Hi guys so I know that I said this was the last chapter of this mini EMISON story, but I started doing it and it's going too long, so this isn't the end yet ^^. Now, in this chapter there will be some time jumps. The 1st scene is in the near future, you will see it again at the ending of this story. Hope you like it and thank you if you've a time to leave a review 😊! Love you, guys! See u soon!
Go Big or Go Home part 8
*** Narrative ***
It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something. But we can't be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they'll never be the same, for better or for worse.
In the airport, she was reading a magazine while she was waiting to be called. Time flew fast and the boarding for her flight started. She has never liked to wait in the line, so she waits till the last minute to get close to the gate…
Ready to board, she tries to step forward, but she freezes in front of the gate when someone yells "I love you…". With a shocking face, she turns around to face the sweaty girl, who is trying to catch her breath after running all over the airport. Face to face, they stare at each other, wondering what will happen next…
We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we're willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we'll find ourselves exactly where we need to be, we will find what we need to say… before it's too late…
Some months earlier…
On the Fields house, there she was, Emily, assembling a table on the room which was destined to be the nursery of her twins…
Emily. - "Thanks for the help, Spencer… "
Spencer. - "Thanks for the distraction… "
They smile at each other and keep putting the table together, Spencer gazes towards the brunette…
Emily frowns. - "Something wrong?"
Spencer shakes her head when she replies. - "No… I was just wondering… "
Emily. - "Wondering what?"
Spencer looks down, no sure if she should ask or not but she is interested to know…
Spencer. - "I was wondering: have you figured out how you & Ali will do this…?"
Emily. - "What do you mean?"
Spencer. - "Come on, Em, we're talking about the babies… "
The brunette takes a deep breath and keeps tightening the fastening bolts. Spencer narrows her eyes on her and Emily would love to avoid this talk but, knowing Spencer, there's no way that will happen…
Emily sighs. - "What do you want to know?"
Spencer. - "Are you going to co-parent?"
Emily shakes her head. - "No…"
Spencer. - "Why not?!"
Emily. - "She doesn't want to be involved and I… I have no right to ask her more than what she's already doing…"
Spencer. - "So, what? She's going to give birth and, act like nothing happened?"
Emily stands up and says while she settles the table next to the crib. - "Spencer, please just drop it… "
Spencer stands up to follow her…
Emily. - "I just asked her to give birth… She doesn't need to do anything else…"
Spencer asks. - "Is that what she wants?"
Emily. – "When she decided to go with the pregnancy, that's what she said…"
Spencer. – "But, that was then and now maybe she changed her mind…"
Emily. – "I don't think so…"
Spencer. – "Have you asked? Em, a lot has happened since then, maybe…"
Emily hardly drops her hands over the table they just put together; sighing deeply 'cause she didn't want to have this conversation, closing her eyes 'cause she doesn't want to think about it and gripping harder and harder on the table 'cause she feels frustrated, so frustrated…
Emily pleads. - "Please Spence, just drop it… "
Spencer. - "NO! Emily, you want… "
Emily violently turns to face her and snaps…
Emily cuts her off. - "I want her to be happy! She deserves to be happy…" (Sad bitter voice) "And she's happy… with Samara… "
Spencer. - "And you? Are you happy?"
Emily tries to smile while she replies. - "I will be a mom… I am as happy as I can get…"
Spencer just sighs, Emily doesn't look completely happy but insisting on the subject will bring them nowhere; Emily is stubborn enough to don't change her mind and, thinking she has no other choice, she decides to go with Alison…
Spencer was clever enough to reach the blonde when she was alone at home…
Alison. - "Spencer? What brings you here?"
Spencer. - "I would like to have a word with you… "
Alison. – "Is this about the 'lost Rosewood' that Mary left us? Because if it's, then there's no need to talk; you can keep them, I don't want anything from her…"
Spencer. – "What? You…"
Alison cuts her off. – "No… I don't want it, so…" (She slowly starts closing her door) "You can go now…"
Standing in the porch of the blonde, the brunette notices a hostile welcome for her but she refuses to leave just like that; before Alison could close the door, Spencer slips inside…
Alison frowns. – "What the h-…?!"
Spencer says while she passes beside her. - "God! You are huge…"
The blonde looks at her big belly and, replies…
Alison huffs. - "Off course I'm huge, I'm carring two little humans!"
Spencer mumbles. - "And you're grumpy too…"
Alison huffs and, narrows her eyes; deciding she's not in the mood to fight, she just starts walking to the living room, the other girl follows her…
Spencer. – "You're walking funny…"
Alison sighs. – "It's hard to walk, my back hurts all the time…"
Spencer. – "Oh… I see…"
Alison slowly sits comfortable on her sofa and says. – "What do you want, Spencer?"
Spencer. – "That's exactly what I wanted to ask you: what do you want…?"
Alison frowns. – "What? I don't follow…"
Spencer sits in the table, in front of Alison and continues interrogating Alison but if her conversation with Emily led nowhere, this one got worse… going completely south… especially when Spencer notices something…
Spencer. – "What is this…?" (She grabs the documents) "Are these flight tickets to South Africa?!"
Alison nods. – "Jason is building schools for kids there, after I give birth, Sam & me, we're planning to go and visit him… maybe even give him a hand since they need some teachers…"
Spencer. – "These are tickets for just one go…"
Alison rolls her eyes…
Spencer narrows her eyes on her and says. – "Are you no coming back…?"
Alison doesn't reply, she just avoids eye-contact…
Spencer says very loud. – "ALISON!"
Alison's swing moods have been worse and worse with the progress of the pregnancy, these days the blonde is hypersensitive, and Spencer couldn't have chosen a worse day to yell at the blonde…
Alison. – "Don't yell at me!"
Spencer. – "You can't leave!"
Alison. – "I can do whatever I want!"
Spencer says angry. – "You're so selfish! Always thinking just in you, without caring on the rest of us…"
Alison yells angry. – "GET OUT! NOW!"
Spencer yells too. – "NO! Ali, you…"
Alison cuts her off. – "You've no business in this, so step back and walk away… just leave me alone…" (she sarcastically says with a bitter voice) "You've done it before, it shouldn't be so hard to do it again… stop pretend you care about me…"
Spencer. – "How dare you to say I don't care?! That we don't care?! We've always done what you want…"
Alison snaps. – "And once again with the same story! Me, the manipulative girl and all of you, the innocent victims…"
Spencer. – "Did you just swallow a full flask of hormones or what?! You're acting irrational!"
Alison. – "With the pregnancy, my hormones are doing crazy things to my body, I'm very moody these days but, that doesn't mean what I say is no true…"
Spencer snaps. – "You can't say we don't care about you! When your life has been on the line, we've been there for you, every step of the way, -A, AD… it meant nothing?!"
Alison. – "It hasn't been every step of the way! You always bail on me, the 1st second you doubt about me!" (Sighs of frustration) "You put me in jail for a murder I didn't commit! And if that wasn't enough, once again, you accused me of murder when you said to AD that I killed Cece! If my life has been on the line, it's because you're always throwing me under the bus!"
Spencer. – "So, what? Is that reason enough to walk away?! To leave and never go back?! You're very selfish! You can't betray us, like that!"
Alison. – "How the hell is, moving on and putting me 1st, betraying you?!"
Spencer. – "Because leaving without planning on coming back, it's not moving on! That's sticking a knife in our gut and twisting it!"
Alison says with a bitter voice. – "Yeah, Spencer, that's…" (She crosses her arms above her chest and says while she narrows her eyes on Spencer) "How does it feel to be in the receiving part, for once?"
Spencer. – "What?! I've no idea of what you're talking about, we…"
Alison cuts her off. – "You left for college, promising we would keep in touch, promising you would come and say 'hi' and I don't know, you, but I really believed it…"
Spencer gulps hard
Alison. – "You left without turning back, why I can't do the same…?"
The blonde stands up of the sofa, angry, she doesn't want to keep discussing, getting mad is not good for the babies, so she tries to walk away from the heated discussion, but Spencer doesn't let her when she grabs her from the arm…
Alison. – "Let me go…"
Spencer. – "No! We haven't finished talking…"
Alison tries to liberate her arm from Spencer's grip, they struggle a little and Alison loses balance and falls to the ground. Spencer's eyes got bigger of shock…
Spencer. – "ALI!"
*** Emily's narrative ***
Fear… a paralyzing feeling… fear to love and being hurt, fear of failure, fear of the dark… I've an endless list of fears but, in the top of my list… the fear of something bad happening to you, it's the most terrifying of all of them…
Since the moment, she received the call, everything felt so unreal; her body moved by itself since her mind was trying to process what was happening; when her brain could finally process the information; she realized she was already, all sweaty, standing in the middle of the ER…
Emily screams with desperation. – "Ali?! ALI?!"
An intern. – "Miss you can't yell in the ER…"
Emily rambles with despair. – "I… she… I…"
Rambling without sense, she tries to catch her breath since she's so exhausted for all the running, she ran so fast; the intern has no idea what she wants but when another girl rushes inside, everything makes more sense…
Samara runs to the information module and asks for Alison; Emily noticed her since the moment she got inside the building and, Emily wonders if she looks as despaired and scared as Samara looks right now…
Emily. – "Samara…"
The blonde counselor turns to face her and the brunette gulps hard looking at the scared blonde… Samara is a complete mess… just like her…
Samara. – "What the hell happened?!"
Emily didn't know the answer of that question but someone else did…
Spencer. – "It's my fault…"
Samara and Emily turns their head towards Spencer and say at the unison, very angry. – "WHAT?!"
If looks could kill…
Spencer takes a deep breath and says with shame. – "I… we had a heated discussion and, she lost balance and fell… everything happened so fast, and… well… we're here…"
Spencer can't stand the angry gazes, so, she looks down. Samara steps forwards, towards Spencer, she was definitely going to say her mind but, she doesn't do it since someone does it before her…
Emily shakes Spencer by the shoulders and says angry. – "What the hell, Spencer?! What did you do?! What did you say to her?! How the hell, she just lost balance and fell?!"
Spencer. – "Em, I…"
Emily cuts her off, angry. – "I swear to God, Spence if something bad happens to her, I'll never, ever forgive you!"
Spencer gulps hard, she felt bad already and, hearing Emily's words, it just made her feel worse. Thankfully, a doctor approached and gave them the good news that it wasn't nothing serious; Alison and the babies looked fine…
Samara. – "So, can she go home?"
The doctor. – "I would prefer she stays, she has a little of hypertension, I would prefer to monitory it since it's no good for the pregnancy…"
Samara nods
Emily asks. – "Can we see her…?"
The doctor nods. – "Sure, but just one person at a time…"
The girls nod, Spencer hasn't the nerve to see Alison right now, so she steps back but, two girls step forwards when just one can go… Samara & Emily look at each other, both of them are eager to see the blonde. Behind them, Pam Fields arrives, she clearly reads the situation and decides to ask…
Pam. – "Samara, could you please let Emily see Alison first?"
Samara turns her head towards Pam and sighs deeply…
Pam pleads. – "Please…?"
Taking another deep breath, the blonde looks at them, she hesitates but she's too noble so, she steps back; she locks her eyes on Emily and says with a serious look…
Samara. – "She has been very moody these days, the hormones have made her very sensitive, so, please, just please don't say something which can make her mad…"
Emily nods without stop…
Samara. – "I'll see her after you… just this time… ok? Don't make her hypertension get higher, don't make her angry or sad…" (Sighs) "Don't make me regret letting you go 1st…"
Emily keeps nodding and mumbles a thank you while she follows the doctor… In silence she walks through the hallways of the hospital; Emily sighs heavy, feeling overwhelmed… the smell of antiseptic… a linoleum floor, cloudy and white… all overlapping with Alison… the brunette doesn't like hospitals, ti brings back bad memories when her Dad died, and Emily would love to never put a foot in a hospital but she's not running away from Alison… no, this time…
They arrive to the room, and, the doctor just take note of what he reads on Alison's monitors and left them alone…
Emily mumbles with a shy voice. – "Ali? Ali, can you hear me…?"
The blonde looks asleep, Emily slowly approaches, she sits beside her and holds Alison's hand. Tears fall from her eyes, Emily can't stop them, she's happy to see Alison but she's still so worried of something bad happening to her, so, she holds Alison's hand between her hands and, softly kisses Alison's hand.
The constant sound of the monitors, the quiet room, sitting beside a hospital bed; the last time she was in a situation like this, it's when her Dad died and remembering that, it brings the worst fears on Emily. In moments like this, she would pray, like her mom taught her but since Wayne Fields died, she has never prayed again, she has never searched any reassurance from her faith neither tried to talk with God… till now…
Emily looks up and says while she holds Alison's hand. – "I believe you're there… I believe in you…" (She gazes towards Alison and says with tears) "Oh, I want to believe…" (She sees Alison and says with determination) "No, I will believe in you, ok?" (She looks up and keeps saying with a heartbreaking voice and tears on her eyes) "I'll do whatever you want… I'll do anything! Just protect her… ok?"
The brunette grips harder on Alison's hand and with so noisy sobs, the blonde wakes up but, Emily hasn't noticed it…
Emily. – "If you exist, please, don't take her away too… don't let anything bad happen to her; don't take Alison, please! Please!"
Alison wildly opens her eyes and gulps hard looking at the crushed brunette…
Emily keeps sobbing and talking with God. – "If you ask me what I'm afraid of… it's this: she, in pain, she, getting hurt… something bad happening to Ali, it's my worst fear…" (tears) "She's my world, nothing bad can happen to her…" (She completely loses it when she cries) "I can't live in a world without Alison in it!"
The brunette burst in tears, she buries her face against Alison's bed and, she feels so despaired, so lost, so crushed until someone hugs her and says to her…
Alison. – "Em, calm down, I'm ok…"
Emily looks up, her make-up is a complete mess, but it doesn't matter; the only that matter is that she can see those blue eyes once again…
Emily mumbles. – "Ali? Ali… ALI!"
The brunette hugs the blonde, very, very tight, and Alison just let her…
Alison says with a soft voice while she rubs Emily's back. – "It's ok, Em, I'm ok… the babies and me, we're ok…"
The blonde reassures her that everything is going to be ok and, for a moment all her worries, all her fears, all her sorrow, it just disappeared. Emily believed in it, more than anything, she believed in Alison's words and, Emily wildly open her eyes, realizing she believes in Alison's words… she believes in the blonde, more than anything else in the world…
*** Emily's narrative ***
Emotions are never black & white, they're more like symptoms. You lose your breath every time you see her… your heart beats faster when she's closed to you… your skin tingles when you stand close enough to feel her breath… yeah, you feel the symptoms, you know the name of your illness and yet… yet you do nothing about it…
Sitting on the kissing rock, a drunk girl drinks what it's her 12th beer of the night; the bottle is empty… she tries to reach a new one and badly falls from the rock and hits the ground; looking up what its beside her, she chuckles with sadness while she stares at the initials engraved on that rock. The drunk girl maps the initials with her fingertips and, she bursts in tear, leaning her head against that rock…
Emily drunk cries. – "Despite everything… despite all the lies, all the pain… I believed in your words… I believe in your words…"
Someone approaches…
Hanna sighs. – "Thank God! I finally found you! You got us worried, we've been looking for you for hours!" (She looks at all the empty bottles around the girl and asks) "Did you drink all of this by yourself?!" (She looks at the crying girl and says with concern) "EM! What is wrong?"
Rushing towards the crying drunk brunette; Hanna sits beside her and, immediately, Emily hugs her by the neck, burring her head on Hanna while she keeps lamenting…
Hanna rubs Emily's arm. – "Hey, hey, hey, what is wrong, Em? Talk with me…"
Emily sobs. – "It's 'despite', Hann! It's despite everything…!"
Hanna frowns. – "Em, I don't get what you're trying to say…"
Emily pulls away and their eyes meet; with her hands, Hanna tries to clear Emily's tears, but they keep coming…
Hanna sighs. – "Em…"
Emily sobs. – "It's too late, isn't? I realized about it too late, isn't?!"
Hanna. – "Em, I've no idea of what you're talking…"
Emily quivers her lips down and once again, she bursts in tears while Hanna stays at her side and hugs her…
*** Emily's narrative ***
Have you ever thought about how many things in our lives are all about timing? Winning a race, getting 1st in line… Timing dictates so much about our environment, about our life, about us… timing is everything… so, what if your timing was off? Would it change things? A little? A lot? Would you give up, knowing it's too late? Would you really give up if timing was off?
The knock of the door wakes her up and she jumps from the chair, surprised. She turns her head and she frowns…
Samara. – "Emily…?"
The brunette shyly smiles and looking at the sleeping beauty, she asks…
Emily. – "How is she?"
Samara looks at the sleeping blonde who's even snoring, and she chuckles with happiness while she replies…
Samara. – "She's fine, the babies are fine, the doctor said I can bring her home tomorrow…"
Emily smiles. – "That's good…" (She looks down and playing with her fingers she says with a shy voice) "I… can I've a word with you, please?"
Samara nods. – "Yeah, sure…" (She puts her blanket over Alison and softly kisses Alison's front-head when she says) "I'll be back in a second, ok…?"
The blonde doesn't reply, she's deeply asleep, but feeling the soft kiss, Alison smiles under her sleep. They get outside the hospital for a little walk; they walk in silence till one of them starts talking…
Emily. – "You know what sucks? Realizing everything you believed is a completely bullshit…." (Sad chuckle) "It really sucks…"
Samara. – "What do you mean?"
Emily. – "You know… destiny and soulmates… true love and all of that childhood fairy tale… It's nonsense…"
Samara frowns. – "What are you talking about…?"
Emily. – "If I believed in destiny, in fairy tales… then, you would be the charming princess in the story… the one that destiny put in Ali's path…"
Samara frowns. – "I don't understand what you're trying to say here, Emily…"
Emily. – "You're the better choice, it'd be a mistake to see it any other way; you make her smile, you make her feel better about herself, you're good with her… you're obviously the one she deserves because she deserves the best but…"
Samara. – "But…?"
The brunette steps forwards and they keep talking, standing face to face…
Emily. – "But you don't need her like I do…"
Samara. – "What?!"
Emily. – "I just I-I'm in a lot of pain here; I'm really suffering because I love her… I really, really love her…"
For Samara, it wasn't a surprise to hear this, but she definitely didn't look happy either…
Emily continues. – "And I know I haven't always been one to put myself out there and fight for what I want…" (Deep breath and a step forwards) "But, I'm doing it now because despite our messy story, our painful moments… despite all her defects, all her lies, all her mistakes… I love her… I realize I always knew that, but it, it scared me…" (Sad sigh) "I wasn't ready for it…" (She says with determination) "But I'm ready now…"
Samara's body tenses and says. – "I'm her girlfriend… she's my girlfriend…"
Emily nods. – "I know… I get it… I know it, which is why this is probably not cool of me, but I don't care… I love her, I'm sure about it now and, I'll fight for her… I'll do my best to win her back… because I need her…"
Samara. – "Why you're telling me this?"
Emily. – "When you started having feeling for Ali, you told me about it, looking at me into the eyes; I thought I should do the same…"
Samara gulps and Emily stands in front of her with determination while she says…
Emily. – "You asked me before, what I want, and I didn't know how to answer it back then, but now I know… I want Ali at my side, I want her love and I'll go after it like a shark… I'll no apologize, I'll no worry about what anybody else think… for the 1st time in my life, I'll stay true to myself and to my feelings… I'm fighting for her love and I'll not stop till I've it…"
You can't just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Love is not a fairy tale, love is messy, painful but, even if it hurts like hell, you should never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about; and these two girls, they'll care enough to fight for the Queen Bee to the end. Who will win? That's a question just one blonde can answer…