First of all, a big thank you to both my reviewers! That's right, all two of them!

Legato and the Computer

Chapter 2: Legato Discovers Fanficiton

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So, finally, Legato had managed to (re)install the computer, and was now surfing the internet. "Hmm... I need to give it a name..." he thought.

"Nyao."

"Noo..."Legato muttered to Kuroneko. " You don't name a computer 'Nyao...' hmm... what should I name it? Errm... OOH! I GOT IT!" he shouted suddenly, "I'll name it Hot Dog!"

"Nyao..."

Click. Click. Click. "Ugh. This is so boring."

For fun, Legato decided to google his name. One of the links led to a certain website... (A/N:sounds...familiar?)

Legato typed his first name into the site's search engine, and clicked on the first link that came up.

"(insert funny title here)! This is HILARIOUS!(insert funny description here)!"

Grinning as he finished the story, he clicked 'back' on the browser and began to read the next one, not noticing the rating. (1)

"OMIGAWD!" thud.

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Once more, Knives made the journey from his room to Legato's. This time, he found his golden-eyed assistant half-concious, sprawled out on the floor. (gotta love those compound-complex sentences! (2)) Knives walked up to him and... poked him. (yup.)

"Legato?" poke. "Lega-aato...?" poke. "Legato, I have hot-dogs!" No response. "Man, he's really out of it..." the plant frowned.

Knives sat down on legato to think, unaware that he was squishing the breath out of the human(3). After a few seconds, he heard a funny squeak, a bit like air being let out of a balloon.

"Wha'? Who's there?" he shouted, jumping up. Not seeing and/or hearing anything, he sat down again. Well, it was more like plopping down, as one would do with a sofa.

On Legato.

Now, although said maniac was still out of it, his subconscious was busy being very thankful for the restored flow of oxygen. Then, whap! Knives crushed him again.

Legato, who was now wide awake and thoroughly winded, managed to gasp, "Can't...breathe...get...off...me...!"

5 minutes and several lengthly apologies later (which Legato insisted were completely unneeded) , the two finally touched upon the subject of why Legato had fainted.

"So Legato, why did you faint?" Knives asked.

Hand trembling, Legato pointed to the computer, which was now playing it's screensaver. "Read. The. Window." he whispered.

Knives began reading, but after a while, he turned to Legato with a grin that could only be described as 'creepy.' (00 poor Legato)

"Legato, what do you think of this stuff?"

"Stuff?"

"Yaoi stuff."

The other pantomimed gagging, retching, and passing out.

"Oh..." Knives said, sounding a bit disappointed. "Are you sure?"

Legato immediately sprang up from his 'fainting' position, looking shocked. "What!"

"Are you sure? Knives repeated, " 'cause if you change your mind..."

Legato screamed like a little girl and ran out the door. Well, at least he almost did. Not knowing it was closed, he ran smack into it. (Ouch.) Unfortunately for Legato-and the door- in his animalistic fear, he hadn't quite realized it was not in the 'open' position and continued ramming into it, causing a fair number of Legato-shaped dents.

All of a sudden, a horrible, fangirlish---wait, that means exactly the same thing... anyways, a fangirlish idea hit Knives.

"Ouch." (4)

Biting back a laugh, he called to his servant in a mock-dreamy voice, "Oh, Legatooo, you have such pretty eyes; they're like two saffrons..."

Legato shrieked and began slamming himself into the door with renewed force. Knives giggled.

Now, something's gotta give here. Clarification: Legato... or the door. Anyone who ad been observing the former would have noticed that his strength was rapidly decreasing. After a few minutes, Knives' right-hand man made one more attempt to knock down the door (it was more like walking into it) and collapsed to the floor, utterly exhausted.

The door chose that moment to fall down. With a loud whump, it toppled out into the hallway. Knives shrugged, and, carefully picking his way around Legato, returned to his room.

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Well, chapter two's done! I hope you like it!

Notes:

(1) We'd be assuming it's rated R.

(2) My English teacher was making a REALLY big deal about these last year, so I decided to bug all of you with them.

(3) Because Knives is a plant.

(4) "The mad literalist strikes again!" ---Jason, Foxtrot (5)

(5) How can you not understand that?