Disclaimer: You should know the drill by now...

Note: My apologies to my readers...this chapter would have been up early this morning, but FFN wouldn't let me in for some reason and i needed to get some sleep...yay third shift job:) But, better late than never, right?

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Interlude

Calm. Dark. Quiet. He's floating alone in a black nothingness, disconnected. He vaguely remembers something hitting him, falling, pain, then this, the black nothingness. He feels safe here, safer than he's felt for a very long time. But somehow, that isn't right either. He felt safe before and there was a lot more than the black nothingness.

He tries to remember, tries to see what there was before this, but there's nothing. He lifts his hand, reaching out to see if there's something hiding in the black nothingness and he's surprised when a pinprick of light forms in the distance. Curious, he moves towards it, floating along by the force of his will alone. The light gets brighter, becomes a star, becomes the sun. He shields his eyes with his hand, blinded by the glare of the sun he's created. When he drops his hand again, he's in another place.

He's standing in a dimly lit room, the only light coming from a fire crackling cheerfully in the fireplace. As he walks further in, old-fashioned oil lamps and gaslights spring to life, cleverly placed to illuminate specific things scattered about the room. At first, nothing is in clear focus, just vague shapes and outlines that he struggles to make sense of. As he approaches a figure in a far corner, the shape asserts itself, filling in the blank areas until he can see it for what it is. Situated upon a pedestal made from a section of tree trunk is a wolverine, stuffed and mounted, its mouth open in a feral snarl, its claws shining silver in the light. He furrows his brow in confusion, turning away from it only to be confronted by a pack of similarly stuffed wolves, their heads turned as though looking to him. He backs away from the pack, turning as though to leave, but he stops short when his eyes fall upon the stuffed head of a deer, a magnificent fifteen point buck, a spear protruding from its neck.

With an almost physical sensation, something snaps into place in his mind as he realizes these animals all remind him of something. He approaches the wolverine again, warily stretching his hand out to touch one of the gleaming claws. When his fingers make contact, he sees himself as a boy, running and playing with another boy and a girl about his own age. Once that springs free, the rest of that time falls into place and he realizes where he is.

'Holy shit, this is my memory.' He thinks to himself, gazing in wonder at the animals around him. 'This is my earliest memory, of my home and Rose and Dog. And Dog's father, Thomas Logan. He was in love with my mother. Was she in love with him too? Is he really my father?' These early memories come one after another but instead of driving him away, they draw him closer to himself, closer to human. He remembers it all.

As this trophy room takes more form, subtle changes begin. The fireplace remains the same, but the lights change from gaslights to electric, the décor from Victorian to a more modern look. He catches things out of the corner of his eye, but when he tries to look at them directly they fade from view. Curious, he approaches the fireplace and notices a pair of swords on a stand sitting on the mantle. He reaches out to touch them and he realizes they are a katana and wakazashi, the traditional blades of the samurai. 'I was a samurai, long ago. My sensei was Master Ogun and he taught me honor and discipline. He's the first one who taught me how to control the animal.'

On and on, one memory at a time, his life comes back to him. A rifle from World War I here, a different one from the Second World War over there, guns from Korea and Vietnam. 'So many weapons. How many people have I actually killed? Is there any way to know? Have I always been just a killer?' He looks down at his hands, then back to the wolverine snarling silently in the corner. 'Now I am the weapon. I can't escape what I am anymore.'

He hears the sound of a door closing in the distance, followed by voices too far away to make out the words. A few moments later, he hears the door open and close again. He cautiously approaches the door to the study, presses his ear against it to hear whatever there might be to hear. He hears the sounds of someone moving about, a kettle whistling to say that it's done, a woman's voice. 'I know that voice. She's someone important to me.' He backs away from the door slowly, turning again to face this room and the memories it holds. The flickering light of the fire reflects off something on a table in the corner, something that hadn't been there before. As he approaches, the items begin to manifest themselves fully, finally taking shape as a wine bottle, a little stone cat and a necklace. He picks up the necklace and he sees that it's a metal tag on a simple ball chain. The tag is imprinted with a series of numbers and a single word, "Hellcat". He grips it so tight that blood begins to run between his fingers. 'Hellcat, that's who the voice belongs to. But that's not her real name, like Wolverine isn't mine. She saved me, saved us both. And she loves me.'

He looks back down at the table, but as other things begin to come into being, the door flies open behind him and everything in the room begins to unravel. He cries out in protest even as he's drawn inextricably through the portal, watching helplessly as his memory begins to fade again. But the door does not close as he expected it to. Instead, it swings halfway, remaining open just enough for the inviting light of the fire to shine in the black nothingness. He smiles, knowing this means he can go back there any time he wants and it will all be waiting for him. He peers over his shoulder to see where he's going, but there's nothing there. He feels the pain of healing flesh in his palm and wonders what happened to him. He opens his clenched fist and the tag, Hellcat's tag, is still within his grasp. 'Hellcat. I'm comin' back to you darlin'.'

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Chapter 5.

It only took about two hours to get to the cabin and get Logan safely inside. I made the offer to Sam, Chasca and Totem to use the shower in there, but they politely refused, saying they wanted to get ahead of the storm before it got any worse. Still, I took my time saying goodbye to everyone. We'd had a rough couple of weeks, but they'd handled the hardship admirably and I would miss them. They'd each come to represent something for me and I would have never been able to find Logan without them. Sam had, appropriately, been my strength, Chasca my spirit and Totem my balance. I would find a way to repay them for this someday.

I stood outside and watched the jet disappear into the night. When I could no longer hear it, I stepped back inside the cabin. I had a lot of work to do before Logan woke up, the first order being getting him bathed. I'd had Sam put him in the larger bedroom, the one we'd slept in all those years ago after Alkali Lake. It was my hope that it would provide a bit of familiarity for him when he woke, something he'd recognize and hopefully keep him calm. I carefully removed what remained of his clothing and tossed it in a trash bag. I filled a kettle with hot water from the bathroom and brought it into the bedroom along with a basin, soap and fresh clothes. It took me well over ninety minutes and three more kettles to get him clean from head to toe and another half an hour to get the clothes on him, but I managed. I was exhausted to the point of dropping by then, but it was still cold in the cabin, so I took the time to start a fire. I sat there for a long time, staring into the flames and crying in relief. I had Logan back physically and that made me happier than I'll ever be able to say. The hard part would be getting back his mind. My eyelids began to droop after a while and I was sorely tempted to sleep right there, curled up in front of the fire. But I'd waited too long to sleep next to my lover and I wasn't about to wait one more minute. I dragged myself off the floor and into the bedroom, snuggling into him. I was asleep almost immediately.

I was awakened four hours later when he sat straight up in the bed with a shout, popping his claws. I tumbled off the other side of the bed and came up in a defensive crouch. His eyes were still wild, his mouth still curled into that feral snarl, so I didn't make any move to approach. He whipped his head from side to side before rolling off the bed, putting it between us. His eyes narrowed when he saw me and he growled low in his throat. I took a deep breath and relaxed my pose until I was simply standing there. It was now or never.

"Logan, do you know who you are?" I asked. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head to one side. I smiled a little at the gesture. "You're ok now, we found you." He relaxed a little bit, but his claws were still out so I held my ground. "Now you're with me, just the two of us. I'm going to help you come back to me." His claws retracted slowly and he relaxed further. "Good, that's good, you put those away. Now, do you understand me at all? Anything I'm saying?" He tilted his head again and looked at me closely. I just stood there, keeping my gaze locked with his. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help you. Do you understand?"

He moved so fast I didn't even have time to yelp. He scurried over the bed until he was looming over me, his hands gripping my upper arms so tight they left bruises. I bit back a cry and kept staring into his eyes, willing him to remember something. He lowered his face to my hair and inhaled deeply. I didn't move a muscle, hoping against hope that the same thing would happen here that had happened back in the woods of Pennsylvania. It didn't happen quite that way, but I wasn't completely disappointed. "I know you." He rasped, his voice rusty from disuse.

"Yes, you do." I whispered, trembling a little. He pulled away to look at me but he didn't let me go. "You know me very well."

"You're Hellcat. My partner."

"Yes, that's right. But my real name is Angela."

"But you don't smell right." He gripped my arms tighter and I winced. "You look like her, but you smell different."

"Yeah well, we'll get to that later." I said, my voice tight with pain. "For now, can you let me go? You're hurting me."

"Good." He snarled. "What are you? Some kinda shapeshifter?"

"NO!" I cried. "I'm not. I'm Hellcat, I swear. Ask me anything."

"Fine. What was our first mission together?"

"I had to infiltrate a military contractor's office and steal some files. You were the driver and my backup in case anything went wrong. As I was leaving, I got shot and you killed all three of the guys who were chasing me. On the way to the extraction point, I dug the bullet out of my shoulder myself because they didn't like to waste valuable medical resources on someone who would heal anyway." I chuckled bitterly. "You seemed pretty shocked by the concept."

He let me go and sat heavily on the bed, holding his head. "What's goin' on, 'Cat? I'm so confused. I feel like I've been out for days."

"Well, you kind of have been. More than you know." I sat down next to him. "I need you to think really hard, ok? What's the last thing you remember?"

"I…we were at the base and Stryker said he had somethin' planned for me. Then…pain, like nothin' I've ever felt before. There was a fight…oh my God, did we kill all those people?"

I nodded. "Yeah, we did. And we got away and I found this place for us to hide." I turned to him and put my hand on his arm. "But I need you to think harder, ok? Because all of that happened a lot longer ago than you think."

"What are you talkin' about? 'Cat, did somethin' happen to me?"

I sighed. "Yeah, kind of. Look, it's been a rough day for both of us. Are you hungry?" He nodded and I stood up, holding out my hand. "Come on, let's get something to eat. We'll talk some more."

He looked at my outstretched hand curiously before taking it and standing up. "There's somethin' you're not tellin' me."

"Sweetheart, there's a lot I'm not telling you. But it's waited this long, it can wait a little longer. Come on, I'm starving."

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The downside to the cabin was a lack of things like fresh meat. Still, I managed to put together a decent meal for us, which we ate sitting in front of the fire. For all that I'd said we would talk, we remained silent, just staring into the fire. It was so much like those first few days after Alkali Lake and I was afraid to push him too far too soon. The last thing I needed was for him to disappear into the wilderness up here. After we were done, I put the dishes away and went to the wine cellar. I stayed down there for a bit longer than was absolutely necessary, crying. He was so close to me, but his mind had taken him to the last time we were here. I had over fifteen years to get through and only three weeks to do it. It seemed like such a daunting task and I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. But I had to try, I loved him too much not to.

I heard him moving around upstairs, so I grabbed a bottle of red and pulled myself together. Of course, I should have known it wouldn't be enough. I uncorked the bottle and sat back down next to him. A heartbeat later, he turned to me. "Uh, 'Cat? Have you been cryin'?"

"What?" I asked, startled. "Um, no why?"

He took the wine bottle away from me and set it aside. "Look, I can smell it. And I can smell that you're lyin'. So, why were you cryin'?"

"It's a long story and you're not ready to hear it, ok?" I grabbed the wine bottle and took a long drink, ignoring the mental image of Hank scowling at me. One drink wouldn't hurt anything.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that, ok?" He took the wine away again and tipped the bottle back for a long drink. "Whoa, that's good stuff."

"Yeah, it is. Nothing but the best for me."

"Still doesn't explain why you been cryin'. Come on, we've been partners for how long? I've never seen you cry."

"And you still haven't." Not today, I added to myself. "I guess…it's been a long couple of weeks and with all that snow out there, got a touch of cabin fever."

"That's not such a long story. Seems pretty simple to me."

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm also worried about Stryker's people finding us, you know?" Which was true. He just didn't know that I meant Asp and Tigress, not the goons that had been based at Alkali Lake.

"Yeah. I can't fuckin' believe the shit they put us through!"

"Believe it, because it's true. Have you seen your claws lately?"

"My claws?" He held up his hand and popped them out, then jumped back at what he saw. "What the fuck! Why'd they do this?"

"To make you a better killer, not that you needed the help."

He retracted his claws slowly, then took another long drink. "Jesus, they made me into some kinda monster."

"No! You're not a monster trust me on that one. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"How can you say that? Didn't I just kill you not that long ago?"

I shrugged. "I came back. I always come back."

"Yeah and I took advantage of that too, like some kinda animal."

"I thought I told you that I didn't mind? That it was ok, that I wanted it too?" I shifted myself so I was sitting in front of him. "Let me show you."

I took his head in my hands and kissed him softly. After a few moments, his arms slid around me and he lifted me up, carrying me to the bedroom. It wasn't an exact repeat of the first time we'd made love in this cabin, but that was all right with me. Just having him here with me, inside me, it was the sweetest thing I'd ever felt and it took all of my will to hold back new tears. He fell asleep before I did and I just watched him for a while, stroking his hair and falling in love with him all over again. He was back here with me and even though his mind had him in a different time, I knew this place was the right place to bring him back. I knew I could do it.

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I let it go for a few days, figuring that his mind would work things out on its own. I wasn't wrong, but mostly he was remembering stuff from before Alkali Lake. In fact, he even remembered some details from his childhood for the first time since I've known him. Had he stopped to think about it, he would realize that the memories he was having now were in direct conflict with the last time we were here, where he kept forgetting things about his past. Naturally, I never mentioned it. He still didn't remember his real name, but he seemed ok with that, saying that he'd been Logan for so long that anything else wouldn't feel right.

It was the morning of the fourth day that he remembered something about us. I was lounging in the armchair, reading a book with the chips on the floor as usual and he'd gone out for more firewood. He came back in much sooner than I expected and when I looked up, he had a haunted look in his eyes. "Logan? What's wrong?" I put my book down and stood up. "Logan?"

"Angela, is there somethin' wrong with me? Somethin' you ain't tellin' me?"

I bit my lip and looked down. "Uh, why do you ask?"

"I just had a memory of me an' you sittin' by a waterfall all cuddled up. But we've never done that, have we?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Come here, sit down." I said and led him to the couch. He shrugged out of his jacket and I tossed it aside before sitting next to him. "Logan, I know you think we've only been away from Alkali Lake for a couple weeks, but that's not actually true."

"The hell you talkin' about? How long has it been? How long have we been here?"

"We've only been here for four days. We've been away from Alkali Lake for over fifteen years." He listened in shock as I recounted what had happened immediately after Alkali Lake up to when we parted ways a few months later. "After that, I don't really know what happened to you because I wasn't there. I know you wandered quite a bit, worked the cage fighting circuit for a while. I wound up back in the States, wandered around until seven years ago when I settled in Detroit."

"But how could I forget about all that? Did they fuck with my head or somethin' too?"

"Yeah, they did. But that's not why you forgot so much. It's complicated. I don't know if I should tell you any more right now, I don't know if you're ready."

"Ready for what? Angela, I have a right to know damn it!"

"I know, Logan. And I swear, I'll tell you everything. But it seems like your memory is coming back on its own and it would be better if we let it happen that way as much as we can, ok? Please, just trust me on this."

"It's just so frustratin', you know? I can remember back to another goddamn century, but I can't remember the last fifteen years?"

"Believe me, this is an improvement. A few months ago, you couldn't remember anything beyond fifteen years ago."

His eyes widened. "You can't be serious."

"Absolutely serious. Your mind is finally healing after all this time. So we'll just let it do it in its own time, ok? I don't want to push it."

"All right." He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. "An' you know I trust you, with my life."

"Yeah, me too. Don't worry, we'll bring you up to speed before you know it."

We sat there watching the fire until we both dozed off. I don't know how long we slept there, but he eventually woke up and I vaguely remember him carrying me into the bedroom. After getting the both of us tucked in, he just held me and I fell back to sleep with the sound of his heart beating as my lullaby.

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The next week and half passed in much the same way. He remembered more things about the years after Alkali Lake and I checked in with Hank and the Professor on our progress. Snowstorms continued to plague us and there were few days where it was clear enough to go outside for even a few minute here and there. Hank asked me how I was feeling and I had to couch my answers in terms that wouldn't give my pregnancy away. I wanted to tell Logan so badly, but I wasn't sure he was ready for it.

It was early in the third week that I couldn't hold out on him any longer. By my calculations, I was about six weeks along and it had finally occurred to Logan that I wasn't smoking or drinking like I normally would. For some reason, the smell of his cigars didn't bother me at all but cigarette smoke was enough to send me running to the bathroom. Fortunately, that was the only thing (so far). At any rate, he finally confronted me with it when I turned him down to join him for a drink after dinner that night.

"Angela, you haven't had anythin' since our first night here an' I know you better than that." He said when I waved the bottle away. "What aren't you tellin' me?"

"Quite a lot, actually." I replied, rubbing my forehead. "I'm not sure if you can handle it just yet."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that, all right?"

"It's not that simple. There's so much about us that you haven't remembered and I'm afraid to trigger more than you can handle without…you know."

"Goin' crazy again?" I nodded and he scowled at me. "Look, I'm past that, ok? An' who knows? Maybe whatever it is will bring more stuff back."

I couldn't dispute that logic, not really. I sighed and brought my knees up, resting my chin on them as I stared into the fire. "Remember when you first woke up, you said I smelled like me only different?" He nodded. "Well, I know that you can smell all kinds of stuff no one else can, like if people are sick or whatever."

"Is that it?" He asked, concern coloring his voice. "You got somethin' wrong with you an' your healin' factor ain't good enough to handle it?"

"No, nothing like that. At least, I hope you won't think of it that way." I took a deep breath and looked him steadily in the eye. "Logan, I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in shock. "You're…when? Since we've been here?"

"No. If my math is right, about six weeks ago."

His shocked expression changed to a scowl. "Six weeks. So whose is it then?"

"I know what you're thinking…"

"No, I don't think you do. I have no idea how long we've been apart. Last thing I knew, I left you on a road over fifteen years ago."

"Yeah, that's what I thought you were thinking, actually." I took another deep breath. "Lover, it's yours."

I wasn't sure what to expect, so I held my breath as I watched him closely. At first, his eyes went completely blank, no expression on his face at all. He sat there like that for a long time and waving my hand in front of his face didn't affect him in the slightest. I felt tears burning in my eyes, I was afraid that I'd broken him all over again, only this time he'd retreated completely inward and become catatonic. I held the tears back and moved from the floor by the fire to the sofa, curling up and waiting to see what would happen next.

I must have dozed off because I was suddenly awakened by a shout. I sprang to my feet, claws out and looked around. I relaxed when I realized we were still alone, but Logan was prowling back and forth, hands clutching his hair and growling. I didn't move again, not wanting to startle him, but I did keep a very close eye on him. In a matter of minutes, his rage gave way to something that's almost worse: frustration. He was mumbling under his breath too softly for even me to hear, but I was sure he was simply working through this new set of memories that had been dumped on him.

After about fifteen minutes, his head snapped up and he looked at me without seeing me and said the first word since before I told him about the baby. "Jean." He said in a strangled voice and he fell to his knees in front of the fire. "Oh God, Jean!"

I still didn't move, but fresh tears burned in my eyes as I watched him grieve for the other woman he'd cared deeply about. I still couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy towards her. She'd been in his heart and irrational though it was, I couldn't help it. Deep down inside, I was glad that I had never met her, that I would never meet her, because to me she'd always be the "other woman". Still, watching him grieve for her hurt me because it hurt him and that was more than I could bear at the moment.

He quieted after a while, becoming very still but not like the near-catatonia from before. It was plain to see that he was still working things through, but on a more consciously internal level. I sat back down on the couch, curled up into the corner and waited. I must have dozed off yet again because the next time I opened my eyes he was kneeling in front of me, just watching me sleep. "Darlin', I'm so sorry." He said softly, his eyes full of sorrow.

"What?" I asked, confused from sleep. "You didn't do anything to be sorry for."

"Yeah, I did. I forgot you all over again. How could I do that when I love you so much?"

"Lover, there were circumstances. It's complicated. What did you remember?"

He recounted everything that had come back to him, which encompassed much of the past year up to the night before we retrieved Scott, the night I'd conceived this child. I laid my hand softly against his cheek and he turned his face and kissed my palm. "That's why I'm sorry, because I can't believe that anythin' could ever make me forget all of that, 'specially you."

"Hey, the important part is that you remember NOW." I said. He smiled a little and joined me on the couch. I snuggled up to him as he wrapped his arm around me. "Like I said, it's complicated. There are other things you need to know, but I think I'll save that for when we're back at the mansion, ok?"

"Sure, darlin'." He pulled me into his lap and kissed me soundly. "So, we're havin' a baby?"

"What's this 'we' crap, buster? I'm the one that has to do all the work."

He laughed even as he kissed me again. "Angela, there's nothin' on this planet that could possibly make me happier than knowin' that you're havin' my baby."

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I know. And I've wanted to tell you since we got here, but I was afraid you weren't ready for it. I was afraid it would bring back too much too fast and you'd go all feral on me again. I just couldn't chance it."

"I understand, darlin'. You had to keep yourself safe first, so you could keep our baby safe." I nodded and he sighed. "I'm so sorry you went through all of this. I don't know why it happened but I swear I'll do whatever I can to make sure it never happens again."

I sniffled, not bothering to hold back my tears, which were happy ones for a change. "I'm just so glad to have you back. I missed you so much!"

"I know, darlin'." He cradled me in his arms and carried me back to the bedroom. He put me down gently and stretched out next to me. We took our time, going as slowly as we could stand. Every touch was electric, every kiss conveying emotions we didn't have words for. Hours later, we collapsed into each other's arms, complete for the first time in over a month. I knew he still had to come to terms with what had happened after we got Scott back, but I didn't worry about that. I had Logan back and that was all that mattered to me.

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AN: Well, there it is...Logan's getting his memory back a bit at a time...i'll deal with more of that throughout this story...but it's a very long life he's had, so i probably won't get through all of it in one story...:) Next chap is Logan's POV, which i know some of you have been waiting for...:) Special thanks to Zac and Turiel Tincdaniel, the best beta readers ever...:) Extra Special thanks to DBK(tm) for thinking that my story rocks, even when i have doubts...Super Special thanks to my readers, since it's you guys who make me think i'm not the only one having fun here...and Super Special Swanky thanks to those who reviewed, which for Ch. 4 were reeltreble1031, Miss Lover Girl and Ineluctability...Also, rhiannonUK, who FINALLY got around to reading this story! Reviews are living proof that i'm not the only one having fun...:)

So review already! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and i'll give you a shout out at the end of the next chapter:)