"You may see her after I've examined her, Kurt." Hank McCoy sighed. The boy would wear a groove in the floor of the Med Room if he kept this up. "I'll be as quick as possible, I promise you. Now, please, sit down."

Kurt obeyed reluctantly, and the doctor went into Rogue's cube. The glass door slid shut behind him, and he regarded the pale girl seriously as he pulled on gloves.

"It appears you were quite lucky, Rogue," he said, moving to her side with a syringe. "I'm going to take some blood. I want to know exactly what you were drugged with, and how much longer it will be in your system."

She was silent as he drew the blood and labeled it, setting it on a nearby tray.

"It seems Mr. LeBeau did an excellent job applying first aid. I don't think the cut on your head will require stitches, though you'll probably have a small scar."

She shrugged.

"How are you feeling now?" he asked, as he began examining her. He was gentle, but she still hissed in pain when he touched her side.

"That hurts," she said. "My ribcage."

"Yes, I would imagine it does. It appears that you've either bruised the rib or sustained a hairline fracture. There's not much we can do, but you'll need to take it easy for a while. No sims, no missions."

"Ah'm not exactly feeling up to it anyway," she admitted.

"You'll need to be on bed rest for a few days. I'll keep you overnight for observation." He swabbed the cuts with antiseptic. She didn't wince, he noticed. Just stared stoically ahead.

"You know, Kurt is waiting outside. He would very much like to see you."

"Ah cain't understand why," she replied, fingering the edge of the blue examination gown she wore.

He looked at her, sympathetic. "Perhaps because he's concerned. Has the dizziness passed?"

"Yeah, unless ah move too fast."

"Then I would recommend you go slow. How are your headaches?" She knew he wasn't referring to the hangover the drug had given her, but the migraines brought on by clamping down on the personalities she had absorbed. When Apocalypse had drained her in Tibet, he had taken the powers of everyone she had absorbed, but left the psyches, memories and all, intact. Integrating them promised to be a long, difficult process. In the meantime, she kept the personalities from taking over through sheer will.

"Not as bad as Ah'd expect," she said. "Ah don't quite know why. They're coming back, though."

"You've become quite adept at walling the personalities in. It will never be second nature, but over time, it should require less conscious attention. It's also possible that they were…subdued…by the drug you were given."

"Maybe ah should try it again," she said bitterly.

"I wouldn't recommend it, unless you'd prefer to spend most of your life unconscious."
"That doesn't sound so bad," she muttered. Hank turned as he stripped off the gloves.

"Self-pity doesn't become you, Rogue. I'll tell Kurt to come in." The door slid open, and he exited.

A few seconds later, Kurt's fuzzy blue head appeared. "Are you decent?"
"Ah'm dressed," she returned. The light blue gown was long-sleeved, and she pulled the blanket over her legs.

"That's a nice change," he teased.

She flushed. "It wasn't what it looked like," she said uneasily.

He sighed dramatically, then pulled a chair up to the side of the bed. "It never is. Are you feeling better?"

"A little. Dr. McCoy won't give me any painkillers until the drug they gave me is outta mah system."

"So your headaches…"

"They were gone. Now they're back."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's mine." Like always.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment. "So…if the thing at Gambit's wasn't what it looked like, what was it?"

"Temporary insanity?" she offered. "He was really nice, Kurt. Ah don't know why, but he was."

"I know why," he muttered darkly. He had seen the way the man's eyes had roved over his sister. "He's bad news."

"Yeah. But he stepped in and helped me when he coulda' walked away."

"You shouldn't have been there to begin with. Are you that miserable here?"

She shrugged, a gesture she had perfected lately. "Ah just needed to be alone."

Kurt's temper flared. "You've been alone for months now! You think we don't see it? You don't eat with us. You don't train with us unless Logan drags you down to the Danger Room. You spend all day locked in your room or wandering the grounds. When you finally decide to show up, it's like you're a zombie. Quit punishing yourself!"

"Oh, is that what Ah'm doin?" For the briefest instant, her own temper flashed, then vanished as if it had never existed.

"Yeah, it is. And it's getting old. Nobody blames you for Apocalypse. It wasn't your fault."

"Mystique was." She looked at her black-clad hands. They didn't look like they were capable of murder. "Ah've said it before, but Ah know it's not enough. Ah'm sorry. Ah really am. Ah don't know why…" she trailed off.

"Don't you?"

"No. Ah don't. Ah wasn't thinkin'…"

"You usually don't," he said. Suddenly, the anger he had been pushing away bubbled up, nasty and bilious. It wasn't a sensation he was used to. "You don't think – you just do what you want."

She didn't disagree, didn't defend herself, and it only served to infuriate him more. "Ah was just so angry, Kurt. When Ah looked at her – she wasn't mah mother. She was just this…this thing… that kept hurting me. Using me and lying to me and Ah wanted her as far away from me as possible."

"Do you think she didn't hurt me, too? She ran experiments on me, Rogue! I don't know how much of me is real and how much she and Magneto engineered. After all of that, then she abandoned me. But like it or not, she was our mother. That has to count for something."

Rogue shook her head wearily. "Ah'm sorry. Ah don't know what else to say."

"Would you do it again?"

"What?"

"Would you do it again? If we were back on that cliff with her, would you push her off again?"

She sat very still for a long moment. "No," she said finally. "Ah wouldn't."
"Would you bring her back?"

"Kurt…" she pleaded.

"Answer the question, Rogue. Would you bring her back, like I asked you to?"

She hesitated for only a second. "No. Ah wouldn't push her off, Kurt, because Ah'd rather go over that cliff myself than hurt you the way Ah have. But there is no way in hell that Ah'd give her the chance to hurt either of us again."

"I never asked for you to protect me from her."

"No, you didn't."

They fell into silence again. She leaned back against the bed and closed her eyes. She was just so tired.

"Rogue…"

"Yeah."

"You're my sister. That counts, too."

She opened her eyes, turned to him. "Ah don't expect you to forgive me, Kurt."

"I know. That's why I'm working on it." He stood. "Get some rest. Kitty's threatening to come and visit you later."

"Hey." He was too good-hearted, she thought sadly. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he replied, and was gone.

A/N

Another twofer to make up for the late update. Carry on…