Defeated Musketeers
The four musketeers returned to the garrison and reported to Captain Duval what they had undergone during the assignment he had issued them. He lifted his gaze from the parchments of orders that littered his desk. 'What in the world?' he thought. He looked to each and every one of them, and in short, none of them looked salubrious. They looked like utter hell.
D'Artagnan was covered in dirt and mud, and there were visible bruises that marred his face. His sleeve was torn from the seam, and the strap that held his rapier was cut, forcing him to hold his beloved blade in his hand. He could feel the captain's gaze on him, and he cleared his throat but said nothing.
Jacque had a split lip and minor cuts that covered her neck. Twigs and leaves were woven into her now bushy hair. Handfuls of those locks looked as though they have been pulled out of the ponytail. The remaining strands that stayed secure only made her look worse. She slowly turned her head to the side, avoiding Duval's stare, but he could now see the extent of cuts on around her throat.
Captain Duval could see a small gash on Ramon's forehead. His clothes were ruffled and out of place. A red color stained his clothing, but it was not blood. It looked like he ran through a field of berries. His shirt was torn in several places, and he too was covered in mud.
Siroc just looked plain terrible. His usual suave hair was unruly, sticking out in the oddest directions. His posture told Captain Duval that he injured his left leg as he awkwardly leaned to his right. He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably when he felt the captain halted his inspection on him.
"Privates Siroc, Ramon, d'Artagnan, and Jacque reporting back, sir," he said.
"What the hell happened to the lot of you?" Duval asked. His mind began forming all sorts of wild stories, but he had a feeling he could not begin to imagine what happened to his musketeers.
D'Artagnan stepped up, grimacing as he did so. "Well, sir, as requested of our services we disbanded the bandits, and now we are reporting back." He looked as though he was ready to leave the office, but the captain continued the interrogation.
Duval knew that the task he assigned them was simple and easy. They should have been back hours ago. "Look at you," he started. "All of you are a complete mess. Did something go wrong?"
"Sir, we ran into some vicious…er…" Jacque spoke up, her tone dropped an octave.
"Animals, sir," Ramon finished. He moved his left shoulder so that the torn pieces of his shirt wouldn't fall down completely.
"Animals?" Duval repeated, an eyebrow rose slightly. He stood from his desk, grabbing his cane. "What kind of animals?"
"Ferocious, wild, untamed… with the largest claws man has ever seen before, sir," d'Artagnan said, bending his fingers into a replica of a claw.
Duval stopped in front of his four beloved musketeers, now suspicious and doubtful of their story. "I sent you four to be rid of a couple men who were harassing Madame Amelie. I did not send you to fight off Cromwell's army. Now what happened to you?" he asked in a more stern tone of voice. He turned to Siroc, knowing that the inventor hated it when he was confronted.
"Well, sir, that is…" Siroc stuttered. The captain glared him down, and it all came out. "When we rid Madame Amelie's residence of the men that caused her distress, she kindly asked us in for refreshments. When she offered her room to us, her pets escaped. They were in a frenzy upon our entering and fled the house. She asked us to retrieve them for her." Siroc stopped his explanation when he saw d'Artagnan signaling him not to say anymore.
Captain Duval was not done interrogating Siroc though, and he placed the tip of his cane over Siroc's chest. "Continue, private Siroc," he persuaded in a calm tone, but to Siroc it was quite frightful. The captain never used private in from of their names unless they were in the presence of the king, or if they were in trouble with their captain.
"Sir… the cats climbed up these trees that were taller than the three of us combined. Jacque and d'Artagnan tried to climb on top of one another to grab one of the cats, but she was frightened and jumped on d'Artagnan causing him to fall on top of Jacque. Jacque tried to fetch her, but the cat clawed him, as you can see the marks." Siroc pointed to Jacque's neck. Ramon and I were running after the second one through the front yard and through a garden…"
"Cats?" Duval held up a hand to interrupted him. "My musketeers were bested by cats?"
Siroc straightened his posture and looked down. The other three did the same, almost ashamed at that brutal fact. All they could hear was Duval's boots as he circled around them. "Four grown men- musketeers at that. Protectors of the king, guards for France… bested by a bunch of cats…" he said. He thought about the prospect for a moment, then let out a roaring laugh.
"Sir?" Jacque asked in concern. Captain Duval had bent over in laughter, trying to intake air.
"By cats!" he laughed again. When he looked over his musketeers again seeing their distorted state, it triggered a whole new fit of chuckles from him.
"Permission to have the rest of the day off, sir?" d'Artagnan asked, embarrassed that the whole truth was in the open. They had not eaten since the incident, and he very much needed a wash.
Duval waved them off. "Sure. You four can use the day as you see fit," Duval gasped. His face was now a bright red, and he leaned on his cane even more. "Carl, Nicholas, and Jean will cover for you… CATS!" he cackled.
The four musketeers gave a respectful salute, then left Duval's office, silently wishing at the moment that he might die in his laughter.
D'Artagnan headed for his room to clean up. "Why did you have to tell him everything?" he groaned to Siroc. They still could hear Captain Duval bawling in his office even though the door was closed.
"I need a drink," Jacque muttered, pulling the rapier strap over her head. She winced when she felt the dried blood on her neck pull at her skin.
"Si," Ramon agreed, but then a wide grin was plastered on his handsome face. "And I know just the place!"