Chapter 826

Five Months

Riley did her best to deal with the baby. It was a lot of work for her. She seemed somewhat overwhelmed at times to take care of her. She'd begun to wonder if she could even take care of the baby on her own. It didn't seem like it. Derek gave what support he could.

All the girls, both Metal and human wanted to help out and were there to lend a hand. It made things much easier for Riley.

Savannah was able to assist her and give her support and advice. It reminded her how tiny newborns were. It reminded her about a lot of things dealing with babies. It reminded her of things she didn't need to be reminded about. She was more than willing to let the other girls have a chance to help out.

She watched Vanna and Allison as they helped with the baby. She could see how much they cared for the tiny infant. She could see how much they wanted their own child. She could also see the hurt and anguish they felt for not having their own children.

She needed to wonder about that. Was it worse to not be able to have a child or to have one and need to give it away? She was really not sure about that. If one couldn't have a child, they couldn't have a child. If one could have a child and give it away, they could always have another child. One was a closed door, the other one was a revolving door.

Savannah was aware Cameron didn't want to inform Vanna and Allison yet, that she carried Vanna's child and Claire carried Allison's baby. Cameron wanted to wait first to see what happened with Allison. Cameron told her that Allison's pregnancy would most likely terminate. It was what happened to all the others she'd experienced.

She reflected back on the conversation.

"What happens if it doesn't terminate?" Savannah asked.

Cameron looked a little nervous with the question.

"I'll ask Allison if I can keep the child her mother is carrying for John and me." Cameron said.

Savannah wasn't sure how that would actually play out.

"It's still Allison's baby." Savannah said. "They would be siblings, a few months apart."

Cameron looked at her for a long moment.

"I don't think it will happen." Cameron said.

Savannah honestly didn't think this needed to be an issue for Cameron.

"Cameron, I'll have a child for you and John. You know this." Savannah said. "I promise. You don't need to worry about this."

Savannah watched Cameron move her left hand behind her back.

"I know that but I can't take your baby from you." Cameron said.

Savannah was determined to help Cameron. She was willing to sacrifice again

"It won't be my baby." Savannah said. "From conception until birth and thereafter, it will be YOUR baby. That's how I will view it. I've done this before…."

Cameron moved her left arm a little further behind her body.

"No." Cameron said. "I won't allow that."

Savannah didn't like being told 'no' anymore than Cameron did.

"I AM going to do this for you." Savannah said. "You can't stop me."

Cameron looked intently into Savannah's eyes.

"If you do this again for anyone, it needs to be for Vanna." Cameron said.

Savannah let out a long breath slowly.

"She won't take my child from me." Savannah reminded Cameron.

Cameron managed a faint smile.

"I've developed a workable solution to that." Cameron said. "It will be her child, from her body."

That was what Cameron did and made happen. She physically took the genetic material from Vanna, fertilized it, then implanted it in Savannah, well a specialist did anyway.

That was where Savannah was at now.

Savannah wanted to tell Vanna she would have HER own child soon. Cameron wanted it all tied in to Young Allison's maturation in the past, the timeline of the past. She was also aware that since it really was Vanna's genetic material that was used, it might also fail. Savannah and Cameron agreed if it did, Savannah would use her own genetic material and they would tell Vanna it was from her body. In reality, it really was from her body, the body of Savannah Weaver. That's who Vanna was and is anyway.

Vanna brought Savannah back to now, the present.

"I remember when Jan and Summer were little, both of them." Vanna said. "It's easy to forget how tiny they are, they seem to grow so fast."

Savannah thought of her two babies in two different futures. It was never a good feeling. There was always some reminder that brought it up. She'd hoped as the time went by that things would hurt less. It seemed they still hurt the same. She knew if she could do it all over, she would still do what she did because it needed to be done. There was no one else to do it.

Vanna saw the look of sadness on Savannah's face. She could see how their conversation hurt Savannah. She didn't know if she should move on or address the issue. She wanted to give her support.

"I'm sorry, Savannah." Vanna said. "I know of your sacrifice."

Savannah didn't want to feel sorry for herself nor did she want anyone else to. Life was about choices. She was the one who made those choices and everything that was involved with them from start to finish.

"Don't be." Savannah said. "Yes, it does hurt me to think of it but I would do the same thing again that I did both times."

Vanna looked at Savannah for a few moments. She could see that she was totally serious. She knew that Savannah believed in the things that she did and said. She still felt Cameron was the one who was responsible for all that happened.

"I know you did it for Cameron." Vanna said.

Savannah believed that statement was true to a certain extent. It actually went much further beyond that. She was the one who decided what she was going to do with her body.

"I did but I did it on my own." Savannah said. "I'm not done yet either."

There was a look of grave concern on Vanna's face.

"You can't sacrifice any more." Vanna said.

Savannah saw things differently. It didn't mean that she needed to like them but she did understand them and what needed to be done. It was the right thing to do for the other versions of herself. They weren't strangers, acquaintances or friends, they were HER.

"I MUST and I WILL." Savannah said. "I have an obligation to help MYSELF and Cameron."

Vanna didn't think that weight should be laid on anyone's shoulders, especially a young teenager.

"You don't." Vanna said.

Vanna wanted a baby but she didn't want to take one from Savannah. It would be too traumatic for both of them and then need to see each other everyday. At least with her babies in the future, Savannah didn't need to see them every day. Here it would be like rubbing salt in the wound, every day.

Savannah felt there was a sense of honor to it. It was about doing the right thing and helping those who couldn't help themselves. If it wasn't her, who would be the one do it? If she didn't do it when she did, when would it get done? Certain parts of it were very traumatic to her and she did feel an immense amount of grief and loss. She believed that any version of someone else would do the same thing to help another version of themself who was beyond help on their own. She looked squarely at Vanna.

"What would YOU do if you were me?" Savannah asked.

Vanna thought about the question that Savannah just asked her. For a moment she wanted to laugh because of the reality of the situation. The circumstances however didn't warrant any humor.

"That question is almost funny, since I am YOU." Vanna said. "But it's not funny for its context."

Savannah really wanted to know. She wasn't joking around. She wanted to know how different Vanna and her really were. Obviously Vanna experienced a much rougher life than she did growing up and a lot more abuse than most females ever needed to endure any place on Earth. The question was a very personal question and it was a legitimate question.

"I'm asking you a serious question. What would YOU do?" Savannah asked. "I want to know."

Vanna felt fear grip her from inside. So far in her life it was clear that she'd been pregnant numerous times. All of the ones that happened in the future were from assaults. Obviously none of them 'stuck'. That wasn't like the ones before she would have first been able to reproduce physically. It indicated that her body was already ruined before she could physically have children. The assaults started soon after Judgment Day and went on for a decade. She didn't like it but she'd always done what she needed to do to stay alive, especially when she was in the hands of Scavengers. She was one of the few females ever to escape a Scavenger camp with all of her female body parts. She was sure if she ever were to be able to have a baby it would be much like Riley and it was going to be only once. Could she give that baby to someone else, even if it was another version of herself?

"I don't know." Vanna said.

Savannah believed that if Vanna was her in her current physical condition that she would.

"I do." Savannah said. "You would do the same thing to help YOURSELF or Cameron."

Vanna looked at Savannah. If Savannah needed help and she could do it, she didn't see how she couldn't do it.

"Maybe I would." Vanna said.

Savannah believed it was in the core makeup of who they were as individuals. Maybe the life experiences were very different but the core individual was the same.

"You would because I would." Savannah said. "I have."

Savannah could see something was on Vanna's mind. The talk of children seemed to have triggered something in Vanna now. It didn't look like a good thing either.

Vanna now thought of some of the other things done to her in her future. They were things that were unspeakable to her before. The incident she now thought about was the lowest form of humiliation she could think of, other than being publicly assaulted and then tortured to death. Maybe it was time to tell some of the stories. She'd never been able to tell them before to anyone. Maybe because it made her hate her body even more than what was done to it, because of what couldn't be done to it. She wanted Savannah to know. She wanted Savannah to know the truth.

"There are other stories I didn't tell you." Vanna said. "I haven't even told these to Allison. I never could. Maybe I can only tell them to 'myself'. Maybe I need to tell someone so I can let it out of my mind. I need to be someone I can trust. I believe I can trust 'myself'."

Savannah didn't want Vanna to go down some bumpy emotional road that she'd blocked off years ago. She'd watched Cameron go down plenty of those roads multiple times that she didn't need to. She didn't want Vanna to end up on the rocks as a shipwreck.

"The stories may remain untold too." Savannah said. "You're entitled to some dignity."

It was like Vanna never even heard her. It was clear she needed to get something off of her chest.

"They tried to breed me before." Vanna said. "I was captured and traded. For all practical purposes I was SOLD for breeding. It was like what people do now to livestock or other animals for breeding purposes."

Savannah felt the bile rise up in her throat. She'd already heard enough stories from Vanna that physically made her ill. From what Vanna just indicated, this was going to be something even worse. She didn't know if it was going to be worse physically or mentally are both.

"Stop…." Savannah said. "You don't need to talk about this."

Vanna wanted to get it out from inside of herself. She didn't want it bottled up inside of her anymore. She needed to be free of the humiliation. She wanted to cast the shame out.

"I want to." Vanna said. "I'm telling 'myself'."

Savannah looked at Vanna and knew how deeply this affected her. She wanted her free from the demons that haunted her inside. She'd watched on multiple occasions how the demons Inside of Cameron afflicted her. She wanted to make sure that Vanna knew that there was an escape route any time that she needed it.

"Proceed if you must and stop when you need to." Savannah said. "Don't hurt yourself any worse."

Vanna wanted to tell someone. She needed to tell someone. She was glad it was Savannah. What better person was there to trust?

Vanna took a deep breath and then started.

"You know I was assaulted multiple times starting from when I was younger." Vanna said. "That was when I went from being a girl to a woman."

Savannah felt 'goose bumps' form on her skin to be reminded of what Vanna needed to endure and when it needed to start. She tried to picture herself at that age but couldn't.

"You told me. I know. I can't even imagine that at such a young age." Savannah said. "I can't even imagine that at any age for that matter."

Savannah remembered some of the stories about how Vanna was held down and abused. She wondered how this story was going to be different. The other ones seemed bad enough already. Just the thought of being stripped and held down as she watched a line form made her want to scream. She really didn't understand why some of them needed to flip her over when it was their turn.

Vanna paused for a few moments and collected herself. She tried to organize her thoughts so the story would come out in some type of coherent manner instead of a jumbled mess.

"It was when I started puberty that I was captured by a new group. After many assaults by multiple assailants I was marketed as 'breeding material' for childless families. That was done solely because of my young age and the fact I was now old enough to reproduce." Vanna said. "I was traded for three other young women who couldn't reproduce. I think all of them died at the hands of the men who traded me. You have to remember that females weren't even treated like humans. They could call it whatever they wanted but for all practical purposes they SOLD me. I was treated like merchandise or property."

Savannah saw this for what it was. It was slavery. There was no need to hear more. She was well acquainted through her studies on what happened to slaves throughout time. It didn't matter which century it was in. The story was usually the same, especially if the slave was female. She already knew how the story ended. She didn't want Vanna to take herself down a rocky road of shame.

"You don't need to continue." Savannah said. "I can't even imagine how terrible that must have been."

Vanna continued talking. She was lost in the world of the past and wanted to break its hold on her. As long as it remained bottled up, she was still a 'slave' to the actions of others.

"I was told I wouldn't be beaten much and I would be fed once a day if I could produce a child for the family that 'bought' me." Vanna said. "I resisted for the first few weeks, I was beaten and chained to a bed. They stopped feeding me. I was abused several times a day, sometimes it was more. At the start, it was only one male who wanted to produce a child of his own."

Savannah just listened. It was evident Vanna needed to get this off her chest.

"It was clear after two weeks that I would be beaten everyday if I continued to resist. I was chained to a bed and couldn't get away. I told the woman of the house I wouldn't fight any more if they didn't beat me and fed me. I hadn't eaten since my first day in my new captivity. I said I wouldn't participate but l would submit." Vanna said. "I would lay there and let it happen. It actually went much faster that way. That went on for five months. After the third month the man's friends 'tried' too. The abuse went up from a few a day to a few more. They thought maybe he was the problem and some different genetic matter was tried. The woman of the house always stood there and watched to make sure I wasn't severely abused or worse. I think I would have been if she wasn't always standing there to watch me. She tried to protect me as much as possible, even if she was a complacent participant in all of this."

Savannah didn't want to hear any more.

"Stop…." Savannah said. "You don't need to relive this."

Vanna continued the story as if Savannah hadn't even spoken. It appeared that she was so deep in her world of anguish that the voice within her was the only voice that there was.

"The woman of the house would enter my 'room'. It was little more than a closet." Vanna said. "After I was unchained, I was told to roll over on my stomach and get up on my knees. The woman of the house told me 'it' would be over faster this way and the men wouldn't see my face. She said I wouldn't have to SEE them. She also made sure that they used the proper orifice. Strangely enough some of them still attempted to do other things. The woman prevented them from doing that. I was very grateful for that. The men were there to do one thing and leave. They did it, all of them."

Savannah understood but this went on for months on end without stop. The first three months sounded bad enough. Once groups of others were introduced, she could only imagine how it got worse. Somehow it sounded better than being in a Scavenger camp. At least the constant threat of death or worse didn't appear to be there, at least not when they attempted to breed her. Vanna hadn't finished the story yet. Maybe that would change

"How did it stop?" Savannah asked.

Vanna looked very pale at this point.

"The woman of the house freed me." Savannah said. "She gave me some food, water, and clothes. I wasn't allowed to wear clothes for five months. I needed to be ready for 'service' at any time. I was eventually given a dirty blanket after I told them I wouldn't struggle and fight anymore." Vanna said. "It was obvious after my fifth cycle that I couldn't get pregnant. She gave me my clothes back and some supplies. She snuck me out of the house at night. She said she was sorry for what happened and thanked me for trying to 'help' her have a child. I wanted to hate her like I did the others but I couldn't. I could see from the very beginning that it pained her very much to watch what was done to me everyday. I was pretty sure that she cried sometimes too. I wasn't sure why then."

Savannah was a little confused with everything. She wanted to make sure that she got everything that Vanna said straight.

"She thanked you?" Savannah asked.

There was a look of remembered sadness in Vanna's eyes.

"Yes." Vanna said. "She told me I was to be 'marked' as being unable to produce children and 'punished' the next day. It would be clear to all others after that day that my body could only serve one function and that would be for the pleasure of men only."

Savannah really wondered what was wrong with some people. It was all Skynet's fault but people are still the ones who committed the acts. It still fell to the individual. This was all a little confusing to her at this point.

"Punished? How were they going to 'mark' you?" Savannah asked. "Why?"

Vanna looked at Savannah with wide eyes.

"She showed me." Vanna said. "She said she couldn't allow that to happen to another female again if she could prevent it. It was 'punishment' for being sterile."

Savannah could see the pain on Vanna's face.

"Please stop. You don't need to go on." Savannah said.

Vanna finished up and it all went back to Savannah's original question.

"OK. So what would I do if I were you?" Vanna asked. "I want to say, have MY baby and kill anyone who tried to take it from me. But if it was for YOU, if the roles were reversed, I don't know. I would probably do what you've done, even for John and Cameron."

Savannah wanted to know the reason, especially after she'd heard that story.

"Why?" Savannah asked.

Vanna couldn't forget the past - the future.

"For the same reasons you have." Vanna said. "Because I love them, I would want to help 'myself' as you've done. The one thing that must be remembered is Judgment Day. If that happens, few of those that survive will be able to have children and few of those children will live."

Savannah felt there was some hope to that. Maybe it wasn't much but it was still hope.

"We've beat Judgment Day more than once." Savannah said.

Vanna knew that was true. She also knew that all the futures, other than River's future, that some version of Skynet was created and destroyed the world as everyone knew it.

"Will we always be able to?" Vanna asked. "Will we?"

Savannah could only think of all of the different futures that she'd visited or been made aware of and what happened to all the girls from the future.

"I don't know." Savannah said. "I really don't."

For Lying To You

In a house built of glass
I cast not the first stone
For I can honestly confess
I have sins for which I must atone

When the future is really the past
Is what will be still yet to be
Nothing is written in stone
A giant becomes a flea

There comes a time for honesty
Should that be everyday
Can Nobody not lie
I can't really say

Nobody is perfect
I think we can all agree
We are all guilty I can decree
It is more a matter of scope or degree

I've lied about important things
We both know that to be true
So I should apologize
For lying to you

Nobody