Toph had just opened her mouth to do some more yelling when her ears picked up the sound of Appa's roar. "Alright, lily livers!" she called with a grin. "We're done for today. I got somewhere to be."

Her exhausted students groaned in relief and began dragging themselves away. Less than a minute later, Appa touched down in the courtyard, the ripples far gentler than his massive bulk suggested.

"Ready to go?" Aang asked brightly.

"Yep."

It only took a few minutes to get to Air Temple Island, where she found her closest friends gathered and waiting for her.

"Toph! My best friend!" Sokka exclaimed, nearly knocking her over with a bear hug. "Happy birthday!"

"Wow, you must've started the party early," she said with a laugh.

"He has been drinking your birthday present," Suki said.

He clumsily pushed Toph away, nearly knocking her over again. "Hey! I just wanted to make sure it was the good stuff before she got here! Look, T, I know you said you didn't want any presents, but trust me, you're gonna love this!"

"What is it?"

"Cactus juice!" he cried exuberantly. "All the way from the desert! I ordered it weeks ago!"

"Oh?" Toph was intrigued.

"Just so you know," Katara said, handing her a glass, "I do not approve." But there was a smile in her voice. "Happy birthday, Toph. If you were Water Tribe, you'd officially be an adult now."

"Hm..." Toph sniffed the contents of the glass. "Hey, Sugar Queen? Make sure I don't do anything too stupid, okay?"

"No promises, but I'll do my best."

She drained the glass, encouraged by Sokka shouting, "Chug, chug, chug!"

"How long does it take this stuff to-" She cut off when she realized they all appeared to be sinking into a pool of lava. "Oh, fuck! What did I do!?"

"It's okay," Sokka drawled, throwing his arm - and a significant portion of his considerable weight - across her shoulders. "I see it, too. They don't seem to care. Typical, amirite?"

"So there really is lava? I'm not crazy?"

"Lava? No, no, I'm talking about the armadillo bears. At first, I thought they were going to attack, but now it looks like they just want to be friends. See, look, they're right over there."

"I'm blind, Meathead! How many times I gotta say it?!"

He suddenly bent down and grabbed her ankle, lifting her foot and stomping it on the ground. "Look with your feet!" But his over-exaggerated motion took her by surprise and, in her inebriated state, she lost her balance and they tumbled to the ground in a heap.

"Oh, for Spirits' sake," Katara complained, while the others laughed. Toph realized after a moment that she was laughing, too. Her limbs were all tangled up with Sokka's and the harder they tried to free themselves, the funnier it got. But a big part of her didn't want to detach her body from his, so she wasn't trying very hard. In fact, she quickly gave up and started wrestling with him instead, immensely enjoying the feeling of his hands on her.

Unfortunately, the others quickly broke up the friendly fight, Suki helping her to her feet. "I gotta say, I'm pretty curious what it's like to drink cactus juice as a blind person. It's known for the visual hallucinations, but I guess it would affect you a little differently."

"Well," Toph began, her lips feeling a little sluggish. "Everyone sounds funny. Like, funny, you know? And my feet are seeing lots of stuff that I guess probably isn't real. But I'm pretty sure Appa has ten feet now. You should go check on him, Aang. He seems really worried."

"I think he's fine," Aang said, laughing.

Time became irrelevant for Toph. For a while, it was just one bizarre sensation after another. It wasn't all funny, either. Some of it, like the lava, was terrifying. But Sokka was always there, telling her that he would protect her from whatever it was. And she would promptly slug him and say she didn't need protection from him or anyone else.

The worst was when a dozen monstrous worms began burrowing up from the depths underneath the Island. She kept trying to warn everyone of the impending disaster but no one was listening to her. Even Sokka brushed off her worries, too preoccupied with some nonsense about whatever Momo was saying to him. As the vicious, toothed worms neared the surface, Toph decided she had to take matters into her own hands.

"Toph? TOPH, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"The worms-!"

And the next thing she knew, she was laid out flat, chi blocked. The worms had vanished.

"I hate all of you so much."

"I'm really sorry," Suki said. "I didn't know what else to do."

"There are no giant worms, Toph," Aang said, propping her up with an earthbent rock. "Just try to relax."

"I know there are no giant worms. I'm not an idiot."

"Then why were you trying to destroy the Island?" Katara asked.

Toph was too annoyed and embarrassed to respond. All she could do was lie there uselessly while they chatted around a crackling fire and teased Sokka. Eventually, her head cleared and the feeling began to come back into her limbs. Momo curled up in her lap and went to sleep, and she tried to retrace the vague memories of the night. It was all fading quickly, as if none of it had ever happened.

"I thought this stuff took longer to wear off?" she commented, remembering Sokka's desert experience.

"You're thinking of raw cactus juice," Suki said. "This stuff is processed. Potent, but brief. I imagine it helps them sell more of it."

"Ready for some more?" Sokka asked eagerly.

"NO!" everyone else shouted.

"I was kidding! Sheesh, you guys are no fun. You should try some yourself, Sis. Loosen up a bit."

"No thanks," Katara scoffed.

"What about you, Aang? Or has Katara sucked all the fun out of you?"

Toph and Suki both burst out laughing, enthusiastically enough that Momo screeched and leapt away, back to Aang.

"What-? Oh, c'mon!" Sokka protested. "I didn't mean it like that! You two are disgusting!"

"No more cactus juice for you, Meathead," Toph said between laughs, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Agreed," Suki added.

"Ugh! You guys are gross. I would never-"

"Hey, Toph," Katara interrupted, likely wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible, judging by her elevated heart rate, "did you notice how much the construction has come along when you got here?"

"Yeah, it's really coming together. Though I still don't get you why guys are sleeping in shacks out here when you could have a real house in the city. Wasn't the Council willing to provide a place?"

"It's peaceful here," Aang said. "I can't sleep over there. Too noisy."

"We spend so much time traveling around, it doesn't really matter," Katara added. "Besides, what time we do have here is spent overseeing the construction, so it makes sense to be here. Anyway, it's better than sleeping on the ground, like we did during the war."

A sudden somber nostalgia washed over Toph. "Do you guys ever miss it?"

"What? Sleeping on the ground?"

"No. The war. I mean, not the war. The adventures."

For a long moment, no one said anything. Then Sokka drew in a deep breath. "SECRET TUNNELLLL! THROUGH THE MOUNTAINNNN!"

Aang and Katara both started laughing and Suki groaned softly. Toph's shoulders slumped, though she couldn't quite understand her mood.

"Hey. Guys," Suki said, cutting through the laughter.

It took a few seconds, but they all fell quiet. Toph, still coming off the woozy feeling that cactus juice had left behind, realized with surprise and mortification that her cheeks were wet. Suddenly Sokka was in front of her, his hand on her knee.

"Hey," he said softly. "What's wrong?"

Toph blinked, a little confused by it all. She wished he'd move his hand. And she hoped he didn't. "Nothing." She could actually feel his hand sliding further up her leg, but in some corner of her mind, she knew it wasn't real. Still, it didn't stop her from blushing furiously.

"You're crying."

"I'm not- I don't- Ugh." She pushed his hand off her knee, tired of her mind playing tricks on her. "Fucking cactus juice."

"Was my singing really that bad?" Despite the playfulness, there was concern in his voice.

"I hate that fucking song." She tried to laugh, but her voice shook and ruined it. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm never drinking cactus juice again!

"Well, shit. I didn't mean to bring down the whole party," Sokka said. "You guys laughed," he added, presumably to Aang and Katara.

"Toph and I weren't there for that adventure," Suki reminded him. "It's not as funny to us."

"It wasn't funny! It was awful!"

There was a heavy pause and Toph became keenly aware of how much non-verbal communication she missed out on.

"Hey, T," Sokka said. "Remember that time I fell in a hole and you almost let me get eaten by a saber-tooth moose lion?"

She forced a grin, aggressively pushing away the gloomy mood she'd fallen into. "Blame Twinkle Toes. He was the one who got so whiny about not being able to earthbend. And I wasn't going to let it eat you. Maybe just chew on you a little bit."

"Wh- I was not whiny!" Aang protested. "Earth is my natural opposite. And I was just a kid!"

"You were a whiny little bitch," Toph asserted, jabbing her finger in his direction. "But...you got there, in the end. Fortunately, before Sokka lost some fingers."

"Hey, here's a good memory," Sokka said. "That time I made an awesome sand sculpture of Suki, and Zuko had the nerve to destroy it."

"He did us a favor! It was hideous."

"Pfft. How do you know? You're blind, remember?" he shot back mockingly.

"My feet wished they were blind, too, after they saw it."

Aang, Katara, and Suki howled with laughter; Toph smiled contentedly, feeling much better.

"Well that's just rude," Sokka said loftily.

"It's too bad Zuko's not here, too," Aang lamented. "Would be nice to get the whole gang together again." There was a round of murmured agreement.

"He still owes me a life-changing field trip," Toph said. "And I'm still mad I missed out on helping find his mom. I would have loved getting the chance to toss Azula around." She pounded her fist into her palm, relishing the thought.

"It's not like we didn't invite you," Katara said dryly.

"I know, I know. It wasn't a good time for me to leave. But I still regret missing out."

"Yeah, I got stuck on guard duty while they went off and had fun," Suki said in a commiserating tone. "Someone had to stay behind and be an adult."

"I've got news for you two," Aang said. "It wasn't that fun."

Somehow, they were back to talking about things Toph hadn't been around for and she sighed, annoyed. "Has there been any sign of Azula?" she asked to change the subject.

"Not that I know of. It's a little worrying, to be honest."

"It's been two years," Suki said. "If she was going to cause more trouble, I think she would have by now."

"I'd still rather know what she was up to."

The worry in his voice was clear and Toph began to regret asking.

"Spirits, why do we keep talking about depressing things?" Sokka complained, apparently having the same thought. "This is a party! Don't you guys have any booze?"

"I've got half a bottle of whiskey in my bag," Suki offered.

"What? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"Actually, I forgot it was there until you said something. Besides, you two were out of your minds on cactus juice so it was probably for the best."

"Well, I think we're good now."

"Alright, if you say so." She began rummaging through her bag. "I don't have anything to mix it with, sorry."

"Straight from the bottle is fine with me."

Toph heard a loud sigh come from Katara as Suki offered the bottle. She took a small sip and handed it off to Sokka. It burned all the way down, but she managed not to cough. They passed it around a few times - Aang and Katara abstaining - reminiscing about old times. Half an hour later, Toph had a warm buzz, the dour mood from earlier long forgotten.

"-and then, and then I said 'That's why you don't mess with the Water Tribe!'" Sokka erupted into laughter.

Everyone else laughed too, even though the story wasn't actually that funny. Sokka had kept drinking after Toph and Suki stopped; he was pretty drunk. There was a small part of Toph that had wanted to keep drinking too, to lose herself and do something stupid with him. Okay, it wasn't such a small part, but neither was it a loud part. After all, Suki, Aang, and Katara were all there, too. It's not like it would ever happen, even if he were willing, which he wouldn't be.

She sighed wistfully. The warmth in her body was definitely not just from the whiskey. She craved something she had no way of getting. It didn't even need to be Sokka, she allowed. But there just weren't that many people she felt even the slightest attraction to. Sokka and Satoru. That was it. Her entire world of pent-up frustrations. And neither were available.

"You look like you're getting sleepy, Toph," Katara said.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know. Probably ten or eleven."

"Man, I forgot all about eating dinner," Toph said, realizing she was hungry.

Katara laughed. "We ate right after you got here."

"We did?"

"Yeah. You stuffed your face. I thought for sure you were going to make yourself sick."

"It's okay, T," Sokka said. "I don't remember, either."

"Well. I guess I should probably get home. I've got a long day tomorrow."

"Alright, I'll take you back," Aang offered. "You guys coming, too?"

"No, Aang," Sokka drawled drunkenly. "We are going to swim home. Did you bring your swimsuit, Suki?"

"I meant are you wanting to stay longer or go home now?"

"I think it's time to go," Suki said. "I've got to be up early, too."

"Not me!" Sokka said, flopping onto his back dramatically. "I'm gonna sleep 'til noon!"

"Of course you are, Snoozles. That's why your name is Snoozles."

They all said their goodbyes to Katara, Toph being last and receiving a big hug. "I hope you had a nice birthday. I didn't quite go how I expected, but I guess with this group that's probably how it's always going to be."

"I actually had a good time. I think. Anyway, I miss us all getting together. And not, you know, fighting for our lives."

"You said it, sister."

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"Man, sometimes I forget how nice it is to talk to a real adult," Toph said, sipping her sake. "Do you want to know what I had to deal with yesterday? I had to break up a fight. Between Michi and Turo. Because Michi called him a 'butt'."

Kori threw her head back and howled with laughter. She was usually a more reserved person but had maybe had a tad too much to drink tonight. The two of them had met up at the police station in Yu Dao to chat and were enjoying a bottle of sake in the staff room.

"Some days I feel like I'm running a fucking daycare!" Toph exclaimed, though she was chuckling too.

"Oh, come on. You teach plenty of adults."

"I know. But I'm not friends with them. They're all just...students. They're all the same to me."

"So you never hooked up with any of them? I mean, the ones closer to your age."

Toph smirked at the blunt question, though she appreciated not being treated like an innocent child. Even Sokka, who had the utmost respect for her, would never banter with her about this sort of thing. "Nah."

"Really? You don't strike me as the prudish type."

"I'm not. It's just impossible for me to be attracted to any of them. Trust me, I wish I could be. I've got enough pent-up frustration to power the goddamn train."

Kori laughed again. "Well, what about that Satoru guy? He's not one of your students. And I seem to remember he's pretty good-looking."

"I wouldn't know. But yeah, I'd be all over that. If he were around. And showed an ounce of interest."

"Where did he go?"

"He's in Gaipan, at another one of my father's refineries." She shook her head with a pensive frown. "It was weird. He just kinda took off. I mean, he was back and forth for a while, but then one day he just didn't come back. Probably has a girlfriend there or something."

"All the good ones do," Kori said wistfully. "Like, don't get me wrong, Suki's my best friend, but whew, Sokka is a catch. You're missing out, not being able to see those muscles. Though I guess you probably know, from all the hugs," she added mischievously.

Toph felt her cheeks - and other parts of her - grow warm from thinking about Sokka's hugs.

"Oooh, girl," Kori exclaimed, laughing. "You too, huh? I don't blame you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." It was a genuine attempt, though she knew it wasn't even a little bit convincing.

"Hehe. See, I know you're lying, otherwise you would have made a crude, sarcastic comment about him, rather than clamming up and blushing."

"For the record, I can see his muscles just fine," Toph said stubbornly. "And everything else, too, by the way."

Kori slapped the table. "Oh, Spirits, I never thought of that! Clothes don't mean much to you, do they?"

"They do not."

"I shouldn't ask, but now I have to..." Kori managed through her laughter. "I mean, he's got pretty big feet…"

"Above average," Toph said bluntly, trying hard to play it cool. "Though, I can say with some confidence that there's no real connection, in the grand scheme."

"I imagine you're probably the leading expert, as hilariously ironic as that is."

"Earthbender, metalbender, sandbender, connoisseur of cock sizes. I'm a woman of many talents."

Kori laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. "Fuck, I think I might be a little drunk."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

"Hah. Shut up, Cock Connoisseur."

At that, Toph finally had to bark out a laugh. "What a great nickname. Do me a favor, call me that in front of my father. With any luck, he'll never speak to me again."

"I'd rather call you that in front of Sokka!"

Her amusement faded into a grimace. "I doubt he'd think it was funny. He still sees me as a little kid. It's kind of annoying, actually."

"He obviously loves you, though. I mean, I'm not saying he's in love with you. But he does love you. He'd die for you."

"We went through a lot together," Toph said sadly. She didn't want to think about Sokka dying for her.

"Mhmm. Bonded for life. You never know, he and Suki might break up one day. You'll be all grown up. Who knows what could happen in the future?"

She found herself growing uncomfortable with the conversation, not at all willing to reveal the depths of her attraction to Sokka, or worse- give Kori the inaccurate impression that she wanted to steal him away from Suki. "Wow, you really are drunk. And you seem to have forgotten why I came here in the first place."

"Right, right. You wanted to talk to me about metalbending. Go ahead."

"Okay, so a couple of years ago I tried incorporating metal cables into fighting. It, uh...didn't go well, so I kinda forgot about it. But the other day, I was thinking about your weapon of choice and it reminded me. I think I'd like to pursue it, and your experience with your flail might be of use."

"Hm. Metal cables. Sounds intriguing. Were you thinking something similar to a flail? Putting weapons on the end?"

"I don't know. Is that practical?"

"Mm, probably not. It's not an easy style to master. I think the most practical use would be...um…" She paused, tapping her fingers on the table. "Ah, fuck, what's the word? My brain isn't working right now. Suppression. Use them to catch people and tie them up. Actually, pretty useful for law enforcement. You'd need some way to contain the cables, though, to carry them around. I bet your engineer friend could help you with that."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll have to ask him if I ever see him again."

"So, does this mean you're interested in rejoining me and Suki in Republic City?"

"Eh… I don't think so. I'm pretty happy where I am at the moment. But I'm constantly looking for new things to do with metalbending. If I can give my metalbenders an edge out there, all the better."

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"What in the world are you doing out here?"

Toph, sitting cross-legged in the dirt, had been well aware of Sokka's approach but was content to let him come to her. "Michi was driving me crazy. I needed a break."

He sat down next to her. "Yeah, I don't blame you. That kid is annoying."

"Oh, good, it's not just me, then. I was beginning to think I was becoming a bitter old lady."

"Nah. She's obnoxious. I don't know how you put up with it every day."

"Mostly I just make Penga deal with her," she said with a shrug.

"Very resourceful."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"So...you gonna tell me why you're here?" Toph asked finally. It was unusual for him to show up at the Academy unexpectedly. More than that, though, he seemed nervous. And that made her nervous.

"Actually...I wanted to get your opinion on something."

"Okay?"

He took one of her hands and placed a stone in it. A stone connected to a thick piece of ribbon.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's for Suki."

Toph traced her fingers across it, feeling deep, carved ridges. Suddenly she knew what it was. A cold, hard sensation formed in the pit of her stomach. This kind of serious romantic crap made her wildly uncomfortable. "Wasn't her birthday last month?" she asked, playing dumb.

"It's not for her birthday. It's a betrothal necklace."

"Oh." Yep, hearing it out loud was worse. She tried hard not to roll her eyes; he'd probably be offended by that. "I thought that was a Northern Water Tribe thing?"

"You're right, it is. We don't really have an equivalent tradition in the south. It's a lot more informal there. But I wanted to do something special, and I've always thought it was a really nice tradition ever since I learned about it. Sexist marriage arrangements aside, of course," he added with a chuckle.

"So what's taken you so long?" Toph asked, trying to inject some enthusiasm into her voice for his benefit. "I was expecting this to happen ages ago."

"I don't think she was ready before, but I think she might be open to the idea now. Though...I'm still a little unsure. Heh. I guess I'm kind of nervous."

"If you're asking for my advice, you're barking up the wrong cynic."

"Oh, come on." He poked her ribs with his elbow. "I'm sure you've got a romantic side buried deep in there. Really, really deep."

"Based on what evidence?" For a moment, she was a little afraid of his answer.

"Intuition."

"Well, then why don't you ask your 'intuition' its opinion?" she joked, idly running her thumb over the stone's carving.

"Come on, be serious for a minute. I'm dyin' here."

"Honestly, I'm not sure what the question is."

"Do you think she'll like it?" he asked, an endearing vulnerability in his voice. "Did I choose a good stone? You're the expert, after all."

"Hm. It's sturdy. It won't break easily. But it's also very light, so it'll be comfortable to wear. Overall, I'd say good choice. I think she'll like it." She handed it back, eager to be rid of it. "I think she'll say yes."

He gave her a quick sideways hug. "Thanks. Heh. Now I just gotta figure out the right moment."

"Sorry, I don't think I can help you there." Feeling suddenly restless and awkward, she picked up a nearby stick and started idly scratching at the loose dirt in front of her.

"I thought you had a lot of experience with proposals?" he teased.

Toph barked out a harsh laugh, regretting now that she'd told him how many times her parents had tried in vain to marry her off. "Okay, first of all: NOT the same thing. And second of all: How dare you?"

He laughed, knowing she meant it as a joke. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

They fell into a comfortable silence. It was moments like this that Toph liked best with Sokka. Just the two of them sitting there quietly, shoulder to shoulder, enjoying each other's company. No words getting in the way.

"What are you drawing?" he asked suddenly.

"Hm? Oh, I don't know, just random shapes. I wasn't really paying attention."

"I guess you can 'see' it, since it's dirt, huh?"

"Well, yeah… Just like I can make rock or metal sculptures of things. Same thing, really."

"Hm…"

"What?"

"I bet you could learn to read and write."

"Not on paper. Kinda pointless to be able to read and write only in the dirt."

His hand suddenly closed around hers, making her tense. A thrill shot through her that she stubbornly suppressed, though she couldn't banish the tight feeling in her chest. Sokka guided the stick through the dirt, making several quick strokes. "There. That's your name."

Toph pressed her other palm to the ground to get a better look, then recreated what he'd helped her write.

"Perfect." He smeared his hand across it to erase some. "That's what I call you."

"T?"

"Yep."

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"Sifu Toph! Avatar Aang is here!" A moment later, Appa landed near the entrance, and she soon picked up her friend's footsteps. They were heavier than usual.

"Well, well, well. To what do I owe the honor of a visit from the Avatar? Where's your other half?"

He didn't answer. In fact, the whole yard had gone eerily still and quiet. His heart was beating erratically.

"Aang? What's going on?"

"I- I have bad news, Toph." His words, and the pain in his voice, made her stomach clench into a tight ball.

"Everyone, take a break!" she called to her students. To Aang she said, "My office." Her heart thudded in her chest, dreading what he had to say. She felt sick. "Sokka? Katara?" she asked through gritted teeth as soon as the door clicked shut.

"They're not hurt." His voice was steady but full of grief and Toph let out the breath she had been holding. "It- It's Suki- She-" He stopped, a strange noise coming from his mouth instead of more words.

The horrible sick feeling returned, ten times worse than before. What was he saying? It couldn't be true. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Her mind tried to escape, tried to slide past it to something else. "Sokka- How is-" No. That was just as bad.

"He's not great," Aang said, sniffling.

For a few long moments, they just stood there. Toph was still trying to process, her chest painfully tight. It seemed like the air in the room had become very thin and hard to breathe.

"What happened?" she choked out.

"Um. Sh-she and Sokka were out in the city together. Not fighting anyone. We think it was a hit. Planned, by all appearances. There's-" He stopped and took a shaky breath. "There's going to be an investigation."

"There sure as fuck better be!"

"Do you, um, want to come back with me? I think Sokka..." he trailed off.

She didn't. She didn't want to see him like that. "Yeah." She scrubbed her sleeve across her eyes and headed outside, taking a deep breath. "Listen up you lot! Training's over for today. I have to go to Republic City. I might be gone for a couple days."

"Sifu…" Penga asked, coming over to her. "Did- Did something bad happen?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," Toph said through clenched teeth. She brushed past Penga and climbed up on Appa, trying very hard to ignore the stares she imagined from the gathered students. She turned her face away and a moment later Appa pushed off. Once in the air, the facade broke and the tears came fast and heavy, though by the time they landed at the Kyoshi Warrior house, she had managed to somewhat compose herself. "Where is he?" she asked the nearest person after striding inside with determination.

"Her bedroom," Ming said in a faint voice. "He's locked himself in there. He won't talk to anyone."

Toph sighed and went to find him. She couldn't risk sitting still and being overwhelmed by the reality of the situation. She needed to do something. "Sokka? It's me." There was no answer, she so put her hand on the doorknob and unlocked the door with her mind. As quietly as she could, she pushed it open just enough to slip inside, closing and locking it behind her. A smell hung in the air that was almost overwhelming- Suki's familiar scent mixed with something Toph couldn't identify. She crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching for his shoulder. It made her nervous how quiet and still he was.

"Sokka…"

He ignored her completely, though his breathing became a bit more labored, so she knew he wasn't asleep. Words couldn't help him right now, anyway.

For once, all of the desire and frustration his presence usually created was absent, obliterated by shock. She felt nothing but a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach, trying to claw its way out of her mouth. It was ironic, really, in a dark, dismal way. They were finally alone, behind closed doors- on a bed, no less. But this...this was not what Toph had wanted. Despite her earlier resolve to be strong, she couldn't keep the tears from leaking out. This wasn't what she wanted. Why did she feel so guilty?

She lay down behind him, her hand still gripping his shoulder, and fought to keep the despair and irrational guilt from overwhelming her. Sokka suddenly inhaled a ragged, shaky breath, his shoulders heaving. A soft, pitiful whine slipped out. It made Toph's stomach clench painfully and she took a deep breath. She had to hold it together for him.

Upon waking from his hundred-year sleep, Aang had experienced an incredible amount of grief after learning that his entire people had been slaughtered. Somehow, this was worse. Sharper. Maybe it was just poor memory, too much time having passed. It didn't matter. All he knew was that losing a good friend, looking at her empty body laid out for all to see, was one of the most painful things he had ever experienced.

Somehow, he was keeping it together. He didn't have a choice. Katara was a mess; she needed him to be steady for her. Sokka had Toph for support, though Aang could see that she was lost when it came to comforting her broken friend, her own pain pushing through. Sokka didn't exactly seem receptive to being comforted, at any rate. Zuko was nearby, but seemed to want solitude. He'd barely said a word to them.

It was a short, private ceremony, ending with Sokka taking a moment to say his final goodbyes. Aang caught a glimpse of a blood-stained betrothal necklace being placed in Suki's cold, still hands. That made it so, so much sadder, and Aang lost his battle with the tears that filled his eyes.

The next morning, they - minus Zuko, who had to return home - piled onto Appa, loaded up with supplies. Barely a word was spoken on the journey to the South Pole.

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"Hey..." Toph said tentatively, holding onto one last shred of hope that he would change his mind and come with them. "Just wanted to let you know we're heading out now…"

"Oh...okay," Sokka replied, not moving from his chair.

Toph clenched her teeth, irritation almost rising above the rest of it. She took a steadying breath. "Aren't you going to give me a hug goodbye?" The old Sokka would have never let her leave without a big bear hug, but it seemed as if the old Sokka had died with Suki, leaving behind this empty, drunken shell. Don't fucking cry, Toph. You've done enough of that. He's still here. He's still alive.

He lumbered to his feet and stumbled towards her, almost knocking her down. "Bye, T," he mumbled, clumsily wrapping his arms around her thick parka. A boozy stench assaulted her sensitive nose.

"Bye, Meathead. I'll miss you."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Come home soon, okay?"

He didn't answer. Her eyes burning, Toph pulled away and headed back out into the light snowstorm. The wind and snow beat at her face, the only exposed skin. It was oddly refreshing.

"Ready?" Aang asked in a dull voice.

"Yeah."

"Have a safe trip," Katara said, hugging her tightly.

"Look after him."

"I will."

Toph clambered up into Appa's saddle while Katara and Aang said their goodbyes to each other. A few minutes later, they were in the air, Toph alone with her thoughts. It wasn't somewhere she wanted to be, but there was no escape. As she had done many times, she replayed the memory of Aang arriving at the Academy to deliver the news. It seemed like, between the space of two heartbeats, her entire life had unraveled. One moment she was happily shouting at her students, and the next, the ground was ripped from beneath her feet. Much like this moment, she reflected.

While Suki's death had been incredibly sad, Sokka's spiral had been far, far worse, at least for Toph. The last couple of weeks had been an excruciatingly painful haze of pointless sympathetic words and trying to keep Sokka from drinking himself to death. He'd barely spoken to them at all. Up here, with the wind and snow swirling around her, no comforting earth under her feet, no one but Aang, who was busy flying Appa- she had never felt so utterly alone.

Flying on Appa had always been uncomfortable for her, but the presence of her friends - no, her family - had grounded her in a way that she now saw she had taken for granted. She had hoped, expected even, that Sokka would fall back on their deep bond, but he had shut her out along with everyone else. It was like she barely existed in what was left of his world and she was forced to accept that, though she may not have lost Sokka in the same devastatingly permanent way that he had lost Suki, she had, in fact, lost him. It was the most painful part of this whole nightmare.

The journey back home was silent. She and Aang didn't speak when they made camp at night, and it seemed like even the birds held their peace in silent mourning. When he dropped her off at the Academy, he cleared his throat softly. "Let me know if you need anything, ok?" he said, his voice hoarse.

"Sure."

The courtyard was empty, but Toph was aware of all the people hidden away in rooms, or scattered on the edges. She hurried to her room and shut herself away from prying eyes. Aang had insisted on bringing her here so she could have the night to rest and collect herself before digging into the bitter work that would need to be done in the wake of the tragedy. If it had been up to her, she would have gone straight to Republic City with him and immersed herself in work. He wasn't having it, though.

But now that she was here, she realized she was completely exhausted. Without even undressing from her travel-stained clothes, she fell face-first onto the bed and gave into the blissful obscurity of sleep.

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A/N: I know, I know, I'm a horrible, evil person. Sorry :(

Regarding Toph learning to write in the dirt, yes, I realize that they would be writing Chinese characters, which doesn't really lend itself well to having individual symbols in names (well, it could sort of work if it was Pinyin). So yes, I fudged the 'reality' of it a bit in favor of a nice plot device.