Hi guys, I realized that with this story I made some of you fall for Samara, and I'm happy for that, thank you very much! Emily… Samara… I'll no spoiler the ending; I'll just say, for me, the ending will be what I planned from the beginning & I hope you like it…
Have a great day and thank you if you've the time to leave a review. See U soon! Next one will be the ending of this mini story, hope you like it ^^
Go Big or Go Home – part 9
*** Emily's narrative ***
I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so you can fix them…
In the hospital room, there, she was, Alison, in complete silence, with the eyes wild open while someone was exposing its heart…
Emily. – "Ali… I came here today because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…" (She holds Alison's hands and says while she looks at her into the eyes) "Ali, I… I can't live without you… I…"
Alison sighs hard, she avoids eye-contact and takes her hands away from Emily. The brunette presses her lips together and closes her fists, she can see that Alison is not comfortable with this conversation, but, she can't turn back, now…
Emily. – "Tell me you don't love me…"
Alison suddenly spins her head towards the brunette and, looks at Emily into the eyes. – "What?!"
Emily. – "Tell me you don't love me, tell me you don't feel anything for me, and I'll stop chasing you…"
Alison gasps, not really sure how to reply, because one of part of her feels like she'll always love Emily but even then; she can't find herself saying 'I love you'… frustrating isn't it? How is possible to have grey zones in the heart? But, to be honest, the blonde can't really make a statement and, when her lips get sealed with a kiss… well... it doesn't help either...
Alison blushes. – "Wh….?!"
Emily softly presses her lips against the soft lips of the blonde and the brunette brightly smiles with that tender kiss but, looking at the blonde, Alison is completely pale like if she has seen a ghost or worse… this is too much for the blonde… too much to handle right now, this wasn't supposed to happen, this complicate everything! Everything! Even breathing...
Emily. – "Ali…? Are you ok…?"
The blonde starts having issues to breathe; she was having a panic attack and the monitors go crazy, which makes Emily go crazy worry too…
Emily. – "Ali!" (She rushes outside and yells) "A doctor, please!"
*** Samara's narrative ***
There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may see crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.
She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think with clarity and she faded. Everything felt so wrong, so frustrating wrong till she opens her eyes again…
Samara smiles and caresses Alison's face. – "Hey, sleepy head…"
How is possible that all the stress, all the worries get erased with just one smile? Alison asks herself that question while she smiles too…
Alison. - "Hi."
They smile each other and Alison's breathing comes normal, once again, she can breathe...
Samara. – "You got us worried a moment ago… are you feeling ok?"
Alison smiles and says while she leans towards Samara and, hugs her. – "I'm feeling better now… thanks to you…"
Samara smiles and happily hugs her too. They keep the hug for a long, very long moment till…
Samara. – "We need to talk…"
Panic invades, once again, Alison's body and, the other blonde notices it…
Alison's mind. – "Did Emily tell her about the kiss? Is she going to leave me? Is she mad? Am I gonna lose her…? I…"
Samara caresses Alison's cheek. – "Ali, relax, nothing bad will happen, okay?"
Alison gulps hard, her eyes don't stop to moving with fear so,Samara softly holds Alison's hands and with her thumbs, she makes little circles over Alison's hands, in order to calm Alison down... and it works…
Alison looks at their hands and feeling ashamed, she says. – "I… I…"
Samara. – "I know Emily kissed you…"
Alison looks at her into the eyes and, wildly open her eyes in shock when she hears Samara's words; Panic is reflected in Alison's eyes and, Samara sees it so, she softly caresses Alison's cheek while she says…
Samara chuckles with sadness. – "I should be mad at you, for kissing your ex, but look at this pretty face… how can anyone get mad at you…?"
Alison chuckles and blushes; she turns her head to the right avoiding eye-contact…
Alison mumbles. – "She's not my Ex… Emily is not my Ex…"
Samara. – "You're right, she's not… it's worse, she's an oat you never figured out and I…" (Deep breath) "I think you need to try that oat…"
Alison looks at her into the eyes and says in shock. – "WHAT?!" (She shakes her head with watery-eyes) "No, Sam! I want you! I don't want to lose you! I…"
Samara holds Alison's head in her hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss. Their lips brush against each other. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding more and more... Samara tried to pull away before losing herself in that kiss but, Alison didn't let her; each time that Samara tried to pulls away, Alison dragged her back to her lips…In this minty moment, Samara's senses have been seduced and she can no longer think straight. "Alison" she whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. And, Alison smiles, Alison's heart is fluttering at her voice. Never before has her name ever felt so wonderful a one…
Needing air to breathe, they pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Samara leans in, so her forehead rests against Alison's. They close their eyes. Both their breaths are shaking...
Samara says in barely more than a whisper. - "Thank you"
Alison replies, her voice low and husky. - "For what?"
Samara's voice wavers, exhilarated from the passionate kiss they had between them. - "For being you."
Alison holds Samara's hand against her chest, she closes harder her eyes while she tries to don't cry but, a tear finds its way and rolls over her cheek...
Samara says while she removes the tear with her thumb. - "Don't cry..."
Alison. - "I can't avoid it, this is the 1st time someone thanks me for being me... just me..."
Without words, Samara kisses Alison's front-head and says. – "You know how they say we only use ten percent of our brains? I think we only use ten percent of our hearts and that's wrong… we should use more our hearts than our brains…"
Alison. – "Sam, I…"
Samara cuts her off. – "I love you Ali… I fell for you like I have never done it before for anyone. And, you see me like this perfect girl, you put me in this pedestal, but I'm not perfect, I make mistakes…" (She rambles with sadness) "Maybe this one, It's a mistake but…" (She says to Alison) "Ali… I believe you need to figure out if Emily is the one for you…"
Alison shakes her head with tears. – "No…"
Samara pleads. – "Ali, please, listen to me…"
Alison shakes her head and pouts angry. – "NO!"
Samara pleads with watery-eyes. – "Ali! Please!"
They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Sam's full of wonder and love, Alison's full of fear and love...
Alison mumbles. – "Sam, I… I can't…"
Samara. – "What are you so afraid of…?"
Alison. – "Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of letting you walk out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you…"
Samara smiles with Alison's words… this is hard, this is really hard for her but, she's determinated to step back and let Alison finds her happiness...
*** Samara's narrative ***
It's very hard to let someone go; it gets more painful when you two know you're right for each other but, that doesn't exactly mean you're right for each other right now... I've never put real faith in 'if you love someone then, let it free crap'... but, I'm determinate to see her happy in this life and, I love her... I mean, I'll always love her but, our timing looks never right...
Samara. – "Ali, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. And you, my darling, you're so loved…" (Their front-head rest against each other) "Ali, I love you, I'm noy walking away, I'm not ditching you or leaving you… I'm telling you, you're free to explore your feelings, your emotions…"
Alison. – "Sam… I…"
Samara. – "There's nothing worse than not knowing and you, you need to figure out what you want… who you want…"
Alison sighs deeply…
Samara. – "It doesn't matter if the person is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other..." (Sighs) "All I desire is your happiness. You're better than what you think and, you deserve better, you deserive happiness & love...you deserve be happy with the perfect match for you…"
Alison mumbles. – "Even if that's not you…?"
Samara chuckles with a sad voice. – "Even if at the end, your choice is not me; yeah Ali, you've to find out who's your true happiness; don't stay with someone you can live with, stay with the person who you cannot live without..."
Alison takes a deep breath and, looks down at her lap. Samara kisses her front-head and says while she gets ready to leave…
Samara. – "Take all the time you need, do whatever you need… just promise me something…"
Alison. – "What? What do you want me to promise you?"
Samara. – "Promise me you will don't let what anyone wants eclipse what you need. Any girl can appear very dreamy but, no one is the sun, you're… you're your sun… you're too good, too smart to be eclipsed by anyone else… so no matter what, promise me, you'll always put yourself first… ok?"
Alison nods. – "Ok…"
They hug and under the hug, the blonde says…
Alison. - "Thank you."
Samara. - "For what?"
Alison. - "For being my friend, for understanding me better than anyone else, for trusthing me and for believing in me like no one else has done it before..."
Samara. – "I wish I could make you see you through my eyes... see this girl, this woman who has more heart and intelligence and beauty and grace then anyone else who's walking the face of the planet..."
Alison blushes, a smile appears in her face and, when she feels that Samara pulls away, she grabs Samara's hand; stopping her to leave...
Samara sighs. - "Ali..."
Alison. - "Stay 5mn..."
They stare at each other into the eyes, they know this is a good-bye for now, but Alison's not ready to let her go...
Alison pleads. - "Just 5 mn..."
Samara takes a deep breath and nods; she sits in the chair which is beside Alison's bed and, Alison holds her hand till she falls asleep. Alison falls asleep and Samara stays there, just looking at her...
*** Samara's narrative ***
You know you love someone when you can spend the entire day, just sitting by her side; seeing her sleep...
Some days later...
(In the Fields house)
Emily happily opens the door and rushes inside her house with the baggage…
Emily smiles. – "I'm so happy you decided to stay here, with us…"
Alison replies. – "I'm just staying till I give birth, ok? You said you wanted to be more involved so…"
Emily smiles a lot, even if Alison says this is temporary, for her, this is a chance to make it permanent. The brunette is glowing with hope of what can come with this…
Alison. – "Where is your mom?"
Emily. – "This week-end, she's in Texas, visiting the family; she will be back next week…"
Alison. – "Is she ok, with me here?"
Emily. – "Off course! She's so happy, I'm so happy… we're really happy of having you here, with us…"
Alison takes a deep breath and walks inside the house she knows very well but, even then, she feels so unfamiliar with it. Emily do all the work for the accommodations; they install Alison in the guest room; Emily would love to share the same room with Alison, but, she decides to don't push too much and give the blonde a little of space. Alison sits on the unfamiliar bed, she's touching the sheets when she realizes someone's standing under the door frame…
Emily. – "Are you hungry?"
Alison mumbles while she rubs her big belly. – "I'm always hungry…"
Both girl chuckle and, Emily says while she walks away…
Emily. – "Is ok if I cook chicken…?"
Alison raises an eye brow. – "You cook?"
Emily chuckles. – "Just chicken… it's a family's recipe…"
Alison looks no confident of Emily's skills…
Emily reassures her. – "I'll not poison you, ok?"
Alison teases. – "I hope not, I just got out of the hospital, I really don't want to go back…"
Both girl laugh and, Emily just go to the kitchen to cook dinner for them.
*** Emily's narrative ***
Failure is inevitable, unavoidable but failure should never get the last word. You've to hold on to what you want. You have to hold on to what you want. You have to not take no for an answer and take what's coming to you. Never give in, never give up. Stand up. Stand up and take it…
Intrigued by seeing how Emily cooks; Alison spies on her; Alison chuckles since the brunette is too clumsy in the kitchen…
Alison. – "Do you need help?"
Emily. – "Huh?" (She drops all the casseroles) "Damn it…"
Alison chuckles and says while she steps in. – "Let me give you a hand…"
The brunette wants to protest but, the blonde takes the lead in the kitchen and to be honest; Emily loves it. Cutting vegetables, handing the ingredients over to each other in perfect synchrony; Emily can't stop imaging if this is how would be if they stay together…
Alison. – "Ok, done! Now we just need to wait for the chicken to be cooked in the oven…"
Emily smiles; it smells really good and, when the chicken is ready, it tastes even better of what Emily remembers; the brunette can't stop wondering if the good taste of this meal is due to the fact they did it together…
Alison. – "This dinner was really good, thank you…"
Emily holds Alison's right hand and says. – "No, thank you… thank you for being here…"
Alison blushes and she shyly pulls back her hand, puting her hands on her lap.
Emily. – "Ali…?"
Alison looks down and plays with her fingers…
Emily. – "Can you look at me, please… Ali…?"
It takes her a moment to be brave enough to look up, and when she does it, she gulps hard when she sees those brown eyes, looking at her with so much eager of something more…
Emily. – "I love you Ali… I always have… I will always love you. I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. I love you, and I think that you love me too. Do you?"
Alison spaces out...
Emily. - "Do you love me, Ali?"
Alison looks down and, takes a deep breath while she says. – "I… I don't know…"
Emily mumbles with sadness. – "Am I an idiot for thinking we can work this out together?"
The brunette's heart is pending in the cliff and before falling to the depth of desolation; Alison holds Emily's hands and, a tiny spark of hope appears in Emily's heart...
Alison. – "I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you; you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite all of that, I like you, very much. Just as you are…"
Emily smiles and blushes...
Alison. – "I like you Em, you're the 1st person I ever kissed and really made me feel something, and I would love to say to you: I want you to be my last but…" (Deep sighs) "I don't know with who I want to spend the rest of my life…"
Emily. – "I know it's all been awful, and I've been awful many times but…." (She smiles with tears in her eyes) "I love you…"
Alison gulps hard
Emily. – "And I know I'm late… I know I can't promise everything will be perfect, that I'll never doubt you, that I'll never feel insecure and, hurt you but… I love you and I can't lose you…" (She pleads with a heart wrenching voice) "So, please, give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you."
Alison. – "Em…"
Emily. – "I can do better… I'll do better…"
Alison runs a hand through her hair, she doesn't know what to answer…
Emily. – "You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me. I love you and I need you…" (She holds Alison's hand) "I love you and I'm not going to stop loving you, Ali… I can't live without you, I don't want to live without you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it… just give me a chance ok?"
Alison sighs hard, she doesn't know what to say, so she just nods and forces a smile into her lips...
*** Alison's narrative ***
Love... for me, love isn't like a new song, but like opening a book and finding a language you'd never seen before. Love, you're something beautiful; meeting you is like meeting an enigma. I don't know how you exist in this world yet you do. So let me tell you now dear love, you are the trap I've been wanting to fall into my whole life; liberty from you would simply be an infinite prison. I am the softness you seek and you are the cradle for my head and heart. dI love you 'Love'. That means I would defend you with my life even if the odds are insurmountable but, the problem is not loving you or having you, the problem is with whom I've to link you... who I'm supposed to love...?
Some weeks after...
(In Rosewood school, during the ball)
Alison wasn't sure to go but, the class needed a chaperone so, here she's, with a big belly, watching the kids in their formal ball...
Emily. - "The earrings that I bought you look really good in you..."
Alison doesn't make a comment about it, she just forces a smile into her lips since the only reason, she's wearing them, is because it's a gift from Emily. It has become an habit that each time they get into an argument, Emily rushes and buys something to make it better. And, with the swin moods of the pregnancy, Alison has been very moody and Emily snaps fast each time that Alison is in a bad mood. Then for, Emily has spent more money in jewellery the past few weeks than she has ever done in her life. Alison has told her to don't buy her things, but the brunette doesn't listen and each time they fight about something; Emily appears the next day with a gift and, Alison just sighs hard and accepts it, even if she doesn't like it...
Emily asks. - "Do you want to dance...?"
Alison shakes her head, pats her belly and says. - "I can barely move so..."
Emily looks down. - "Oh..."
The swim team asks Emily to join them into the dance floor; the brunette hesitates but, Alison tells her to go so, the brunette stands up, leaving a moody pregnant blonde alone in the table. The blonde was counting the minutes to leave, she was eager to leave since she wasn't in the mood of being around teenagers but, when someone touches her shoulder and she sees who's this person; she's no longer eager to leave...
Alison mumbles with a smile. - "Sam..."
Samara smiles. - ""There's something I've been wanting to ask all night: would you like to dance with me?"
Alison nods and says without hesitation. - "Yes"
Samara smiles and with a lot of tenderness, she helps Alison to stand up; they don't go the core of the dance floor, Samara doesn't want Alison to get pressed between the crowd, so, they start dancing just beside their table, far away from the dance floor, very far from the rest of the world...
Samara says while the're dancing. - "How come this feels so right?"
Alison sadly smiles. - "I think it's one of those dances..."
They both sadly chuckle and, keep dancing in silence till Samara notices the earrings that Alison is wearing...
Samara touches the earring and says. - "When did you get those? They are not you..."
Alison. - "Why you say that?"
Samara. - "You prefer argent above gold... you don't like big jewellery; you like simple, small but..."
They say at the unison. - "But sophisticated..."
Their eyes meet and they smile to each other, realizing they know each other so well, they can finish their sentence...
Samara. - "This remind me, I... I've something for you... I wanted to give it to you on your birthday last week but, I coudln't afford it till now..."
Alison frowns confused for what Samara was going to give her but, when she sees Samara getting an argent bracelet from her purse, the blonde English teacher just gasps, surprised...
Alison mumbles. - "It's my mom's bracelet, the one that..."
Samara. - "The one that was in the pawnshop..."
Alison looks at her and Samara blushes with such intense gaze from Alison...
Samara says while she puts it on Alison's wrist. - "6 months ago, we were walking on the big avenue, we were walking around since you weren't sure if you wanted sushi or italian for dinner... you were wearing this new dress you brought online..." (She chuckles under the memory of that day) "It was blue with flowers, it fit you perfectly and, you looked so beautiful that day..."
Alison mumbles. - "You remember what I wore that day...?"
Samara. - "I even remember what perfum you were wearing; 'J'adore' of Dior..."
Alison blushes, she can't believe that Samara recalls each detail about their time together so well...
Samara. - "Well, like I was saying, we past in front this pawnshop and, you stopped for a second, you stared at the window and told me 'look Sam, that's my mom's bracelet which I had to sell because Archer took all my money',..."
Alison. - "So you bought it for me...?"
Samara. - "You looked so sad that day, I could see that the bracelet meant something for you so..." (She touches Alison's wrist with the bracelet on it and says) "So, I just thought that you should have it back..."
Alison. - "That was 6 months ago... I can't believe you remember that..."
Their eyes meet...
Samara. - "I remember everything..." (She holds Alison's hand on hers and says while she leans her front-head to rest on Alison's front-head) "I remember everything about you..."
Alison closes her eyes, a tear slips from her eyes while they keep dancing in silence. Alison gently leans her head on Samara's shoulder and kisses Sam's warm shoulder. Samara just presses her lips together, a tear falls too from her eyes, unable to contain how Alison makes her feel. They keep slow dancing in silence. Alison's hands work their way around Samara's body, feeling eager to touch each line along her perfect figure and, Sam's hands venture over Alison's curved body, exploring. The song ends and they slowly pull apart. They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. Sam's full of tenderness and love, Alison's full of wonder and love. No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated, a story that anyone can see, anyone...
Emily mumbles while she sees them into the distance. - "Ali.."
(In the Fields house at night)
After the ball, they go back home, the drive home was very quiet. Once in home; Alison was ready to get in bed when someone knocks her door...
Emily asks. - "Can I come in?"
Alison nods. - "Yeah, sure..."
The blonde was sitting on her bed and taking off the earrings when Emily notices the bracelet she's wearing...
Emily mumbles. - "You weren't wearing that before..."
Alison replies. - "No, I wasn't..."
Emily tries to don't get angry or say something which could trigger another argument but, she can't deny she's hurt by how happy Alison looks when she sees the bracelet...
Emily says with a bitter voice. - "You didn't want to dance but, you danced with Samara...?"
Alison rolls her eyes. - "Emily, please, let's no fight, I really don't want to fight with you again today..."
Emily snaps. - "I don't want to fight either but, you can't expect me to look happy for what I just saw tonight!"
Alison. - "And, what did you see?!"
Emily gulps hard, she says with a sad voice. - "I saw the way you looked at her, tonight..."
Alison sighs hard, she has no words to say and, when she sees the brunette, kneeling on one knee, she gets even more speachless of what she was already...
Alison mumbles with shock. - "What are you doing...?!"
Emily. - "I've been with lots of girls but, I was never trully happy, I never understood why till now..." (She holds Alison's hands and says while they stare at each other into the eyes) "I could never be trully happy since my heart never left this town... it never left you..."
Alison gulps
Emily. - "Ali, I love you... I knew it from the 1st moment you kissed me and maybe, even before that... and, the thing is that I don't want to deny it anymore..."
The brunette gets a ring from her pocket and Alison gasps... surprised...
Emily. - "This love's so moving... mostly running... don't ask me to give up because I can't... I can't give up in my forever... I'm supposed to be with you... I always knew it..."
Alison mumbles. - "Emily, I..."
Emily. - "This is my grandma's ring..."
Alison shakes her head. - "Emily... I..."
Emily. - "We fight, and I may don't know what really is happening in your head most of the time but, you need to know I'm serious about us, I'm all in. I'm not going anywhere without you... my future lies with you... I know it, everytime I see you. I just hope, you'll see it too..."
Alison sighs. - "Em... I..."
Emily says with the ring on her hands. - "Marry me... choose me, Ali... choose us..."
Alison gasps surprised, she looks at the brunette, at her 1st love, kneeling on one knee with a ring on her hands and, Alison wavers her eyes between the ring and the bracelet she has in her wrist; the blonde wavers since she doesn't know what to say... who to choose... who to love...
*** Alison's narrative ***
I believe in the kind of love that doesn't demand me to prove my worth and sit in anxiety. I crave a natural connection, where my soul is able to recognize a feeling of home in another. Something free-flowing, something simple. Something that allows me to be me without question… that's love for me… and for you? What is love for you? If you were me, who you would choose?