-1The Mystery Machine was driving along happily in a dark evil forest where people probably get killed and ripped to itty bitty pieces. But the occupants didn't really give a shit, as they were going to Woodstock 2. But they actually thought it was just Woodstock, because after countless times of smoking weed it felt like it was still the sixties.
"Like, I have craving for munchies, man!" shouted Shaggy.
"Fred, I think you should slow down" Velma said in uncertainty. "It's pretty dark out and we might crash into something."
"Relax Velma" Fred replied "nothing is going to happen!"
Daphne screamed "we're falling off a cliff!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thump!
"Zoinks!" zoinked Shaggy "that was close!"
Daphne screamed "we're falling off another cliff!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
BOOM!
Everyone got out of the overturned Mystery Machine and looked at the damage. The windows were broken, the doors were bent, the tires were flat, and the vehicle exploded for no reason whatsoever.
"Roly rit!" said Scooby-Doo "rat rucks rass!"
"Look gang!" Fred said (LOL RHYME) "it's a mansion."
Yes. Strangely enough the gang has crash landed next to a mansion. And not just any mansion, no sir, it was a haunted one! They knew it was haunted because there was a sign saying 'HAUNTED HOUZ. BOO! NOW GTFO.'
Did the gang listen? Of course not! If they did then this fanfic would suck more than it already does!
"Alright" Fred spoke to the others, who were now in the mansion "we have a mystery on our hands! We have to see if this house is really haunted or not. If it's not, then we take all it's valuables! Let's split up gang!"
Fred, Daphne and Velma took the left side of the house, while Shaggy and Scooby took the right.
Shaggy, before everyone leaves, asks "why do you always have Scooby and me go alone all the time?"
Fred answers "because I'm a lady's man, now move your scrawny ass, boy!"
So the two groups left and went searching the house, unaware a ghost was watching them. But enough about that, Shaggy and Scooby happen to come across a kitchen. They find a fridge and open it, revealing old and stale and rotten and moldy and just plain freaking gross food that only complete morons would even think about putting that crap in their mouths.
"Wanna chow down, Scoob?" Shaggy said in excitement.
"Ruck reah!" the dog said in agreement.
They first started with a jar of mayonnaise. When they opened it, the mayonnaise was alive!
"I am free at last!" said the icky substance "now after a thousand years of imprisonment, I will finally destroy this world and-"
Scooby shoved the whole thing in his mouth and swallowed it. "Relicious" he burped. And then he and his friend went after the rest of the food.
Meanwhile, Velma lost Fred and Daphne and was lost in the mansion. To make matters worse, she lost her glasses!
"Oh, I swear to god I it's the fifteenth damn time I lost them in this week" Velma grunted to herself "THIS WEEK!"
Little did she know while she kneeled down to find her glasses, THE GHOST WAS BEHIND HER!
'Score!' the ghost thought to himself as he unzipped his pants.
"Oh here they are" said Velma as she put them on. She turned around and yelled "jinkies!" before running away with the ghost following after her. The girl happen to run into Fred and Daphne.
"There's a ghost after me!" Velma panicked.
"You mean that ghost right behind you?" the other female asked pointing over Velma.
"YES!" Velma shrieked as she moved behind Fred.
Fred looked at the ghost a bit and said "your not that scary. In fact, you look like a pansy!"
"Oh yeah?" the ghost replied before pulling out a gun "how about now?"
"RUN THE FUCK AWAY!" cried Freddy as the girls and him ran away. As they ran, they pasted by their two friends.
"Like, what's there problem?" Shaggy asked.
When he and Scoob saw the ghost they followed after the others in fear. NOW CUE THE CHASE MUSIC!
Yo Scrappy's in da house! Let's get this motherfucking started!
Scooby and those crackas go on trip
To find some ghoulies and monsters and shit,
They solves mysteries by finding clues and figure
That the monster haunting is a cosplaying wigga,
Scooby is can talk and is a total wimp
But give him Scooby Snacks and he's supa pimp!
Scooby Dooby Doo where the fuck are you?
You can't be such a wussy,
Scooby Dooby Doo where the fuck are you?
Or else can't get pussy!
PEACE OUT, BITCHES!
After going through a hallway with doors that have no logic to them, the gang lose the ghost.
Fred speaks "we need to capture that ghost!"
Scooby asks "row ra ruck re ronna ro rat?"
Velma answers "I already got a plan. First we-"
"BLARGH!" says the ghost near a stairway "I'm going to kick your- OH SHIT!" The ghost slips on something and falls down the stairs. Then a chandelier fell on it.
"Or that works as well" Velma said in confusion.
"Now let's see who the ghost really is!" Fred shouted as he took off the mask to reveal…
"OLD MAN POOPYPANTS?!?!"
"That's right!" declared old man Poopypants, "I am the ghost! And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids and your homosexual dog!"
"RUCK RY RALLS, RAGGOT!" Scooby shouted in anger.
"So why did you scare people away from here?" Velma asked.
"Why, you ask?" said Poopypants "BECAUSE I'M CRAZY! ADYGDYYUWR78CV76DAR64F6C Ar3eq346fr9r59qf5r9 9w5wfv!!!!!!!" Then he died.
So the gang took the old man's car and went to Woodstock 2, and they lived happily ever after.