Phil's High School Survival Guide
By Joe
Summary: Ned, Cookie, and Moze are now in James K Polk high-school. However, they are in the shadow of three students who write a survival guide for high school.
Author Notes: I do not own Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, its characters, or any other copyrighted material. I am, however, the creator of my own OCs (original characters).
Chapter 1
The dawning of a Monday in September occurred, and it just so happened to be a big day for three teenagers named Ned Bigby, Jennifer Mosley, and Simon "Cookie" Cook. That was because it was the day they were to become high-schoolers! They were to go to James K. Polk high-school, the sister school of James K. Polk middle-school. All three friends were excited to become high-schoolers. They were no longer little kids of middle-school, and they were no longer threatened by the ominous vigil of Vice-principal Crubbs. They finally received their independence, and they wanted to savor every moment of it.
They met each other in the halls of the glorious school at 8:00 am. It was a huge building. The ceiling of the main entrance seemed to rise up forever, and all the windows and the precisely angled corners of the ceiling gave the main entrance a very dynamic appearance. The color scheme was much like that of James K. Polk middle school, however, and the design for the classrooms remained similar as well.
"Guys, we're now officially high-schoolers!" exclaimed Ned, who began jumping up and down.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Moze said, holding him back. "You need to act like a high-schooler. High-schoolers don't jump up and down and act giddy…except for us girls, of course."
Ned noticed that Cookie was using his computerized glasses again. "What are you doing now, Cookie?"
"I'm hacking into the system to see what classes we've got," he said with an excited grin.
"Cookie, you know that they give out schedules. You don't need to hack into the system," Moze said.
"Oh," Cookie said in a crestfallen manner.
Ned, Cookie, and Moze went to get their schedules from the main office. There was a total of six periods for a typical school day, and the guys had every single class together! The classes they had were Chemistry, Algebra, American Literature, Physical Education, Painting, and U.S. History.
The bell rang, and the three of them raced to their first class, which was Chemistry. Their teacher was Mr. Tony Tuba-Matzger. Mr. Matzger was of African-American descent and had short, curly black hair and a trim gray beard. He spoke with somewhat of a German accent. Ned, Cookie, and Moze sat down at their desks and waited with the other students for Mr. Matzger to begin teaching.
"Good morning, class. My name is Mr. Tony Tuba-Matzger, but you can just call me Mr. Matzger. This class is Chemistry, and you will need to know your polyatomic ions and keep up with your lab book, or you will fall behind," Mr. Matzger said.
Suddenly, the class was disrupted by the bellowing laughter of three students. Mr. Matzger shot an angry look at them. All three were boys that sat behind Ned, Cookie, and Moze.
"Excuse me! State your names," Mr. Matzger said.
The tall, big-boned student with dark brown hair, thin-rimmed rectangular glasses, and a red plaid shirt spoke first. "My name is John Phillip Harris, Jr., but most people refer to me as 'Phil' or 'Big Phill'."
The boy sitting next to Phil, a tall boy with shaggy brown hair and green shirt spoke next. My name's Tyler," he said with a somewhat drawn-out accent.
Finally, the third boy, an extremely short, immature looking boy with a buzz cut, red necktie, and black briefcase spoke. "My name's Joe, but some people call me Joe the Nerd. I follow the stock market ad-infinitum. Did you know that the Dow-Jones Industrial Average recently closed above 12,000, a key psychological barrier…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever," Mr. Matzger said. "Listen, will you boys just shut up and let me teach? I don't want to have to put up with your nonsense anymore. 'Kay?" Phil, Tyler, and Joe nodded their heads in unison. Then, Mr. Matzger turned his back to the students and began to lecture about polyatomic ions. Ned, Cookie, and Moze turned around to face Phil, Tyler, and Joe.
"Hey, guys, I'm Ned," Ned said quietly. "These are my friends, Cookie and Moze."
"Nice to meet you, too," Phil said. "As you know, my name is Phil Harris, Jr., and those guys are Tyler and Joe."
"What do you like to do?" Moze asked.
"Well, you see, I plan to start a career as a diesel mechanic. I have a 1980 Scout II pickup truck that runs on diesel. When I graduate this year, I will go to a technical college to get further experience in the field," Phil said.
"Graduate? Are you a senior?" Moze asked.
"Yes, I am," said Phil. "Tyler and I are seniors, and Joe is a junior." Moze nodded in understanding.
"I'm pretty much against the President and his actions," Tyler spoke. Ned nodded, and then, everyone looked at Joe, who was keying away at a laptop he pulled out of nowhere.
"Don't ask what Joe's doing – he's probably following the stock market as we speak," Tyler warned.
"Hey, Joe, do you know about cyborg technology?" Cookie asked him.
Joe looked up from his laptop. "I do! I actually experimented with it once, but I didn't get it working right."
"Maybe I can show you how to work it," Cookie said.
"That would really be helpful! That way, I don't have to keep pulling out this big laptop during the middle of class."
"Moze, what are you interested in?" Phil asked.
"I liked woodshop in middle-school," Moze said. "It's too bad they don't have it here in high-school."
"Well, they've got auto-tech, which is something very similar. You like maintaining cars?" Phil asked.
"Not really, but I can give it a shot," Moze said.
"Great," Phil grinned. But then, the six shut up when they felt an uncomfortable silence in the room. They turned to face the front, and they saw Mr. Matzger with his arms crossed.
"Detention for the six of you," he said in an upset manner.