Disclaimer: You know the deal, I own nada, except Xena.

Authors note: THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! You're all so nice! Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 5

I bought a new beretta, glock 17, and a new 7 inch automatic switch blade and lots of ammunition. I could never be too careful. Since my days of crazies I had gained a lot more weaponry and protection.

I left the shop feeling a lot more confident with my favorite weaponry in a bag in my hand. I got back on my newly acquired bike and pulled the helmet back over my head.

I drove back to the office grinning happily.

I pulled up and cut the engine and as I was getting off I was tackled onto the ground.

I was more then a little caught off guard which I know is completely stupid because I should be alert at all times, as the army cadet training told me, but I was still a little high on the fact I had just bought my favorite guns.

I got tackled to the ground by somebody and I was pushed face down onto the floor with my arms behind my back pulled tightly and firmly. I heard a female voice,

'You are violating the law, I am a law enforcement agent and I am holding you under arrest-'

'Woman, you make it sound like you're a cop. You're a fucking bounty hunter, you don't say all that shit.' I heard Vinnie say.

'Shut up she did it didn't she.' I heard Connie say. I grinned but it dropped when I remembered the Porsche. Please don't let Ranger be there…

'So what do I do now Batman?' the woman said in a flirty voice.

That was a little too much for my mind to bare.

I latched onto her wrist and twisted her arm until she let go of my arms where I spun around and kicked her away from me. I saw and heard her crash a couple of feet away and I smirked. I got to my feet but was immediately pushed back down again by a strong foot.

I twisted Ranger's ankle and he removed his foot and pulled me to my feet.

He was probably more than a little mad right now. I could basically hear everyone intake a sharp breath.

Oh well I didn't care. I've been mad at him for the past 2 years, payback's a bitch.

He yanked off my helmet and I narrowed my eyes at him.

I think I saw a flicker pf surprise in his eyes before he covered it back up with the usual unreadable expression.

'Steph!' I heard Connie exclaim before she rushed forward and hugged me.

'Hello Connie,'

She pulled away and looked me up and down, then shouted over her shoulder, 'Lula! It's Steph!'

I saw the door open and out came Lula who looked exactly like she had 2 years ago, but then again, maybe a size smaller. She nearly pushed me over with the hug she gave me.

'Damn your skinny' she said into my shoulder.

I smiled, 'You can talk.'

She pulled away and raised an eyebrow, 'Hardly. Look at you, you look hot.'

I blushed slightly, 'Thank you.'

I averted my gaze from Ranger who was staring at me, making me squirm under his gaze.

Lula raised an eyebrow and looked between us, sensing the awkwardness she didn't mention or question it though.

'How come you're here?' she said smiling, 'By the way since when have you had abs?'

'I'm visiting Mary Lou, how is she?' I said avoiding the other question which would lead to more questions. Lula and Connie shared a look, 'Not good, have you spoke to her yet?'

I shook my head, 'I was going to now but I –'

I was cut off by a push from behind that didn't even sway me.

I turned to see the woman who jumped me. I scowled, 'What is your problem?'

She crossed her arms and but her big lips into a pout. She was a skinny red head with a heart shaped face with Angelina Jolie lips and eyes. She looked like one of those people who don't even have to put makeup on in the morning to look presentable.

'You just stole Vinnie's bike, does no-one give a shit?' she said bewildered and angry.

I rolled my eyes, my old Burg habits soon returning, 'Not really, so back off'

I turned to Lula, 'Who the fuck is she?'

Lula was smirking slightly, 'That's Xena she's the latest newbie bounty hunter, started a week ago.'

'Xena? As in warrior princess? Holy shit, what the hell have I missed?'

Lula bit her lip as did Connie it looked like they were having trouble holding back laughter. I looked at Ranger for a second and he looked mildly amused, not that I care what Ranger thinks, as well. I turned to find Xena giving me a dirty look, a small vein in her forehead popping outwards slightly.

'For your information, stranger, I have caught every single one of my FTA's.'

'Which is how many?' I said raising an eyebrow and smirking.

'12, in one week.' She said proudly, 'Which is more than I can say for you miss-'

'Plum, Stephanie Plum, ex bounty hunter.' I said smiling sweetly.

She looked a little shocked, 'You're Stephanie Plum?' and she burst into laughter.

I felt my eye twitch and I counted to ten in my head.

'And…?'

She had tears running down her face, 'It's just you can't be, Stephanie Plum is a fat, tastykakes addicted, slutty, 32 year old who lives in god knows where. She moved two years ago and no-one has heard of her since. Only Joseph Morelli knew where she went but he won't tell a soul.'

I felt my fists tighten at her fowl words. This woman really must want to die. Stupid bitch, serves her right.

I took a deep breath and muttered under my breath, 'Por favor el dios me da fuerza para no asesinar a la persona delante de mí que acaba de declararme poco ceremonioso ser un slut gordo. Haga que ella entiende que si ella continúa hablando esta manera saldré de mi beretta y viene el cráneo la coge a la cogida del reino.'

'Please god give me strength not to murder the person in front of me who unceremoniously just declared myself to be a fat slut. Make her understand that if she continues to talk this way I will get out my beretta and skull fuck her to kingdom fucking come.'

I heard a slight cough covered laugh from Ranger who incidentally happened to know Spanish much to my chagrin. Xena just looked confused and didn't seem to understand Spanish, 'What did you say girl?'

'I said that you were my knew best friend and that I loved rainbows in the sky and fluffy candy floss clouds. Take a guess warrior girl.' I said harshly.

Xena looked a little pissed, 'Whatever you say fatso.'

'I am not fat, please desist in saying that I am, because frankly it is pressing my nerves.' I said calmly.

She looked bored, 'And I care because…?'

Jesus Christ how stupid is this woman? Has this woman ever known not to provoke the lion?

I leaned in towards her so our faces were close, 'I know a lot of people in high places that can make people disappear. Don't push me into something I won't regret.' I whispered.

She narrowed her eyes, 'Is that a threat?'

'Could be' I said in a bored voice, I walked towards the bike and got on replacing the helmet on my head and putting the shopping bag on the handle bar.

'See ya around' I shouted over my shoulder to the girls, 'You better watch your step Xena' I muttered to myself and revved up the engine and sailed down the street towards my best friends apartment.