Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe or Murphy's Laws...

Opening Author's Notes: I have no clue where the idea for the backstory of this part came from...

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A Greenshirt's Guide To G.I. Joe Life

By J.T. Magnus, Turbo

Part Four: Supplies

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Subj: G.I. Joe Team Daily Announcement

Time: 1436Z

The Command Staff and the Kitchen Staff would both like to request that whoever keeps taking all of the donuts to please stop doing so. Those are there for EVERYONE, people. We know it's not Zarana or Zandar since it's the chocolate-frosted donuts, not the jelly donuts that are being taken, so don't bother trying to accuse them.

We WILL be launching an investigation into these repeated thefts!

Sparks.

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Personal Journal; Turbo.

Can you believe that they accused me of stealing the chocolate donuts? ME? ME, Major John T. Magnus, "Turbo"!

I must be slipping, two years ago, no one would even have noticed they were missing until days later. Of course, there was only a dozen or so of us two years ago, so it was easier to hide since there were longer periods of time between when people wanted the donuts...

Hey, you know I'm a bit addicted to those things.

Thank God that I've gotten good at bluffing, otherwise I would've been caught years ago. It helps to be blatant about it, no one notices when the XO walks right out of the mess hall with a box or two of donuts in hand. Of course, with more Joes that also means there's more inquisitive members as well. I wound up spending a good part of the day being as far away from the Mess Hall as possible, excluding the 'investigation' as part of the Command Staff.

Now this journal entry will be faxed to my apartment back in Georgia and all traces of it here at the Pit will be eliminated.

Admit nothing and destroy the evidence, two of the most important rules of breaking the rules.

Now let's see... which one of the Greenshirts has gotten farthest on my bad side this week?...

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Personal Journal; Athena.

Turbo's not as smart as he thinks he is. No one innocent goes that far out of their way to look it, if he wanted people to think he didn't take the donuts, he should have hung around the mess hall all day like everyone else was doing. Of course, if anyone asks him about it, he reminds them that he's part of the Command Staff and is having someone look into it.

First thing anyone looking into it should do is have Lifeline look into the contents of that jerk's stomach.

That's him, deny everything.

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Ghostrider was leaning against the wall as he informed Turbo of what he had found.

"Interesting how you knew that there'd be empty boxes in Private McMichaels' barracks," he added with a raised eyebrow when he finished.

"Yeah, interesting."

"By the way, you have chocolate on your lip."

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Murphy's Law of Warfare: Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof, then blame a Private.

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Author's Closing Notes: Yes, I know, for a character who's supposed to fade into the background Ghostrider gets a lot of usage in my stories... What can I say? I like the guy. I mean, who HASN'T wanted to disappear in school?

Review Responses:

Tirya King: I know, I was just warning you in case you were reading other G.I. Joe fanfics and were wondering where some of the characters were.

K.A. Maples: Droll I take it you think the story's funny?

trecebo: Yeah, a fellow member of Joeland gave me some good ideas for pranks to play on Beachhead, then I decided to turn a few of them around and let Beachhead have his revenge.

MariaShadow: Too true, too true.