Yippee! A one shot…Well, I was really bored in study hall and English class so I started writing…and now I'm continuing…here it goes!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing Harry Potter, hell, I don't even know if I own this plotline, there are too many HPDM stories out there…well, I hope I own this one, ok?

It was dark, too dark. Once again, Harry had managed to find himself in an awkward situation. He had been pushed, rather forcibly (who knew Hermione had such strength?) into a random broom closet; but not before he had had his wand snatched from his fingers. Before he could utter 'What the fuck?' the door opened once more and another body slammed into him. Harry stepped sideways and tried to peer into the dark to see who had violated his space.

"Stop breathing my air, Potter."

Ah, of course. Of all the people to be shoved into a broom closet with, it was Draco Malfoy.

Harry leapt to the door and started pounding his fists into the wood. "HERMIONE! LET ME OUT OF HERE! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"No." was the giggled reply.

Harry stopped midway through his frantic pummeling and stared incredulously at the offending door. "And just what do you mean by 'no'?"

"She means," said another blasted, giggly, girly voice, "that we're not letting you two out until you put the ridiculous rivalry into the past."

"PANSY! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU!" Draco raged.

"Too bad, Sweetie. But you're stuck in there until you and Potter are friends…or something more." She added mischievously.

Harry's left eye twitched and Draco threw up a bit in his mouth. "Ew."

"Well, get on with the friendship!" Hermione pronounced cheerfully, sealing the door with a few well placed spells.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two, very long, hours later…

"I'm hungry."

"Yes, as am I. PANSY! FETCH US SOME FOOD!"

…silence…

"God damnit, Potter. They've left."

"Of course."

"It appears that they've left us something however." Draco paused and lit a candle, bringing an eerie glow to the dank cupboard. He reached for some pieces of parchment on the ground. "Oh they can not be serious."

"What is it?" asked Harry, mildly interested. (Wouldn't you be bored after sitting in silence for two tense hours?)

"They've given us…surveys, and demand that we complete these, or else they'll 'Avada our arses'." Draco read, smirking. He threw a survey at Harry.

Harry laughed. "So…what's your favourite colour?"

Draco snorted. "Oh please, you're seriously doing this survey?"

Harry picked up a quill and dipped it into some ink. "Only if you cooperate."

"Green." said Draco, rolling his eyes in the process.

"Nifty." voiced Harry, scribbling down Draco's reply. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why green?"

"I don't know, Potter. Stop being so bloody personal!" he snapped.

Harry sighed. "Fine…what's the one thing you most dislike about yourself?"

"Potter! I said nothing personal!"

"Well sorry, Malfoy, but it's question number two. Spaz…"

Draco glared at him.

"Well…are you going to answer?"

"Of course not Potter, don't be so daft."

"Please Draco, I don't want to die! Hermione can be evil, PURE EVIL!"

"You're not going to die, and don't call me Draco, you're not worthy enough."

"Fine." pouted Harry. Then, remembering what Pansy had said earlier, his pout changed into an evil smirk. "I'll just call you sweetie."

Draco choked on his own spit. "Draco it is than!" he cried out enthusiastically, lunging forward to shake Harry's hand.

Harry grinned, amazed by his own brilliance. "So, are you going to answer that question?"

"Oh dear lord, you are so annoying!"

"Yes, I am. Stop avoiding the question, you git!"

"Fine." sighed Draco in defeat. "I don't like that I'm so judgmental, and I don't like that I'm related to my father; what I'm supposed to become…or what I'm becoming. Also, I have weird feet."

"That was deep."

"Yes…and awkward."

"Very."

"So… I'll ask a question now. What's your biggest fear and why?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Dementors and the future. Dementors bring out the worst memories my childhood has: the death of my parents. I hear them both being murdered by Voldemort inside my head. And the future, I have to kill Voldemort, or he'll kill me."

"Dang."

And the questioning continued…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Would you please stop humming?"

"Sorry." Suddenly, Harry laughed at the deafening silence.

"Would you like to inform me on what the funny voices are saying inside your head, Potty?"

"Ah, you wouldn't get it."

"I assure you I would."

"Well, it's just; I've read a fan fiction like this once."

Draco started at him. "I don't get it."

"Yeah. You see, well…" And Harry proceeded to explain to Draco the wonders of the computer, then the internet, then and then about a fan fiction where he and Draco had indeed, got locked in a cupboard.

"So…wait, I was a veela?"

"And I was a vampire."

"That is so fucked up."

"Yes, the fucking involved was a bit too much for me. I almost threw up, actually I did."

"That is so incredibly disturbing. We…bonded?"

"Yes, and then we shared all these heart warming stories about our life…got to know each other…then I got you into bed, you were submissive."

"That's insulting."

"And then you got pregnant…"

"WHAT!?"

"I have to say that made me laugh the most. And we had children named Ruth and David."

"I'm going to throw up."

Harry threw a bucket at Draco.

"Ouch!"

"Don't be so stupid. That would never happen…it's just too wrong."

"And yet here we are, stuck in a closet, getting to know each other and being civil. What on earth is the world coming to?" asked Draco, shaking his head in shame.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Draco, would you stop shaking your leg. You're making me very tense."

"Sorry, I just have to fucking pee! They better let us out of here."

Harry smiled. "I laugh at your misfortune."

"And I'll laugh when I pee on your head!"

"Touché." Harry nodded.

"Shh! Listen!" Draco whispered suddenly. "I hear footsteps."

"Draco, Harry…how's it going in there?"

"Please let us out Hermione, we've been in here for hours. Now we're friends!"

"Good job Harry, but I'm afraid that's not good enough." said Pansy.

"Not good enough?" questioned Harry looking at Draco.

Draco smiled; a genuine smile and he started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

Draco stopped and looked at Harry. "Be quiet for about five minutes."

"But-" began Harry but Draco cut him off with an obnoxious 'Shh!'

After sitting in silence for approximately seven minutes and thirteen seconds, not that Harry was counting; Draco abruptly threw his head back and moaned. Yes, moaned.

Harry shot Draco a bewildered look but Draco silently motioned for him to be quiet.

He moaned again, "Oh…god…yes, Harry."

Harry fell over.

"Yes! Harry! Oh my god! Hurry, up with the unbuttoning!"

Harry shut his eyes and stayed on the ground, paling.

"I want you, Potter! I need you! God, you're arse is so sexy!"

Harry looked at Draco. "What the fuck-"

"YES! FUCK! FUCK ME HARRY!?"

"Draco!"

"YES, SAY MY NAME AGAIN, HARRY!"

Harry's face contorted into a look of disgust. He had used Harry's reasoning into some perverted plot.

"DRACO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"With my tongue, Harry dear? I'll show you again!"

"Moan!" he whispered at Harry.

"I'll do no such thing!" Harry said in an undertone furiously.

"Fine." snapped Draco, and he moaned again. Loudly.

"OH GOD HARRY HARDER!"

Harry's eyes bulged and his left eye twitched again. He really wasn't enjoying the images in his head.

"OH MY GOD!" Draco screamed extremely loudly. He started to over exaggerate panting, making sure the sound would sift through underneath the door.

"I love you, Harry." he murmured.

A loud chorus of 'Awww's, were heard on the other side of the door.

"OH MY GOD HARRY YOU TRAITOR!" someone yelled.

"DRACO! HAVE YOU SUNK THAT LOW?"

"Oh…my…god. Draco, I don't think that was only Hermione and Pansy out there."

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" an angry voice called out.

Suddenly, Hermione's giggle was heard. "Harry, Draco…you two can come out of the closet now!"

She opened the door and both boys blinked into the bright light only to see the entire student body and staff staring blankly at them. Someone let out a nervous giggle.

Harry turned slowly to Draco. Looking murderous, Harry hissed 'Run' in Parselmouth, he was just that pissed.

And oh boy, how Draco ran!

Wow…That was a long oneshot…oh well this is the outcome of school boring me…it's my first one shot ill critiquing would be nice, and anything else you've got! Reviews please? They make me verryyyyyy happy!!!