Challenge #80: A list
Author: Ann (chrystalsandsnowflakes)
Title: Home is where…
Rating: (G to NC-17) G
Spoilers/Warnings: 2nd part after 'questions asked and answered' (challenge # 79)

Summary: Ranger is doing an inventory of his life (song fic)

Home is where…

With a deep sigh Ranger relaxed into the nice first class seat of the airplane. He just finished a long week of travelling and doing business in all of his offices around the country. Rangeman was negotiating a couple of big deals with several new clients, and he had wanted to supervise them all personally. 'Control freak' he thought to himself, and rewarded himself with a small smile for his judgement. 'Mr. Manoso, would you like something to drink before takeoff?' the stewardess asked him. He looked at her. The last thing that he wanted now was being continuously interrupted by young hormonal women. He had planned to use the flight to catch up on some much needed sleep, but during the years he had discovered that when you were a good looking man and travelling alone in first class, stewardesses felt the strong need to 'take good care' of him, which could have been fun if he would have been interested in that sort of thing. He wasn't, well to be quite honest, not anymore. The stewardess looked at him expectantly and he saw that she was a little bit older than the average 25 year old, more around 40 or so. She looked kindly at him, and he hoped that he could make his message clear without being blunt. 'No, thank you' he said. 'Would you like something else?' she asked him. 'No, I'm just want some eh… uninterrupted sleep' while he looked at her directly, hoping to send the right signals. He hoped he hadn't been too harsh. She smiled friendly at him and said: 'No problem, I will instruct the crew so that you will not be disturbed unnecessary. If you would like something later on, just push the button. Enjoy your flight, mr. Manoso' He smiled thankfully at her and said 'thank you'.

After takeoff he settled in and put the headset in his ears for the radio. He usually listened to something classical in planes to relax, but while he was channel surfing he heard the soft opening tones of a song and decided to listen on. He closed his eyes and focused on the lyrics.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

He was looking forward to going home. Tonight he would drive the Porsche back to his house, 'the batcave' as the girls in the office called it. He smiled at that thought. Even though he was tired as hell and the plane would land somewhere in the middle of the night, he looked forward to sleeping in his own bed again.

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

Thinking about the office brought to think about Stephanie, and her absence from the office. He missed her. She made him feel at home in Trenton. All his life he had been 'the odd one out', being different from most. It had been a conscious choice most of the time, but it got lonely occasionally. Maybe there couldn't be a greater difference between two people as between him and Stephanie, but they were both the same in a way. They did not fit into a box. Although… He had seen the changes in Stephanie's life, how she had become more and more like the other Burg women. And he didn't feel that she looked happy about it lately.

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Often he had thought about talking to her, writing her a letter, anything at all to get her to open her eyes and see that what she was doing. That she was becoming the thing she always had disliked most: a Burg housewife. But he was in no position to talk to her about that. He had increased the distance between them considerably after she had moved in with Morelli. To her he had said that he didn't want to 'upset' anybody (meaning Morelli) and to his surprise she had accepted it very easily. If he was honest with himself he knew that he had done it to protect himself. He felt his heart crack when she told him about the proposal and completely break when she told him that she had accepted.

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

He smiled ironically at himself. Look at him, he was a very successful, good looking, thirty something business man. He could get almost any woman he wanted. And he could make the list of his achievements in life much longer if he wanted to. But here he was, sitting in a plane thinking about the one woman that he actually wanted, and she ruthlessly had married someone else. And he still couldn't get over her, he still longed to see her, to touch her. Way to go, Manoso!

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

Every time that he travelled around the country for business, he always made sure that the guys at the office kept him up to date about Stephanie's latest adventures. The calls had become less and less, because she had been doing less and less work for Vinnie. Tank had told him one night to 'nock it off and move on' but he couldn't. He only felt at home when she was around, being her unique self.

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

He had hoped that she would have stayed working for Rangeman after the whole Spiros/Stiva episode, but Morelli had wasted no time in getting her to quit. Ranger had big plans for her at Rangeman, increase her skills, expand her job, let her fly… But that was his dream for her. She had trusted him enough to accept the job, she believed he would keep her safe and he really thought that she had liked the work, but maybe that was just because he wanted that so bad, for her and for himself.

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

He felt cold inside since Connie had called him to say that Stephanie had quit for good to get a baby. It had sent chills down his spine and his heart had closed. He felt that he had lost her for good now that she wanted to carry Morelli's child.

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Lately he had been considering to leave Trenton for good. It had been hard (to say the least) to watch his Babe turn into a Cupcake. But seeing her with his child would finish him off. He didn't think he could cope with that. Maybe he should start considering selling his house. The house where he thought that he and Stephanie would… He sighed again. 'Let's not go there' he said to himself

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

God, how much he wanted Stephanie now, to just be there at his house waiting for him. To hold him, to make love to him. To give him a home… Something he only had when he had been much younger. He felt really tired. Even though he loved the business game, sitting in offices and meetings all week made him feel more tired than doing a couple of 'redecoration jobs' at night. Redecoration jobs… That word made him think of Stephanie again, because before her participation in one, the guys had used very different words to describe that line of work. Fuck, he was getting soft! Here he was getting all mushy inside over a song. He needed to get his act together, Tank had been right all those months ago. So he made a decision for himself and realised that he would have to call Tank first thing in the morning.

(Song: "Home" by MICHAEL BUBLE)

Please review! I hope to turn this into a longer story, using challenges as themes for each chapter. Please be patient to find out what decisions Ranger (and Stephanie in 'Questions asked and answered (challenge #79)) has made. I will try not to keep you waiting too long!