Well, here's yet another post! I can't believe I even wrote this, but my dearest girlfriend thought it was cute, so I'm posting it! This poem came from a night without enough sleep. I blurted out the first two lines, and my girlfriend cried out, "I know you didn't just say that!" So, of course, I had to write it down!!

Ranma and the Gang belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Any statement to the contrary will be dealt with courtesy of Ucchan's Big-ass Spatula.

Santa 1/2
or
Nerima Before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas, and in Nerima, Japan-da,
All the martial arts fighting was quite out of hand-a.1

Ryouga Hibiki hoisted his umbrella
To cause it to crash down on some unlucky fella.

And Ranma Soatome was that fella's name
He dodged the umbrella and yelled in exclaim:

"Yo, P-Chan, what's wrong? Are you lost, old friend?
Or are you planning on trying to beat me again?"

"Shut up!" yelled the lost one, "and now, listen well!
Because of you, Ranma, I've been through Hell!"

Akane stormed out, because of the clatter,
She took a deep breath, and yelled out, "WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?

WHY are you fighting?!? Why can't you just talk-a?!?"2
And when they wouldn't listen, screamed "RANMA NO BAKA!"

Her dainty fist clenched, she shone with blue aura,
And Ranma Soatome flew skyward once more-a!

He plummeted downward, leading with his head,
And then in the pond, his hair turned bright red!

"What'd you do that for?!?" she yelled, exasperated,
Annoyed that her chest had once more inflated.

Then in Kuno crashed, bokken by his side,
He ran toward 'his' maiden's, his arms open wide,

"Akane Tendo!" he shouted, "Osage no Onna!"
But Ranma and Akane both struck out as one-a.3

And as he was vaulted high up in the air,
Mousse, Ukyou and Shampoo flew down toward the pair!

The battle was waged deep into that night
Until a large shadow cut off most the light.

There, looking barely in control of himself,
Dressed all in red, was one pissed off old elf!

"That's IT!" Santa shouted, "I've had quite ENOUGH!"
He forced himself calmer, then said with a huff,

"My children, it's Christmas, c'mon now, be pleasant!"
Then red faced he shouted, "I'LL TAKE BACK ALL THOSE PRESENTS!"

At this they all stopped in mid strike or kick,
And the rest of the cast, spying, came out looking sick.

But Santa just smiled and shooed them away,
"Go to sleep now, I'm busy, to bed, I must say!"4

"On Akane, On Ranma, On Ryouga Hibiki!
On Ukyou, On Shampoo, On Mousse and Nabiki!

To bed with Kasumi, Soun, Panda and all!
I'll deliver your presents, and then, duty calls!"

He ducked into the house, but made one bad mistake!
He ate a nice cookie... which Akane had baked!

He lay on the lawn streaming tears from the eyes,
And Kasumi was heard to utter, "Oh my!"

The rest of the cast pondered who'd finish his run,
When Ryouga, the lost boy, said, "I'll be the one!"

The whole cast face faulted, (Quite a funny sight!)
And shouted that he'd be lost before light!

They decided on Ranma, by seeming default,
Even though he had cried out, "It's all Akane's fault!"

The rest then decided, in pure Rumic flurry,
To go along with him, but he'd left in a hurry!

And with him, to help out, and pay for her crimes,
He'd brought along Akane, hoping to help pass some time.

So if violent fighting disturbs your Christmas rest,
It's just Ranma and Akane doing what they do best!

(1) HA!! I bet you thought I was gonna make some kind of lame Panda joke, huh?

(2) Talk-a?

(3) There has GOT to be a better way to rhyme this!!

(4) One joke about Ed Grimley, and POW!!