Hello, and thanks for checking out my story! Just a bit of housekeeping before you get started...

1. This is first and foremost a Tokka story. Though there's lots of other stuff having to do with the early years of Republic City and its growth, Toph's relationship with Sokka (in all its forms) is the primary focus. It's very angsty (seriously), but more or less satisfying in the end. The secondary focus is Toph's outlook on motherhood and her relationship with Lin.

2. The narrator is not to be trusted!

3. This is a long-term character study with slice-of-life elements. There is no overarching theme or structured arc, though many parts of the storytelling do carry through and come up later.

4. There's some heavy stuff in this story. I've tried to hit all parts of the emotional spectrum, as well as a range of human experiences. If you're worried about triggering topics, feel free to PM with questions. That said, there's nothing really twisted.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy my story!

‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›

PART 1: Terrible Teens

‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›

Prologue

Somewhere in the Earth Kingdom during the Hundred Year War...

"Let's see," Sokka mused. "What other colors have we not done? Yellow is a great color. It's soft and warm. The sun is yellow. Well, actually, I guess it just feels yellow."

"What does that even mean?" Toph asked.

"I don't know," he said with a laugh. "The sun is actually so bright that it's just pure light. You can't even look right at it, or you could go bli–" He cut off abruptly.

"Blind?" she guessed, chuckling. "Well, I was born blind, so I don't think that's what happened to me." She leaned back onto the grass, crossing her arms behind her head, pretending she was looking up at the sky. "Tell me more about blue."

Sokka reclined, too, their elbows touching. Toph found she didn't mind.

"Katara and I have blue eyes. Not like the sky, though. More of a steel blue."

"What? Every color has more colors?"

"There's an infinite number of colors. Each one fades into the next. It's like...steps. Or a ramp. There's sky blue and teal and aquamarine. Icy blue. Turquoise. Those are called shades. A lot of shades are named after an object. Turquoise is a gem, so anything that's the same color is described as turquoise."

"So if your eyes are 'steel blue', does that mean steel is blue?"

He laughed. "Er...well, actually no. It's gray. Or silver."

"Huh? So then why is that kind of blue described as 'steel'?

"You know, I'm not entirely sure. I guess...maybe it's saying that steel blue has a touch of gray in it."

Toph just shook her head, knowing she'd never fully understand it. "You said the sky is blue during the day. But what about at night?"

"Black. A true, deep black. Nothingness, except for the light of the moon and stars. But in the morning and evening, when the sun rises and sets, the sky becomes all shades of red, orange, and yellow. Warm colors, streaking across the horizon, blending with each other. But always different. No two are the same. If there are clouds, they look like they're on fire. That's what it looks like right now."

Much to her irritation, Toph's eyes welled up with tears. His words were so genuine. He was trying so hard to make her see what he saw. She lay there in silence, afraid if she spoke her voice would betray her. He went quiet, too, and she wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about her being blind? Feeling pity that she'd never be able to see? It annoyed her, but there was another feeling underneath that. A warmth. She had never had friends before leaving home, and now she had three. And she thought maybe Sokka was her favorite.

‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›

Two Years Later

"So are you still bored?" Suki asked.

Toph turned to acknowledge her friend, though she'd heard her coming up the trail. Atop her favorite thinking rock in the secluded wooded area, she'd hoped to be left alone for a little while longer. "Nope," she said with a smirk, though the humor was forced. "I think boredom is the least of my worries now. I really should have expected this to happen. I mean, lavabending? What the fuck was I thinking?!" She threw her hands in the air dramatically.

"The Academy has enough money coming in now to repair the damages, though, right?"

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," Toph said with a dismissive wave. "I can probably fix most of it myself. But if someone gets their legs melted off, not much I can do about that."

"Fair point."

"How is Sun doing?"

"Sokka's talking to him."

Toph sighed. "I hope he doesn't leave. I put a lot of effort into recruiting him. I was just too ambitious, I guess. I want to help him master lavabending, mostly because I want to learn it myself, but I really can't justify anyone actually practicing it here."

"Well, you'll just have to find a safe place off-site."

"Yeah, I know. I think I might send a few of the older students out to scout around. Heh. Unless you and Sokka need something to do."

Suki laughed. "No offense, but we've got better things to do."

"I figured. It was worth a shot."

"Actually, about that…" She trailed off, sounding uncertain.

"What?"

"Well, the truth is, the concert wasn't the only reason I came here."

"Oh?"

"I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but here goes. The newly formed Council in Cranef– I mean Republic City has heard how much you and your metalbending students have helped curb crime in Yu Dao. They wanted me to ask you if you'd be willing to do the same there, once the railroad extension is up and running."

Toph let out a long breath. She hadn't been expecting that, though really, she should have. Still, it was hard not to be flattered. "Republic City is already more than ten times the size of Yu Dao, and growing fast. Do they realize how massive an undertaking that would be?"

"I'm sure they do. The crime there is unreal, Toph. Liling's revolution was just the tip of the iceberg. It's all Aang and the Councilmembers can do to keep the city from erupting into chaos. The tension between the benders and non-benders isn't even the biggest problem anymore. There are signs that underground crime groups are starting to form. Add that to petty crime from the ongoing housing crisis… Honestly, I lie awake at night worried about what fresh chaos the next day will bring. There's only so much the Kyoshi Warriors can do. There just aren't enough of us."

"I'm beginning to understand why they sent you to ask me," Toph muttered. She hated what the city was becoming. "Why don't they ask Kori? She's the one who's really in charge of law enforcement here. I just help out."

"I spoke with her yesterday, actually. She's open to the idea, though it's clear her heart is in Yu Dao. I doubt she'd be willing to spend much time away. I assume the same is probably true for you."

"You know, when I said I was bored – before the lavabending fiasco, I mean – I didn't mean that I wasn't busy. Most days I don't even have an hour to myself. I'm not sure how much more I'm going to be able to take on." For just a moment, she allowed herself to dwell on the weight of the burdens she carried. Between the Academy, the partnership with her father's refinery, and helping Kori in Yu Dao, she had long since forgotten what it felt like to just be a kid, despite only being fourteen. But this was what she wanted, right? The alternative was becoming stagnant. Obsolete. Toph Beifong refused to be forgotten.

"Well, in any case," Suki said, "you have some time to think about it. The railroad won't be operational for another six months. If nothing else, maybe you can start sending fresh graduates our way."

"Now that, I can do. Lots of them are already familiar with the city from our trips to the refinery. Granted, they're not all combat-ready, but most of them are fairly trainable." She slid off the boulder to the ground. "Anyway. I'm getting hungry. You guys staying the night?"

"Yeah, we're going to leave in the morning."

Heat. Pain. Complete and total blindness, save for the one thing that tethered her to the world: Sokka's sweaty hand. And she was slipping.

"It looks like this is the end…"

The fear built and built. Tears streamed from her eyes. Heat. Pain. Panic.

"It looks like this is the end…"

She couldn't hold on. Their fingers were just barely hooked by the very tips, straining. And then she was falling.

"Toph! Toph! Wake up!"

She jerked violently, gasping, the feeling of falling still with her, and reached out for something to hold onto. Her hands found strong forearms and gripped them for dear life. "S-Sokka?" The nightmare finally started to fade, though she was still frantically gulping air, trying to catch her breath. "What– What are you doing in here?"

"I was walking by and heard you from the hall." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Nightmare?"

"Ya think?" She pulled her hands away, feeling a bit silly now that she was fully awake. His arm was resting across her leg, making her feel something she did not want to feel right now.

"The usual one, I guess?"

"...Yeah."

"I still have it too, sometimes."

She wasn't in any mood to appreciate his attempt to comfort her. "I'm okay. You should get back to bed. You've got an early start in the morning."

"You're sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm good. Thanks."

"...Alright," he said finally, voice full of doubt. "Well, goodnight. Again."

As soon as the door shut behind him, Toph flopped face down on her pillow and let out a frustrated groan. Why did he have to be so fucking nice and attentive to her? Coming into her bedroom in the middle of the night… Didn't he see how inappropriate that was? She wasn't a little kid anymore.

It was a two-part problem, the way she saw it. First, there was the unbreakable bond of friendship they shared from their war days, forged through near-death experiences. That wasn't something that would ever go away, and she didn't want it to do. She relied on it in so many ways. It was the second part that made the first part a problem: She had the hots for him. There was no getting around it, and reconciling those two things was proving to be difficult.

It had started out innocently enough. Falling headfirst into adolescence, she had become enamored with his goofy humor, his loyal sincerity, his unflappable bravery. She would catch herself getting butterflies in her stomach when he was near enough that his scent filled her nose, or when he idly put his hand on her shoulder. Sometimes, while they slept beneath the stars on their travels, he would roll over and his arm might flop across her waist. She would wake and lie there for hours, feeling something strange and new and not entirely unpleasant. It was maddening and unstoppable.

Then Suki came into the picture. It wasn't that Toph was jealous of her, exactly – maybe jealous that she got the affection Toph's young, innocent mind craved - but it wasn't as if she saw herself as a competitor. Sokka was just her friend. A friend that she happened to be attracted to. That was it. The true issue with Suki was that Toph had accidentally revealed a tad too much about her secret feelings. It was a constant source of embarrassment, despite the fact that she considered Suki a close friend.

After the war ended and the group began to see less of each other, Toph assumed her silly, girlish feelings would fade away. She was growing up. And boys were hardly her priority, anyway. Earth and metalbending were what she cared about. The Academy and the refinery consumed her life, and she liked it that way.

Unfortunately, 'growing up' had a side effect that she did not properly anticipate. Although Sokka was around less frequently, when he was, it was like someone had lit a fire in her gut. Suddenly her fantasies – those rare times she allowed them to happen – were far less innocent. The only consolation was that he at least appeared to be completely oblivious; she was sure he would tease her mercilessly if he knew. Or worse – he would avoid her.

The most infuriating part of it all was that there was nothing she could do. Those stupid feelings were completely involuntary. It wasn't as if she lay awake at night pining for him. No. Sokka was her friend. Her best friend. She didn't want that to change. What she wanted was to get past this ridiculous hormonal phase of her life so she could fucking concentrate on important things, like new metalbending techniques. So she could stand to be around him without that burning ache.

Toph's reverie was broken when she suddenly became aware of Sokka and Suki's voices. Though she couldn't make out any more than the odd word, she was quite sure at least one of those words was her name. With a groan, she grabbed the pillow and shoved it over her head, clamping it down over her ears.

As Sokka headed back to his room, he considered Toph's mood. She wasn't usually one for opening up about her feelings, but they had always shared a special bond that he took for granted while they were still fighting in the war. Ever since, there were times when it seemed like she was being distant.

She probably wants to seem all grown up, he thought to himself with a little half-smile. Not that she had ever come across as a helpless little girl. But it seemed like, lately, she was trying to prove something to the world, with all the responsibilities she was taking on.

He climbed back into bed and Suki rolled over.

"Everything okay?" she asked sleepily.

"I got up to pee and heard Toph from the hall on my way back. She was having 'the nightmare' again."

Suki made a sympathetic noise. "Poor kid."

"I tried to get her to talk about it, but… Well, you know how she is."

"Mm."

"I'm worried about her. That she's trying to do too much. You're not helping with that, by the way," he admonished, though his tone was light.

"Hey, I'm just the messenger. Besides, won't it be better if she spends more time in Republic City, so big brother Sokka can keep an eye on her?" She patted his cheek affectionately.

"That's true," he allowed, a little cheered by the thought.

"Now shush. I'm trying to sleep."

"You're sure you don't want to come back with us for a visit?" Sokka asked the next morning, standing at the head of the trail down to Yu Dao. "I'm sure your dad would enjoy seeing you."

"Have you seen the mess I gotta clean up here?" Toph said, shoving down the irrational desire to go with him. "Anyway, I've got my work cut out for me with Sun."

"Heh. I guess so. Well, I guess I'll see you when I see you, then." He gave her a big bear hug and squeezed tightly, making that constant ache in her stomach flare painfully.

"See ya later, Meathead. Bye, Suki."

"Bye!" they chorused, their footsteps retreating.

A very familiar mix of regret and relief washed over Toph. She turned on her heels and headed back through the entry arch to deal with the fallout of her colossal mistake. "Alright you lily livers, listen up! Today we're gonna clean up this mess. I need all the intermediate earthbenders to start pulling out the cooled lava. Beginners, start transporting it to the west clearing. Advanced earthbenders, you're with me."

"Sifu Toph!" Penga said, sounding fretful. "I can't find Sun and his friends. I think they left!"

"Dammit," Toph muttered under her breath. "Okay, advanced earthbenders, I want you to focus on structural integrity. Make sure everything is sound. I'll be back soon. Penga's in charge!"

She heard the Dark One huff in annoyance as she turned to head into town. Whatever. Just because he was older didn't mean anyone listened to him. Penga may have been barely ten, but she was feisty and she could yell.

One fifteen-minute walk later, Toph reached the walls of Yu Dao. She knew these streets better than those of her own hometown. It was a sizeable city, but there were only so many places Sun would be. It was in the third such place that she heard his voice. His companions scattered when they saw Toph, but Sun stood his ground.

"How did you find me?"

"You're hopelessly predictable."

"Well, I'm not coming back. You said if things didn't work out, I could leave whenever I wanted and no one would try to stop me."

"I said no one would force you to stay." She sat down on a nearby crate. "Look. I get it, okay? We're all a little rattled by what happened."

"I almost killed someone!"

"But you didn't."

"Just forget it, alright? I'm never lavabending again."

"I'm not so sure you have a choice. What, are you never going to earthbend again, either? I know that's how you've always gotten money. If you fight, it's going to happen. Period. Next time, someone might actually get hurt."

"What am I supposed to do, then?!" Sun exploded. The ground rumbled beneath them, the vibration pattern unique.

"Well, first I want you to calm down," Toph said gingerly, a little bit alarmed.

Sun slumped down, sitting hard. "How could you possibly help me? You're not a lavabender."

"Yet."

"So that's it, then?" he said bitterly. "That's why you're trying so hard. You want to learn. It's not even about me."

"Why not both? You think I would have started a free Academy if I only cared about my own skills?"

"If I come back, you won't even have an Academy soon."

"You're right," she agreed. "No way can we train lavabending there. But there are other options. There's tons of wilderness out there. We've just got to find a good place, away from everything."

"Like you have the time for that."

"I'll make time."

And she did. Less than two weeks later, they stood alone in an empty corner of a treeless valley, far from the city.

"You ready?" Toph asked.

"Yeah."

She nodded in approval. His stance was good, nice and solid. She raised her hands and started shaking the earth around his feet, just to make sure he was grounded. He didn't budge. With a deft movement, she attacked, first with chunks of boulders. When he blocked those easily, she picked up the pace.

Next, she added pillars, shooting up around him, trying to confuse him. She made the earth ripple beneath him. Yes, he was getting flustered now. Good. A boulder hit him square in the chest, knocking him onto his back. Again and again, she knocked him down, not hard enough to cause injury, but enough to annoy him.

That telltale vibration began deep in the earth, his hands plunged into the ground. His heart was racing wildly. Suddenly the ground between them exploded in heat. Toph had to think fast, throwing up a wall to protect herself from the splash. She backed away and circled to make sure he was okay. Sun was just standing there, frozen, all the fight gone out of him.

"What's wrong with you? Do something!" Toph yelled. She sent a pebble flying at his head, just to get his attention. He rounded on her, and she sensed a wave of heat coming toward her. With a hurried stomp, she pushed a pillar up beneath her feet, throwing herself backward. It was an awkward, desperate move, and she landed hard about twenty feet away.

"Sifu! I– Are you okay? I didn't mean to do it!"

"Ugh. No, it's fine. I'm okay." She could feel his hands shaking as he helped her up. "That was good."

"Are you serious?! I nearly killed you!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. I had everything under control." But her hand shook slightly; she hoped he didn't notice.

He slumped down to a crouch. "I'm never going to learn how to control it."

"This is only the second time we've tried! Let's go through what happened. After you made the lava, why did you stop? What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking that no one should be able to do this because it's super fucking dangerous."

"That's why we're practicing! See, what we need to do is take the emotion out of it."

"But getting emotional is the only way I know how to do it!"

Toph chewed her lip in thought for a second. She could still feel the ground bubbling nearby. "Alright, get up. Come on." She approached the lava cautiously, creating a protective wall between it and them, and rested her arms on it. "Okay. It's here now. We just gotta do something with it before it finishes cooling down. This stuff on top is almost solid, but there's still lava underneath. Try to bend it."

Sun came over and took a stance; Toph paid close attention to what he was doing. A bit of the hardening lava bubbled up. She could feel his pulse racing, breathing becoming labored. "You're straining."

"Ugh. This is impossible," he complained, relaxing.

"You're really gonna give up so easily?" Toph growled, rounding on him. "Do you know how long it took my first students to move a fucking metal coin? Months! It took them months to figure it out! And you're going to fucking give up after two tries?!"

"Just forget it!" Sun said before storming off, back to civilization.

"Coward!" She leaned against her little wall and let out a frustrated breath, displacing the hair that hung over her face. How was she supposed to learn if he didn't? More importantly, he was apt to kill someone if he didn't figure this out. And now she had to solve the problem of making this area safe without any water. Maybe she could do a little experimenting…

Taking a deep stance, she reached out with her senses. Felt the heat in the ground. It didn't even feel like earth or rock, not like what she was used to. Even metal was more familiar. This felt like something totally different. Not solid, not liquid. How could she grasp onto something that foreign? Sun was right: this was not easy.

Nearly an hour later, without a single bit of success, Toph furiously grabbed a huge chunk of a nearby hill and threw it onto the mostly cooled pool of lava.

‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›

"Yeah! Fuck yeah!" Toph pumped her fist in the air. "Keep going!" Keeping well back, she had her hand pressed to the ground to carefully observe. A column of lava rose slowly up in response to Sun's gestures. She could feel him shaking, even from this far away.

"Ugh. I can't– I'm losing it!" He jumped backward and the pillar sunk back down into the pool, rather anticlimactically.

"That was great!" Toph said.

"All I did was move it a little," Sun said despondently, panting. "Months, we've been at this. I still barely have any control."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit," Toph said, crossing her arms. "I know it's not easy. If it was, I would have figured it out by now."

Sun stood there for a few moments, not speaking. "You really want to lavabend?"

"Duh."

"Hm."

"What?"

"I bet you can't. I bet you'll never get it."

"What?! I'm the greatest–!" He abruptly earthbent a sizable boulder at her face; she barely reacted in time to block it. "What the fuck are you doing? You honestly think you can take me?" Toph yelled, annoyed with his relentless attacks but not struggling in any way.

"You're a horrible teacher. I should have just gone and found another lavabender to train me. I should be so much better by now."

In some corner of her mind, she was well aware of what he was doing. But in the moment, with most of her attention occupied with physically defending herself, his words struck a nerve. The heat from the nearby lava pool tugged on her senses, resonating with the anger and hurt she was feeling, and she plunged her hands into the ground, making it ripple and roll. Compressing. Folding. It was like cutting into soft butter.

The ground around her exploded in liquid fire. Her mind was chaos and rage and pain. It pulsed all around her, ripping apart her sense of the world.

"Sifu Toph! Stop!"

Sun's terrified, pleading voice cut through the fury, and Toph returned to reality. Every pore was dripping sweat; she was standing on a tiny island of rock and dirt, surrounded by lava. Panic seized her. She didn't know what to do. The heat was almost unbearable, making it hard to think. She couldn't get a good reading on how far the new pool extended.

Okay. Just...breathe. There's rock beneath your feet. She exhaled slowly, gathered her courage, then slammed her foot down hard. Her little island shot out at a shallow angle and she hurtled through the air at a terrifying speed. Her landing was somewhat less than graceful, but she was alive and unhurt. She realized, with slight embarrassment, that she had grossly overestimated the size of the lava pool. It wasn't actually that big.

"You alright?" she asked, jogging over to where Sun was cowering behind some rocks.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." He cleared his throat and stood up. "I didn't mean those things I said, you know. I was just trying to make you mad."

"Well, it worked," Toph said with a smirk.

"So...what did it feel like?"

"Sokka once tried to explain color to me. He said red was the color of heat and anger and pain. I feel like I have now fully grasped that concept."

"Yup," Sun said simply. "You got it."

‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›

A/N: If you're interested in reading the whole conversation between Toph and Sokka that's featured in the prologue, check out my one-shot titled 'Color'.