Chapter 19: Rondo of Blood

"Grab hold of me. My shadow charm gives me power over all sorts of gates and doorways. I will open a path for us to the dominion of the Shadow Riders." Camula's tongue slid past her lips, a pink serpent searching for prey. She wouldn't intimidate me. These guys are playing my game, and I haven't put all my cards on the table yet.

"Cool, so is this like Instant Transmission where I can just place a hand on your shoulder, or…?" I asked, scratching my head.

"What is Instant Transmission?" She asked quizzically.

"What, you never read Dragon Ball? Have you been living under a rock?" I asked facetiously, knowing that wasn't far from the truth.

"More like a coffin. I'm afraid I've been dead until recently, so I am not familiar with what sort of dreck passes as "art" in the modern landscape. Anyways, the process requires us to hold hands." She snickered.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." My discomfort made her laugh.

"This should be par for the course for a harem protagonist, right?" Camula cackled cruelly, putting her fangs on full display. At my growl of anger, she continued with, "Yes, that's right, we have intel on everything about you key keepers, even down to the smallest quirks."

Everything, she says. Ha! I grabbed her hand. It was icy cold, like a steel pole in winter. Her nails dug painfully into my palm. Suddenly, my bedroom melted and streamed into a neverending river of neon colors. I felt a distinct pressure, as though were in an elevator going sideways. A loud whooshing sound overwhelmed my ears, and just as it was becoming unbearable, we arrived at our destination.

I yelled ungracefully as I crashed through a canopy onto an impossibly soft bed. Meanwhile, Camula landed on her feet gracefully. My eyes flit about, taking in information as quickly as possible. This was a bedroom, the only light coming from rose-scented candles at the edges of the room. The place smelled good – too good, as though the smell was masking something…horrible.

"So, any reason why we had to teleport here in particular?" I grumbled.

"Well," She bit her lip, eyeing me like a snack. No, like an actual snack. Like one you literally devour. "I just want to see if I can make you squirm."

"Um…kay. So anyways, let's go see your boss." I jumped off the bed hastily.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?" Suddenly, she held a glass of wine her hand, downing it in one gulp.

"I'm good, thanks."

Saying nothing, she sashayed past me and led me out of the bedroom and into a hallway. Blue moonlight beamed through tall windows. Suits of armor lined the walls, and at any moment I feared they would come to life and swing their axes at me.

The castle we were in was truly enormous – after ten minutes of walking, we descended a spiral staircase to the basement. As we went further and further down, the aesthetic shifted from middle ages to cyberpunk, cables and wires streaming up the walls like veins.

Finally, we reached the basement, which was shrouded in almost total darkness but for the technicolor electric light coursing through the wires all around us. I kept my eyes trained on Camula, fearing that she would try and bite me at any second. It definitely wasn't because of the way that dress hugged and accentuated her curves, no sir!

The hallway was empty, with doors on both sides of the wall leading to who knows where. Once or twice, I could have sworn I heard whispers from behind those doors, but they were unintelligible. Cold stone floors mitigated the heat emitted by the machinery, further highlighting the anachronistic nature of the setting. Okay, the voices were getting louder! In what I thought was a subtle fashion, I edged closer to one of the doors.

"Help," I had to strain, but I managed to make out that much from behind the door. "Help!" A dry voice cracked. I could scarcely imagine what lurked behind that thin barrier of wood and metal. As soon as my hand reached out to the knob, however, I was paralyzed on the spot.

Camula's sharp index fingernail dug into my chin. Effortlessly, she turned my head from the door to her face, only inches from my own.

"My master told me not to tarry, so I can't let you simply wander off. Besides, you know what they say…curiosity killed the cat." Her nail drew blood, and she licked it off her finger as she drew back.

"What happened to your bravado, boy? I cannot kill you until your spirit key has been taken, so you have nothing to worry about, right?" She cackled, her laughter echoing off the walls as she savored the taste of my blood. "Then again, perhaps turning you would be a more proper punishment for your insolence. Then you would never again mock the vampires!"

I wiped the blood from my chin with the back of my hand. I had to admit, she was pretty good at the whole psychological warfare thing. My heart was beating a mile a minute from a potent combo of fear and arousal, but confidence in my deck ultimately allowed me to hold on to my composure…as long as I didn't think too hard about what lay behind those doors. Were people being tortured in there? Or worse?

"Listen Camula, spending eternity with you as a vampire sounds cool and all, but I'm looking for a nice girl right now. Besides, green hair's not my thing. I prefer blondes. Although I do have to wonder if such a shade is natural…" I said with a crude smirk.

"I suppose a boy like you wouldn't fear death, would you?" Camula replied with a knowing smile.

"What did you say?!" The question pierced me. How do they know?!

"Hurry along." She beckoned. "Depending on how things proceed, you may become intimately familiar with what lays beyond those doors…"

And that told me pretty much everything I needed to know. We started walking again with a quickened pace. Oh yes, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, a children's cartoon about card game boarding school! Well isn't this as fucking whimsical as it gets. As though on cue, an image of Yubel appeared in my mind. "Actually, things are going to get much more fun down the road…as far as psychosexual head cases go, that one pretty much takes the cake." Sorry Camula, looks like you're getting the sliver medal in that regard, although then again vampires and silver don't mix from what I hear. Or is that werewolves?

The cables converged on a single point at the end of the hallway. A spider-like chassis held a cylindrical tank in which an incredibly decrepit old man floated in Bacta-esque liquid. His mouth was covered by a mechanical respirator, and snow-white hair cascaded from his head like a waterfall. A ring emblazoned with the Eye of Horus was subtly affixed to his right ring finger. Camula took a knee, gracefully bowing before the man despite his obvious infirmaries.

"Ah, there you are." The voice was a kindly old grandfather's, filtered by layers of cybernetics. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. My name is Kagemaru."

I don't think I had much of a choice, but at least he was upholding the niceties. "You're very welcome."

"You have done well bringing Jamie Lancaster to me, Camula. I have long suspected he would be one of the more…amenable key holders." He said cryptically. The servant rose, standing back two paces and awaiting her master's next order.

"Amenable in what regard?" I asked with a light air.

"Well, you have a certain element in common with the rest of the Shadow Riders. You have been touched by death." He said calmly, and my eyes widened.

"I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting."

"I'm entirely sure you're entirely sure what I am suggesting. After a fashion, I have known it since the beginning of the school year. You see, the transcripts from your middle school days paint a startlingly different picture than your current high school ones. Surely, you'll recall how in middle school you were very fond of using dragon type monsters? And yet you completely changed your deck right before the entrance exam, a duel of extreme importance to your future." Kagemaru started off.

"Well, the old deck wasn't cutting it, and I picked up some new cards right before the test." I lied quickly.

"Oh, I see. I'm sure you also have an explanation for your grades suddenly going from average to top of the class." Kagemaru pressed.

"Uh, I got my life priorities in order and started studying more."

"Well that's very admirable."

"Thank you." A long silence ensued. Camula watched the verbal volley with great interest.

"Since you have an answer for everything, why don't you tell me why you were so certain that Lyman Banner was a Shadow Rider, despite having only one piece of extremely tangential evidence to even hint at the idea." Shoot, this guy was pretty sharp. If the whole immortality thing works out for him, he should consider going into prosecution.

"Are you kidding me? That guy was shifty from day one. Always lurking about with that damned cat of his. Not to mention his eyes were always closed and he smiled all the time. I don't know if you guys have ever read Bleach, but that's pretty much the hallmark of a suspicious villain with ambiguous motivations." I blather. What is with me and manga references all of the sudden?

"But that doesn't explain how you actually knew that he was a Shadow Rider in particular." Kagemaru said calmly.

"Umm…uh…I overheard you speaking to him over a Skype call."

"I have never spoken with Lyman Banner over Skype. We would never use such an open and easily overheard method of communication." Kagemaru smoothly parried. "You're not very good at this, are you?"

"Well, the way Camula's staring at me is kinda freaking me out. Plus, I'm pretty sure you guys are torturing people down here."

"So, Jamie, I'm also curious about the dark duel energy that seemingly emanates from your being at all times. Perhaps the Gentle Darkness was the entity that transmigrated your soul to this dimension…" Kagemaru said.

"More baseless speculation." Although that was really as plausible an explanation as any. Did the Gentle Darkness bring me into this world? And if so, why?

"This conversation isn't really going the way I thought it would, so I might as well get to the point. You have an aura of death around you, regardless of whether you are actually a reincarnation of someone from another dimension or not. All of my Shadow Riders have been brought back from the dead, and I find myself with some positions open. You are one of the finest duelists at Central Academy – I want you to become a Shadow Rider." Kagemaru declared ominously. I could practically hear Camula licking her lips in the background.

My eyes narrowed. "Why should I accept this offer? You guys want to destroy the island and kill us all! You would step over our corpses just to have immortality! I could hardly think of a more selfish, destructive cause."

"Then why did you reincarnate into this world?"

"I didn't choose to be brought here." Was my firm response. I really wish I knew the reason why. There were probably people who wanted to live more than I did. People who deserved to live more than I did. But thinking any more on this was a waste of time – I never arrived at any answer no matter how hard I thought about it.

"Ok, Lancaster, if that is your real name. So, you say you didn't choose to be brought here? Who's to say that when you die again, you won't reincarnate into yet another timeline? The universe sees you as nothing more than a plaything. Immortality would at least allow you some control over your fate." He droned on.

"Too bad that I would have to kill my friends and be your slave for any of that to happen!" I roared.

"Camula is not my slave. Isn't that right, Camula?"

"You are correct as always, my master." Camula replied quickly and obediently.

Oh, very convincing! He didn't even bother denying the fact that I would have to kill the other key holders. Sadly, Kagemaru seemed to be operating on the idea that I willingly reincarnated into this realm because I wanted immortality. Sorry buddy, I didn't have that kind of power. Immortality has obvious flaws anyways. I had already lost all of my bonds from my previous life. If I live forever, then I will simply create and lose bonds…forever.

"Do not let your peers hold back your true potential. None of them could ever understand the real you…" Kagemaru sneakily insinuated.

"Well, you've got me interested, you sly old so-and-so. So, what are the benefits of being a Shadow Rider? Does it come with a dental plan?" The words "dental plan" echoed endlessly down the hallway as I spoke.

"Well, I'm sure we could negotiate something-"Kagemaru began.

"Just kidding. Gotta give you credit for trying and all, but I reject your offer. I do not wish for immortality, and I do not wish to betray my friends either." I felt the temperature drop as Camula's eyes bored into the back of my head.

After a long staredown, Kagemaru sighed mechanically. "Well, that's really too bad. Since you have a spirit key, this really is a "with us or against us" situation."

"Yeah, it's a real shame." I activated my duel disk.

"You see, we really do have need of skilled duelists in our ranks. So, if you will not join willingly, you will simply be made to join us." Kagemaru threatened.

"You're the leader of the Shadow Riders. Duel me. We can end this here and now." Without the Sacred Beasts, taking this guy down should be well within the realm of possibility. And without their boss, the other assassins should scatter like sheep.

Sadly, he wasn't going to rise to the bait. "No. Camula will more than enough to handle you. And once your spirit key is taken, you will join us as a vampire."

"Suit yourself." I turned to face Camula, who eyed me with literal bloodlust. "Ladies first then."

"Are you sure you really sure you want to do this? Have you forgotten that I know your deck?" Camula seemingly offered a way out to me, but it was merely a misdirection and we both knew it. From the start, I knew that I would be fighting my way out of here.

"Why should I trust you? You don't even believe in your cards!" I remembered Erin saying. I still wasn't sure what that meant, but I believed in this deck's ability to stomp these Shadow Riders. Thinking of her callous words made the memories rush forth.

"You are too shortsighted to be a worthy foe for me…" Banner had said.

"Life never ceases to teach. It is only when we cease to listen that we grow still, and die." Professor Drummond's words from the previous afternoon floated to the top of my mind.

"The journey has not ended. There are still new plateaus to reach." I recalled Zane saying.

"I want to be strong enough to fight alongside you." I remembered Alexis confessing on the last day of term. I opened my eyes.

"There are people I can't let down. Today, I use these cards not for the sake of pride, but to protect them."

Camula and I took our places on opposite ends of the hallway while Kagemaru dispassionately observed from inside his little Star Wars medical tank. Something told me he wasn't done trying to recruit me to his side. But I'll deal with that when I win.

"I think it's time for a little karaoke!"

"The hell's a karaoke?" Camula asked in confusion as we crossed the gap to roshambo.

"You'll find out." Since she knew that I always picked rock, I switched it up and chose scissors this time. She took the bait, picking paper. Grumbling, we returned to our spaces. The torches on the walls casted long shadows, their flickering the only noise.

"I will take the first turn." Let's hope I start things off on the right note. Get it, note? Okay I'll stop. Oh baby, this starting hand was good.

"I activate the spell card Ostinato."

"You play what?" Camula sputtered in shock.

Well, it seems the newer cards display on the duel disks after all. But how? Perhaps the duel of darkness was why these cards could be used. Either way, I wasn't complaining.

"Sorry, but you guys don't exactly know everything about me. It's a good thing no one else is around, else I wouldn't be able to use these cards without raising suspicion. You think you have me on the ropes…well have I got a surprise for you! By sending two monsters from my hand or deck, I can fusion summon a Melodious monster!"

"What in the name of Armityle is going on here?!" Kagemaru cursed, causing bubbles to flow from his respirator.

"You and your kind are finished! The moment to reveal my true power is here at last!" As I looked upon Camula, I thought of the other Shadow Riders, and the Society of Light, and Yubel, and every other evil that existed in this world. Evil that I would take down with my own two hands, if needs be.

I fuse together Mozarta the Melodious Maestra and Aria the Melodious Diva to summon forth my ultimate monster, the one that will sing you from this world to the next! Come forth, Bloom Diva The Melodious Choir (1000/2000)!"

The hall exploded in a burst of color and music, ominous Latin chanting filling our ears. I wonder if there was a way to adjust the kind of music the monsters played. It would be pretty sweet to blast some 80's rock in the faces of my enemies from time to time. Oh come on, like you wouldn't do it to given the opportunity! In the epicenter of the light was a little girl in a cute frilly dress styled after rose petals. A bright smile lit up her innocent features. Man, this was weird. Kinda makes me wish I had some generic dragons or something, but whatever. Wait, did she just wink at me?

Camula and Kagemaru burst into outright laughter. "Oh my, so this is your ultimate monster! A little choir girl! That has to be the most nonthreatening thing I've ever laid eyes upon!" The vampire cackled as the old man wheezed in the background.

"S-Shut up! These cards are super strong, just wait and see!" I stammered, feeling an awful lot like Syrus, as much as it shamed me to admit it.

"Hohohohoho, are these little girls part of your harem as well? Talk about degeneracy!" Alright, now the bitch was going too far.

"This monster cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects." That shut them up promptly. "I also take no battle damage from attacks involving this card."

"…. what?" Camula gaped. "There's no way a card that powerful could ever be printed!"

"Well, that certainly confirms my theory. A card that powerful could only come from the future. And to fusion summon without the use of Polymerization! Interesting…" Kagemaru wondered, not seeming very concerned about the livelihood of his servant.

"And since I have a Melodious monster on the field, I can special summon Canon the Melodious Diva (1400/2000) from my hand in defense mode." A curvy woman with a chock of blue hair and a masquerade ball mask arrived, giving me a saucy grin as more classical music played. Wait, why are they smiling at me?

"Uh…and for my normal summon, I'll summon Opera the Melodious Diva (2300/1000)." A tiny pink-haired fairy buzzed by my ear before taking the field as well. The card was absurdly strong for a level 4 monster, but it was unable to attack the turn it was normal summoned. Since this was a first turn, this drawback ended up being a distinction without a difference. Camula's jaw was about to hit the floor.

"Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?" She questioned.

"Yeah, so?" I grinned.

"That's against the rules, isn't it?" She asked further.

"Actually, there are several situations in which summoning multiple monsters at once can be considered totally legal in this game. And this just so happens to be one of those situations." I explained facetiously.

"This is all kinds of wrong!" She held her head in her hands, despairing.

Haha, if I XYZ summoned with Opera and Canon right now, she would probably faint. This deck had a few Exceed monsters in it, mainly Rank 4 toolbox cards like Utopia the Lightning and Starliege. Regardless of the effects of this shadow game, however, I was pretty damn sure that I wouldn't be able to play them in this universe. Summoning different kinds of extra deck monsters seemed to be a technique of some kind in the Yugiverse. If Arc-V was anything to go by it could take like 20 episodes to learn a new summoning technique. I don't get what's so damn hard about having two monsters of the same level on the field and overlaying them, or adding two monster's levels together, but apparently it's something you need work at for days in this universe. I had no idea how I could practice that without a partner, and I didn't want to try it here. For now, fusion summoning would be sufficient.

"I set a card and end my turn. Normally, the effect of Ostinato would destroy my fusion monster, but Bloom Diva's got the whole "can't be destroyed by anything" effect going on, so…good luck!" I waved.

"Master…what am I supposed to do?" Camula looked to Kagemaru for some semblance of guidance but found little.

"Um…have you tried believing in yourself? Or perhaps putting your faith in the heart of the cards?" He suggested lamely.

''He's right! There has to be some way I can win! I am a member of the great Vampire clan! I will achieve victory, key keeper! My draw!" Her determination in the face of overwhelming odds was admirable. In fact, it rather gave the appearance that she was the hero and I was the villain – if you think that torturing people and drinking their blood is morally equivalent to using an overpowered deck of trading cards that is.

"I play Allure of Darkness, letting me draw two cards at the cost of banishing a dark monster from my hand." She feverishly looked over her cards, trying to find a way out. "I set a monster and two cards face-down to end my turn! Now go!" Her confidence had evaporated in the face of the unknown, just as all of ours does.

I drew. "I will attack with Opera." I declared, not afraid of her face-downs. A wave of sound emerged from the little pixie's palms, blowing away Camula's face-down monster, Vampire Sorcerer (1500/1500). In the brief period I saw it, it had a dark violet cloak and hat, along with the requisite vampiric features.

"When Vampire Sorcerer is destroyed, I can add a dark Vampire monster from deck to hand, and I choose Vampire Lord!" Camula hastily grabbed the card from her deck.

"Very well. Bloom Diva and Canon, play some beats!" The two ladies put their power together and played a song.

"~WE'RE BREAKIN' FREE, SOARIN', FLYIN', THERE'S NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CAN'T REACH~"

What the Nani?! This can't be fucking real! Why on earth are they playing High School Musical songs? No, play something cool damnit! Like some Amaranthe or something! Seriously, my opponents are already going to doubt my masculinity for playing Melodious Divas to begin with, this was just going to drive the nail into the coffin. Heh, coffin.

The force from Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens' autotuned duet knocked Camula off of her feet and sent her colliding with the wall. (Jamie 4000/Camula 1600)

Slumping to the floor, it took the vampire a few moments to rise again as her master dispassionately watched on.

"Uh, listen, that's not my playlist, ok? This must be their default or something. Not that I necessarily have a bone with pick with High School Musical, but it's not exactly something you want to play in the middle of a fight…" I quickly explained while my monsters giggled at my expense. Oh, so they were playing a prank on me, huh? Well I'll get back at them after this! Wait a minute, why in the hell are they giggling? They're just holograms, not duel monster spirits…right? I thought I didn't have the ability to see spirits, what the frig is going on here?

"What the frig is going here?! I was sure that my deck could defeat any key keeper!" The usual villainous whinging ensued from Camula. I was amused that she also says what the frig, though.

"Indeed, that he was keeping a secret of this magnitude is astonishing. I wonder if your friends would still accept you if they knew the depth of your deception." Kagemaru's poisonous words were starting to piss me off. "And for Uria's sake, turn down that bloody children's music."

"Not telling someone something isn't the same thing as lying, dillweed." I finally turned to address him as Camula regained her composure. "And I'll turn down the children's music if I bloody well please!" I on the other hand didn't have much in the way of composure to begin with.

"I'm sure your familiar with the various degrees of lying, Jamie." Was his tepid response.

I growled. "You keep this up, and I'm gonna start fucking with your cords and cables."

He stopped talking after that, as if the very notion of dealing with a conflict without dueling ever occurred to him.

"Grr…it's my turn!" Camula brushed her hair back behind her ear, so it wouldn't get in the way. Her expression had taken a hard turn for the ugly, her tongue hanging out menacingly and her features darkened by hatred. No longer gorgeous and seductive, her outward appearance now reflected the evil within. Despite her rage, I remained calm.

"By banishing Vampire Sorcerer from my graveyard, I can summon a Vampire monster without tributing! And with this ability, I'll summon Vampire Lord (2000/1500)!" I recognized the aristocratic monster well, considering I had a copy in my "public" deck. He was a decent card to be sure, but here he had about as much use as Syrus in a basketball game. Don't look at me like that, it's true! I'm not sure the kid's even four feet tall.

"Next, I'll activate my trap card, Vampire Takeover! Since I have no field spell and all monsters I control are Zombie type, I can activate the field spell Vampire Kingdom directly from my deck!" She would normally be able to summon a Dark Vampire monster from her graveyard, but she has none so...yeah.

By the magic of the field card, we found ourselves transported from the castle dungeons to a sleepy village in the dead of night. At the top of a hill, I saw the castle that we were just in a moment ago. In the sky, a crimson moon bathed us in dull red light.

"Now, I play the spell Overpowering Eye!" My smug dismissal of her monster was in itself dismissed as the Vampire Lord gave me a paralyzing stare. My girls were frozen as well. "I may not be able to defeat your monsters, but that does not mean this duel is over, key keeper! With this spell, one of my zombie monsters with 2000 or less attack points can strike directly this turn."

In a flash, the Vampire Lord rushed past my paralyzed idols, and was upon me. In a swift motion, he sunk his fangs into my neck, and I screamed. As soon as he withdrew, I felt twin trickles of blood down my neck. "And when my field spell is active, zombie monsters gain 500 attack points during damage calculation!" She cackled. (Jamie 1500/Camula 1600)

I wiped away the blood with my hand, staining my fingers red. "So, awkward question, this isn't gonna turn me into an actual vampire, right? Cause that would really break the ol' suspension of disbelief." It was a lot easier to be cavalier when it was only my life at stake.

"No, that was merely a taste. The turning will only take place once you are defeated. But this is not the end of your troubles. I saw Vampire Lord in your deck earlier, so I'm sure your familiar with what it does. Send a spell card." She cackled. Silently, I pitched a copy of Polymerization.

"Since a card was sent from your deck to your graveyard, my field spell effect activates! I can send a Dark Vampire from my deck to the graveyard to destroy a card on the field, and I choose your Opera the Melodious Diva!" Camula shrieked as she sent another Vampire Sorcerer. A swarm of bats descended from the sky, zeroing in on my pink-haired singer.

"Not so invincible now, huh?" She laughed prematurely.

The bats sunk their teeth into a dissipating afterimage, missing their target completely. In a flash, Opera appeared behind me, having successfully avoided destruction. "I chain my trap card, Melodious Illusion. For the rest of the turn, Opera is unaffected by your spell and trap effects." I said calmly. "I must commend you for your efforts though. The force behind that attack wasn't half bad."

"There must be something I can do…I set a card and end my turn!" She said snappishly. Ah good, she hasn't drawn her Illusion Gate yet then. I don't remember what that card did exactly, but I do remember she was able to turn the tables on Zane with it. Plus, I think your soul is dragged off to hell for eternity if you lose, so that's definitely a drawback.

"Alright, let's wrap this up so I can get back to bed. I draw!" Before I could begin my turn, however, Kagemaru felt the need to interject.

"Tell me one thing, mister Lancaster. Is this the most powerful deck in your time period? Or are there even stronger cards?" He asked, rapt with curiosity. His eyes were wide from within his healing tank.

I looked him dead in the face and grinned viciously. "Not even close."

Camula shook with fear while Kagemaru's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, not even close. If I had the full power of Dragon Rulers, or Spellbooks, or Performapals at my disposal…I could defeat the entirety of the Shadow Riders in the span of an hour." I shrugged. "Sadly, this was the last deck I was using before I got myself stuck in this world…but it'll be more than enough to handle you lot."

"D-did he just say Performapals?!" Camula whimpered. "That sounds ridiculous!"

"Interesting…once you are on our side, we will work on creating these cards for our own use." Kagemaru still didn't seem worried, in spite of everything. I gave him a suspicious glare before returning to the duel at hand.

"I play Fusion Recovery, letting me add a Poly from the grave and a monster I used as a fusion material earlier. Mozarta the Melodious Maestra comes back to my hand. Try saying that card's name five times fast!" In the background, my Divas were doing the Carmelldansen dance, undermining my credibility at every turn.

"Now get ready! Because I activate Polymerization! Fusing together Mozarta in my hand with Canon the Melodious Diva on the field, I summon Schuberta the Melodious Maestra (2400/2000)! And this time, there's gonna be some badass music playing in the background. Got it? Bad. Ass. No Disney bullshit this time, ok?" I practically begged.

"~IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS, MAKE IT LAST FOREVER, FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSS~" The Spice Girls song blasted.

"I want to die." I murmured, feeling the color drain from my face. Maximillion Pegasus was probably having chest pains right now, sensing that somehow, somewhere, his favorite song was playing during a duel.

I wasn't playing attention, but my Maestra struck a pose as she took the field. She was a masked beauty in a voluminous red dress, an unusually sharp conductor's baton her weapon. Bright orange hair flowed like flame down her back, a femme fatale in every sense.

Despite the fact that she had to know her death was drawing near, Camula still cackled at my predicament. "Well, now I know why my seduction efforts weren't working earlier. There's no way a straight man would have such a sugary song as his battle theme! Is that why you shot down that Erin girl earlier today as well?" She hissed insultingly.

"Yeah, laugh it up…" I grinned savagely. "Because like it or not, "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is going to be your fucking funeral dirge! So, who's the real loser here, huh?"

"It's stlll you!" She replied spitefully.

"I activate Schuberta's effect! During either player's turn, I can banish up to three cards from each of our graveyards and banish them. And she gains 200 attack points for each card banished! I got rid of her Vampire Takeover, Overpowering Eye, and my Melodious Illusion, raising Schuberta to 3000 attack points. Camula had a face-down, but unless it was non-targeting removal, there was little to be done but play her out.

"I attack your Vampire Lord with Bloom Diva!" The sweet singer flew up to the vampire, who merely looked at her with a confused expression.

"What good will that do? Your Bloom Diva won't be destroyed, but nothing will be accomplished!" Camula protested.

"Wrong. I told you that this monster would be the instrument of your death, didn't I? When Bloom Diva attacks a specially summoned monster, that monster is destroyed, and you the difference between the two monsters' attack points as damage." I explained coolly.

The Vampire Lord swung a clawed hand, but the Bloom Diva caught his arm mid-swing, shonen anime style. Placing an open palm in front of the demon's face, she unleashed a wave of sonic energy that completely disintegrated him and sent Camula skidding across the hallway. (Jamie 1500/Camula 600)

The force of the attack was so great that it caused the very foundations of the castle to weaken. The vision of the field spell flickered and vanished – it was still active, though. I heard lurching sounds from above – definitely a bad sign, especially since were in the basement. Kagemaru seemed to recognize the danger, and the spider-like apparatus beneath his tank activated. Shit! There's no way I can let him escape. Luckily, this duel was only one attack away from being over.

"Run." I heard a feminine voice that was not Camula's say. Not questioning it, I sprinted down the hall towards the staircase I had originally entered from. Sure enough, the place was falling apart all around us. Where I had been standing a few moments was now a pile of rubble from the collapsed ceiling. The fallen stones separated Camula and I from Kagemaru – I couldn't see if he had managed to escape or not. Somehow, Camula managed to sense that the ceiling was about to give way and moved accordingly, despite her injuries. All of this was happening while the damn Spice Girls song played in the background, giving the situation a surreal vibe.

Camula panted for breath, holding one hand against the wall for stability. My back was to the stairwell, while she stood in what seemed to be the last remaining stable section of the hall. Our monsters had caught up with us, obviously unharmed by the falling rubble.

"Unbelievable…I've never seen duel energy cause this much collateral damage!" She hissed, clutching her side in pain. I watched warily, prepared to call the final attack at any moment. My monsters did the same, waiting and posed to strike.

"Well Camula, looks like that's about all she wrote. Now if you don't mind, we should wrap this up before the rest of this building comes down on us. Although I guess it really wouldn't make a difference either way for you…" I advanced, as just as I was about to order Schuberta to attack, she spoke.

"I see now that I never had any chance of victory, especially against someone with cards from the future." Her face was hidden behind green tresses, but I could've swore I heard sobbing noises. "Maybe this really was all for nothing…" She said with a tone of inevitability.

The rational part of my brain was screaming to just finish her off already, but I ultimately stayed my hand for a second. Perhaps, if Camula was going to realize the depth of her mistakes, I could allow her a few extra moments.

"Kagemaru revived me so that I could bring back the vampire clans of old, using the power of the Sacred Beasts…but in the end, it was nothing more than a fantasy." She continued. I was utterly unsure of how to handle this melancholy reflection.

"Why bother with this? When the duel is finished, your life is forfeit. If you don't like it, then you shouldn't have challenged me to a duel of darkness." I interrupted.

"You're right, Jamie. You're absolutely right. I just wish that things could have gone differently. Perhaps I was wrong for trusting Kagemaru…but maybe there is still a chance to turn things around. To redeem myself." She murmured.

"Tell me where I could find Kagemaru. What other hideouts does he have? And where are the other Shadow Riders?" I asked quickly, hoping that those tears of hers were genuine in spite of everything.

"I understand. Destroying the Seven Stars is your mission. None of my colleagues would have a chance against your Melodious deck…and I'm afraid I simply can't allow that."

"Say what?!" I made to call an attack with Schuberta, but Camula pounced forward and grabbed my wrist, covering the distance between us in a second.

"Forget the damn card game! Forget turning you into a vampire! You deserve to be killed by ME!" Her other hand plunged toward my neck, her fingernails sharp and poised to rip out my throat.

However, a moment before her hand could reach my neck, a golden barrier materialized, protecting my body and causing her hand to bounce off harmlessly. My spirit key glowed brightly, protecting me reflexively. The gold energy emanating from the key created a sort of cocoon around my body, keeping me totally insulated from any damage.

Camula sharply withdrew her hands, hissing in pain. I dimly noticed welts forming on her formerly flawless fingers – the key's shield must have burnt her! But how and why would the spirit key protect me? Was it some kind of self-preservation instinct? I certainly don't remember anything like this happening in canon, but then again none of the canon key keepers were ever physically assaulted, due to it being a kid's show about card games and all. I trembled, dimly realizing how close I was to death.

"AUGGHHH!" Her wails echoed through the empty castle. "How?!"

"You broke the rules of the game, it seems. The spirit keys must only be able to be won in a proper duel, not by force. But it doesn't matter, because this game is over! Schuberta, attack her directly!"

"~IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE, TAKING IS TOO EASY, BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS~" The red-cloaked idol belted out another Spice Girls chorus, ending the match. I guess it wasn't technically a Disney song…still I gotta figure out how to get my own playlist rocking here. (Jamie 1500/Camula 0)

The girls gave me smiles and winks before disappearing, leaving me unsure as to how real they were…were they duel spirits, mere holograms, or something else? I had no idea. But they sure came in handy here. It was nice to know that I could rely on these cards when the chips were down, even though I still didn't know how they traveled to this dimension with me. But more pressing matters demanded my attention, namely Camula, who was on her knees in defeat. I stood over her, a look of contempt on my face.

"I guess I can't blame you for trying to kill me…a cornered bat will show its fangs. But unfortunately for you, when it comes to duels of darkness, the power of life and death is in the hands of the victor alone…and that victor is me." I said in a low growl.

She said nothing, glaring at me with a seething rage. "Get on with it, then. I will not tell you anything about my master or the other Shadow Riders, but you can rest assured that Kagemaru escaped from this place. And now that he knows a bit more about your true deck…he can prepare for it. If you want to live, you'll bow before him." She literally spat at my feet.

"Camula, I like to be a nice guy. I really do. But all of these threats kinda make me want to see you erased from existence. Come to think of it, if our positions were reversed, you would probably have killed me already. So give me one good reason why I shouldn't destroy you." I said. See, I'm a reasonable guy!

"Damn you! One day, vampires will walk the earth again, and you pitiful meatbags will be used as nothing more than livestock, you smug little bastard! We'll see how well your pithy little one-liners serve you then!" She snarled as her body began to fade away, her life force being scattered to the four winds.

"Sorry, looks like humans win this round, no garlic required. And one more thing…" I looked directly into her hate-filled eyes. "I'm Team Jacob."

Camula screeched as her body turned into light, bursting apart like a million fireflies. The sexy vampire was erased from existence. The trace of her that remained was the bronze choker, her Shadow Charm. I reached down to pick it up. "At least there's proof that I took her down. The others will want to see this." I muttered to myself.

She was scary, I'll give her that. I grasped at my neck, feeling lucky that it was unharmed. She really tried to kill me and would have succeeded if not for the Spirit Key's built-in home security system. That's definitely something I have to fill in the others about as well.

I heard rumblings from the upper floors and felt a trickle of dust hit my shoulder. This place really was about to go to shit. I didn't know how large the building was, but the fact that the Melodious Divas were the cause of it coming down was pretty incredible.

I bounded up the spiral staircase three steps at a time. All the while, bricks fell around me, and I was fortunate that none hit me. At the top of the stairs, I kicked open a door to find myself in what appeared to the central atrium of the castle. To the north, a staircase diverged and led to two separate wings. I probably didn't want to go that way. I looked to the south and saw a huge wooden door that hopefully would get me to the outside. Hustling over, I attempted to open the door, but twisting the knob didn't work. Neither did pushing or pulling. The door was too thick to break down and I didn't want to waste time jimmying the lock, so I looked away. Sprinting over to a window, I saw that I was on the ground floor. Good. However, there were no heavy objects around I could break the window with- aha! A few bricks fell from the ceiling. Waiting a few moments to make sure nothing else fell, I hurried over, grabbed a brick, and hurled it through the window. I looked over to find that there was a short drop below the window, where some shrubs awaited.

Taking care not to cut myself on the jagged glass still attached to the window frame, I slowly maneuvered my way through the broken window. Soon, I was hanging from the outside edge of the sill. Gritting my teeth, I let myself fall into the bush.

Sadly, it was a rose bush. My shirt, back, and arms were torn up by the shrub's thorns and extricating myself was an equally painful process. Luckily, my duel disk and cards didn't get caught in the thicket and remained undamaged as a result. "Damn…" I steadily pulled at the stickers I could find, most being situated in my back. I couldn't reach some of them, though.

Looking up at the starry night, I saw a lone helicopter cross the sky. I'd bet Kagemaru was in there…damn, he was so close! I could've finished off the leader of the Shadow Riders had I defeated Camula quicker!

But as I looked at the Shadow Charm, a sense of accomplishment persisted. Camula had been defeated, and without the opportunity to play her Illusion Gate, no less! This means that Zane was probably going to keep his key, and that meant that the Sacred Beasts were going to remain sealed. As long as everything goes according to plan, we should be fine…although nothing ever goes according to plan.

But I was getting ahead of myself. As I gazed around the foreign countryside, I wondered where I was and how I was going to get back to the island. Where in the world am I?

A/N

Hope you all enjoyed.

The blueballing is over! Jamie Lancaster has finally used his Melodious Diva deck, and it made rather short work of Camula. The Melodious deck is powerful for the time period, but Jamie can't really use in public for obvious reasons, making it a sort of Ikkaku's Bankai type of situation if you guys have ever read Bleach. It sure makes for a nice trump card(s) in times like this, although it seems the girls like to annoy Jamie by playing Disney songs and Spice Girls. In the future, however, Jamie might not have the luxury of being by himself, and may have to choose between using the Melodious deck or using his public deck. But that's a story for another time…

Camula is actually a pretty cool character in my opinion, and I kinda wanted to use her more in the future, but in the end, I decided on sixin' her. She didn't really get to show off her cards' full potential, but such is life. She really didn't seem like the type of person who could be redeemed in either sub or dub.

One more thing – thank you all for your continued readership as always. Next chapter will catch us up with some of the other characters – The Chazz may even make an appearance!