Trixie stared out the window, the early morning light displaying a city waking up. By the door sat her luggage. In another hour, she'd be walking out the door with a man she had just met the day before to some unknown destination. All to escape a man who had been her husband.
'I wish things hadn't played out like this,' she thought as the sun rose over the city. 'If only I had listened to Speed more than Taylor.'
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Trixie turned her head to see Torie standing behind her, the older woman looking exhausted yet surprisingly awake. She wondered how anyone could function the way that Torie did.
"It's nothing," she murmured, averting her eyes.
"Really? Looks to me like you could be kicking yourself in the ass," Torie commented lightly, sitting in a chair next to her. Trixie shot her an odd look.
"How did you . . .?"
"Know? I didn't," she shrugged. "I just guessed by the morose look on your face."
"You must think I'm pathetic," Trixie sighed, tears threatening to overtake her.
"What I think doesn't matter, Trixie. It's what you think that does."
"But I've done some pretty stupid things . . ."
"Don't we all? What's done is done, Trixie. There is no sense in beating yourself up over the road not traveled."
"Huh?" Trixie glanced at her.
"In other words, learn to get rid of your regrets. They only hold you down." Torie took a sip of Coke. "You have decisions to make. Places to go. You can't enjoy yourself if you keep kicking yourself in the ass. Take responsibility for your actions."
Trixie's eyes never left the older woman next to her. She couldn't believe what she had just said. Getting rid of regret? Did she even know what she had just said? How can one live without regret?
"You are unbelievable," she murmured.
"How's that?"
"You say learn to get rid of your regrets. You make it sound so easy."
"Funny you should say that," Torie chuckled. "Racer X said the same thing to me six months ago."
"Well, you do. You make it sound easy and it isn't. Regret . . ."
"Is for the weak and for those who want to wallow in self-pity. It sounds harsh, I know, but I've learned to live without regret. What's done is done." Torie stood and turned to walk away.
"You mean you have no regrets?"
She stopped.
"Just one, Trixie. Just one . . . and there's nothing I can do to change it so I'm not going to worry about it."
"Did it have to do with Ryan? This one regret?" she asked, wanting to know yet dreading the answer.
"No. My grandfather."
"Your grandfather?"
"Hm," she nodded "My grandpa . . . the one man I wanted to walk me down the aisle, the one man no one thought would die at the tender age of sixty- three. And I . . . I was fifteen."
"What happened?" she whispered.
"He died of cancer. The last time I saw him, he wanted a kiss from me . . . something I didn't give because I had a cold. Something I was told not to give if I felt even the slightest bit sick."
"I'm sorry, Torie."
"Don't be. You weren't there, you didn't know. Hell, I thought I'd see him again after that day. I didn't know. That's why they say hindsight is twenty-twenty, Trixie. You . . ."
A knock on the door interrupted what she was about to say next.
"Must be Killer," she murmured, heading for the door. "The question is . . . are you sure you want to go through with this?"
Trixie took a deep breath then nodded. It was her life, her decision. She had to go through with it. For her sake and for Speed's.
"Oh, by the way, Trixie . . ." She looked up to see Torie standing in front of the door, one hand on the knob. "If you want to send Speed something, have Killer send it to me and I'll send it to him. He's been improving greatly these last six months."
"You mean that? You'd . . . do that for me? Could you tell him that I was here and that I'll be in touch as soon as I can?"
Torie nodded then opened the door. Killer stood on the opposite side, a pair of sunglasses shoved to the top of his head. Her exile would begin the instant she walked out the door . . .