.

John actually saw that as a positive as opposed to a negative.

"No, he's better than a 'real doctor', he won't make mistakes. If he needs to perform some surgical procedure it will be done with extreme accuracy as opposed to that of a human hand." John said. "As soon as we get some female Terminators here they can take over if it makes you feel better."

What would make Derek feel better was Cameron being there. Her presence evoked confidence when she was around.

"I want Cameron here." Derek said. "Is she coming?"

John Henry informed John that Cameron was on her way.

"Yes. Cameron has been there for Savannah twice, Claire twice and Young Jesse once that I know about." John said. "There could be more that have happened that I was never made aware of."

John thought more could have happened and Cameron may not have told him everything. She wasn't always forthcoming with all the facts when they could cause a problem. The last time that he was almost with Savannah at Avila Beach he did see a few stretch mark lines on her abdomen. When he was with Young Allison he was going to be sure to check to see if she had any as well. He wouldn't put anything past Cameron.

"Would that surprise you?" Derek asked.

John didn't even need to think about that question.

"No." John said. "Nothing that Cameron would do would surprise me anymore."

Derek could see there was a slight look of disgust on John's face.

"Blame yourself." Derek said. "You reprogrammed her."

John didn't see it that way. He wasn't Future John. He actually hoped that he never would be.

"That wasn't me even if it was or is or will be…." John said.

Derek didn't want to argue it with John. He knew it was still him who did it or would.

"Kyle's getting dressed now, he'll join us." Derek said.

John remembered his mother's attire. That was more information then he needed to know.

"TMI, dude…." John said.

It was clear what must have been happening when this incident started.

Gail was out with Jesse, Vanna and Cam. They'd taken Jan out for a few activities, a movie and to the arcade.

Gail was very worried about Savannah and the unfolding operation earlier. She refused to do anything until Savannah was in a safer setting. She wanted to be by the manned drone in case she was needed. Once the operation wound down, Gail was ready to join the others.

She received the message about Riley from John Henry. The other girls received the message as well. Sarah wanted a female Terminator to be there for Riley.

Cam said she needed to go back at once. When Jan heard that Riley might have her baby, she wanted to go back as well. She said they could go to the arcade another time with the same five of them again. They all agreed. They'd all had a good time being around a young person who didn't see the world as they all did.

The five of them headed back.

The group departed from the Young residence once they were all united.

Sheila drove one SUV with Ally, Hanna, Claire, Summer and Anna.

"This sounds like it is going to be a gathering of the skirts." Sheila said.

Anna knew what words would come next and covered Summer's ears.

"It sounds more like it is going to be a 'Bitchfest'." Ally said.

Claire sat in the back as she looked at Sheila.

Sheila made sure Claire got to see what she wanted to see. She made sure there was a 'nip slip'.

She could see that got Claire's attention. She wanted to have a little fun with her.

"I'm just like Jesse but I never get tired or slow down." Sheila said.

Claire was well acquainted with the attributes of female Terminators. Their ability to deliver pleasure was next to none.

"I know." Claire said.

Hanna shot Sheila a dirty look and then they all laughed except Anna and Summer. Summer's ears were still covered by Anna.

Cammy drove the other SUV with Cameron, Holly, Allison, Savannah and Young Allison. Savannah sat in the middle with Allison on one side of her and Young Allison on the other side of her. Cameron and Cammy were in the front and Holly was in the very back.

Savannah could see both Allison and Young Allison looked worried or at least apprehensive. She looked at both of them and took Young Allison's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Savannah looked at Young Allison and then at Allison's hand. Young Allison nodded and Savannah took Allison's hand as well.

She was able to give the silent closeness and comfort that they both needed.

Everyone was on the way to be there for Riley. They didn't know what was going to happen or what new problems would develop.

The one who was worried the most was Cameron.

No One Knows Why

Everyone builds walls
The walls we hide behind
The walls keep others out
The walls also keep us confined

As we protect ourselves from others
We remain unable to protect
Ourselves from ourselves
Causing ourselves much neglect

The trepidation of rejection
Is what screams the loudest
In abject fear we tremble
Of whom we once were proudest

As our hidden hearts swell
Our emotions linger and dwell
Cracks erupt in our weakened shell
Nothing can make the tears dispel

What is almost as sad
As the things that make us cry
Is that if they ever did notice
No one knows why

Nobody