Chapter 9: The Reason

We were leaving Tampa. We were going to stay a few more days and just relax, but all of a sudden, Sam and Dean said we had to leave, pronto. But they wouldn't tell me why. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the car with them. For the past couple hours they both seemed out of it.

'I can break Dean down, I know I can.' I thought to myself. Now the only problem would be getting rid of Sam.

"Hey, umm, I'm going to go get some stuff for the road, you know chips, soda, anyone want anything?" Sam asked. Ok so getting rid of him was easy.

"Oh frosted donuts and cinnamon rolls!" I exclaimed. I was a junk food queen. Sam laughed.

"Ok Dean what about you?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine thanks." He said half-heartedly. Ok, I so knew something was wrong. Sam nodded and walked to the small store across the street.

"We should probably get these bags in the car." He said before picking them up.

"Hey," I said as I touched his arm lightly. "What's wrong?" I asked sincerely. He tried hard to avoid my gaze; I made that hard for him to do. I moved in front of him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Dean, talk to me." I said softly. His expression was troubled, and he looked so much older for some reason.

Hesitantly, he spoke. "My dad called," he said. "And told us to meet him in San Francisco in four days, says there's something he wants us to look into."

"Ok… but why would that make you so stressed out?" I asked concerned.

"It's just my dad, he means well and I love him, but I don't know, the cases he sends us on when we all have to be together are normally pretty intense, and I don't feel like intense right now…." There was more, I could feel it coming. "And, I don't want to put you in any unnecessary danger."

I tip toed up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't worry about me babe, I'll be fine." I whispered into his ear. He looked at me for a second, and then looked in the direction of the store before enveloping me in his arms.

"You know, you don't make this whole 'lets not do anything serious' thing so easy for me." He told me.

"Yea, well you don't make it to easy either, but still, let's take it slow." I said.

"Fine, but I can't make a promise to you that I can kiss you again with out going further because this is driving me insane." He said, I could see the real Dean coming back through his face.

"Really now, and it's only been what? Five days? Huh, you aren't very patient are you?" I said smiling.

"Nope, and who knows, if I have to wait to long I may have to go out and find some other girl because I know that there are tons of them out there waiting to throw themselves at me." He said sarcastically. I laughed and pushed him off of me.

"Only in your dreams Winchester." I said before climbing into the backseat.

----

We drove, and drove and drove. We didn't stop, we just all took turns driving, though that did take some convincing with Dean. But in the end, when he almost fell asleep and the wheel and practically ran off the road, he agreed to it.

So now I was driving, and I couldn't stand commercials on the radio, so I had it on scan. The boys were asleep, Dean next to me and Sam in the back, when I heard something that caught my ear.

"… and her song 'Annie' was written for her daughter who was dying, it was only recorded once and we found it. So here it is, Elizabeth Delacour's never played song, written 19 years ago, 'Annie'" the D.J said.

"Oh god…" I whispered.

"This is for you baby." I heard her voice say softly before she began playing.

"Oh god…" I couldn't think. I hadn't heard this song in nineteen years. My arms were shaking, I had to pull over to the side of the road. I took my hands off the wheel, closed my eyes and listened to her voice.

"Watch her as she flew deep within the blue
A day out from the county I.C.U.
There's nothing you can do
Someone gently says to you
The doctor says that now it won't be long
I try and live up til the moment and I hope that I don't blow it
And what is it in me that she hears?
It's just a song she likes
Her little arms around my neck
And a dying girl whispers in my ear"

I was her… I was the dying girl

I was her… the one clinging to her neck.

"Tell me now can you feel it?
I've been keeping company with a ghost
She comes to me like a piece of summer
She comes to me on the days when I need it most"

I was born in summer,

I was the ghost…

I heard Dean stir next to me, I had barely been aware of the tears running down my face. He opened his eyes and became aware of the surroundings.

"Annie, why are we not… wait what's wrong?" He asked, becoming immediately concerned.

"Shh.." I said. "Listen."

And he did.

"Well summer dies and nothing lasts forever
And you're so fine, the way you stand up to your fears
The summer dies and its just moments we have together
I'd give my bones for you to get a few more years
For you and I, oh Annie
More than life than trying to survive, oh Annie"

She just that. She gave her bones, her soul, her life for mine…

"Oh my god…" Dean whispered.

As soon as I heard her voice sing my name, my tears turned into cries. I grabbed the steering wheel and pressed my head against it. I felt a hand rubbing my back.

"My boyfriend took pictures of me as I held you
I travel alone and the loneliness brings me to tears
The summer dies and it's just moments we have together
I'd give my bones for you to get a few more years
For you and I, oh Annie
More to life than trying to survive, oh Annie"

Her boyfriend, my father. He was the one who took the pictures I have of us when I was little, the only ones I have left of her.

I was her summer…

"Stronger than the hands that hold you
You sing along to the song on the radio
If I drank too much when I am with this
Just this once would you forgive this"

I remember that now… singing along with the radio in our car… I never did it again after she died.

The drinking… she mentioned it in the letter… she said it was the only thing that kept her from believing that I would live…

'I forgive you mom' I thought as I cried harder.

"And hold on, the days gone by
Tell me now can you feel it?
I can't keep this all to myself
She's elegant and she means it, no"

I wanted her here, now. I wanted her to hold me…

"Years for you and I, oh Annie
More to life than trying to survive, oh Annie
Watch her as she flew deep within the blue
Watch her as she slips away from you
I'll keep fingers crossed always for you"

The song ended and the D.J came back on.

I was crying harder then I have ever cried in my life, and I didn't care that Dean or Sam saw. I didn't care if the whole world saw.

"Wow, if that isn't a passionate mother I don't know what is. She loved that little girl, goodness that song almost makes me cry… but didn't Elizabeth die soon after writing it? And know one really knows what happened to that little girl, she survived but after that…" He trailed off for a moment. "Well Annie, if you are listening, that one will always be for you."

Dean turned off the radio as soon as he said that.

"That was her…" I said with my voice shaky. "That was the first time I have heard my mother's voice in 19 years…"

Everything in my body was trembling. I heard a ghost.

And that song killed her.

"It's my fault. I killed her." I whispered.

"Hey," Dean said as he grabbed my hands and forced me to look at him. "You did nothing. She loved you, she wanted you to live and be free because she knew that she could never be. I don't ever want to hear you say that again." He said softly but firmly.

"I need air." I said before pulling myself out of Dean's grasp and going outside. We were kind of in no-mans-land, so I went over by a tree and leaned against it.

"God, please tell me why…" I prayed. "Why me? Why her? Why my father…. Why us? Why did I have to be cursed! What did I do wrong?" I ended up screaming. "Why did you let that woman curse my mother? Why did you let her sell her soul for me! Why couldn't you have just let us be normal!" I fell to the ground shaking, the song playing in my head.

I heard footsteps rushing towards me, and with out even noticing what was going on, I felt myself being pulled into Dean's arms protectively as he picked me up and carried me back to the car.

Sam started driving and Dean stayed in the back with me. I cried on his shoulder, and I could have sworn I felt tears that weren't mine fall onto my head.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered after a while.

"For what?" He asked as he pushed my hair away from my face, revealing it red and tear stained.

"For going insane." I said as lightly as possible.

"Hey, that was a huge out of the blue thing. Not to mention what that song means, and what it did." He told me. I nodded and relaxed back into his arms.

"Thank you." I whispered, before falling into a deep sleep.