-Chapter 3: Cold Smoke-

-Earlier That Day-

The school day had passed as usual for Tomoki, and as he swapped out his shoes at the getabako and said his goodbyes to his classmates for the afternoon, he finally took out his phone which he had set aside during class.

12 missed calls.

He stared at his phone in a growing disbelief as he walked out of the building and scrolled through his history. 'Takuya, 3:16pm. Takuya, 3:18pm. Takuya, 3:19pm. Takuya-' and so on. Before he could press the 'Call' button in response, his phone began to silently ring once more-

Incoming Call - Takuya

He answered and brought the device up to his ear.

"H-hello.. ? Ta-"

"TOMOKIII!"

The booming voice that rang out caused him to flinch and pull his phone away from his face. As soon as his surprise subsided, it was quickly replaced with concern.

"T-Takuya? What's wrong? Did something happen, are you okay- ?!" he fretted. It had been a long time since he heard such distress in Takuya's voice- he had honestly wondered for a split second if the other boy was actively being murdered.

"You won't believe it, Tomoki! You won't believe - there's a new transfer student at my school - you won't believe it-" Takuya tripped over himself in his words, then he paused to gather himself. Tomoki could hear him take a deep breath on the other side.

'Who is it, some kind of celebrity.. ?' Tomoki imagined, before Takuya exhaled and finished his sentence:

"It's Kouji.. !"

Tomoki's eyes widened. 'Kouji... ?' he thought.

There was an awkward pause of silence before Tomoki responded.
".. are.. are you sure?" Tomoki asked tentatively, trying to be as polite as possible. Takuya was right: he really couldn't believe it.

"Whaddaya mean, am I sure?!" Takuya boisterously yelled into the phone again, causing Tomoki to pull it away from his poor ear once more, "you think I'm making this up!? He looks like Kouji, he sounds like Kouji, his name was on the board! It's Kouji!"

Tomoki stared at the road in front of him. His mind turned over itself with questions- Was this some sort of dream? It wasn't easy to just transfer schools out of nowhere in the middle of the year, why now? Kouji, of all people? How? Why? He then shook his head to snap himself out of it, finally responding in a more chipper tone of voice.
"That's great news, Takuya! Right? What a coincidence! Did the two of you catch up?" he inquired, imagining Takuya and Kouji having a happy school day together, "how is Kouji, is he doing alright? Is he with you right now?"

There was an awkward pause of silence before Takuya responded, this time.
"Ah.. ha.. well.. Kouji, he's - I, uh," he hesitantly started, "actually, I should tell everyone about this! I'll just make a group chat with Izumi and Junpei and you-"

Tomoki interrupted, a small sprinkle of worry tinting his voice, "wait, is that a good idea-"

"I have to go to practice first, but let's get a call going tonight! We have to talk about this! I'm making the group chat now! Talk to you then-"

"Takuya-"

A small beep indicated the end of the call. Tomoki stared at his phone, feeling as though a storm had just blown through his path. He scratched his head and began his usual trek back to the station, towards home.

What an odd day, he thought as he boarded the afternoon train by himself. His mind flashed back to his conversation with Takuya that very morning- he recalled the image of a saddened Takuya, staring down at the train floor, and how he had assured him that they would all reunite some day.
It wasn't merely an empty saccharine dream, hastily spoken for the sake of cheering Takuya up; it was a hope that he himself had clung onto dearly, for the last five years, for his own sake.
If they couldn't overcome the grief of losing Kouichi, if their friendships with each other were left slowly drifting apart like sheets of ice, then.. what was it all for, exactly?

He wasn't sure if he wanted an answer to that question.

Takuya's words on the phone caused him some concern, when he had dodged the question regarding Kouji.
In his mind, he always imagined their group's reunion to be happy, if a little tearful or rough around the edges. Maybe it was a lingering part of him that stayed just a little bit naive, but he hoped that everyone would simply come to their senses and learn that supporting each other in these times was the better solution than growing distant or pushing each other away.
He wondered if Takuya and Kouji got into a fight today - and, well, maybe that was the more realistic outcome. Maybe.. it was a start.

'Kouji..'
He thought back on the memories that followed suit behind that name, as he watched the shadows flicker on the train floor just as it did that morning. It was hard to believe five whole years had passed.

Before the Digital World, the only experience Tomoki had with the topic of death was when the occasional classmate came into class, somber or crying and speaking of a grandparent who recently passed away. He never could truly relate then; even now, his grandparents were still alive and in fairly decent health.
There were stock phrases of comfort said to those children. 'They accomplished this or that, they fulfilled their dreams, they live on through their children and their children's children- They lived a long, full life and grew old - '

No one ever did mention that sometimes, someone may die before they get there.

It struck Tomoki the hardest on his tenth birthday, when he realized that he was the same age Kouichi was when he died.
It struck him again on his eleventh birthday, when he realized he outlived Kouichi.
And it kept striking him, every birthday after that, and he wondered if it would ever stop.

'What are you supposed to say, then?' he wondered.

'What would they say to me?'

'What should I say.. to Kouji?'

Kouji was always the strict and stoic one of the group, always quick to scold him, always quick to eschew fun or 'childish' things in an attempt to keep them all on track of their goals. However, he also caved easily; it only ever took a little twist of the arm to change Kouji's mind. Tomoki recalled feeling intimidated by his standoffish-ness at first.
Then, Kouji turned into someone who he could respect and look up to. Then, he realized Kouji wasn't so cold after all.

And then, when the day came that they returned to the human world, and when he saw that strong and willful Kouji shattering in the hospital, it all became clearer than ever to see:

'.. he was a kid, just like me.'

Tomoki had hoped that in the past five years Kouji may have found some sort of happiness or closure - somewhere, somehow.
But more often than not, the details behind Kouichi's death felt like a lonely glacier, floating in an ocean, that only he and the other four DigiDestined were trapped on - they only really had each other. He couldn't even bring himself to speak to Katsuhara over what occurred during their last moments in the Digital World, fighting Lucemon, worried that even he wouldn't truly understand the scope of it all.

He simply couldn't go back to being treated like the baby anymore, after everything. He couldn't allow himself to be the person that they always worried about or looked after or comforted.

As he thought of a sullen Takuya staring down at the train floor,
of Kouji's cries in the hospital,
of Izumi turning away with distant eyes,
and of Junpei's masked, forced smiles..

He resolved that he wanted to grow into a person who could protect them, instead. If he could just get them all together again, first.

Tomoki opened the door to his home, taking off his shoes in the entryway. "I'm home!" he called out as he stepped into the living room. His mother, Atsuko Himi, poked her head around the kitchen wall. The television was left on in the room and the quiet buzz of the news channel filled in the gaps of silence.

"Ah! Tomoki! Welcome home, how was your day at school?" she asked as she walked around and approached him.
Her short, light-brown hair framed her face in small waves, and her soft green eyes mirrored his own.

"It was great!" he responded happily, telling her of the lessons learned in school and the friends he hung out with at lunch. He neglected to mention the part involving the panicked Takuya or the sudden reappearance of an old friend.

She watched him intently with concerned eyes as he talked about his day. Then, without warning, she hugged him as he was mid-sentence.

"They- woah, mom.. ? Are you okay?"

".. ah, I'm sorry, Tomoki," she said as she broke the embrace, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"I just.. it's all the news lately," she glanced to the television behind them, "there are all these reports of violent animal attacks in the area, and there was that knife assault not far from here, and.. oh, it really worries me knowing you're walking alone every day.."
Her green eyes were brimming with tears. "I never thought I'd see so much trouble in our city. It's not as peaceful as it once was.."

"Oh, mom.. I'm fine, see? I made it back home, safe and sound!" he reassured her, puffing his chest with some confidence, "also, you really shouldn't watch all that negative stuff all the time.."

"Do you want me to drive you to school tomorrow?" she asked as she wiped away a tear.

"M-mom, no! I'm way too old for that!" he sputtered, waving his hands to decline, "I'd never hear the end of it from Teppei if he saw me.."

"Well.. you know to call me if you ever find yourself in danger, right?" she fixed up a wrinkled spot on his school jacket for him, then placed her closed fists on her hips. "Or better yet, the police?"

Tomoki gave an exasperated laugh.
"It'll be okay.. you remember Takuya, right? He's on the train with me every morning- He wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. He's the strongest person I know!"
He made a big smile, then realized that statement was perhaps more truthful when they were able to transform into digimon. As humans, well.. an image of the stout Junpei popped into his mind. "W-well, maybe second strongest.. ?"

Atsuko sighed as she recalled her memory of Tomoki's friend Takuya, the older boy who occasionally came by to hang out or play games with him. That boy was still just a child, too, and the thought didn't bring her that much more comfort than before.
Still, Tomoki was 14 now. As much as it pained her to think of it, she knew she couldn't hold his hand through life forever.

".. Okay, I trust you boys to look after each other," she acquiesced. "But, remember the police thing - keep your phone accessible - and be aware of your surroundings at all times - and don't stay out after dark, okay? And you can call me anytime to pick you up from anywhere if you feel unsafe," she quickly tacked on, the list growing longer and longer, "promise me, okay?"

"Yes, mom! I promise! All of those things!"

Tomoki dismissed himself to his room in order to get started on his homework, and she let out a hefty sigh once he disappeared from her sight and up the stairwell.

Tomoki had changed very suddenly, many years ago. She could still recall the moment in her mind.
It seemed like any other day, at first - the spoiled and cheerful boy of hers asked to go outside to play as usual. He was gone for only a few hours.
And yet, in that time, the youthful exuberance that was present in his eyes when he left that warm spring afternoon..
.. was no longer there when he came back home that evening.

Tomoki coming home in tears wasn't an uncommon occurrence back then, but there was something different about the tears in his eyes that day.
Then, he stopped asking for things from her or his father. He stopped throwing fits. He stopped fighting with his brother, whenever Yutaka came home to visit. He became very interested in helping around the house, assisting them with dinner preparation, cleaning, picking up after himself and never having to be told twice about schoolwork.
He noticed things he hadn't noticed before. He asked about their lives in ways he hadn't asked before.

While it wasn't an unwelcome change, it was certainly all very bizarre from the Tomoki they once knew.
And every now and again, Atsuko would catch him crying over something untold.

He never did tell her what happened.

Tomoki entered his room and quietly shut the door behind him, pulling some school workbooks out from his bag and placing them down on his desk. Despite his change in disposition over the years, his room still reflected his inner child; shelves filled to the brim with figurines, manga, and video games; a growing pile of stuffed toys he and Takuya had won from UFO catchers in the corner; a handheld console sat within reach of his bed and assorted posters decorated the walls.

He looked around at his space, at the childish yet welcoming display of toys and games. While their adventures in the Digital World may have ended in grief, the happy and fantastical memories they shared before the end were still dear to him, and the trinkets that decorated his room reminded him of who he once was before.
Like fractured remnants of himself, he wanted to hold on to those last shards of familiarity, lest he fail to recognize himself in the mirror. He still enjoyed it all; there was just simply a growing eclipse of worries brought about by day to day mundane life and of growing older.

There were things like grades and tests. Like college, jobs, careers. Like how to keep a fractured friend group together. Like how to stop bullying at school. Like how to be a better son, a better brother, a better friend. Like wondering what to say to Kouji.

Like his mother worrying about the news.

The news.
Animal attacks. A knife assault. He took a seat at his desk, coldly staring at the books that sat in front of him.
What would he do in those situations, he wondered. He imagined it in his mind. What if he were being attacked? What if it were a friend? Or family? What if it were a classmate, or Takuya, or his own mother?

He remembered what Takuya taught him in the Digital World- that true courage isn't about vengeance or overpowering others as a digimon.
But, pragmatically, he realized there may come a time where he may not have a choice but to fight, just like in the Digital World, whether it be against a rabid dog or a mugger or even a bully at school.
Reasoning may not be an option. Running may not be an option.

And they couldn't transform anymore.

In that sort of scenario, in the real world..
The possibilities raced through his mind.
Just how far would he go to protect someone he loved? How far could he go, given his own limitations?

He quickly shook off the thoughts. Now his mother's worries were starting to get to him, too, as if he needed any more added onto the list. He opened his study materials and began to work until it was time to help with dinner.

"So, let me get this straight.." Izumi's voice came through the phone in an accusatory tone, "it's Kouji's first day at your school, we haven't seen him in years, and the first thing you do to greet him is to chase him around, corner him, and yell at him? Honestly, Takuya? No wonder he wanted to get away from you," she huffed. They could almost hear her placing a hand on her hip and glaring over the phone.

"Well.. when you put it that way.. it does sound kind of shitty," Takuya muttered guiltily in response.

"That's because it was shitty," Junpei interjected, "don't you have any tact left at all? Not that you had much to begin with.." he muttered those last words in a barely-audible fashion.

"Hey, I get it," Takuya retorted defensively, "but what else was I supposed to do? It's not like he was offering me the time of day for a heart-to-heart or something-"

"Did you try just talking to him like a normal person.. ?" Izumi questioned.

"He was actively running away from me!" Takuya blurted out.

"So.. no, then. Well.. you can't just force him to open up to you, or have him do anything really," her words made sense, logically, but her own voice was tinged with sadness, "but maybe tomorrow you could try a more.. gentle approach? I'll send him a message, too. I mean, what can we really do besides offer a hand and hope that he takes it?"

"But that's exactly the problem, isn't it?" Takuya responded with frustration, "what if he never does? He hasn't for years."

Junpei sighed.
"If he doesn't want to talk, then he doesn't want to talk. You've always been like this, Takuya- You've always been nosy," he scolded, "have you thought about just leaving him be? Even back in the Digital World, you were always getting involved in Kouji's personal business, even when it had nothing to do with you-"

"Nothing to do with me?! How can you say that?" Takuya argued, "we all fought together in the Digital World - didn't that mean something to you?! He's not just some stranger, he's.. like family, isn't he?"

"You may think that way, but does Kouji see us the same way? Does he even see us as his friends anymore?" the bitterness in Junpei's voice was palpable, "after all, he cut off contact with all of us. Just leave him alone if that's what he wants."

Takuya went quiet for a tense moment. When he spoke again, his voice returned with venom laced within.
"That sounds like you, Junpei, quick to just give up as always. What would you know about making an effort, anyway?"

"H-hey, let's not-" Tomoki tried to interject, but it was too late.

"Excuse me, Takuya!?" sparks flew from Junpei's voice as he piped up to defend himself, "you want to make a jab at me when you're the one picking fights and hounding Kouji, who's clearly still grieving? Is that your idea of effort? As if you're in the right in any sense of the word-"

"Well you sure as hell don't waste any time tearing into me either- !"

"I'm just telling you how I see it-"

"Guys, guys! Let's stop this!" Tomoki loudly yelled out into his phone. This is what he was afraid of - a gathering like this, whether in person or over a call, ended in conflict more often than not over the last couple of years.
"Kouji being back is supposed to be a good thing, right..?" he questioned them, "but you two are just.. being mean to each other again.."

"Tomoki.." Izumi's soft, sympathetic voice came through the line.

"The day we returned from the Digital World.. when.. Kouichi passed.." Tomoki somberly continued, and they all went silent at the thought, ".. it was hard for all of us. But.. Kouji was affected the most. That was his twin brother.. you understand that, don't you?"

"I.. of course I understand.." Takuya whispered softly.

"Takuya.. I know that you're angry because.. you were just worried about him, and scared. And, Junpei.. you're angry because you feel hurt that he left us, right?" Tomoki pointed out, and their silence continued as if to give him his answer.
"But he's back now! And if we want to bring him back to us, we have to start treating each other better first!"

The uncomfortable silence sat in the air for just a moment longer.

".. You're right," Junpei finally responded with a sigh, "I think.. it's been easy to get caught up in a reaction to something, and forget to ask ourselves why," his tone was quiet and mildly apologetic after his little tiff with Takuya.
"Why did Kouji cut off contact with us? Why did he avoid Takuya in school today? .. Why didn't he.. tell us about Kouichi's funeral?" his last words were spoken slowly, betraying the pain that he felt from them. "I think we all know the answers to those questions, but.. those answers are pretty hard to swallow, aren't they?"

He's hurt. He's scared. He's isolating himself. He doesn't want to be seen as weak. He doesn't really know how to face what happened. He doesn't want to be reminded of it.
He's still grieving, and he probably always will be.
All of them could relate to one thing or another.

"I know," Takuya mumbled, and they could hear him groan in frustration and ruffle through his hair with his free hand, "I'm.. sorry, Junpei. I.. should apologize to Kouji, too."

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Junpei said softly as well.

"It seems we've forgotten to look after each other.. like we used to. But, it's not too late for us to start over," Izumi spoke, and a small breath of relief could be heard in her words, "it was only Kouji's first day at your school. We have years ahead to catch up! You don't have to make everything happen in a single day - just take things slowly, maybe seeing you in person will eventually encourage him to come around."
She gave a small chuckle, "it's.. a bit like when we all first met each other, isn't it?"

"At the very least, he probably can't keep ignoring you forever," Junpei added in jokingly, then he paused to think, "hey.. how'd he end up there, anyway? Well, I guess you didn't have a chance to ask, huh.." he pondered aloud.

"It's on the to-do list, trust me," Takuya replied.

"Well, I'm looking forward to the day we can all see each other in person," Tomoki beamed, his smile nearly audible in his voice. It was just as he said to Takuya.

"I've missed you all too," Izumi said bittersweetly, "it's been a little while since we talked last, together like this."

It was true. It had been some months since their last call; even longer since their last meet-up in person. It wasn't always easy to pull off with everyone going to different schools or having varying schedules, and their efforts to make them happen dwindled in frequency whenever they bumped heads over something.
Takuya telling everyone that Kouji appeared at his school was certainly an effective attention-grab for today.

They sat and conversed for awhile longer about their daily lives. Takuya was the first to dismiss himself around half past 7, when the topic of schoolwork reminded him of an assignment he had yet to finish that was due tomorrow- a typical Takuya move, Tomoki thought, but he was sure he'd be fine.
Izumi, Junpei, and Tomoki continued on until Izumi was called for dinner a touch past 8, as a later dinner was a normal occurrence for their household - 'Parmigiana di Melanzane' she excitedly told them before she said goodbye, and while it sounded lovely, Tomoki stuck his tongue out at the thought of aubergine.
Then, it was simply Junpei and Tomoki having a short but pleasant one-on-one for the remainder of the call. Tomoki always felt like he learned something new from Junpei every time they spoke; this time, it was about different types of computer viruses, apparently learned from his new part-time job. Surely not knowledge Tomoki would have sought out on his own.

His phone displayed 8:39pm when he finally spoke the last goodnight and ended the call. He smiled to himself, pleased that the conversation was able to turn itself around after the rough beginning. He then looked through his phone's contacts and found Kouji's name - he recalled how Izumi said she would send him a message, and he wondered if he ought to do the same.

He stared at the screen. Unfortunately, the words still escaped him.
He placed his phone back down and sighed, but he didn't feel too discontented with himself.
He could wait until he found something worthwhile to say; something that came naturally, from the heart, instead of stock phrases.

'Everything's going to be alright, isn't it?'

-Chapter 3 End-

Author's Notes:

**There are three subtle song references all from a certain indie folk band hidden in this chapter. Can you spot them?! (there is no prize but I would be impressed)

** *Phew* (´∀｀；) This chapter was quite dialogue-heavy! Hopefully their conversations this chapter don't seem too OOC, feel free to tell me if you feel it is. They're all teenagers dealing with grief and trauma, so.. I imagine they're not always going to be nice or reasonable with each other, nor would they be exactly the same as their young canon selves. Plus, Takuya and Junpei *were* kinda mean to each other at times in canon, weren't they?

** I've noticed chapter one was slightly shorter compared to the more recent two, so I went back and added an extra scene in the morning time which showcases more of Takuya's family life, and a bit more of his kinder side as he's not always an extra-spicy thrill-seeking delinquent boy. Thought I'd let recurring readers know! I hope you enjoy it!

** Tbh I'm not really sure whether to call them 10 or 11-year olds in canon, as Izumi mentioned in an early episode(in the subbed version) that she was 10-going-on-11 in a month and several months obviously passed while they were there. Did they celebrate birthdays, despite not having a way to tell the exact date? Did they consider themselves aged a year or so after returning? Did they actually even age at all? Idk. It's vague. We're gonna stick to 10 for now but I may change it later.