Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe or it's associated characters... but if Hasbro ever decides to sell, you can bet I'll try to...
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A Greenshirt's Guide To G.I. Joe Life
By J.T. Magnus, "Turbo"
Part Thirteen: Alcohol
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Three of the members of the elite "G.I. Joe" task force stood in a darkened room, gathered over a collection of containers and tubes baring a clear liquid that was slowly bubbling. Their names were J.T. Magnus, and Dwight and Thomas Stall, codenamed Turbo, Barrel Roll and Black-Out, respectively. At the end of one tube, the liquid gathered and Turbo let some of it fill his glass, then took a sip. Suddenly, he shook his head back and forth rapidly.
"You okay?" Barrel Roll asked.
"If it wasn't for my healing factor, I think I'd be dead right now."
"That's a GOOD sign," Black-Out commented.
"Yeah," Turbo agreed before taking a couple more sips, each going down easier than the last.
Then he looked at the other two and nodded before taking a large gulp. That caused him to collapse against one of the walls.
"Oh, yeah, it's ready."
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The next day, Tomahawk and Sparks were discussing the reclusive, even for him, habits Turbo had taken up the last few days.
"I swear, General, that he was saying something to Barrel Roll about his mutant power and getting drunk."
"Sparks, he's your cousin, right?"
"Distant on our mothers' sides, sir."
"What do you think he's up to?"
"General, sir, this is Turbo we're talking about, remember?"
Tomahawk shook his head and rested it against his palm, "You're right, Corporal. Even only a few months has taught me that he's nuts."
"Turbo to all personnel, please report to the surface courtyard... This means YOU, Jim. You and Sparky can stop talking about me and just come up here and find out what I've been doing."
The two of them looked down at their Gauntlets.
"He scares me at times."
"You? How do you think I feel? I'm related to him."
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On the surface level of the Chaplain Assistants' Supply Depot, an interesting sight was standing beneath the flag. The major and two specialists were dressed in clothing like the nineteen-thirties with barrels behind them and a table of cups in front of them.
Finally, after Tomahawk and Sparks had made their way to the front alongside Athena, Beachhead and others, Turbo spoke...
"Twenty days from now is Christmas, but today is almost as important a date in history..."
"Pearl Harbor?" One of the Greenshirts asked, confused.
"No, Murph, that's the seventh. Today's the fifth," Private McMichaels commented next to him.
"Correct, today is December Fifth... seventy years ago, this was a day that changed the nation..."
For several seconds, glances and muttered possibilities were passed throughout the gathered Joes and Greenshirts.
"...December Fifth, Nineteen-Thirty: The day the Twenty-First Amendment to the Constitution was signed," Black -Out picked up.
"Repeal of Prohibition," Barrel Roll finally explained.
With the mystery solved, laughter rippled through the group.
"Pick up a glass and drink to drinking," Barrel Roll said.
"And if you're Captain or lower in rank, that's an order," Turbo joked.
Even with three people serving, it took over half an hour before everyone had managed to get a drink and disperse into their seperate groups. After that, Tomahawk approached Turbo to talk.
"How'd you know, Tom?"
"I don't act like I normally do for a few days and if people aren't suspicious then I get suspicious, Jim."
"Well," Tomahawk said, looking at his cup, "You have a point there."
"Oh, I forgot, you don't drink, do you?"
Tomahawk smiled at the younger Joe, "I think I can this time, Tom. After all, we need all the little distractions from this fight we can get, don't we?"
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Murphy's Law of Warfare: Beer Math -- 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
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Author's Notes: I admit, I was inspired by watching "The Great Escape", but since G.I. Joe is a primarily American unit, Independence Day wouldn't be so easily forgotten, then the answer came to me in the form of another prison camp: Stalag 13 instead of Stalag 3B. Hogan's Heroes and "Today's one of our national holidays; repeal of Prohibition". The hard part of it all was finding out what the date was when the 21st Amendment was signed into law.