A/N: Who knew that writing consistently was not all that easy? I don't think I've ever written this much for any single thing, even in school. But here it is! Enjoy the Emma/Regina moment to your heart's content.
Emma's POV
Putting on her normal clothes feels like more of a chore, this morning. For some reason, they don't seem comfortable anymore; like they belonged to someone else. Perhaps that was now true. After all, she was the Dark One, and could feel the darkness creeping into her heart more and more. It was like throwing a ball of snow down a hill: it became bigger and bigger the more traction it gained.
Annoyingly, she hadn't been able to sleep last night— Nadie said it was a Dark One thing— so she decided to wander the mansion. While she was downstairs, Emma saw Regina and Robin together, just sitting and leaning against each other. It sent a strong pang through her heart, and brought some tears to her eyes. Before she could think about why, Emma rushed up the stairs. Of course, Nadie was waiting at the top to capitalize on her pain.
"What, you didn't actually think she cared about you? You had to have known she would go back to that man, not even giving you a small 'thanks'." She smiled cruelly. Emma shook her head and glared, "She does care, she's been searching non-stop to find a way to save me." She had to focus on that, and not the growing pain in her heart.
"No, she's doing it because you're a threat."
"She knows I'm not going to hurt anyone!"
"Yeah? Then why hasn't she taken off the cuff? Why hasn't she mentioned anything about the dagger? The one thing that can control you? "
Emma took in a sharp breath as a thought, not really her own, pushed its way into her head (it was a slimy, dirty kind of feeling; the kind of feeling that lingers and makes you shudder at the memory of it), 'She's hiding it from me. She doesn't trust me. I have to find it, now.' For a long moment that thought filled her, pushing out everything else, and caused her to take a step back down the stairs.
But as quickly as the thought came it disappeared, leaving Emma dizzy and disorientated. She managed to push past Nadie and stumble towards the guest room, simultaneously pushing thoughts of Regina in someone else's arms out of her mind. The rest of the night had passed much too slowly, and Nadie's unending comments about how Emma could make Regina trust her, or how if she gets the cuff off she can protect the ones she cares about, put Emma on edge. That likely was contributing to the problem she is having at the moment.
While she looked in the mirror Emma examined her clothes. It was her standard outfit: white tank top, jeans, and her red leather jacket; but no matter how she adjusted it, or how much she stared at herself, it just didn't feel the same, it didn't look the same with her now white hair. The uncomfortable feeling caused frustration to rise up in her, and in a moment of lost control she slammed her fist against the glass. It felt… almost good. Of course, that was the moment Regina decided to walk into the room.
She sighed and walked into the closet, coming to a stop behind Emma. There was a moment of silence as Regina studied the cracked mirror and Emma's appearance. With only the slightest sign of hesitation, Regina placed a hand on Emma's shoulder, looking into her eyes via the mirror.
Emma wondered what was going through the other woman's mind at that moment. Was it pity? Sympathy and understanding? Or something else entirely? In the end she didn't find out, for Henry called out at that moment, "Moms! I finished making the pancakes!" Regina jumped slightly at the noise, then pulled away with a small cough.
"We shouldn't keep him waiting, or he might just eat all of the pancakes by himself." She told Emma.
"Of course." Emma replied stiffly. They both walked downstairs in silence. When she passed by Nadie the other woman was chuckling coldly. Emma clenched her hand and tried to focus on the other people sitting at the table.
Snow, David, and Henry sat on one side while Robin and his son sat on the other. Everyone had pancakes on their plate, and were eating quietly. When they saw Emma and Regina there was an awkward moment where they all tried to stand up and greet them. It was nice, Emma felt. She could see that they had missed her while she was asleep, and that they weren't sure how to act now. But that was okay, because she wasn't sure how to act either.
Once she and Regina sat down, Henry began a conversation, and the adults engaged him. Emma was glad that he wasn't as burdened by the atmosphere as the rest of them are.
The food was eaten rather quickly, and as breakfast came to an end, Emma found herself faced with reality.
"I think I'm going to try and go to work today." She said. Everyone looked at her with a variety of expressions. Snow decided to speak first, "Emma, you've barely been awake a full day."
What they didn't know was that Emma had been up all night, with nothing to distract her from dark thoughts, or the feelings she wanted to ignore. "I know, but I can't just sit around doing nothing."
Snow, David, and Regina shared a look, and seemed to have a silent conversation. Emma almost released a growl, she was an adult, and as such could make decisions on her own.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Nadie moving.
The same slimy feeling from earlier pushed into her mind, 'None of them trust me. One wrong move and they'll betray me.' An angry smile started to creep onto her face as Emma's hand clenched around a knife she couldn't remember grabbing. Then the feeling faded and Emma could barely contain the growing horror at what she might have done with the knife.
"Emma." David's voice rang out next to her, pulling her from the thoughts circling her head. She jerked slightly and said, "Huh?"
"Did you hear what we said?"
Emma shook her head, "Sorry, I zoned out for a second." Snow and David nodded at the answer, satisfied; Regina, however, narrowed her eyes and glanced at the knife.
"We're not going to stop you from going to work. We just want you to take it easy, at least, and not over exert yourself." David continued.
"Good," Emma stood up, "Let's go then." Everyone else stood up, slightly put off by her intensity. "Okay. Me and David have to stop by the loft and grab some things, why don't you come with us and then we'll take you to work." Snow offered.
Emma was just about to accept her offer when Regina interrupted, "Emma's going to be taking Henry to school with me. Right, Emma?" Regina looked at her closely.
Emma shuffled and debated internally for only a few seconds, "Yeah." She turned to David, "I'll meet you at the station."
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For some reason, going outside made the uncomfortable feeling Emma was having grow. The sky was just a little too blue, the air was a little too thin, and she couldn't seem to stop her hands from clenching and unclenching. For all she knew, these strange feelings were caused by her nervousness; for all she knew it was a Dark One thing.
But Emma pushed that all aside and focused on waving goodbye to Henry. He had been holding onto her hand the whole walk, unable to let go for even a second out of the fear she might just disappear. It took Emma and Regina several minutes to convince him she would still be there when school got out, then another few minutes to get him to let go. It made Emma's heart clench painfully.
In truth, she didn't want to let go of him either. Her stomach dropped and her breathing became shallow and fast seeing him walk away. She knew her reaction didn't fit the situation, he wasn't in danger. Memories of him being hurt, of just disappearing, filled her mind, and she nearly ran after him; but in the end she was barely able to remind herself those things had never actually happened, had only been a trick from Nadie. They would never come true, not while she was around.
Once Henry was fully inside the school Regina turned and started walking away, expecting Emma to follow. She waited a few seconds before following, just to see if Regina would stop, but a sharp look from her friend got Emma moving again. As she caught up, Regina wasted no time in revealing what she wanted to talk about with Emma, "What happened at breakfast?"
Emma knew what she was talking about, but didn't really want to admit it. So she asked, "What do you mean?" Regina gave Emma a stern look, "You know what I mean. With the knife."
Emma didn't respond for a minute, then decided to go with what she said earlier, "Like I said, I just kinda zoned out." Regina came to a stop, then faced Emma.
"Perhaps, but we both know it was more than just that. I saw the look on your face."
Emma sighed and looked away. How can she explain what had happened in that moment? Would Regina just assume she's only pretending to be 'good Emma' and then lock her up?
'No. I know Regina, she wouldn't do that to me. The darkness just wants me to think otherwise.'
Deciding to trust Regina, Emma told the truth, "I'm… When… At that moment, I really did kind of zone out. It's just… I think the darkness was also doing something to me."
"Like what?" Regina asked softly.
Emma wrapped her arms around herself, more than a bit nervous. This seemed personal, for some reason, "It… it was like it put a thought in my head, made me feel something. I didn't even realize I had grabbed the knife till— it was like I woke up from a daydream."
Regina stepped closer to Emma, understanding shining in her eyes, "What did it make you think?" She asked. Emma looked back down, tears welling up in her eyes, "That… that you guys don't trust me, and you'll betray me."
Regina was still for a moment, her brown eyes watching Emma carefully, before she pulled her into a hug. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and hugged back.
"I cannot promise for anyone else, but me and Henry would never betray you. I'm sure your parents would not willingly do so either." Regina spoke softly. Emma gave a small squeeze in acknowledgement, "I know."
"Are you an idiot? All it takes is someone saying sweet words and you'll believe them?"
Emma sighed and buried her head into the crook of Regina's neck. Nadie's voice was annoying, and quickly becoming a constant in Emma's life. At that moment, Emma just wanted the bitch to leave.
"She still hasn't even mentioned the dagger. Probably saving it for the moment you mess up and do something she doesn't like." Nadie's voice was coming from right behind Regina, too close for Emma's liking. If Emma looked forward she would see the Dark woman.
Sighing, Emma pulled back and looked Regina in the eyes. "Regina… where is the dagger?"
Regina's eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting the question. Then she seemed to notice their prolonged closeness and took a step back. "I put it somewhere safe… Do you want it back?"
A powerful urge came over Emma at those words, she needed the dagger and not having it caused her stomach to drop. Her mouth was already forming the word 'yes' on it's own. Only through sheer willpower did she prevent herself from agreeing, and even then her hands were shaking and there was a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"No," Emma forced out, "I want you to keep it."
Simultaneously Regina and Nadie said, "What?" Well, Nadie actually shouted it, making Emma flinch slightly.
"But Emma…" Regina trailed off, not sure what to say.
"I just need you to promise that… if I lose control… if I truly become the Dark One, that you'll use that to stop me from hurting anyone." It was almost painful to say that, but she knew that there may come a time when it was necessary.
"You idiot! She's going to use it against you! You'll never be free as long as she has it!"
Emma ignored Nadie, focusing instead on Regina's expression. Her mouth was slightly open, eyes and eyebrows pushed together in a mix of confusion and awe. "Are you sure?" She asked quietly. Emma nodded, "I'm not sure if I can trust anyone else with it."
Regina stared at her incredulously, "But what about your parents?" Emma glanced around before bringing her eyes back to Regina, "We both know how blinded they can be when it comes to people they love."
Regina waited a moment before nodding slightly, "Of course."
Both women watched each other closely, neither wanting to break the moment between them. Emma noticed that the wind gently blew Regina's hair, and she wanted to reach out and brush it back. She very nearly did, but figured Regina might not be okay with that, so she just let her hands lay limply at her side. It's only when she noticed Regina's slight shiver did Emma interrupt the moment, "I should start heading to the station. I don't want to worry David." She stepped in the direction she was supposed to go.
Regina looked at her for another moment, then spoke, "Let me walk you there."
They walked the rest of the way in silence. Whenever they passed by another person Regina would put herself between Emma and them. But despite that, Emma still saw the looks people gave her: a mix between fear and sadness, like they had gained a monster but could remember the person it used to be. It made anger flare in Emma (she refused to acknowledge the slightest bit of pride she also felt), and she had to take many deep breaths to calm down.
She wouldn't allow anger to take over her, she couldn't if she wanted to stay herself
When they reached the police station Regina stopped outside, "I'll take it you can find your way?" Emma pulled open the door and smiled at Regina's words, "I think I can manage that." She faced Regina and paused halfway through the door, "I'll see you later Madam Mayor."
Then she closed the door and walked inside, making her way to her desk. A melancholic feeling came over her, but she shook herself and pushed on.
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It was only a couple hours later Emma realized she had forgotten one important thing about being Sheriff: if there wasn't a calamity there was really nothing for her to do. Of course there were people who committed regular crimes, it's just that it barely happened. As of right now, most of the not-so-good people were likely refraining from committing a crime solely because she was now the Dark One, and they didn't want to mess with her. By the end of the work day she was a bundle of excess energy: nervous, bored, and frustrated energy, which is not a good combination.
With a heavy sigh Emma threw another crumpled piece of paper into the almost overflowing trash basket. It hit the edge then fell to the floor. "Your aim is terrible, when are you going to finally realize that?" Nadie growled from the edge of Emma's desk. Emma groaned and leaned back in her seat, a thought of lighting the whole building and Nadie on fire sounding very appealing to her at the moment. A moment later she caught David's gaze out of the corner of her eye.
He had been glancing at her constantly all day, his worry evident, and it caused Emma's hands to clench in frustration. That, combined with Nadie's constant movement and barbs made Emma very on edge. 'I'm not a box of dynamite!' She thought at David, 'Why's he gotta act like I'm gonna blow up and break something?' She whined internally.
'You could make him respect you. He would never question you again.'
She ignored that thought (whose it was, she wasn't entirely sure). The logical part of her knew she wasn't being completely fair to David, but the increasingly irritated part didn't really care. So, when he finally stood up and called it a day, she was ready.
"Are we meeting Snow at the loft?" Emma asked as she stalked past David and out the main doors. He unlocked the car remotely and walked after her, "Well, we were thinking that it would be better if we went to Regina's. That way we can do some more research." He glanced over to her, and she thought he might be looking for her acceptance.
Emma couldn't help the feeling of relief that welled up in her heart at the thought of going back to Regina's.
"Oh, okay. That's cool." She responded.
David tried to keep up a conversation with her during the ride, but luckily for both of them they were only 10 minutes away from the mansion. When they walked inside the house, the smell of delicious food washed over them. "Mhmmmm." David and Emma moaned in tandem.
"Emma, David! You're just in time, I've finished making dinner." Snow called out, having heard them come in. Emma took off her boots and washed her hands quickly before sitting down at the table right next to Henry. He and Snow had already set out the food, so sitting on the plate in front of her was a plate of fettuccine alfredo with broccoli.
Henry gave Emma a quick hug then launched into a monologue about his day. For a regular school day, he made it sound quite interesting. Once Regina sat down at the table everyone began eating. Emma couldn't help but laugh at the uncertain look Regina gave the food. Of course Regina would be worried about the quality of anything Snow made. When Regina heard Emma's laughing she gave her a playful glare.
Despite all the irritation and uneasiness Emma had been feeling for most of the day, she found herself having a wonderful time with her family.