Chapter 52 Accident

The next morning, when Jade awoke, Erik was gone.

Indifferently, she eyed the bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen table. In spite of missing dinner the night before, she had no appetite.

It doesn't matter if I'm not hungry. Rifling through the pantry, she pulled out oatmeal, and started her breakfast. For the remainder of her pregnancy she was determined to eat several meals a day even if she had to force them down.

As she stirred the porridge, she heard a whisper of sound, and saw Erik leaning against the doorframe. In a second, he was at her side, and taking the wooden spoon from her hand.

"Sit down, my dear," he gently commanded. Settling in the chair, she wrapped her feet around the rung as she watched his tall figure bend over the boiling pot.

When she finished her meal, she moved to the couch. Erik was playing the organ—a piece that he'd been composing for the last week. Watching his long back sway, she wondered what it would be like to dance with him

The massive instrument breathed out a melody as he stroked its keys. As she listened, the soothing music wiped away the remnants of last night's pain. It was as if Christine no longer existed.

That morning, Jade rose from her bed with an empty ache, knowing that she had an impossible rival for Erik's affections. Plus, there was the regret that they had spent their first night apart since their marriage.

As she put up her hair, she stared into the mirror, and pondered over her uneasiness. What has happened to me? She wasn't the same person who had come to Paris months before. The tough, independent woman who had survived all these years on her own had disappeared.

I've been a lovesick child since the first night Erik kissed me.

Her old self would have done better in this harrowing situation. Or at the very least, she wouldn't have dissolved into tears at the first sign of a serious problem.

Watching as Erik's hands floated along the keyboard, she rested her hand on her belly and thought of their baby. It was up to her to build a home for her new family, and there was no room for self pity, disappointment, and childish thoughts. I have to be stronger.

Erik's vibrant figure rocked back and forth with stretched out, sweeping arms. A delicate touch, a bold flourish, he was nearly finished with his composition—another piece of beauty that would stay in the depths of their home to be played only for an audience of one.

The music stopped, and Erik rose, and strode to the couch. His anguish and distraction of last night had disappeared, replaced with confidence as his gray-green eyes penetrated hers.

"You are fully recovered, my dear wife?" he asked soothingly.

"Yes, thank you. I plan to go to mass in a few hours."

His astute eyes scrutinized her as Jade steadily returned his gaze.

Taking her hands, Erik pulled her from the couch. Then leading her to the bedroom, he held her gaze as he drew her to the bed. Stretching out on it, he patted the spot in front of him, and stared up at her with glittering eyes.

She sat on the bed, and glanced at his soft, moist lips. Then straightening, she said firmly,"There's something I need to tell you."

"Very well," he replied, and sat up. His thumb stroked her palm in sensuous circles.

Jade closed her eyes, and pressed her spine into the solid headboard to bolster her will. At that moment she was sorely tempted to toss her good sense aside, and give in to his touch.

Why is it so difficult to tell him? It shouldn't be a surprise. People marry and then babies arrive.

Yes, but it's not Christine's baby, her nagging voice answered.

"Erik, I am with child."

Jade's eyes opened and fixed on his.

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Erik stared back, pinned to the spot by her burning eyes. He could feel her fear and doubt.

She is afraid of what lies beneath the mask. Tightening his grip on her hand, he waited.

After a long moment, Jade's eyes softened as she leaned towards him. Touching his face, she stroked his cheek in a slow caress.

"No matter what happens, please know that I love you," she said a little sadly. Turning away, she proceeded to leave the bed.

"No," he said, as he forcefully pulled her to him.

Pushing her into the bed, Erik kissed her roughly. He could feel her slipping away, wrapped in fear, perhaps eaten up by a dread of the future—the mother of a monster.

I will not lose her, he thought as he desperately tugged at her clothes. He had to have her. Once they were again joined she would open her soul to him, and stay.

Swiftly, he pulled the bodice over her head and then worked the skirt down her hips. Damn these female garments. When he got to her chemise, he breathed a sigh of relief. Ripping the shirt from his back he tore at his pants and the buttons flew across the bed. Finally, free of encumbrances, he stared down at her.

She was looking up at him with a sad look of longing.

Lifting her chemise, he smoothly slid it over her head. Then his fingers searched between her legs. Finding dryness there, he cursed under his breath.

"The baby," she murmured.

Erik firmly ran his palms over her breasts and followed their curves. They had grown a little larger in the last week. He had wondered if it was simply a part of her normal cycle or something else.

"Has there been any morning sickness?" he whispered as his wet tongue licked her ear.

"No," she sighed and pushed closer to him. "Erik, the baby…" she repeated softly.

"I will not harm our child," he replied as his hands swept her body. "We can safely join until a month or so before the birth."

Pulling her against him, he took her breast in his mouth and suckled it. It was warm like the rest of her and tender. She stiffened and he eased off a little as he recalled the voices of women in the opera house talking about sore breasts at the beginning of their pregnancies.

Closing his eyes, he relished that round pillow of flesh, and smiled as he thought of how well endowed she would become as the baby grew.

Women had always been alluring and beautiful to him. But a pregnant woman was especially so. The reverent way they touched their own bodies as if they were caught up with the wonder of what was inside of them. Once, when he had had the strength to put aside his envy and bitterness, he had spent an afternoon behind the mirror watching a pregnant woman move about her room. There had been a secret shyness to her, as if she had become a wild creature of the forest.

Fiercely, he laved Jade's neck and stomach. Then turning her away from him he worked his tongue across her back while she shivered from the sensation. Her back was very sensitive to this stimulation, and it was perfect for what he intended. He needed her now, and he was using all the tricks that he knew to arouse her. From behind he could avoid her luminous eyes. It was too easy to fall under their spell, which would slow him down.

Her breathing sped up as he rubbed her cleft while continuing to lick her back. She was beginning to open up to him, growing moister with each deliberate stroke as she moaned softly.

Yes, my darling. You will want me.

"Stop," she gasped.

Quickly turning her over, he grunted with pleasure as he entered her, and smiled when her eyes widened and her hips smoothly rose to meet him.

He slid back and forth a half a dozen times enjoying the way her body accepted him. Then he eased her into a side position. Now that he was inside, he could stop for a moment, and look at her. The lovely rose flush of her excitement was spreading across her skin. It was one of the things that he loved about her. She was utterly open to him, incapable of hiding her feelings or her physical desire for him. When he had first seen that flush on their wedding night, he had felt a pang of joy. He would always know when he excited her.

"Jade, are you comfortable?"

She pressed her face to his chest and kissed him. "Yes."

Thrusting slowly, he probed her inner chamber. She was now very wet, and he closed his eyes to feel her better as he pushed into her. It was a marvel how a woman was built to hold a man—that smooth, moist tightness. He could never imitate these sensations with his hand. When he was inside her, he was touching perfection.

Changing his speed, he watched Jade's green eyes cloud over as she moaned louder. Cradling her in his arms, he took her lips and speared her tongue. She eagerly responded. Their heat above matched the fire below, as Erik reveled in her passion.

You are mine. You will always be mine.

She was truly his now, with a part of him growing inside of her. It would shape her, change her.

It will not be a monster, he thought as he thrust deeper into her. Her goodness will break the curse. The child will be whole.

He still believed in God. After all these years of pain and misery, he could not deny that he was a victim of that mighty hand. But he would not bow to that cruel deity even now when he finally had happiness. Providence owed him, and it would pay.

Jade stiffened in his arms, and he knew she was at the edge. Pulling his tongue from her mouth, he watched with delight as she began to convulse in front of him. He felt powerful, godlike, as he delivered her orgasm. She was small and grasping at him with weak and wild hands while her inner walls throbbed against his organ. Her cries were exquisite. Shutting his eyes, he tipped his head back and thrust harder as his swollen member milked her.

Her muscles contracted around him and pulled him towards ecstasy, but for once, he resisted. When she finished, he was still firm.

Erik continued to push into her. How long could he go on? Today, it felt like forever. As long as she would allow it, he would continue.

The pressure mounted and colors began to change. The golden bed cover beneath her rose tinted skin shimmered and spread its light across her body. She lit up like a flower in the sun and the sun was a burning sphere of pleasure. Panting, he groaned with the intensity of each thrust as her insides became liquid heat that slid up and down his shaft. Something emerged as he sank deeper into her—words flowed out and he lost control.

Then suddenly, Jade was no longer soft and receptive beneath his onslaught. She stiffened and moved spastically, her body flailing about in hard, uneven motions as she climaxed again. And this time, she took him with her.

He spilled into her and pumped her until he could move no more. Then with a cry, he stopped and fell trembling to her side.

Slowly, Erik opened his eyes to see her face inches from his own. A soft touch was on his skin, and he realized that she was stroking his cheek.

"You're crying," she murmured.

Reaching up, he felt wetness streaming from his eyes. How strange.

Then a wave of sorrow rolled over him, and tears rushed out.

If he hadn't been so limp from spent pleasure, he would have fought that outrageous, unexpected outburst and won. Instead, he watched as his body betrayed him.

Rolling away, he moved to leave but her arms were suddenly around him, and pulling him back. She was holding him, and relentlessly drawing him to her. He felt her lips kissing his face, and drinking in his tears.

"No," he whispered, but she ignored him and continued.

Erik lay there, as a life time of tears was wrung from his soul.

She kissed him for what seemed like hours. Warm, lingering kisses. All the kisses he'd been denied as a child, as a passionate adolescent, as a lonely man. At first he soaked them up passively, as the love that was his due. Then, when her tongue entered his mouth, he returned them—long, languorous exchanges, as he lay in a strange and enchanted state. They were kisses of healing, and he bowed to her wisdom.

Eventually their lips separated, and they lay in each others arms. For once Erik had lost track of time. He knew she would soon leave him to attend mass. She was a good catholic, and never missed the Sunday service if it could be avoided. Sighing, he wished it were another day.

His hand stroked her naked back and she nestled closer to him. "You will be leaving for mass?" He asked a little wistfully.

Raising up and leaning on her elbow, Jade gazed down at him with a serious smile, and shook her head as she replied.

"Just this once, God will understand."

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Jade left the back stage, and briskly walked down the hall. For some reason, over the last day or so, her bladder had developed insistent urges that were sending her scurrying to the cabinet de toilette. She was only a month and a half pregnant, and it was too early for the baby to cause such turmoil.

Over the last few days, Erik had been reading to her from medical texts as he calmly lectured her on what foods she was to eat and how much she was to consume each day. It was all very scientific and dear, the way Erik had taken on her pregnancy as a valued project.

But her bladder control was another matter, and she was feeling a bit annoyed with her body's new needs.

By the time she returned to the stage, the work crew was gone for lunch, and only Jean remained. He was standing at the center of the backstage with his hands on his hips and frowning. There was a problem with the set, and he had been arguing with the set movers about it. Yesterday it had become heated between them, and for a minute it had seemed as if blows would follow.

He glanced at her and then his gaze fell back to the work. "Go to lunch, Jade," he said absently. Turning, she took a step away.

There was a strange tinkling sound above her. She lifted her head to look up, and was suddenly thrust across the stage by a sickening blow to her spine. Hitting the floor, she passed out.

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When she opened her eyes, she was lying on a divan with Jean seated by her side. The room was gray in spite of the gaslights' yellow hue. Blinking, she stared blankly at the dark face above her.

"Thank God," he said as he squeezed her hand. "You're awake."

With a weak hand, Jade touched her forehead and found a damp cloth lying across her head. Beneath it, on the right side, was a sharp ache.

"You hit your head," she heard Jean say with a calm voice.

"What happened?" she asked.

"One of the battens fell from the flies and struck you."

"I see," she replied weakly. Both her head and her back hurt, but it didn't explain the wetness between her legs.

"I need to use the facilities," she said with a low, weary tone. I must have wet myself while I was lying here.

Nodding, Jean rose. "I've sent for Manette. She should be here anytime."

Jean held her shoulders, and helped her up as he watched her with sharp eyes. "I can carry you there if you'd like," he offered.

Shaking her head, she said, "No. I think it would be best to see if I can walk." She leaned on him as they made their way down the hall. Once inside the cabinet de toilette, she hoisted up her skirts to examine the mess she'd made.

Staring down at her drawers, she was horrified to see that they were streaked with blood.

No, she thought as she quickly sat down.

Resting her aching head in her hands, she tried to think. What did Erik say the other night? Oh yes. Some women still have a flow when they're pregnant. That's it! It's not a problem.

Calming herself, she emptied her bladder and searched for clean rags. As she reached for the door she saw that her hand was shaking.

Jean helped her back to the room where Manette waited for them.

Over the next hour arrangements were made for Jade to rest in one of the staff rooms. Her old room was now occupied but on her request, they carried her to Pierre's.

As Manette set the lunch on the table, she stared at Jade for a moment with a worried look.

"How are you feeling, dear? Are you in pain?"

Shrugging, Jade tried to ignore her aching body. Her lower back was badly bruised but still intact, and her head hurt. But none of that mattered. It was the cramping in her womb which had begun a half hour before that was worrying her. Nothing Erik had read about pregnancy had said that cramping was a healthy sign.

Manette stood in front of her with her own belly protruding. By all estimates, she would be having her baby in a couple of months.

Fighting back her alarm, Jade bit her lip as a cramp twisted through her. She was not going to distress her friend with her problem. Manette was in a delicate condition and didn't need to share her fear.

Jean had offered to send for her husband and Jade had agreed. She had sent a note on to Jules Bernard, who would reach Erik. That was why she had asked to be brought to Pierre's room were there was a wall mirror. It was just a matter of time and he would come for her.

After Manette left the room with the tray, Jade dragged herself to the table, and wrote a letter which she slipped into her skirt pocket. Then she returned to her bed and waited.

It was around four o'clock in the afternoon when she heard a slight sound at the mirror. Turning, Jade held her breath as it opened.

Erik was at her side with his hood flung back and a stern look on his face. If she hadn't guessed his worry, she would have assumed that he was angry with her.

Gathering her into his arms, he turned and sped out of the room as the mirror slid quietly shut behind them. At the end of the corridor, he stopped.

"Are you in pain?" he asked with a strained voice.

"I have cramps, and my flow has begun," she replied as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Are they severe?" he asked evenly as they moved rapidly down the passage.

"They've gotten worse in the last hour." In spite of the fact that he had come for her and was taking her back to their home, she was feeling overwhelmed and afraid.

The trip across the lake was faster than ever before, and soon they were back at their home. She tried to stand as she left the boat but he scooped her up and brought her to the bedroom. Then he helped her out of her clothes, and carried her to the bath.

Jade lay back in the warm water as Erik gently bathed her. When he undressed her, she noted the bloody rag, and grimaced. She had never bled that much before. In spite of the soothing warmth of the bath and his tender ministrations, she was beginning to feel nauseous.

After her bath, Erik put her to bed, and returned later with a tea. He helped her sit up, and brought the cup to her lips since her hands were too shaky to hold it.

"This will help your stomach," he said soothingly.

With a look of determination she finished it, and then turned her eyes to him.

"Have I lost the baby?"

Erik didn't speak. Instead, he slid closer and took her in his arms.

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The day dragged on and the tears didn't come. Jade felt numb, as if the blow to her back had worked its way to her heart and killed whatever feeling remained. Even sleep evaded her, that comforting friend, which always eased her pain.

Erik stood nearby silently watching her. He had given her a tea to help with the pain but had told her that it was best to allow the blood flow to continue for at least a little while longer.

Jade didn't care. If she bled out or didn't, it was all the same.

In spite of the fact that she had no appetite, she managed to eat a little of the food Erik prepared. Her stomach didn't toss it up because of the tea he gave her, but it was tasteless. At nine o'clock, he lifted her out of her bed and carried her to his own where he joined her. After a half hour of him rubbing her back and singing to her, she finally dropped off to sleep.

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Erik stared down at Jade who was lying beside him. It had been hours since she'd fallen asleep. Since then, he had held her close in order to comfort her.

Running his hands through his hair, he considered what to do next. He was exhausted, and needed to sleep. But if he returned her to her bed, she might awaken in the middle of the night, and he didn't want her to be alone.

Finally, he lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom. I will sleep for a few hours and then return for her.

When he lowered her to the bed, she whimpered in her sleep, and clutched at his robe. Pausing, he reconsidered, and then carried her back to his room.

Stretching out on the bed, he held her, and a deep feeling of contentment arose as sleep approached. Her soft form breathing against him was balm to his ragged nerves. He had wanted this since the night she had awoken from her deep sleep months ago.

The uncovered side of his face was pressed against the bed with the masked side up, which safeguarded against it being dislodged during sleep. Shutting his eyes, he drifted off.

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For the next three days, Erik meticulously cared for Jade, as she slept and dozed. Knowing that it was her way of healing, he allowed it. However, whenever she was fully awake, he was either feeding her or forcing her to move about. After Christine had left, he had learned that exercise possessed a powerful healing property. So for the next few days, they either walked in their home, or moved through the back passages of the opera house. At night he took her above to the lawns that abutted the bridle path where they wandered under the stars.

Throughout their many walks, Jade said nothing as she doggedly followed him.

At night, he kept her in bed with him reasoning that it was because she needed him. But actually, he needed their contact as well. He was fighting his own unexpected melancholy, and it comforted him to have her with him through the night. Each evening he told himself that tomorrow would be the last time.

On the fourth night, Erik stood before the mirror and examined his face. Wearing the mask night and day had caused an irritation that was becoming a problem. As he stared at the chafed skin he shrugged and applied the salve.

Once in bed, he settled in, and pulled her small rump against his groin as he gently rested his hand on her belly. Sighing, he fell asleep with a peaceful smile.

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Several hours later, Jade opened her eyes to the painted ceiling. The mural was brighter than the last time she'd seen it. Turning her head, she stretched her neck until she worked out the stiffness.

The music in her mind had changed from a funereal wail to a kinder melody.

She rubbed her belly as she thought of the child that she would never know. She's in heaven now, she thought wistfully. That small, unformed life had flown away like a swallow, and left her mother behind.

The sound of a brief snort caused her to glance at her bed partner. Erik was lying on his side, and facing away from her, his shoulders moving with his slow, deep breathing. Tenderly, she wrapped her arms around his large form. He had been with her night and day as he watched over her like a guardian angel.

Erik, an angel. Perhaps an archangel with a flaming sword, she thought with a smile.

Raising herself up, she stared down at the unmasked side of his face. His dark hair had fallen onto his pale forehead. Running her fingers beneath the strands, she lifted them off of his brow. Lightly, her fingers continued down the side of his face as she anticipated the feel of warm leather. Instead, she found a rough and lumpy surface.

Jade froze, and then swiftly pulled her hand away as if she had touched a poisonous spider's web.

The mask is gone.

Staring at Erik's back with dismay, she began to inch away.

I haven't seen his face. If I leave the room and go to my bed, then when he awakes he may think I was gone when it fell off.

Carefully, she moved backwards across the large bed until she was at the edge. Pushing her leg off, she reached for the floor as she prepared to silently steal out of the room.

At that moment, Erik rolled over, and opened his eyes.

A/N: M material