A/N: from here on, M rated material will occasionally be appearing in this story.

Chapter 44 Awakening

Several hours later, Erik awoke, and opened his eyes to the woman who was lying in his arms.

It hadn't been a dream. He had found her.

Lying on his side, he looked down at the dark mass of hair, and watched the slow movement of her shoulder as it rose and fell with her breathing. His right arm had gotten a little numb from the pressure of her weight upon it—it was beginning to tingle with a pins and needles sensation. Carefully, he worked it out from beneath her.

Sitting up, he gazed at the top of her head which peeked out from the covers. With his left hand he gently stroked her hair. It was heavy under his touch, and hid the pale, thin face that lay beneath it. She still has a full head of hair, he mulled with some relief. It was a sign that she hadn't reached the point of starvation.

Reaching under the covers, he touched her cheek. Her chill had disappeared. Their physical contact over the last few hours had warmed her.

Erik smiled wryly at that. After all you've endured on my account, I'm still good for you, my dear, he thought with a little sadness.

Now that she was warm, it was time to bring her back to the living. But first…

Burrowing under the covers, he pulled her to him. As he held her tenderly in his arms, he couldn't get over how delicious it felt to have her against him. Her presence was balm to his soul.

She was as weak as a kitten, bone thin, and lost in sleep. And for now, she was completely his.

Savoring the moment, he stroked her back with a comforting motion. He could feel the small knobs of her spine against his palm as he slowly pressed her against himself. The sensation of her soft breasts touching his chest caused him to gasp, and shut his eyes with pleasure. He had a sudden urge to bury his face in them but he resisted. She was fragile and needed him for something else.

Regretfully, he released her and got out of bed.

Standing in his kitchen, Erik thoughtfully stared at his pantry. Then he pulled out several items—honey, oil, dried milk, and carefully measured each before mixing them together. Her first meals would be important. She hadn't reached the point of starvation but she still needed to be fed carefully to avoid making her sick. A thin soup with herbal teas would be a good start.

He carried the bowl of food and a pitcher of doctored water to the bedroom, and set it down. Standing over the bed, he studied his charge. She was still sleeping deeply. His first task would be to awaken her. Removing the covers, he wrapped her in a blanket, and cradled her in his arms.

Before coming to Paris, Erik had traveled Europe, Africa, and the Far East where he had picked up a fair amount of healing knowledge. In the East, he had learned an ancient technique that used needles to stimulate the body. Now he used his fingernail to firmly press a point between her nose and upper lip which would help her to return to consciousness. After a minute, she took in a deep breath, and slowly opened her eyes.

Jade stared up at him with an unseeing gaze. Carefully, he spooned a little food into her and waited. After she swallowed it, her mouth automatically opened for more. Erik smiled, and gradually gave her the rest. When she was finished, he laid her back in the bed and joined her.

Her limbs had softened, and she fit nicely against the front of his body as he held her from behind.

Over the next few days, he carefully fed her, and tended to her needs. In between, he held her in his arms and sang to her. He sang the folk songs his rival had sung to her by the Seine, and added others from around the world—lullabies, ballads, and arias.

She grew stronger, and moved from the deep, trance like sleep into a lighter rest. Now she faced him as she slept, and seemed to be responding to his presence. If he made a motion to leave the bed, she would instinctively move towards him. The first time she did it, his heart sped up with delight. She needed him.

After several days, he carried her to the bath to wash her hair. Laying her gently on warm towels, he carefully shampooed her hair over the tub, and rinsed it. It took a bit of work to get all the soap out of those thick tresses. After a good toweling, he combed it out.

As he worked with her hair, he recalled the times he had stood by the mirror, and watched as women brushed and smoothed their hair. On occasion, a lover would enter, and Erik would linger for awhile, just to see eager hands rake through glossy strands. Christine's hair had been beautiful, with her abundance of chestnut curls. He would have liked to have touched it. But the one time he had brought her to his home, there had been other things between them that had required his attention. And when he had left her alone in his bed on that night, he had thought that there would be many more nights ahead in which he would be able to explore all of his hidden desires. How wrong he had been!

Erik gazed lovingly at Jade as he gently ran the comb through her thick mane. She was still terribly thin, but there were signs that her health was returning. In the last few days, the dark circles under her eyes had faded, and her skin had lost the dry roughness as it acquired a healthy sheen.

When he finished, he laid her on the bed, and smiled at the lovely picture that she presented. When her hair dried, it would fluff up into a cloud of unruly, soft brilliance, and he was eager to watch the transformation. She looked beautiful against the sheets with her silk chemise, and her hair spread across the pillow. He sat on the edge of the bed, and lightly stroked her arm.

She was improving with each passing day. Soon she would shake off her dreams and return to him fully aware. Then he would have to return her to her room.

Staring down at her, he wished there was a way to delay that moment. He wanted to hold her whenever he wished.

As Erik watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, he suddenly had an impulse to get closer to her. Roughly, he pulled off his shirt, and slid into bed.

Pulling her to himself, he shivered as her silk garment brushed his bare shin. He guided her face to his chest, and pretended that she had come to him and wanted his touch. His imaginings caused his groin to tighten, and soon he was fully erect. He pulled her closer, and carefully rubbed his hardness against her. The pleasure was enormous, and he had to restrain his urge to ejaculate. He knew he was using her at that moment but he couldn't stop. The raw pleasure was irresistible.

Trembling, he buried his face in her hair. She let out a small whimper, and the sound set off an electric pulse along his spine.

Clenching his teeth, he eased back, and then kissed her hair. Her lips were just below his chin. What would it be like if he were to steal a kiss? Would it awaken her if he pressed his lips against hers? And if so, would she turn away or welcome deeper intimacies? He needed to know how close he could get to her.

His hands traveled to her breasts, and he gently squeezed them. How unbelievably soft they were! In response to his touch, she moaned softly, and his groin throbbed in near release. Regretfully, he withdrew his hands. This was a pleasurable game, but he wouldn't let it lead to a climax.

Pulling away, Erik breathed deeply for a few minutes and calmed himself. Then he gingerly took her in his arms and sang to her. That gentle act helped distract him from his need, and soothed his excitement. Eventually he drifted off to sleep with her in his arms.

When he awoke, she was still asleep. He carefully removed her hands from his chest and left the bed.

He'd had a dream in which she'd awakened, and had come to him pleading for his touch. He had kissed her deeply and then penetrated her just as he had seen others do with their lovers in the opera house.

Now he had an erection, and needed to release it. If he stayed in the bed, he'd be tempted to take more liberties with her, which he refused to do.

Moving to the front room, he lay on the divan and began to touch himself. It started slowly, with a caress as soft as a silk chemise against his skin. Jade yielded to his need as he pulled her close. He entered her, and her eyes fixed on his. Faster he stroked his shaft, in rhythm with her small body moving beneath his. Deeper he penetrated her as he watched her pleasure grow. Reaching down, he pulled her face to his, and captured her lips while continuing his thrusting. After kissing her deeply, her mouth suddenly fixed on his and devoured him in a possessive kiss, causing him to explode inside of her.

His release was intense, and he moaned under the onslaught of the stimulation. Then he lay there for long, languorous minutes until he recovered enough to get up.

Erik ran a bath, and slipped into the warm liquid. Even though he had tamed his erection he still felt the urge to go to her. The mere thought of her set up another ache in his groin. An insatiable hunger had begun.

As he lounged in the water, he thought of the last several days and the deep satisfaction that they had provided. Part of him wanted her to stay as she was, to never return to her fully conscious self. As long as she slept, she was his. When she awoke, she would separate from him and possibly wish to leave his home.

He fantasized about what could be done to keep her there. He could build a wall so that she couldn't escape through the cave. He could hide the boat between trips. Perhaps he could enslave her with his voice so that she would never wish to go. Or he could drug her and keep her forever—a chained soul who only awoke when she responded to his touch.

His need was great.

But what of her needs? What of her need for freedom, for the sunlight above, for the feel of a soft breeze on her skin? Could he deny her those necessities?

Erik looked down, and groaned as he felt another erection arise. The bath wasn't helping, and his thoughts were goading him on.

Emerging from the water, he dried himself, and walked to the kitchen. There he prepared a medicinal tea—a drink he had used before to quench his desire. It had the additional effect of calming nerves and inducing sleep. It would also make him feel inordinately groggy when he awoke so he didn't like to use it unless it was absolutely necessary.

After several cups of the brew, he returned to the bedroom, and stood over the bed. Jade was lying on her side, facing him. Erik studied her for a few moments before returning to his place beside her. He gathered her into his arms, and pressed his face into her hair, grateful that the fire below had been quenched. Then he drifted off to sleep.

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Jade turned on her side and reached for the warmth but it was gone. Her eyes opened, and she stared at the empty space beside her. Something was missing.

Turning on her back, she followed the shadow play on the ceiling. There was something different about this room. It took her a few moments to realize that she was not in the cold, dreary room of the tenement house, nor in her chilly bedroom at the Opera Populaire. She turned on her side and stared at her surroundings for a minute before she figured out where she was.

The architecture was familiar, and she knew that she was inside of Erik's home.

Confused, she tried to remember what had happened. The last thing she could recall was Madame Pissaro coming to her door, and asking to come in for a visit, and her turning the woman away. The rest was a blank.

Straining, she finally remembered that she had been living away from the opera house for some time and hiding from Erik. But on reflection, she couldn't really place when all that had occurred. It seemed ages ago.

Since that time, she had traveled far and wide in her dreams. She had ridden the horses a hundred times, had had countless meals with her friends, and had walked the beloved hills of her childhood home. And in between, there had been Erik.

He had come to her not as the angry Opera Ghost but as the kind, intelligent man who taught her things from his books. And when they weren't talking, he was singing to her beautiful songs. Shutting her eyes, she remembered the warmth of his embrace. He had held her in her dreams.

Jade turned her eyes to the bed, and reached out to the depression in the mattress at her side. He had been there with her, but now he was gone.

Struggling, she tried to raise herself up, and was astonished at how weak she was. What had happened to her?

Lying back, she remembered the pain in her stomach when she had eaten the bread, and how she had vomited it. Then there was the bitter cold. Gradually, it all came back to her. Gillian had died and she had lost her desire to live.

The thought of the child brought tears to her eyes, and she started to cry. After awhile, she sighed deeply, and traveled back to the time shortly after Jean-Luc's death.

When he had died, she had retreated to her room and refused to come out. All she had wanted to do was to sleep. But unlike this last episode of melancholy, her mother had been there and had tended to her. The woman who had ignored and neglected her for years had suddenly come alive, and refused to let her daughter slip away. She had planted herself in Jade's room and had talked to her, sang to her, read books, and held her in her arms. She had fought the illness, and under her loving care, Jade had eventually returned and come back to life.

Blinking, Jade tried to penetrate the blur of recent events. There was a thick fog between now and Gillian's death. The only thing she felt certain of was that Erik had somehow found her. His warmth and smell were all around her. The angry Opera Ghost had disappeared and her friend had returned.

In some way, he had taken the place of her mother.

Sighing, she turned on her side, and stared at the door to the bedroom. She wondered where he was at the moment. Suddenly, she felt lonely, and she wanted him to return.

As if in answer to her thoughts, she heard the faintest rustle in the hall outside the bedroom.

Feigning sleep, she shut her eyes, and peered out from under her lashes as he came through the door. Slowly, he approached the bed and stood over her for a minute. Her heart started to race as she wondered if he could tell that she was awake. She willed her breathing to remain calm and even. Then he stepped away, and entered the bed from the other side. A moment later his arms were around her as he pulled her to him. He turned her over so that she was nestled against his chest, and she felt his face press into her hair. After a few minutes, his breath softened and deepened, and she knew he was asleep.

Jade waited for awhile until she was certain that he was deeply asleep, and then she carefully pulled back. With some effort she raised herself up, and looked down at him.

The right side of his face was pressed into the bed and the unmasked part was completely exposed to her gaze. His face had softened and his mouth was slightly open. Without the normal tension and control that resided in his features, he had taken on a boyish, innocent appearance. For the first time, she saw a child like openness that belied his age. His lips were full, pink and fascinating. Before she realized what she was doing, she lowered her face to his, and hovered close to his open mouth. She inhaled his warm breath, and smelled the acrid odor of the tea he had drunk only minutes before.

Staring at him, it came to her that she was there in his bed because he wanted her to be with him.

Lowering herself onto the pillow, she watched him, and listened to the musical hiss of his breathing. With each exhalation, her heart stirred until it was brimming over with feeling. Shutting her eyes, she softly placed her hand on his chest and followed its rise and fall with wonder. She had never felt this before, this hushed awe in the presence of another.

She decided that it would be best to wait a little while before speaking about her feelings. Erik was being incredibly kind to her, but it could change. Tomorrow he could look at her again with that cool, stern look. Or he might get angry and punish her with another of his tricks. Everything could change the moment that he awoke.

She glanced at his face and felt a renewed sense of wonder at its softness and the peace that she had never seen before. Was he always like this when he slept?

As she pressed closer to him, his arms automatically tightened about her and pulled her to him. Jade sighed, and soon fell back to sleep.

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It was the sound of the organ that awoke her.

The music was beautiful, and soothing. She listened to it for awhile, and decided that it was time to rise.

Pushing herself up, she struggled to get out of bed. Her muscles were rubbery and trembled from the effort. Next to the bed was a soft cotton robe which she put on. Then she swung her legs to the floor and tried to stand.

With her first effort, she fell. She pushed herself up and tried again, and managed to get as far as the door before having to sit and rest.

After several minutes, she made it to the kitchen, and crawled to the door. Pulling herself up, she sat with her back against the door frame, and stared into the front room.

Erik was seated at the organ playing. He was dressed in his black pants and white linen shirt that opened in the front. He appeared to be lost in his music.

Jade listened to the tender melody, which gave her strength. After a half hour, she rose, and walked unsteadily in his direction. She felt certain that she could make it to the dais. With faltering steps she approached the man who hovered over the keys. When she was a scant six feet away, he stopped and his eyes met hers in the mirror.

Inhaling deeply, she walked towards him until she managed to reach his side. Erik stared at her intently from the mirror, and as she had expected, the guarded look returned to his face when she reached of him.

Ignoring his distrust, she wavered at his left side, and tried to keep her balance as she forced her wobbling legs to obey her. Then she carefully lowered herself until she was resting on her knees. His long thigh was before her, at the level of her waist. She placed her hands on it to steady herself, and then slowly lowered her head until her right cheek rested on his leg. Letting out a long sigh, she shut her eyes and relished the contact.

A moment later, Erik's hand was on her head as it gently stroked her hair. His soothing attentions continued as she knelt there for awhile and lost track of time.

Eventually, her legs became numb. As she shifted, a small groan escaped her.

Immediately, he was off the bench, and had lifted her into his arms. He carried her to the hall where the bedrooms were, and paused for a moment. Then he carried her to her bedroom, and gently laid her on the bed.

Jade gazed up at his face which had taken on a cool expression. The young man who had lain next to her earlier was gone, replaced by a more distant fellow. Her eyes fell to his beautiful hands and that warm feeling of awe returned to her.

She wanted to say something that would make him stay. But words failed her so she stared up at him silently and waited.

After a few moments, Erik turned away and left the room.