"What a fucking day," Toph said, slumped over on the bar.
"Yeah," Sokka agreed wearily. "And you look exhausted. Maybe it's time to go?"
"Alright. Just let me finish this." She downed the rest of her drink and slammed the glass on the bar a little too hard. It shattered in her hand, slicing her palm. "Fuck. Ow."
"What was that for?"
"Not like I did it on purpose," she muttered.
"You're bleeding."
"No shit, Captain Obvious."
"Hey, can we get a rag?" Sokka called out. "Thanks." He took her hand and pressed the cloth into the cut. "Come on, let's get you home before you break something else."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
Sokka was gently leading her by the elbow, his other hand still holding hers tightly. It made her feel like an invalid. She hated being coddled.
"I got it, thanks," she said, shrugging out of his grasp to hold the rag against her hand.
"Suit yourself."
They left the bar and strolled through the city towards her apartment. Her head was buzzing pleasantly, just enough to make the building tension between the two of them seem so silly. Why was she even fighting it? "Coming into my apartment late at night?" she drawled suggestively when he followed her inside. "What will people think?"
"That cut needs to be cleaned and dressed. Do you have any bandages?"
"Pfft. You think I keep stuff like that lying around?"
"Just go sit on the couch," Sokka replied with a sigh. "I'll see what I can find."
Toph removed her armor and idly toyed with the idea of taking off the rest of her clothes just to see what he'd do. The thought made her chuckle, which soon turned into full-on belly laughing. It wasn't even the alcohol; she was just that exhausted from the long day.
"What's so funny?" he asked when he returned. "Sit up and give me your hand."
"Heh. Nothin'," she said, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. "Ow, fuck that burns! Is that– Is that my whiskey?! Are you wasting my expensive alcohol on a damn papercut?"
"It's a little more than a papercut, T." His hand felt so nice, calloused fingers gently moving across her skin as he wrapped something soft around it. "I guess that'll have to do."
She leaned back into the couch, eyelids drooping, but he still hadn't let go.
"Well," he continued. "I guess I should let you get to bed."
Before he could pull away, though, she tightened her grip, ignoring the sharp pain. "Stay."
"Toph...you're exhausted. You need to sleep. Besides, you've been drinking."
"I asked you to stay, not take my clothes off," she replied petulantly. "And it was two glasses of sake. You think I could get drunk off that?"
For several slightly painful seconds, there was no response. Then his arm slid behind her back - making her skin prickle all over - the other one hooking under her knees.
"I'm picking you up, so don't freak out and earthbend at me, ok?"
"Mmk. Thank's for the warning," she mumbled, too tired to care. The gentle sway of his walk and the comforting smell of his shirt put her to sleep before he even reached the bed.
Sounds and smells of cooking woke Toph, which was strange. No one ever cooked in her apartment. But yes, this was her bed. Still groggy, she rolled over. Sokka's scent lingered on the other pillow and she inhaled deeply. Spirits, but she had missed that. With some reluctance, she got up and stumbled out to the kitchen, rubbing her crusty, useless eyes.
"Mornin', Snoozles."
"I would've brought your breakfast to you if you'd waited one more minute to get up."
"Well, I'm up now," she said, plopping down on the couch and checking her watch. "What? It's almost eight?"
"I told you, I was just about to wake you," Sokka said, joining her on the couch and handing her a plate.
"I'm going to be late."
"You were there until eleven, T. Nobody's going to care if you're half an hour late. Now stop being grumpy and eat your breakfast."
"I'm not grumpy." She gave him a little half-smile and took a bite of scrambled eggs.
"Oh, now you're going to be all charming and cute. I see," he teased. "I'll try to keep up. How's your hand, by the way?"
"It's fine."
"Let me see it."
"You worry too much." But she held it out to him anyway, letting him unwrap the makeshift bandage. She wasn't about to admit that it actually hurt quite a lot.
"Yeah, you're going to want to have a healer see to that."
"I will. We've always got someone on duty at the station."
"Katara could do a better job," he said, wrapping it back up.
"It's just a cut." He still hadn't let go of her hand, and she didn't want him to. They just sat like that for a little while, the tension making her stomach hurt.
"It's been over a month," he said suddenly.
"I know." Ok. I guess this conversation is happening now. Spirits.
"You asked me to stay last night."
"I remember."
"Why?"
"Why…" She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to formulate an answer. "Because… Because I didn't want to be alone."
"And...are you going to continue to feel that way?"
"I dunno..." she shrugged.
"Toph. Stop avoiding my questions. What do you want?"
She closed her eyes and whispered, "You."
Sokka didn't answer right away but she thought she heard him sigh softly.
"I don't want things to go back to the way they were before," he said. "I want it to be real. Serious. Are you still afraid of committing to that?"
His patronizing tone got her hackles up. "I'm twenty-three, Sokka. I don't want the whole rest of my life planned out for me, the rules of society orchestrating every little step. I just want to live...one day at a time."
"Kinda strange coming from someone whose job is one enormous, long-standing commitment. Didn't you promise them thirty years or something?"
"Thirty years until I can retire with a full pension," she corrected. "I can leave whenever I want with no money."
"Don't try to tell me you do this job for the money, because I know that's not true."
Toph just huffed, annoyed, but didn't have a retort.
"We've gotten a little off-topic," Sokka continued. He took a deep breath... "Is it– Is it your parents? Your upbringing? Does it make you feel like you're being controlled?"
"No…"
"It is me, then? Do you really think I see you as property? I know my jealousy got a little out of control, but I'm over that. And it was never about thinking of you as a prize to be won. It was about me and my own insecurities, nothing else."
"I know. I don't–" She sighed and shook her head, struggling to articulate how she felt. It wasn't easy for her to say, to give life to these thoughts. "I know you want from me. What you'll expect down the road." She turned away, head bowed toward her plate of forgotten food, afraid that her words would bring whatever this was to a screeching halt. "I'm not so sure I'm ever going to be the person to meet those expectations."
"Are you saying...you're not sure if you ever want to get married and have children?"
If he'd asked that the last time they were together, her answer would have been a resounding 'I definitely never want that'. But...she now knew what it was like to have him and lose him, to watch him move on with someone else. It had been devastating. If she was ever going to give that much of herself to anyone, it would be him. Pretty big 'if', though.
But…maybe…with time…
It was enough to make her hesitate. "I...don't know."
"Huh."
"What?"
"I'm just...surprised."
"Seriously?" How can that surprise him? He knows me…
"You're actually conflicted. Which means there's a part of you, however small, that has really considered it. That's...not what I was expecting."
Ok...I guess he does know me. She didn't know what to say. He was still holding her hand, his thumb idly running up and down the side of it. Suddenly he lifted it and kissed her fingers lightly.
"I'm in no hurry, T. Maybe when I'm thirty, I'll want to start thinking about that kind of stuff. But for now, I just want to be with you. For real, this time. And I promise I won't pressure you for more, if you promise that you'll stay open-minded about the future. We can talk about it again in a few years and see where we both are. What do you say to that?"
Iroh's words rattled around her head. An empty heart aches just as much as a broken one. Maybe more. "I think...I can agree to those terms."
"How romantic," Sokka laughed.
"Don't tempt fate, Meathead," she warned, though in a lighthearted way. "You've accomplished something significant here. Don't try to make me be sentimental."
"And she believes in fate? I think I may swoon."
"It's just an expression, ya weirdo–"
But she barely got the words out before his hands and mouth were all over her. Just like old times. And yet...better than before.
"You're not going back to the South Pole early are you?" Katara asked, interrupting Sokka's peaceful reverie while he packed up his meager possessions.
"Hm? Oh…" He rubbed the back of his neck, fighting a smile.
"What?"
"Well, actually, I'm kinda moving over to Toph's place."
His sister's eyebrows shot up further than he'd ever seen them go. "Really..."
"Really."
"Why?" She had an odd - and very curious - look on her face.
"Why? Why do you mean why? Isn't it obvious?"
"Humor me."
"We finally sat down and talked about things. We're back together. Officially, this time."
He continued to be baffled by her reaction to this news. Instead of getting excited, she just eyed him skeptically. Suspiciously, even.
"And that's it?" she asked. "There's nothing else?"
"What are you talking about? What else would there be?"
"Why are you moving in with her? Seems a little sudden."
"Did you get hit on the head or something?" Sokka asked, completely flummoxed. "I lived with her in all but name - for more than two years - last time we were together. How is it sudden? Why would we want to be apart? She's so busy during the day that if I sleep here, we'll never even see each other. Why aren't you happy about this? I thought you'd be thrilled."
Katara continued to eye him strangely for another second or so, then she suddenly grinned. "I am. Really. Took you two long enough, though. It was incredibly hard to watch you make each other miserable over and over again."
"Yeah, well, it was even harder living it."
"Well, the important thing is you got there eventually." She got a dreamy look on her face. "Oh, Spirits, I can't wait to plan your wedding!"
"Whoa! Slow down. Actually, you know what? Sit." He pointed to the bed. "We've got some ground rules to establish."
"What do you–"
"Sit!"
"Ok, ok! I'm sitting. Sheesh."
"First of all, Toph and I are together. That's it. And it was challenging enough just by itself, so do not, under any circumstances, say the 'M' word or the 'B' word to her or around her, in reference to our relationship."
Katara rolled her eyes, confirmation that she caught his meaning.
"Ok?" he prompted.
"Alright, fine."
"Secondly – and I cannot stress this enough – mind your own business. Don't pester her with questions, or try to get her to talk about her feelings or the future. If she wants to open up about this, she will. If she doesn't, leave her alone."
Katara put her hands on her hips, somehow managing to the gesture flawlessly even from a seated position. "Didn't I mind my own business when you started dating Kina? And when you and Kina broke up? And when you spent a whole year away, missing the ten-year anniversary AND Toph's birthday? Did I pry and ask questions? Huh?"
"Maybe not invasive questions, but I seem to remember quite a lot of unsolicited advice."
"Was I supposed to just ignore you and do nothing?" she retorted, rolling her eyes.
"Look, I don't even care if you pester me. Just leave her alone, ok? Let her come to you."
"Still a wild animal, huh? Still afraid she's going to spook?"
"Wow, you are already doing it."
"You just said I could pester you."
Sokka took a deep breath, trying to dispel his annoyance. "I've said what I had to say. I'm going to finish packing. If I haven't made my point by now, I never will."
"Hey," she said, standing up with a small smile. "I'm really happy for you, big brother."
"Thanks."
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They had a truly blissful two weeks in which Toph didn't even care that her officers were teasing her mercilessly about the new development, and then Sokka had to leave for the South Pole. Spring came all in a rush. The last of the snow melted and the air warmed quickly, but Toph was struggling. Her only consolation was the rather spicy letters they exchanged, but it wasn't nearly enough. In her loneliness, she spent quite a lot of time on Air Temple Island after work.
"Focus, Riju. Do it again!"
"I'm trying! It's too hard!"
"You've done this drill plenty of times. What's up?"
"I dunno," he muttered. "I'm just tired. Can we take a break?"
"Fine. You have ten minutes." There was an annoyed scoff, then he stalked away toward the house. Spirits give me strength, Toph grumbled silently, face pointed at the sky. I left work early for this?
He wasn't even twelve yet and already acting like a moody teenager. The rest of the afternoon continued that way, with him complaining constantly and failing at intermediate drills, and by the end of it, both were in a terrible mood.
"Toph," Katara said with exasperation after being snapped at. "Why don't you go take a walk and cool down before dinner."
"Don't tell me what to do," she grumbled. But Bumi ran up to her and started talking excitedly about going down to the beach. "Fine. Come on then, Gremlin."
"Yay! Beach!" he cried, running outside ahead of her.
"Don't let him get too far ahead of you!" Katara called. "He's fast!"
"Yeah, yeah," Toph muttered, waving her hand dismissively. Fuck, he is fast, she thought as he sprinted toward the hill. With a quick gesture, she shackled him to the ground.
"Aunt Toph! Lemme go!"
"Don't run off," she warned, catching up. "Ok?"
"Ok."
But he giggled and she knew he was going to take off the second he had the chance, so she snatched up his hand before releasing his legs. As expected, he immediately tried to drag her along.
"Come! Faster!"
"Nope. We're walking. I don't run unless I'm chasing criminals."
"What that?"
"Bad guys. Thieves. People who take stuff that's not theirs."
"Why?"
"I dunno. I guess cause they want to. They're greedy."
"Geedy?"
"Greedy. They want more than they need."
"Why?"
"Fuck's sake," Toph muttered under her breath.
"Fucksake?"
She chuckled and shook her head, desperately hoping he'd repeat that around Katara. A few minutes later, they made it down to the beach and she let go of him. "Do not go in the water."
He just laughed and took off straight for the waves. Toph responded by bending the sand up to encase his body up to the neck, hardening it so he couldn't move. He let out a shriek, though she was pretty sure he was enjoying it.
"What did I just tell you?" she demanded, hands on her hips. "You little sand monster."
"Raaaawr!" he screamed. "I sand monster!"
Lifting her arms, Toph used the sand to move him around like a puppet.
"Eeeee! Lemme go! Lemme go!"
"Muahaha! Dance for me, sand gremlin."
"Nooo. Lemme gooo!"
"Boo. You're no fun," she said, releasing him.
Immediately, he went for the water again, though partway there he paused as if waiting to see what she was going to do. Opting for a simpler recourse, Toph just buried him up to his waist.
"No! Do sand monster!"
"What? You were just screaming at me to let you go!"
"Sand monster!"
"Alright...fine." They played that game for another fifteen minutes, Bumi pretending to hate it then running off toward the water. It got really old after the first two times. Fuck, this is so boring. How does Katara do this 24/7? Why would anyone want to? That train of thought instantly reminded her of what Sokka had said. Keeping an open mind about the future. With an effort, she pushed those thoughts away for another time. "Hey, Gremlin! C'mere."
"What?"
"Time to go."
"No! More sand monster!"
"Aren't you hungry? Don't you want to have dinner?"
"No!"
"What about dessert! How about some pie?"
"Yeah! Pie!" He grabbed her hand and started pulling her toward the trail. Halfway up the hill, he stopped and said he was tired. "Pick me up!"
"We're almost there. You can walk."
"Pick me up!" he whined, falling onto the ground dramatically.
"Oh, for fuck's sake. Alright, alright, geez." She hoisted him onto her shoulders and he squealed with delight, his momentary unhappiness forgotten. Aang was in the front yard when they made it back up to the house. "Take your little gremlin, Twinkle Toes. Aunt Toph is officially off duty."
‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›
"T?" Sokka murmured, his head on her pillow, hot breath in her ear.
"Hm?"
"I love you."
"Mm. Good to know." He made a vaguely affronted noise and Toph laughed. "I love you too, Meathead. You already know that."
He abruptly scooped her up and pulled her on top of him. She crossed her arms over his chest and rested her chin on them, trying to make her eyes point at where she thought his were.
"Hm. Almost," he said. "A little too far away."
"How 'bout now?"
"Ok, that's too close," he laughed. "You're cross-eyed now."
Frustrated, she closed her eyes and hung her head, letting the hair fall over her face.
"Hey," Sokka said, pushing the hair away. "Try again. Open your eyes."
Slowly she lifted her lids, immediately feeling his chest rise and fall in a soft sigh.
"Perfect."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. Spirits, I love when you look at me. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but it feels like it does. It feels like you can see me and look into my soul and know everything I'm thinking and feeling."
Careful not to disturb the eye contact, Toph shifted one arm forward to trace her fingers across his face. Strong jaw, angular chin, high cheekbones. A bump in the bridge of his nose where it had been broken. Wide mouth, thin lips. She knew every inch of him by touch and vibration. But she would never know what his eyes looked like.
"Is that what you see when you look at my eyes?" she asked. "Everything I'm thinking and feeling?"
"Not everything, but some things. Right now I can tell that you're a little bit sad."
Toph didn't have a response. There were few feelings she hated more than feeling sorry for herself. But…the ability to read faces was something she had spent many nights wondering about.
"If you had the option to give up bending for sight, would you?" he asked suddenly, as if her thoughts were written all over her face.
The question caught her off guard. "Would you give up sight for bending?"
"I asked first."
She rolled her eyes, but gave it a few seconds of thought. "Could I try it for a day?"
"Nope. All or nothing."
"Then...I guess...no."
"Really?"
"I know how to live this way. I wouldn't want to have to relearn everything. Bending is part of who I am. Being blind is also part of who I am."
"I think it's made you stronger. I think if you had been born with sight, you never would have become the greatest earthbender in the world."
"You know," she said with a wide smile, twining her free hand in his hair, "I don't hear that nearly enough."
"Sorry, Chief. I promise I'll try to do better. How many times a day do you require? Once with every meal?" But his query was interrupted by the rude sound of her alarm.
"Speaking of meals," she said, leaning over to turn it off. "Aren't you supposed to cook me breakfast since you live here now, you freeloader?"
"Right, because you pay rent."
"Yeah, by working at my job every day," she scoffed.
"I have a job too, you know."
Toph tried to get out of bed but he wrapped her up and kissed her.
"Ok," he said a minute or so later. "I guess you can get up now."
"Who needs breakfast?" she breathed. "I'd rather stay here."
She was rather late to work that day, arriving to discover an intriguing development.
"Oh, there you are," Luon said, meeting her in the hallway. "Busy morning?" he asked with a mischievous catch in his voice.
"Busier than yours, I'd bet," Toph shot back.
"Heh. Well, anyway. Detective Li just brought someone in for questioning that wants to talk to you. He won't talk to anyone else."
"What was he booked for?"
"Tried to rip off a jewelry store."
"Oook?" After checking in with Rinna, Toph went to the interrogation room and sat down. "You wanted to see me?" she said, taking stock of him. He was a small man, thin and lean. Probably not much taller than her. His heartbeat was erratic, breathing labored.
"I have information," he said in the accents of a Fire Nation native. "I will trade it for the theft charges being dropped."
"Hm." Toph leaned back in the chair, drumming her fingers on the table. "What sort of information?"
"I did a few jobs for…" His voice dropped suddenly, as if he were afraid of being overheard. "For him. The Nameless One."
The Nameless One. The man who controlled the seedy underbelly of Republic City. That was the only thing anyone ever called him.
"Unless you have his actual name, or where I can find him," she said, "you have nothing I want."
"I know the name of his closest confidante."
That gave her pause. If they could find some way to get close to his Second, they might be able to learn something. "Hm. Alright. You give me his name, and if you're not lying to me, we'll drop the charges."
"I want it in writing."
"Fine," Toph agreed. "I'll be right back." Ten minutes later, she returned with the agreement. "Here. I've signed it. You'll notice it says that this immunity will not apply to any future crimes, nor evidence of past ones."
There was a brief silence where he was presumably reading. "Ok. His confidante is not a man, but a woman. Her name is Zhu."
Two weeks later, one of Toph's undercover officers was found dead in his apartment, killed in the same mysterious way as Harin, with no evidence of injury or trauma. Three days after that, the man who had given Zhu's name was also found dead. Same circumstances, but with another message in blood:
REPUBLIC CITY BELONGS TO ME
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Dozing on the couch, Toph barely heard Sokka come in. But she smelled what he had brought, and sat up quickly. "Is that…?"
"It sure is. I hope you're hungry."
"I could eat."
He sat next to her and handed over a takeout box and chopsticks.
"Oh," she said, mouth already full, "There's some mail."
There was a soft sound of paper ripping. "Hm. Apparently, the owner of this building is having electric lights installed in all the units. Figured that might be happening soon."
"Ugh," Toph groaned. "As if I don't have enough to deal with lately, with the Harin case, now I gotta deal with someone coming into my apartment for something I don't even need?"
"I live here, too, you know. I wouldn't mind having electric lights."
"What's the point? We're barely here."
"And it just so happens that it's dark for most of the time we spend here. Anyway, this says it'll only take a few days, and they'll only be here when we're at work, anyway. Just make sure you don't leave anything valuable lying around."
"Yeah, whatever," she muttered around her food. "Mm. Fuck, I'll never get tired of this shit."
"So...would you say you are in a better or worse mood than before I came?"
"Huh?"
"I was hoping the food would improve your mood, but then I opened this letter so that might have offset it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well...I have some...news."
Toph stopped with another bite halfway to her mouth and frowned at him. "I don't like the sound of that."
"Well, it's not bad news, exactly…"
"Just fucking tell me!"
"The Council has asked me to extend my duties. They want me to serve as an ambassador for both Water Tribes, the Fire Nation, and the Earth Kingdom."
"Wow," she replied, her appetite suddenly gone. "That's… That's pretty big. What did you say?"
"I haven't given an answer yet. They only just asked me today."
"You'll be gone a lot more...won't you?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "But...for shorter stretches. So kinda worse, kinda better."
"It doesn't sound better," she grumbled.
"Do you think I should do it?"
"Do you have a choice?"
"Heh. Good question. I don't know, I don't think they can force me to do it, but…"
"But they have their ways of being persuasive," Toph finished. "Yeah. I'm aware. Fucking Ludo."
‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›‹¤›
One Year Later
BAM BAM BAM
"Chief! Chief, wake up!"
BAM BAM BAM
"Toph, someone's at the door," Sokka said, shaking her shoulder.
"Urrgh…" she groaned, still half-asleep. "Wha…?" By the time she had fully woken up, Sokka was gone. She could make out the conversation at the door.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"You guys need to get to Air Temple Island. The Avatar and his family are alright, but something happened. There was an assassination attempt."
Toph flew from the bed, wrapping herself in a blanket as she went. "WHAT?!"
It was one of her officers, a rookie named Keito. He just stood there in silence for a second after she came around the corner. "Uh... Er, s-sorry to disturb you, Chief. It's pretty serious."
"Yeah, I got that," she replied, deciding to ignore his obvious agitation. "What the fuck happened?"
"One of the acolytes was killed."
"Fuck."
"I don't know the details, though. Sorry."
"Ok," she said briskly. "We'll head over as soon as we can." With that, she pushed the door shut and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed. "What the fuck?" she muttered. "An assassination attempt?"
"I know." Sokka came over and took her wrists while she was busy trying to find clothes. "Hey. T. Just take a breath, alright?"
"I'm fine."
"Your hands are shaking. And you're very pale."
"I'm always pale, according to you and everyone else."
"More than usual."
She knew he was right, though she wasn't about to admit it. She felt like crap, like she hadn't slept in days. Taking a deep breath, she tried to still her hands. "Relax. I'm just tired. Don't particularly like being woken up in the middle of the night with bad news. Now c'mon. Get dressed."
The atmosphere of Air Temple Island was eerily quiet. The only people Toph could detect moving around were her officers. Yachi was there, being the lieutenant of the current night shift unit, pacing fitfully near the open front door.
"Hey, Chief," she said. "The Avatar's inside. He wants to talk to you."
Toph just nodded; she knew where Aang was. She knew where everyone was. She knew where the body of the dead acolyte was, and where the captured assassin was being detained.
Aang was pacing in the kitchen, Riju sitting on the floor against the wall, hugging his knees.
"Hey, kid," Toph said softly, crouching down. "You ok?"
"Yeah," he replied, voice dull.
Not knowing what else to say to him, she just gave his shoulder a firm squeeze and went over to Aang and Sokka. "What happened?"
"Let's talk outside. Katara just got Bumi back to sleep. I don't want to wake him."
Toph nodded and followed him out, Sokka staying behind. "What the fuck happened, Aang?"
"Bumi woke us up. Said he heard someone scream. We told him it was just a nightmare and to sleep with us. I got up to use the bathroom and felt someone walking around in the kitchen, with my seismic sense. I thought it was Riju so I went to see what he was doing, because he was being weird, like he was trying to hide. Got a knife in my shoulder for it–"
"What?!"
"I'm fine. Katara's already taken care of it. But…I was really lucky."
"Fuck," Toph muttered, feeling a little lightheaded. "Who… The acolyte…?"
"Rula. She was having one of her late walks. I guess she saw him and…"
"She probably saved your life by waking Bumi up. Otherwise, he might have gotten you in your sleep. I'm sure that was the plan."
"Yeah," Aang said, voice unsteady. "I know."
"How could this happen?!" she exploded, suddenly furious. "How could someone dare to come here and go in your house–"
"Toph. Please, keep your voice down. I know, I'm upset too."
"But this is ridiculous! This place is far too unguarded. I mean, you don't even have a fence around your house! Anyone can just come up here and...and…" She didn't have the right words to keep going. How could she have let something like this happen? He was the Avatar. He should have a security contingent at night. Why hadn't she ever thought of that? "You need guards, Aang. You need a wall around your house, and people patrolling at night. This was too close."
"I know. And you're right. We'll figure something out."
"I don't have enough officers for this," Toph said, trying to think. "I can set something up temporarily, but we need to come up with a different, more permanent solution."
"I had an idea, actually. I thought...maybe the Order of the White Lotus would be willing to help out."
Three hours later, after going over every inch of the island, fruitlessly questioning the silent assassin, and setting up a makeshift guard schedule, Toph stumbled toward the ferry with Sokka following along closely.
"Why don't you go home and get a couple hours of sleep?" he suggested.
"Don't have time for that. Gotta get to Headquarters to deal with all this crap."
He sighed but didn't say anything. The ride over was silent, as well, though mostly because the ferry was not being kind to Toph this morning and she had to focus on not gagging.
"Ugh," she groaned as they made it back onto solid ground. "Goddamn fucking boat."
"Toph, really. You look terrible. I can go let Rinna know you'll be in later. C'mon, please?"
Her stomach was starting to hurt on top of the queasiness and exhaustion. "...Fine. Just a couple of hours."
It seemed to take forever to get home. The streets were an absolute mess with the construction of electric streetcars, a nuisance that Toph had become accustomed to in the last couple of weeks. Once home, she shoved some rags into her underwear and crawled into bed, succumbing to the horrible cramps. Better late than never, she mused before drifting off into a fitful sleep.
The sound of her front door shutting woke her up. A powerful nausea sent her stumbling into the kitchen to vomit into the laundry basin, nearly running right into Sokka on the way there.
"Toph?" he said, concern in his voice.
She shuffled past him, back to bed, arms wrapped around her stomach. "Ugh. Fuck. I'm glad I didn't go into work. How long has it been?"
"Like...fifteen minutes."
"Oh… Felt like longer," she muttered, curling up into a ball.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. You know, just that time of the month."
"Oh." He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her and put his hand on her forehead. "I think you have a fever. Are you sure you're not coming down with something?"
"Pretty sure."
"This seems a little worse than usual."
"Little later than usual, too," she muttered under her breath.
"Does that make a difference? Sorry, T, I don't know much about this stuff. But I gotta say this doesn't seem normal."
"Yeah," she said weakly. "It's not."
"Maybe I should go get Katara."
"No." Spirits, that's the last thing I need right now. "She got her own problems to worry about."
"But–"
"I said no."
"Alright," he sighed. "But I'm going back to the station to let Rinna know you're not coming in at all today."
"...Fine."
"I'll be back soon." His lips pressed against her sweaty temple, then he was gone, leaving her alone in her misery. Sleep did not come this time. There was just pain and queasiness and dread. But relief, too. How could a person feel relief about something they never got the chance to worry about in the first place?
Sokka returned a little while later, bringing with him the strong smell of egg drop soup. "I don't know if you feel like eating, but maybe it will make you feel a little better. I don't know what else to do to help you."
"Thanks," Toph muttered. "Maybe I'll try some in a little while."
He sat there on the edge of the bed for a minute, silent. "T…"
"Hm?"
"When you said it was later than usual, did you mean something by that?"
Toph squeezed her eyes shut, though they were dry as they'd ever been. She couldn't bring herself to answer the question. The nausea suddenly peaked and she clenched her jaw down tightly. "I need to puke again."
"Hold on," he said quickly, getting up. There was a metallic clang from the kitchen, and a few moments later he set a pot in front of her face. Just in time. "Are you sure you don't want me to get someone that knows more about this stuff than me? Doesn't have to be Katara."
"I'm fine," she said, pulling the blankets to her chin. "Just gotta...ride it out."
"But I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to do anything."
Silently, he crawled into bed behind her scrunched-up form. There was a rustling noise, and the sound of fabric hitting the floor, then the warmth of his bare chest spread across her back.
Toph tried to sleep. The exhaustion was overwhelming, but the pain was strong and her mind was full. The assassination attempt on Aang had tipped her toward a dangerous slope, and now all of her struggles with work - not to mention her personal life - seemed to be pushing her down a steep hill. Feet digging into the earth, trying to carry the weight of it all.
The last year had been a whirlwind of alternating happiness and pain. With Sokka's new responsibilities, he was here for a couple of weeks, gone for a few weeks, or a month, or a few days, then back for a week. It was an endless, unpredictable cycle in which they squeezed every last bit of joy they could out of their time together. Aang had offered the use of his airship, which helped a lot. Sokka could be back in Republic City with a few days' notice when needed.
All the infrastructure changes happening in the city alongside the installation of the streetcars had led to the Council asking him to stay a little longer on this particular visit. He'd been here nearly a month. There had been some small worry for Toph that she would begin to feel stifled if he stayed too long, that the only reason their relationship was working so well was because he was gone so much.
But her fears were left unfounded, so far. His presence was a soothing balm, especially right now. The steady beating of his heart against her back, its comforting rhythm, was finally making her a little drowsy. Focusing on it and nothing else, she eventually drifted off.
The first thing Toph was aware of when she woke was that she desperately needed to change her rags. The second thing was that she had been woken by Sokka snoring; apparently he'd fallen asleep, too.
Feeling marginally better, though still in some pain, she slid out of bed to take care of her hygiene issues. Sokka didn't wake until she got back in bed and opened up the container of now-cold soup.
"Ugh," he groaned. "What time is it?"
"Almost two."
"You feeling any better?"
"Meh."
"Well, you're eating. I guess that's a good sign."
"I don't really feel like eating. Just forcing myself to."
There was a brief silence while he sat up, yawning and lightly smacking his face. "Hey...um," he began slowly. "Can I– Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"I sorta got the impression you've been through this before."
Savoring the time it took to bring the spoon to her mouth and swallow, Toph attempted to come up with a response. She was honestly a little surprised at his perceptiveness. "What, been through having a period? You mean that thing that's happened every month or so for the last twelve years of my life?"
"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot," he replied, though his tone was mild. "I know this is more than that."
"Do you, now? Because even I don't know that. Not for sure."
"Assuming it is something more, my original question still stands. It's not the first time, is it?" There was a distinct heaviness in his voice, like he knew the answer but didn't really want to hear it.
But…it was well past time for this conversation. "No."
Silence.
"It was after Gaoling, wasn't it?"
What little appetite Toph had had was gone now, and she set the soup back on the bedside table. "How long–" She had to stop and swallow the lump in her throat. "How long have you known?"
"I've suspected it since we got back from Zuko and Mai's wedding."
Her mouth fell open in shock. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I almost did, lots of times. Why didn't you?" There was more than a hint of hurt in his voice.
"What good would that have done? I know you. It would have done nothing but cause you more pain."
"Yes, obviously. But I still had a right to know. Six years, and you never felt the need to tell me?"
Whether it was his accusatory tone hitting a nerve due to some lingering guilt, or something more…biological, Toph's eyes filled with tears against her will. She clamped her mouth shut and turned her head away to blink them away.
Sokka's warm hand appeared on her thigh, gently squeezing it. "You shouldn't have had to go through that alone."
"It wasn't that big a deal," she lied, pushing past the obnoxious burst of emotion.
"How- How can you say that? It was-"
But she didn't want to hear it. "It was pain and blood, Sokka. That's it. Nothing to cry over."
"If you really felt that way, you wouldn't have kept it from me to avoid hurting me. Besides, I seem to remember you breaking down and crying yourself to sleep."
"That had nothing to do with any of this," she insisted. "I was drunk and stressed out about you and had a moment of weakness. It passed."
"You were sad, T."
"I was relieved." She scowled at him. "I was fucking eighteen, Sokka! About to take on a huge responsibility here. I was ninety-nine percent relieved."
"And one whopping percent sad."
"Fine!" she exploded. "I was a tiny bit depressed. It wasn't exactly a fun experience, ok?"
"Look," he said with a sigh. "I know it's not easy for you to open up about this stuff, but you don't need to carry it all alone. All that's going to do is make your life harder."
"Well," she said with a deep sigh, the anger deflating. "You know now. It's in the past. No sense in dwelling on it. And don't you dare tell your nosy sister!"
"I won't. I promise."
The conversation had proven to be cathartic enough that Toph found she had a little bit of an appetite, and she picked her soup back up. "I gotta say, Meathead, I'm a little surprised you came to the conclusion you did."
"Oh, er, actually..." He sounded a little abashed.
"What?"
"Well...when I went back to tell Rinna you were taking the day off, I told her I was worried and she asked what was wrong. When I told her, she...um– She provided a theory."
Toph let out a hollow laugh, shaking her head. "I should've known. Fuck. That woman knows more about my life than anyone – including me, sometimes."
"She won't say anything."
"I know. I'm not worried about that."
"What are you worried about, then? I can see it on your face."
She ate a couple of slow spoonfuls of soup before answering. "It's not worry, exactly. I'm just–" She sighed, reluctant to admit it. "It was a miserable experience, last time. It...left a mark."
"Really? Where?"
"Not literally, Meathead."
"Oh. Right." He put his hand on the back of her neck and kissed her cheek. "I think I know what you mean."