Never in his life, had he felt such an intense bitterness, not even when his parents had been brutally slaughtered by Hao. He gritted his teeth and clenched his knuckles. Hao, that menace.

He had been sitting on that rock alone for hours now, weeping and at lost of what to do.

Maiden Jeanne. He wasn't even sure if she was still alive, after all that strain she had put herself through. And it seemed, all he could do now was to pray…

I've lost them.

The X-Laws. He had lost sight of them the moment they entered the gate of Babylon.

Morphine. He had long since… replaced her, if that was the right word to use. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for having abandoned his loyal spirit for Zuruel. But it was all so he could get stronger. She'd understand that, wouldn't she?

Yoh and the gang. He bit his lower lip. They were no longer his allies… nor his friends, he added with bitterness. Who would forgive someone who had betrayed them more than once? Not even himself, he realized.

I've lost their trust.

"Lyzerg!" He tensed immediately. The voice was huskier than usual, but he recognized it right away. He rose, though his back was still to the man.

"Lyzerg," the voice repeated, quieter now. Blood had begun oozing out from the fresh cuts his nails were digging into his palms. "Let me just ask you one thing," the voice continued.

"Those tears of regret and worry," his voice wavered and he cleared his throat, "are for Master Yoh and the others right?" There was a sharp intake of breath, as Lyzerg shut his eyes, willing the tears to stop.

I can't go back now.

"You're wrong!" he spun around, "these are tears of worry for our Mistress Jeanne!" he spat. And the moment the last words tumbled from his lips, something went off in his left chest. His arm shot up, but he caught it immediately. He couldn't, he wouldn't take back those words.

I'm sorry.

"Are you serious?" his head was lowered now.

I've betrayed you. I… I just can't…

"I'm an X-Law member!" he hissed. He sure as hell was, for he dug his foot into the ground as he said so, intent on keeping up the unwavering demeanor. "I don't regret trying to offer Yoh to the gate of Babylon!" Another stab, but he ignored it this time.

Time and time again, I repaid your kindness with hatred.

"Lyzerg," his voice had lost its confidence, as he turned to leave.

I'm sorry I disappointed you.

"Even so," he paused, "I'll still believe in you. Always."