Disclaimer: Look at previous chapters!
A/n: Sorry it's been so super long since I updated last. I don't have any excuses and I'm sorry! SOOORRRYYY! If you could see me now you would know that I look extremely sad and sorrowful. ! Hope you can forgive me by reviewing and telling me what ya think, good or bad! Preferably good though but I guess constructive critisim is good…even if it makes you feel sucky. Lol. Thank you to all the reviewers – I cannot believe how much response I'm getting from this story. Honestly, it's just all blabbering that I'm surprised makes any sort of sense what so ever!
Hope you enjoy the next chapter!!
Love ya all! Hugs to every reader!
Chapter 21
"What is wrong with you? Get a hold of yourself!" Amia shouted at me in a string of Spanish. Cammy frowned at me as well.
"Steph…I thought you said that you didn't love the guy?" Cammy said rubbing my back in comforting way.
I had finally managed to stop crying and while I was blotting away a couple of stray tears Amia laid into me.
"I don't…I'm just gonna miss everyone so much. I never thought about it before because I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone before, except Joe, I just up and left; but it just hit me then how much I'm gonna miss everyone." I said sighing deeply.
Amia and Cammy raised an eyebrow, "And this has nothing to do with the fact that you'll be away from Ranger?"
"Well…yeah! He's one of my closest friends, along many others. I just…I think coming back was a mistake." I said slowly.
"Are you sure about that?" Cammy said in an analyzing voice.
"Well, ok, it was good to help Mary Lou so she didn't split up with Lenny and it was great to see my family again and friends but i feel…" Cammy gave me an encouraging look, "feel like that if it hurts this much maybe I shouldn't go back home." I said slowly.
Cammy nodded understanding way but Amia just looked at me like I was crazy.
"You want to stay here? But I thought you hated the 'Burg. What about Spain? You have friends there too." Amia said in a patronizing voice.
Cammy gave her a look then looked back at me, "Have you thought about it much?"
I shook my head, "Amia, it was just a impulsive thought, I'm not really going to stay here. I mean, I moved for a reason, right?"
Cammy had a ghost of a smile on her face, "And that was…?"
I opened my mouth but no words came out.
Shit.
Why did I move?
"To get out of the 'Burg and stay away from all the pressure. Everyone also expected me to get married and have lots of babies…"
"Which you didn't want any way," Cammy said matter-of-factly, "Steph, I think you moved with good intentions. But now that you have the insecure part of your life under control you should try and rethink your past decisions to see if they still apply."
Me and Amia stared at Cammy with shocked expressions.
"Since when have you become Dr Phil?" Amia said, hands on hips.
Cammy grinned, "I studied psychology for a couple of years in Uni. Before I wanted to become a Doctor I considered becoming a psychologist."
Cammy was doing her degree in night school; she's a waitress/barmaid in the day time; that's where I met her, while I was working.
"So you think I should think about it?" I said a little stunned.
Amia frowned, "Your going to think about it? This doesn't sound like a very 'impulsive' thing. It sounds like you're actually considering moving back here, I knew this was going to happen!" she said pissed as she stalked out of the toilets.
Amia had been my next door neighbor since I moved and first introduced me to the Army Cadets, she and I have been close ever since I met her, she had good reason to be upset if I moved away.
I just sighed making my way to the door,
"She doesn't mean to be unsupportive, you know. She's just going to miss you." I heard Cammy say to me in Spanish.
"I know…" I said and slowly walked out of the toilets, my mind mulling over recent thoughts.
I didn't sleep easily that night, partly because the couch was unbelievably uncomfortable, and still a little soggy from the water that had been chucked on me that morning, but partly because my mind kept going over what Cammy had said.
Why couldn't I think of one good reason not to stay?
Apart from the fact that I don't live here and my new job is in Spain.
So instead of sitting on the soggy couch I got up, got my notepad and started jotting down down a pro's and con's list of living in Spain.
Pro's
Friends
Job
Apartment
Friendly people who don't judge you.
No pressure to get married/have kids/live in a house with a picket fence/have a 'respectable' job
No Ranger or Joe
No irritating family
No 'Burg gossip
People don't know your past/don't care about your past
Don't tend to attract crazies/stalkers/murders/fuckwits etc, generally people who want to kill you or blow up your car have not yet appeared in Spain.
Nobody cracking jokes about your past (see bullet point 9)
No bets are made on your next car disaster
Cons
No family which are missed on the holidays and now and then.
No old friends
No Bob – hard to believe but I miss the crazy mutt
No 3 o'clock gossip
No shocked looks from passers by when they recognize 'The Bombshell Bounty Hunter'
No people who know you since you jumped off your garage roof
Nobody supports Rangers
No Tasty Pastries
Nobody cares that you came from New Jersey, Trenton, and don't even know what the 'Burg is – most of them anyway, Amia happens to just be good at Geography.
No big Thanksgiving celebration
No sexy army guys that are willing to help you with almost anything
No Ranger
No Ranger
No Ranger
No Ranger
No Ranger
No Ranger
I felt my heart clench as realization hit me, I loved him…again.
Shit!
I felt the paper drop out of my hands as I slowly backed onto the couch and put my head between my knees; I breathed in deep gulps of air and tried to calm down.
I felt the bells ringing in my head slowly disappear as I laid back onto the couch and rested my head on a pillow.
What was I going to do?
I was in love with Ranger.
I had just wrote his name six times as a reason not to go.
Shit.
I felt my heart sink as I reminisced on the last time I fell in love with him.
He had completely blown me off, he told me his life didn't lend itself to relationships.
What a load of bullshit, now I even had proof.
Tank was married and he had a similar job position as Ranger.
Ranger was just lying to me when he said it.
What a jerk off…but I still couldn't conjure up the feeling of hate.
I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off as I pondered on what I should do about the whole fiasco. I hated it that I had fallen in love with him again and hated the fact that when I will go back to Spain I'll have to endure the whole 'getting-over-it' phase again. It had been hard enough the first time, was I going to survive this time?
I ended on that thought when sleep took over.
TBC
A/N:
SO??!!??
Forgiven me yet?!?!?!?
No?
Why's that then?
Too short a chapter did I hear you say?!
Well…I guess it was for the amount of time I strayed from the story….
You want more?
Are you sure?
Are you positive?
I guess I could post another…
Okay…here's another then….
Chapter 22
I woke up at the sound of knocking…very irritating knocking.
Ever notice how little things like how a person knocks a door, piss you off in the morning? Well it does for me!
I grudgingly rolled off the sofa, brushed out the creases on my clothes and moodily stomped towards the door.
"Hello?!" I said with a sting as I swung open the door.
It was Mary Lou.
I frowned at her smiling face, "What is it?"
She pushed past me into the living room and tutted at the state it was in.
"Steph, this place is a mess, care to explain why you're sleeping on the sofa?"
"Care to explain why you're waking me up at…" I glanced at the clock, "9 am? Jeez I must have slept late." I walked slowly into the kitchen, dragging my feet as I did, on the counter was bright yellow post-it-note.
Steph,
We went out to get some breakfast, didn't want to wake you to disturb your lovely 'dreams' like before.
Be back soon.
Amia + Cammy
I rolled my eyes at their 'lovely dreams' comment.
You'd think that two new-to-the-town visitors wouldn't be out wandering the streets of an unknown town, but nope, there they both were, getting breakfast without me.
I made some coffee for me and Mary Lou and sat at the table with her looking at me with bright eyes.
"So, wassup?" I said sipping my coffee.
"You're leaving tomorrow and I came to see if there was anything I could say that would change your mind." She said slowly.
I looked up at her, "Mare…"
"I know you're just visiting or whatever but come on, who are you kidding Steph, you love it here. You've already got your accent back and you're saying all the same phrases you used to. Don't try and tell me that you don't like being here!" she said fiercely.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes with my hand, "I don't know Mare, I've been thinking about it and I think it would be great if I moved back here..."
Mare let out a squeal, "Really?"
"Yeah, but I don't think it would be ideal for me. See Mare, I think I've sort of fallen in love with Ranger…again."
Mare let out whoosh of air and her face dropped, "Shit. That's bad."
"Yeah, I know. I just think that if I stayed here, it wouldn't be good for me. Plus, I just don't think that what I want is in Trenton."
"Which is what Steph?"
"I don't know yet but if I limit myself to my childhood area for the rest of my life I am never going to find out." I finished my coffee and fingered the rim while I talked.
"I understand what you're saying Steph, and I agree with you but I still wish you could move back here or at least stay a little longer. We all miss you Steph." She said smiling weakly.
I felt a rush of warmth rush to my heart at her last note.
People actually miss me?
But I'm 'The Bombshell Bounty Hunter', constantly blow up cars – or I used to – and I nose into everyone's business.
Why would anyone miss me?
After Mary Lou left I made the sofa bed up and had a quick shower, changing into some respectable pants and a thin strap vest shirt. I put on my big coat and hurried out of the door; no way was I waiting around for Cammy and Amia, they'd probably gone to the mall after breakfast knowing them.
I got in the big blue and drove to the office, I could start saying my goodbyes to Lula and Connie today, so I could just leave tomorrow morning.
I parked up and got out of the car to see a sleek black BMW pull up alongside my blue monstrosity.
I watched Ranger get out of the car and walk towards me,
"Yo." I said smiling,
"Yo, yourself." He replied with a ghost of a smile.
We walked into the office to see Connie and Lula talking and eating donuts.
Ranger gave them both a nod and walked into Vinnie's office.
Lula started fanning herself the minute he disappeared into the weasel's lair.
"Damn, that man is fine. He should have a warning or something to warn you." She said sighing. I grinned at her and we all agreed with her.
"So whats up Steph?" Connie said raising an eyebrow at me.
I took a seat next to Lula, "I..um…I've come to say…bye. I'm going back to...home, tomorrow." I said not looking at them.
"What? You're leavin' but this here is your home." Lula shouted at me.
"I only came to help Mary Lou come to her senses, I've done that now so I think it's best if I leave." I said suddenly very interesting in the floor.
"But…you've only just got here. You've been here what…a week? You should stay longer!" Connie said to me. I looked up at them both,
"I can't, I'm starting a new job on Monday, that's why I need to leave tomorrow. I'll get home in the afternoon so I can have a nap and get up early Monday morning. There's really no getting out of me leaving tomorrow." I said quietly.
They both sighed but didn't say anything more.
"What's the job?" Lula said suddenly, obviously hoping to change the mood.
"It's in a security company, my position would do all sorts of security for numerous customers. I only did an interview last week and my new boss gave me the job on the spot; I'm anxious to start really-"
"You're anxious to leave? Thanks Steph, that makes us feel so special." Connie snapped. I looked up at her and opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.
What was the point? They had every right to hate my guts, I was going to take off again and I was pretty sure I was not going to be coming back.
I sighed and stood to leave, I got to the door and looked back at Connie and Lula who were each avoiding my gaze, "I'll see you then, ok?"
I only got two nods back and I just sighed again and walked away.
I felt tears building up in my eyes as I walked away; that was not how I wished to leave things between me and my friends.
Was everyone going to be like this?
I was just opening the Buick door when I heard my name and I turned to see Connie and Lula rushing towards me.
I nearly got knocked down by the sheer force of the hugs they both gave me, and felt my heart lighten at their notes of farewell.
I felt tears streaking down my cheeks as I drove away from their waving figures.
I waved back and wiped fiercely at my eyes, cursing myself for becoming such an emotional freak.
I drove by the mall for a little retail therapy to get my spirits up and to find something completely gorgeous for tonight. I parked up and just as I entered I saw Cammy and Amia coming out of Victoria Secret.
They saw me and walked over to where I was standing, "You okay, sleepy?" Amia said in Spanish.
I rolled my eyes, "You should have woke me up! I can't believe you let me sleep, I had to miss out the gym this morning because you didn't wake me up! What happened to breakfast?" I said raising an eyebrow – or rather attempted to.
"You were sleeping like a baby, how could we wake you up?" Amia said in an innocent voice.
"We've had breakfast, early lunch and stopped for coffee. We're still on hunt for some clothes for tonight." Cammy joined in.
I sighed, "I've just had to say goodbye to some friends and I'm feeling a little…emotionally drained. I've decided that staying would be a bad idea…"
"Oh?" Cammy said raising an eyebrow, and Amia copied her reaction.
"I think I love him." I said simply.
"Oh crap, not again. Steph, I told you that he was bad news. Hon, you don't need him, don't worry. We're going to get you through this, come on. Let's go shop our asses off and go bankrupt." Amia said and swung her arms around mine and Cammy's shoulders, pulling us towards more shops.
About two hours later, time seemed to come to a stand still and it was difficult to tell the approx. time, Amia, Cammy and me had an outfit.
Amia had a sexy black corseted top with a black belted skirt. Cammy had a short, low-cut red dress with small, subtle frills on the skirt. I had picked a more clubbing outfit and gone with a tight black leather halter and a pair of tight, low-riding, black, leather pants. I found some killer black boots to go with it too.
We were all completely exhausted and nearly collapsed into the Buick when we got to it in the car park.
I dropped Cammy and Amia home with all the bags and drove to my mother's house to say my goodbyes.
An hour later more tears were running down my face and I was finding it a challenge to stop them from coming, after I had said my goodbyes to my family I had visited to Cop Shop, Joe's and Mary Lou's again.
I parked up at the apartment and dragged myself up stairs and flopped onto the couch, head first.
I heard someone enter the room, probably to see who the insane person who just flopped on the couch, and I just heard Amia's shrill voice,
"Have you just got back? Steph, it's 7 and their picking us up at 9." I raised my head and looked at her confused at this new found information.
"9? How do you know it's 9?" I said slowly raising myself up from the couch.
"Err…Les told me this morning when he took me and Cammy out for breakfast, along with Bobby of course." She said smiling.
I rolled my eyes, but felt a small part of the jigsaw filled in, I was wondering how they'd got to breakfast this morning.
I sluggishly got into the shower and showered, waking myself up a bit. Then it suddenly hit me that I only had an hour and a bit to get ready and I soon hurried.
TBC
A/N: Forgive me yet?! Tell me what ya think! Review! Please! Me and Ranger love to read them, it gives us warm fuzzies!