Entry Number Two Hundred One:
It was the most unbelievable feeling…
I hate it…
I hate her…
Entry Number Two Hundred Two:
Those stupid tears I'm trying to hold back are wetting my face.
I hate the way she's laughing at me right now.
Entry Number Two Hundred Three:
"You know…" She starts speaking. I have no choice but to listen.
"I have an uncle who works with herbal medicines…really powerful herbal medicines. I just happened to ask him about a certain plant that will clear any sore throat, but the horrible side effect is that it causes you to lose your voice for a couple of hours."
"Sparkle!" the cheerleader who gave me that cookie comes up to her. "Is that why you made me make sure Bijou ate the whole cookie? You wanted her to lose her voice?"
"No, of course not!" But the other cheerleaders start surrounding her.
"That's low, Sparkle…"
Entry Number Two Hundred Four:
"Bijou, you have to be at the podium in a minute to give your speech." The coach comes up to me, wondering why I'm not already up there ready to give my speech.
"Bijou, get up there!" The coach orders when I don't move; unfortunately, I can't help but shrug.
"She lost her voice, coach," Sparkle informs as she appears through the crowd of angry cheerleaders.
"You did?"
I nod.
Entry Number Two Hundred Five:
The coach looks upset and very aggravated. "Well, you can't give the speech and perform the cheer, so maybe you should just sit down with the rest of the audience."
I nod stupidly again.
"What about the speech?" Sparkle asks the coach enthusiastically.
"Bijou, give your speech to Sparkle. She'll read it since she's the captain."
Sparkle smiles, but the other cheerleaders look livid.
"But coach-"
"Girls, get into position. The ceremony starts in thirty seconds!"
Entry Number Two Hundred Six:
I sit down in the last row, where there's one lonely seat that has yet to be occupied.
Sandy and Pashmina, who are sitting with the rest of my friends in the row ahead of me, turn around.
"You're not reading your speech?"
Entry Number Two Hundred Seven:
"Why aren't you up there?" Sandy demands, but as she gets a good look at my face her eyes soften.
"Have you been crying?" Pashmina asks gently, and Hamtaro, who's sitting beside them, turns his head sideways towards Pashmina and Sandy as if he's interested in what we're talking about.
But all I can do to answer them is put a finger to my lips and tell them to quiet down; the ceremony starts now.
Entry Number Two Hundred Eight:
Sparkle doesn't have an accent.
She has a huge smile spread across her face.
This is what she wanted, and this is what she got.
The most upsetting part is, she sounds so good reading my speech up there. It makes me wonder whether or not I could've read it better myself. But what if I could. Maybe I could go up there, if I still had a voice, and read the speech so well that the audience would give me a standing ovation. What makes me think that I couldn't?
Suddenly, what Pashmina and Sandy asked me the other night starts to make sense.
Why do I want to change?
Entry Number Two Hundred Nine:
I know I didn't even want to be a cheerleader in the first place, but watching them all perform, Sparkle being in the center, is heartbreaking.
Why did I ever eat that stupid cookie?
Entry Number Two Hundred Ten:
After the assembly is over, all my friends go up to Sparkle, but me and Boss are left behind.
Entry Number Two Hundred Eleven:
Hamtaro is standing behind Boss, kicking the dirt and pretending to not be listening. It's so silly how even when I'm so upset, I still notice every little thing he does.
"Bijou," Boss says, "I forgive you."
Entry Number Two Hundred Twelve:
I open my mouth, confused, but he puts his finger on my lips and continues.
"Please don't say anything until I finish."
Okay…no problem there.
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirteen:
"Actually, Bijou, there's nothing to forgive. You don't like me, and it's not fair for me to be mad at you for that…not that I could remain mad at you for more than a second. Anyway, I don't want to make you feel guilty for something that's not your fault at all. I mean, I can't force you to like me, so I certainly can't blame you if you don't. I just wanted you to know that."
Boss walks away and I see Hamtaro staring at me with his mouth slightly opened. I walk up to him, wanting to talk to him, but what am I going to say?
Hamtaro starts talking. "Bijou, I thought-"
But just then, Sparkle appears with Pashmina and Sandy following her.
Entry Number Two Hundred Fourteen:
"Sparkle," Pashmina hisses, "tell us why the cheerleaders keep threatening to tell the coach 'what you did' unless you confess?"
"Yeah," Sandy chimes in. "What did you do to make them so mad? And if it has anything to do with Bijou not reading her speech-"
"Well, then, why don't you two dolts go ask Bijou why she didn't read her speech. I'm sure she'll have something very surprising to tell you." Sparkle looks at me and gives me an evil smile.
Entry Number Two Hundred Fifteen:
I go up to Sparkle and shake my head.
How could you, Sparkle? How could you?
It was my idea to build a butterfly garden, so it was my right to read the speech for the garden. But for some obscure reason, you couldn't handle that. Maybe it was because the spotlight wasn't on you, for once. It doesn't matter now, does it? You still got to read the speech that I wrote and what more could you have wanted? It's just pretty sad that you had to drug me with a cookie to get that. At least no one can say you're not creative. Anything to make sure you're always center-stage, right?
Sparkle looks confused, but I don't care. I turn to Hamtaro.
Entry Number Two Hundred Sixteen:
And I'm tired of chasing after you, trying to make myself perfect just so you'd notice me. I've had enough. While I saw and heard Sparkle reading my speech, I had a realization. I will never be able to fix my accent, and I will never be able to pay attention in English class and I will never stop my stupid habit of thinking out loud.
Don't you see, Hamtaro? I can't fix myself. It's not fair to me or to you, because you don't deserve a girl who just came off the assembly line. You deserve someone better, but just so you know, I wanted to be that girl so badly. I was willing to change everything about me for you to give me one glance…but not anymore. If you did like me, it'd be for me, accent and everything, not for some carbon copy of a girl who could never exist. That doesn't make any sense, I guess, maybe not to you. But that's not the point! Go off and find your ideal girl, Hamtaro, because I know it's not the girl standing before you right now.
"How do you know that?" Hamtaro asks.
Heke? Did he just ask me…
"I guess I didn't put enough of that plant inside Bijou's cookie," Sparkle says quietly.
"What zoo you mean?" I ask.
Cats.
No, tell me I didn't just…
It's not fair!
Entry Number Two Hundred Seventeen:
"You like me?" Hamtaro asks as a huge smile spreads across his face.
"Zid I juzt say all of…zat out loud?"
I thought out loud even when I didn't have a voice!
Sandy nods and tries to cover her laughter.
"From the Sparkle bashing all the way to your…umm…" Pashmina seems at a loss for words.
"…Confession," Hamtaro finishes. He grabs my arm. "We need to talk."
Entry Number Two Hundred Eighteen:
"But Hamtaro!"
"Not now, Sparkle," he replies as he pulls me away.
"I can't believe you gave Bijou a drugged up cookie," I hear Pashmina say as I'm pulled away.
"Wait til we tell your coach about this!" Sandy exclaims.
Entry Number Two Hundred Nineteen:
Hamtaro drags me into an abandoned classroom. As soon as he closes the door he looks at me as the smile never leaves his face.
"I can't believe that you actually like me! All this time I thought that you and Boss…Cats, this is incredible!" he comes up to me and puts my face in his hand.
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty:
"Zo you like me?" Why doesn't this feel right?
"Like you? Bijou, you're accent, the way you space out in the most random moments, how you always think out loud…I'm in love with practically everything about you! Why did you ever think you needed to change for me?"
That's exactly what I'm asking myself.
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-One:
I pull away from him quickly.
"You gave me zo many reasons why you like me…"
"Yeah," Hamtaro says hesitantly. I think he's surprised at the way my voice sounds so serious.
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Two:
"So what's the problem?"
"Zee problem is, I cannot remember why it waz you, out of all of zee boyz at zhis school, zat I choze you."
"Heke?"
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Three:
I walk to the door of the classroom and open it.
"In my quezt for perfection, I forgot why you were zo special."
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Four:
"What are you saying?" He can't hide the anxiety in his voice.
"Zat if I forgot it, zhen it wazn't important enough zoo remember."
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Five:
And my legs walk me out of the classroom, away from Hamtaro.
But the thing is, despite everything that I thought I wanted…
…I don't want to stop moving away.
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Well, I'm pretty sure that there's only one chapter left. And wow. That was the longest chapter yet.
And yes, oh my god, Bijou just rejected Hamtaro. I know, I had that planned since the beginning.
Speaking of beginnings, after Perfection and Chuujitsu, are done, my newest fic, Petals (which is gonna be novel-length) is gonna come out. I just wanted to let you guys know, incase you wanted me to put one of your OC's in the fic, private message me and I will. (The thing is, I have a few spots in Petals that I need to fill with characters that aren't canon, so why not fill them with OC's that the Hamtaro-reading audience is already familiar with?)
So, PM me if you want your OC in Petals. I'll PM you back, tell you the plot, and I'll find the perfect spot for them : )