Disclaimer: I haven't mounted KOTOR II on my wall. My name isn't George Lucas. In other words, I don't own it.
Mira: Well that's a relief!
Imril: Shut up and kiss me, you babbling fool.
Mira: I love you, too, Imril. Hey did you hear about Atton and Handmaiden?
Imril: Really? Wait, did you hear that from the writer?
Mira: Yup.
Imril: ATTON! RUUUUUUNN!
Me: sigh I don't know why I bother.
Imril poked the hydrospanner gingerly at a sparking circuit, his brow creased in concentration. He found what he was looking for and gave the thermal unit a small adjustment with the tool; the sparking stopped. Closing the panel, he wiped the sweat from his forehead, leaving a patch of grime in its place. "Feel better?" he asked.
T3-M4 warbled the droid approximation of "Much better," then chattered an anxious question.
Shrugging, the Exile replied, "Of course I'm all right. I just feel…relaxed. Calm."
The droid's optic sensor turned a soft shade of blue and he whistled mournfully. Imril raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'I spaced out?'"
T3 merely looked up at him.
Imril shrugged again. "Guess I was just absorbed in the work, that's all." Giving the droid a friendly rap, he walked off. "Thanks for worrying, though."
T3 watched him go, then trundled off to tweak the engines, still chirping worriedly to himself.
Imril returned to the workshop part of the Ebon Hawk and returned the hydrospanner to Bao-Dur. The Iridonian took it and shoved it into a slot on his belt, nodding his thanks.
"I'm heading up to the cockpit for a game of Pazaak with our fearless pilot. Care to join us?"
"No thanks, General," was the Iridonian's quiet reply. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Imril walked out. Returning to his work, he waited until sure the Exile was out of earshot, then spoke. "Did you want something, Mira?"
Detaching herself from the shadows around the other bulkhead door, the red-haired bounty hunter sauntered in and leaned on the workbench behind him. "I heard you served under the Exile at Malachor V."
The Iridonian nodded, still tapping away at his console and failing to expand on the subject.
Impatiently, Mira crossed her arms. "Well? What was he like back then?"
"I only served with him during Malachor V. I had only heard of him by reputation along with Reven and Malak." Bao-Dur turned and gazed at her, his golden orange eyes hard and unblinking. "Why do you want to know? Looking for a weakness to exploit so you can haul him in for the bounty?"
Raising her hands, she gave him a defensive look. "Whoa. Relax." She lowered her hands as she continued. "In case you forgot, he saved my life back on Nar Shaddaa, so I've gone off the idea. I just…" the bounty hunter struggled to find the words. "…have this odd feeling about him. He doesn't look like he could be this former great leader and yet, when you talk to him he seems to know a lot about people's hearts…"
"Like yours"
Mira glared at him. That was answer enough for the Iridonian. Mira crossed her arms angrily. "You were listening!" she accused.
Bao-Dur shook his head in amusement. "No, you simply look the same way I felt when I talked to him. I take it the subject was one you had never discussed with anyone before?"
Lowering her eyes, the bounty hunter nodded.
"I couldn't do it, Imril. I couldn't kill Hanharr even though I had a feeling he'd come after me again."
Imril scratched his bearded chin thoughtfully. "Well, that's good."
"Good?!" A confused look came over Mira's face. "I should have killed him to make sure he didn't return, right?"
Slowly, the Exile shook his head. "It would have been too easy to do so. He was helpless, yes. One major complication would have been taken care of if you had, yes. However, once you kill someone, the next time you are presented with the opportunity, it becomes easier to think that killing is easier and more logical. Strength, true strength, arises from the restraint you place upon yourself."
And for many days afterwards, no matter how she had tried to scoff at the idea as do-gooder Jedi jargon, she could not escape the feeling that he was right.
She snapped out of the memory to see Bao-Dur still looking at her, obviously waiting for her to speak. Mira shrugged. "Like I said, he knows people's hearts. I can't explain it any better than that."
"There is something else, isn't there." It was not a question.
All the carefully hidden resentment finally broke out. "Yes," she growled. "How could he have given the order at Malachor V? If he is so noble about not killing, why did he do it?!" She was shouting now, but did not care, feeling satisfied when she saw Bao-Dur flinch.
The Iridonian turned away. "Ask him yourself. I know and I understand but you should hear it from him alone. Know this, Mira," he continued, his voice becoming stern. "I trusted him then and I trust him now. He will always be the one I follow, not matter what." Bao-Dur began to punch more commands into the computer.
Taking the hint, Mira was about to leave when she noticed the long metal cylinder hanging from the Iridonian's belt. Was that -
"Yes. The general taught me how to be a Jedi." Bao-Dur did not turn as he answered her unspoken question.
What is this feeling of envy? wondered Mira. She strode from the room and went to the small cargo compartment in the lounge to brood. What is it with Imril, anyway? The Handmaiden follows him around like a puppy, but he treats her like he would any friend or sister. Same with Visas, though whenever he's with her, you know where she's looking under that mask… I'm the only one who hasn't made my move to get his attention. Well…apart from knocking him out and stealing his environment suit, that is. After all, I'm only a bounty hunter, not an Echani expert or ex-Sith.
Footsteps could be heard coming from the cockpit. Not wanting to appear worried about something, the bounty hunter took out a half-completed grenade and began to work on it, sitting on the floor of the compartment.
The Exile entered and began to speak to GOTO, the fat, hovering torture droid they had picked up on Nar Shaddaa. The bounty hunter watched Imril out of the corner of her eye, running her gaze over his robed form, his emerald green eyes, the dark blond hair and beard, and the chiseled features. Were he not a Jedi, he could have easily passed for a hero on the holo-vids, one that comes riding up on the Tauntaun and saves the lost Alderaanian princess from the Wampa.
Abruptly, she looked back at her work and scowled. Why was she admiring that hypocrite? The realization that she hand put a sensor in backwards deepened her frown. Eyes on your work, young lady, she thought. If you were still with the Mandalorians, you'd been shot for carelessness. She replaced the tiny sensor.
"Did you enjoy the view?" A voice made her jump and nearly set off the detonator. The Exile stood just outside the compartment, looking down at her with a mischievous grin on his face.
"You think you're so clever, don't you, Spoonbender?" she snapped, furious at herself for blushing. Refusing to meet his gaze, the bounty hunter continued to build her grenade. I should have lied and pretended I wasn't looking at him. Why is he making such a big deal of it anyway? The Handmaiden certainly does her share of ogling.
Imril rolled his eyes and crouched down. "All right, assuming that I am not clever enough to know what you are talking about, tell me what's wrong. You're acting like a Tusken Raider without his morning stim-tea."
Provoked, Mira raised her eyes and glared into his. "Who are you to be telling others not to kill when you – at Malachor V - .." She couldn't finish.
"Oh, I see. That."
"Yes. That," she snarled, irritated by the way he was taking this so calmly.
His eyes showed pain, but also a sense of peace. "What you say is true: I did kill people when there may have been better ways to handle the situation."
"Well – …"
"But," continued Imril softly. "It is a thing I have regretted everyday since then. Sometimes, my emotion coupled with its memory nearly gets the better of me and the dark side of the force looks all the more tempting because of my choice. To release my regret…to be unrestrained…to kill thousands once more…" He closed his eyes and gripped his fighting sabers tightly. "I do not want anyone to become like I have." He opened his eyes again. "Least of all you."
She had completely forgotten the grenade in her hand; she could but stare into his eyes, wondering why he cared so much for her. Little treacherous thoughts nudged her, whispering, But that's what you want, isn't it Mira? Someone to protect you, to care for you…
To love you.
Without warning, Imril reached out his hand, wrapping it around her hand that held the grenade. With the touch of his callused palm, a rich warmth swept up her arm and across her whole body. Despite the heat, she shivered, unable to tear her gaze from his eyes, the twin forest pools reflecting the green leaves of the trees above them.
Then, the touch was broken as he took the grenade from her. "Be careful, Mira," he whispered.
The bounty hunter's gaze shot down to the detonator and her eyes widened. Between the fuse and the activation coil, the Exile's finger lay, preventing certain death. Imril snapped off the coil, disarming the explosive. "Oops," he said in a normal voice. "Looks like you'll have to start all over again." He handed the parts back to her and stood up, striding off to the med bay.
For a long time, Mira stared at the broken grenade, at the first time she had ever lost her concentration over an explosive device. Finally, she uttered a choice oath in Mandalorian, as the treacherous thoughts surfaced again and they had a great deal to say about Imril.
The Ebon Hawk settled on the landing pad at Nar Shaddaa, it's repulsors letting off jets of steam.
Atton did a post-flight check, his skilled fingers dancing over the controls. "Remind me again why we're here?" he asked, looking over at Imril sitting in the copilot's seat.
"Just a few matters of unfinished business. Geeda needs to know about the Mandalorians on Dxun," replied Imril, getting up.
"Have fun. I'm going to get a drink."
Imril raised an eyebrow. "Then leave your lightsaber here. We can't have any repeats of last time."
Looking injured, Atton began to protest. "Hey, those Twi'leks were trying to kill me!"
"Judging by how many tables you sliced apart before you finally defeated them, it's a wonder you were even sober enough to fight at all." With that, Imril left the cockpit.
Mira met him in the lounge. "Imril," she began, but he interrupted, listing on his fingers. "Kreia's being grumpy and staying here, Handmaiden and Visas are arguing over something, GOTO wants to visit a contact over at the swoop track, HK-47 is staying here whether he wants to or not due to his berserk tendencies, Atton is being Atton and wants a drink, Bao Dur and T3 are doing exterior repairs," he took a breath and finished. "And I have to see a Rodian about some Mandalorians. What about you?"
"Caught off guard by the flow of information, the bounty hunter looked flustered. "Well, I, um, hoped I could talk to you about something."
"Fair enough. Come with me and let's go visit Geeda. We can talk on the way."
Surprisingly, the refugee sector was not bustling with the usual activity so it took less time to talk with Geeda than they had expected due to the lack of customers. They began to walk back to the ship, taking their time and admiring the stars were just visible overhead despite the city lights. Imril turned to Mira, who had yet to say a word to him since they left the ship. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Mira stopped and leaned on a nearby guardrail overlooking a vast shaft in the middle of the refugee sector. At the bottom, the planet of Nal Hutta glowed, slowly turning as Nar Shaddaa orbited it. "I'm sorry for bringing up a painful subject awhile ago," she said finally, not meeting his eyes but watching the planet below.
"It's all right. I should have told you as well." He leaned on the guardrail next to her, also watching the planet. A strange, enticing scent tickled his nostrils. "'Tatooine Dawn,'" he commented. "Nice."
Blast, thought Mira. I wonder why I even wore the stuff, now. It had been a last minute impulse before talking to him on the ship, a bit of perfume left over from a past bounty hunt.
"Are you going to tell me the rest or shall I be forced to dangle you over the side until you do?" The Exile shot her a sly glance.
Mentally, the bounty hunter swore at the fool who discovered Jedi perception. "Well," she began reluctantly, then changed the subject. "Have you ever noticed how Nar Shaddaa thrives? It almost seems as though it has a life to it…"
Knowing that she had steered the topic away from her true thoughts but letting it be for now, the Exile nodded. "Kreia taught me to reach out with my mind, to feel the massive life that is collected here. It is overwhelming."
"Yeah, well I wouldn't go that far. It's just something you can't help but feel as you stand here or anywhere on this moon."
Looking closely at her, Imril was silent for a moment. "Would you like to feel it as I do? To see each ripple in the wave of the force?" he asked in a low voice.
Surprised, she cocked her head. "I thought only Jedi could do that."
"You have force potential, Mira."
A tiny wild hope sparked within her, even as a skeptical look came to her face.
Imril continued, "When you were making the grenade, you were unconsciously holding the detonation and fuse wires apart with your mind. I only put my finger between them when you began to lose control. Also, it takes one with the force to feel the life on this moon."
Her disbelief fading, Mira continued to look at him. "Will you teach me, then?"
Imril nodded. "Close your eyes, Mira."
With a sigh, she obeyed. "If this is a trick, I'm going to clobber you," she threatened.
She heard the smile in his voice as he replied. "Reach out with your mind. See the Force of each being, scattered, divided…" For a moment, she could see only the blackness. Then, a faint outline of light appeared. She focused upon it and it became brighter and brighter until she distinguished it as the life force of a person on the walkway on the other side of the shaft. Others began to appear, all around her, until there were too many to count.
The Exile's voice seemed to come from all around her, as though he spoke to her within her mind. "Look closer. See the Force flowing around their lives…" A shimmering transparent curtain of light appeared, waving and ebbing around each life force. It seemed to approach her, to invite her.
"Immerse yourself within it. Feel every tide and tremor." The curtain whirled over her, bringing the sound of a million voices to her ears and the feeling of a thousand emotions to her mind, the sound of Nar Shaddaa in the Force. Never before had it sounded as intense as this.
Mira opened her eyes, gasping in surprise, but the images remained and the emotion and sound did not die. A Trandoshan walked past, giving her a disinterested glance, unaware of the light that swirled around him. The bounty hunter fell to her knees, holding her head in her hands. "I can feel this…planet… It's louder now…it hurts. All these people…"
Immediately, Imril knelt next to her, putting a comforting hand upon her shoulder. "Steady, Mira. It will not go away, but you can control your reaction to it." His life force was a soft and soothing glow to her exposed mind. Without a second thought, she embraced him, her face buried in his shoulder, sobbing in exhaustion.
"I want to become a Jedi," she choked out. "I want to become strong, like you. I don't ever want to feel weak like that again." Never before had she felt so safe and at peace than in his arms.
Imril held her, stroking her crimson hair gently. "What else, Mira?" he asked quietly. "What else do you want?"
Slowly, the ex-bounty hunter pulled away slightly and gazed deep into his eyes, not bothering to wipe away her tears. "You," she blurted out defiantly. There, she thought. I said it. She lowered her gaze, embarrassed.
A hand cupped her chin and gently raised it so that their eyes met once again. Tenderly, he wiped her tears away. "Love is not easy, especially for a Jedi," he said.
"Is it any worse than being a slave to Mandalorians? Any worse than having a half crazed beast chase me across the galaxy?" Mira blinked back a tear. "Because I've been there."
"Only the strongest Jedi dare to fall in love, Mira."
Longing filled her heart, giving her determination. "Then I guess it's up to me to become strong, isn't it?"
The Exile smiled, all the love that Mira had for him reflected in his eyes. "And it is up to me, my love, to teach you how to be strong as well." He drew her closer and their lips met. Around them, their life force danced and mingled, burning more brightly than the rest. Indeed, the force surrounding the stars dimmed in reverence for a power greater than itself – the power of love.