Her
Telling someone that you care about that you are not straight is not an easy task. I hope that none of you are ever in that situation because you always have that thought in your head that the person you want to tell wont love you as much anymore. You're afraid that they wont accept you for who you are. Sometimes you are up all night crying and worrying about it. Everyday you feel like you're lying to your friends and you feel guilty because you are keeping something from them. That is what I'm feeling. I love my friends so much that if even one of them didn't love me as much anymore, I would hate myself. I love my friends more than anything in the world. I'm not getting enough sleep anymore because I'm thinking about it.
It's all because I fell in love with a girl. I love her so much my heart breaks. When I see her holding hands with someone else, I get depressed and hearing her name makes me smile. She is also the only person who understands what I am going through right now. She listens to my complaints and worries, and gives me advice and comforting words. I feel much better after I talk to her. She has helped me through my problems and always tells me the mot important thing, "Take your time. There is no rush, you can tell people when you are ready." When it comes to this subject, she understands me better than anyone. It is ironic because if I didn't fall in love with her I wouldn't be in this situation, but also, she is helping me through it. It's because she is such a kind person. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would be totally lost and confused and feel like my life had no meaning. I wouldn't want to live it anymore. That is why I had to tell her that I'm bi.
Even though I had serious feelings about her, telling her was still hard but I knew she would understand. We were at a volleyball tournament and we were just standing there alone and it just came out. It was like I couldn't hold it in any longer. Then she did something that I didn't expect. She smiled and said that she already guessed that I wasn't straight. That more than anything else made me feel better because she wasn't shocked or didn't believe me. I was finally happy. But that night all those negative feelings came back bigger than ever. It was all too much, I really needed to talk to someone so I myspaced her and told her what I was feeling. About 5 minuets later she logged onto Yahoo IM and told me that was I was going through was normal and that I had to accept myself and love me for who I am. She talked to me for about an hour and hardly stopped talking the whole time because she knew that if she stopped, her words would be meaningless. She helped me more than she even knows.
The next day I ran up to her and she held me while I cried. I was glad that someone finally understands what I am going through but there are now a lot of other people to tell.
I'll put the next person I tell in chapter 2.