The little ballerinas seated at the large table were giggling as they handed the trinkets to each other. Their hands were full of shiny costume jewelry, and brightly colored ribbons. Some of them were lucky enough to have a new dress for opening night. The descriptions of each other's dresses enchanted the older girls, and they squealed with delight whenever a choice bit of fashion was presented.
Sometimes they would pause and glance at their ballet teacher, Mme. Dubois who was sitting at the end of the table and talking with her friend. Mme. Dubois was beautiful and stylish, and her husband was charming, handsome, and a gentleman. All the girls wanted to be like Manette Dubois.
As the girls chattered away, Manette was speaking earnestly to Jade. She was trying to persuade her to agree with her on an important matter.
"Jade, you must come. It will be a charming party. Verdi and his wife will be attending since it will be given in their honor. Please, both Jean and I would like to have you there with us."
Jade looked skeptically at Manette. She didn't understand why this was so important to her friend. A party on the evening following opening night, with Verdi and others wasn't an event that she would feel comfortable at. She lacked the clothes and social skills that would be necessary for her to fit in. Why bother? It just doesn't make sense.
She shook her head no for the second time.
But Manette persisted, and wouldn't accept a refusal. Their invitation allowed them to bring guests, and she was determined that her friend would be one of them. Patiently, she asked, "What else do you have to wear besides your work clothes?"
Jade shot back, "Nothing. Just my stable outfit." There, she thought with relief. That should put an end to it.
Manette looked at her with vague horror. "You mean you have nothing to wear for opening night?"
"No, I don't. Nothing." Jade shrugged. She was hopeless and it was time for Manette to realize that.
Eyeing her friend for a moment, Manette continued. "My sister is about your size. I think she would be willing to give me one of her dresses, which we could alter for you. I'll contact her tomorrow."
Jade stared at her with dismay. Manette's determination had acquired a nightmarish quality and was completely out of character.
Giving Manette a long serious look, she said in no nonsense voice, "Manette, I will not wear a corset, and I will not wear a 'fashionable dress'. I do not care for either of them."
Manette sat back and her jaw set in a stubborn line. It was a look that Jean would have recognized but was new to Jade. She replied, "Well then my dear, we shall have to find an 'unfashionable' dress for you."
0000
Later that day, Jade was brushing the chestnut gelding when Jean stopped by the stable with Gillian in tow. He leaned on the lower half of the door and gave her a big smile.
"I hear you will be going to the party with us." He chuckled as he waited for her reaction.
Jade frowned slightly.
Jean picked up Gillian and swung her over the gate and then strolled in behind her. He had a devilish smile and was enjoying pestering the woman. He had firm instructions from his wife to 'convince her' but that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun while he was doing it.
The little girl stood timidly at the door, and looked up at the enormous horse in front of her. The chestnut noticed her too and turning his head, he nickered softly as if inviting her to come closer.
Jade noticed the interaction of the child and horse and ignored Jean. She put out her hand to the girl and beckoned her to come closer. "He likes you Gillian," she said. "I can tell."
Gillian took a step forward and then hesitated. He's as big as an elephant, she thought with trepidation.
Picking up the child, she carried her to the horse. As she held her on her hip, Jade stroked the gelding, who was watching the child with intense interest. It was obvious to her that he had been around children before.
Gillian tentatively reached out and touched his neck and then smiled at Jade. "He's soft," she said with pleasure.
After watching the gentle interactions between horse, woman, and child, Jean abandoned his teasing.
"Jade, I know you will enjoy meeting Verdi. I've spoken with him and he is a fine old gentleman. And I hear his wife is extraordinary. I believe that they would enjoy meeting you as well. Would you do me the honor of accompanying us?" He stood there with his hands in his pockets and a boyishly appealing smile on his face.
She put down Gillian who had suddenly become quite taken with the horse, and turned to her friend. "Jean, I don't think I would fit in. And I'm not comfortable wearing a stylish dress. Please don't tell this to Manette, but I'd feel very foolish in one." She shrugged her shoulders.
Jean gave her a steady look. He could see her point but he still wanted her to join them. She needed to get out more, and away from the opera house. He wanted to help with that.
"I understand. I think most of what women wear is rather foolish. But I think that between Manette, and a friend of ours in the costume department, and myself, we can put something together for you that you will be comfortable in. And I promise you that if you are willing to stay for an hour, I will arrange for a carriage to take you home afterwards."
Jade looked at him and sighed deeply. She was losing.
0000
After supper Jade sat in her room and studied the designs that Jean had drawn. He had provided several choices for a dress, and had done his best to keep it simple. None of them would need a corset.
It was nearly seven o'clock, and she still had several hours before retiring for the night. She was finally past the point of needing extra hours of sleep. Today she'd spent the afternoon working with the horses, and her body felt relaxed and strong.
Picking up her novel, she paged through it to a favorite passage—a fiery dialogue between Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester that always made her tingle. When she was finished, she restlessly paced the room. She hadn't seen Erik since Saturday night and wondered if something had happened to him. Oddly enough, she actually missed his impromptu, semi-invasive visits, and was tempted to walk in the back passages, which might provoke his appearance.
It was strange how he'd known that she had music playing in her mind. She did her best to hide if from others. But then, he wasn't like other people.
Jade went to the wardrobe and pulled out her cloak. A walk by the river was what she needed tonight to take care of her restlessness. She threw it over her shoulders and then went to the table to blow out the candle. Glancing at the designs, she shuddered at the thought of wearing one. I will be a misfit there. Out of step with those around me. I'll just have to keep my mouth shut and stay out of the way, and then maybe people won't notice me.
Unlocking the door, she opened it, and reached up to extinguish the gaslight on the wall.
Erik was suddenly there, looming over her. Startled, she jumped. He gave her a brusque nod and entered the room.
Jade closed the door behind her and looked in his direction. He was sitting at the table rifling through Jean's designs.
"What are these?" he demanded with a cool tone. He turned to her, and held the sheets in his gloved hands. His face was expressionless.
"Those are possible designs for a dress that a friend is making for me," she replied, as she walked to the table. An idea had come to her. Perhaps Erik could help. She pulled her chair closer to his, and picked up one of the sketches.
Holding it away from her, she tried to view it with fresh eyes. "I think that this may be the best of them." She laid the sheet on the table in front of him, and waited for his comment.
Erik promptly covered it with the rest of the sketches. "They are amateurish and completely unsuitable for you," he said with contempt. Then he got up and stood before the mirror.
Jade glanced up at him and caught her breath. His black cape hung perfectly on his shoulders and draped to the floor. She could see the reflection of his face faintly shining back from the mirror, hovering above his right shoulder. As she watched him, she felt a tiny ache inside and an odd sense of peace that he was back in her room. For the briefest moment, she felt that he belonged to her.
And then he spun around to face her with his cape floating backwards in a dramatic flare. As his cool eyes fixed on hers, she realized that the man before her could belong to no one. He was a force of nature and too wild to be owned.
Erik stared into her eyes for a moment, and she lifted her chin and stared back.
"You were preparing to leave?" he inquired with a smooth voice. His apparent indifference held a trace of curiosity.
"Yes. I was about to go for a walk," she replied.
"Would you allow me to accompany you?" he casually asked.
Jade was surprised by his unprecedented request, and found herself nodding yes.
Erik quickly led them through the hall that went to the back passages. Once inside, they walked towards the stable. It wasn't a direct route to the river, but she'd already given up on that idea. She assumed that they were going to a place more private, probably to the bridle path where they were less likely to encounter people. Walking the familiar passages with him by her side, she felt a rising excitement. She remembered when he had carried her through the hidden passages from box five to the offices. Glancing at his dark form, she noticed that his steps were light, and nearly silent. She wondered how he had slipped up that one night when he had followed her in these passages. The incident seemed a long time ago.
They passed into the stable and then out the door to the street beyond. Outside the entrance was a waiting carriage.
Stopping, Jade looked at him with suspicion. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if he could be trusted. He'd already had something planned before he came to her, and had been leading her around as if it were a spontaneous idea.
Erik read her doubts. "Jade, I have a surprise for you this evening." He looked down at her with a slight smile. Opening the carriage door, he offered her his hand.
He was standing there with his fine clothes and the mask hidden by the hood of his cloak. His face had that youthful look that she had seen in the stable, which made him seem much closer to her in age. And his eyes looked right through her. She shivered in anticipation, and took his hand.
The streets were lit up with pedestrians and carriages all around them. Occasionally they passed a building that drew a comment from Erik. He would describe the type of architecture and the underpinnings of the building. His explanations flowed effortlessly, and were simple enough for her to comprehend. Nor were they intellectually dry or pompous. His voice was animated and he appeared to relish the subject. He was introducing her to something he cherished, and once again, she felt like a favored pupil guided by a brilliant teacher.
The carriage ride lasted for close to an hour, and had a fairytale quality to it. Then the carriage slowed and the clip clop of the horse's feet lazily struck the pavement until they came to a gentle halt.
Erik exited the carriage and again offered her his hand.
Stepping from the carriage, she saw a large stone church. The moonlight that spilled from the sky painted it with a milky light. Erik released her hand, and Jade looked up at him with questioning eyes.
He led her to a side door that was unlocked, and then into the church.
Inside, the church had the hollow, hushed feeling that she was familiar with. Large candles placed at the sides of the altar formed a sphere of light. To the right was a massive organ surrounded by candelabras that cast a shadow on the nearby wall.
Jade genuflected before the altar, and crossed herself in respect for the unseen presence. She looked up at Erik who was by her side. He was coolly watching her, and she noticed that he had not genuflected. Perhaps he is a protestant, she thought. But if so, then what are we doing here?
Turning away, he pointed to a pew that was a half a dozen rows from the organ. "That will be the best place for you to sit," he said. He looked down at her puzzled face and then explained. "Jade, I would like to play for you tonight. I have permission from the priest of this church to use the organ. It was he who instructed that the door be left unlocked for us."
Erik motioned towards the pew and then turned towards the organ. He removed his cape, and sat on the bench before the instrument.
Jade sat in the amber shadows, at the edge of the candlelight, and watched Erik's still face as he prepared to play.
The music started slowly. It was sweet and clear, like the sounds of her childhood. Then it gradually grew in its intensity as it rose and fell in waves.
She watched Erik as the music rolled from his fingertips. At first, what she saw was him making the music: the movements of his shoulders, the arching of his back. She followed his rhythms and matched them with those of the melody.
Then it changed. She thought it was a trick of the candlelight when she saw him fuse with the music. The lines of his body blurred, and he seemed to disappear. What remained was a dark shadow that ebbed and flowed with the waves of sound.
She shut her eyes and the music crept into her and rivaled the tune that was already in her head. Sitting in that great room, she felt the music: it settled into her flesh, and coursed through her blood.
Like his voice, his music was spellbinding and added a new dimension to her world. She had never heard music so utterly complete, except for that in her mind. She smiled softly and welcomed it.
He had been playing for nearly an hour when suddenly, a sharp and angry voice boomed from the area of the altar. The music stopped.
Jade opened her eyes and saw a priest standing on the steps as he faced Erik.
"How did you get in here?" he shouted. "This is not a performance hall. Leave at once!" The priest rose to his full height as he angrily approached Erik.
Erik stood up, and in a flash was next to the man. He grabbed him by the throat and with one large swoop pinned him to the side of the organ. Erik's head slowly bent over the priest's whose eyes bugged out from fear and pain.
Jumping from her seat, Jade ran to the men. When she got there, she saw an enraged Erik who had murder in his eyes.
"For the love of God, have mercy," pleaded the man.
Erik retorted in a low voice of pure hatred that sent a chill through Jade. "I am not familiar with that virtue. Your god has shown me little of it."
In a panic, Jade cried out, "Erik, let him go! Don't torture him."
Erik slowly turned to Jade, and looked at her as if she were a ghost. The blood lust drained from his face and he released the man.
The priest fell to his knees with his hands at his throat. Jade bent over him and looked into his face. "Are you alright, father?" The man nodded, and then glanced up at Erik who stood next to the organ. The look of terror returned to his eyes.
Jade stayed close to him, afraid that he might pass out. "Please father, say something," she coaxed.
He croaked, "Thank you." She sighed with relief. His voice box hadn't been shattered.
Looking up, she saw that Erik was gone and the church door was open.
Moments later, Jade left the church with an intense feeling of guilt. She wanted to stay behind and tend to the priest but she also felt that it would be best for both Erik and her if they quickly disappeared.
Reaching the waiting carriage, she climbed in and it sped away.
As the carriage moved through the streets, Jade watched the silent man that was sitting across from her. Erik was turned to the left and was looking out the window. She thought that it was not coincidental that the white mask was presented to her while the rest of his face was hidden. What had happened in the church with the priest had caused Erik to withdraw into a Mount Everest of distance and emotional coldness. She could feel its chill as surely as if she had dipped her arms into ice water.
The goose bumps crawled up her arms as she tried to control her fear. The murderous Opera Ghost had returned.
She recalled the story that Pierre had told her the day before she met Erik. He hung a man in the middle of a performance. Had that man's offense been greater than that of the priest?
Jade struggled with her feelings. He's a dangerous man, part of her cried. You are riding with a murderer. Why did you expect a walk in the park with him?
It was true. He was dangerous. She'd never forgotten that. She'd just put it aside for tonight. She'd been taken in enough by his intelligence and his occasional tenderness to believe that he was in control of that side of himself, and that maybe it would not show except under extreme circumstances.
But tonight, he'd been out of control. The punishment didn't fit the crime, she thought.If she hadn't been there, he might have crushed the man's throat.
Her gaze fell from the cold white mask and lingered on his hands. They were the hands of an artist and a healer. She remembered how they had tended the stallion with extraordinary gentleness. They were beautiful, like his eyes, and his voice and his music. There was a great deal that was beautiful about the man who was sitting across from her.
Erik, she thought, what happened to you? The mask. Is that what damaged you?
Gazing at him, she tried to imagine what it would be like to carry one's difference on the surface rather than inside. She had been able to hide hers most of the time. She knew what it was like to feel intensely alone. It could drive one mad.
She'd been fortunate. At critical times in her life, when she'd needed it the most, someone had stepped out of the darkness and given her the kindness that she needed to go on. The hardness of her life had made her suspicious, but it had never damaged her heart with hatred.
Then a voice inside of her head challenged that thought. Are you sure? Remember, there is something that you can't remember. Perhaps you aren't as pure as you think.
She shut out the taunting in her mind, as she looked hard at the man seated across from her.
They rode in silence. As Jade sat back in her seat, and stared at the white mask, the memories tumbled through her mind: the stallion, the gifts, the poetry, her illness. Her life had become entwined with this man's. And after tonight, she believed that it was his music she had heard in her mind when she had first seen the opera house more than a month ago. He was part of her destiny: the destiny she had embraced willingly when Pierre led her to the Opera Populaire.
In the darkness of the carriage, her hand slowly moved across the void between them and rested on his hand. She watched his mouth, which was free of the mask, and saw it lightly twitch when he felt her touch. Erik turned to her.
The hatred was gone from his face, as well as the anger. Instead, in spite of the control he exerted, his eyes showed pain and despair. Whatever his demons had done to him in that church, the damage was still there.
Jade cupped his hand between hers and looked into his eyes. In the dim light her eyes appeared larger and deeper, like a pond with hidden depths. He stared into them and she saw his tension gradually ease. His mouth opened slightly as his face relaxed. She glanced at his soft lips and then focused upon his eyes, as she gave her peace to him.
After a few minutes, Erik loosened his hand from hers and then gently placed hers within his.
They rode the rest of the way to the opera house holding each other's hands. After a while, Jade's became numb but she ignored the sensation. For that brief journey, she would be his anchor and hold him fast.
The carriage stopped at the stable entrance. They left it behind and entered the back passages.
They came to the door that led to the staff quarters. It was the door that Jade had fled through weeks before when she had heard the scuff of a foot in that black corridor. Now she stood next to the man who had followed her in the darkness.
She quietly opened the door, and turned back to say good-bye. But it was too late, for he was already gone.