"Hey, can you get me some lunch?" Toph asked Rinna, pulling the petty cash purse out of her drawer.
"Sure. What do you want?"
"Hm. You know, I'm kinda feeling adventurous today. Feeling like something new. Surprise me."
Four hours later, the workday for normal people drew to a close.
"Well, I'm headed out," Rinna announced. "See you tomorrow."
"Sure," Toph muttered.
"Are you okay? You're very pale."
"Think maybe my lunch didn't agree with me."
"Oh, no, I'm so sorry! Do you need me to get you anything before I go?"
"No, it's fine. It's not that serious."
Sadly, Toph could not partake in a relaxing evening, herself. That night, the next day, and the whole weekend were booked solid with Police Chief responsibilities. She finished up the report she was working on, filed it, and started heading toward the conference room.
Unfortunately, the annoying but manageable queasiness became suddenly dire with the motion of walking. She had to divert and literally run to the ladies' room.
"Something wrong, Chief?" Nato asked when she made it to her meeting. "You don't look so great."
She just shook her head weakly. "I think I might have food poisoning from my lunch today."
"Oh. That's not good."
"Absolute shit timing is what it is. First Lin getting sick and now this, just as we're starting to get a handle on things. I cannot afford to miss what we have lined up for this weekend."
It was a miserable evening. She had to keep a trash can next to her the whole time and occasionally run to the bathroom. Around two in the morning, she stumbled home and crashed hard, then returned to work early the next day.
"Spirits, Chief, did you sleep at all?" Yachi asked.
"Maybe like four hours. Once I woke up, I felt too sick to fall back asleep."
"I know you don't want to hear this," Nato said, "but maybe you should go home and rest so you can have some chance of making it through the press conference."
"There's too much to do. I'll just have to deal with it."
After another couple hours of misery, she sent a telegram to Katara, asking if there was something she could bring to settle her stomach. Not long after, her friend arrived with a thermos and did the expected motherly routine– feeling her forehead and asking a bunch of pointless questions.
"Well, you don't have a fever. If you've been sick since yesterday afternoon, you're hopefully on the mend already."
"It's not quite as bad as last night, I guess. At least I stopped shitting water. How's Lin doing?"
"She's fine, but not happy about you working all weekend."
"Maybe I'll try to make it over there tonight. We'll see."
Fortunately, whatever Katara had brought seemed to do the trick. By the time the press conference rolled around, Toph was feeling somewhat better.
"The Republic City Police Force would like to issue an official statement regarding the recent bloodbending incidents," she said to the crowd. "As far as we know, only a single person is responsible. We urge citizens not to turn against the waterbending community, as the vast majority of them are simply trying to live a peaceful life."
"Chief Beifong, is it true that there is a suspected connection between the bloodbending attacks and Yakone?
Fuck, how did that get out? "So far there is no evidence linking the bloodbending to any gang activity." Maybe not any physical evidence, at least.
"Is the city intending to reimburse business owners for damages caused by the recent riots?"
The low-level queasiness started to rise a little and Toph felt her heart rate pick up. She cleared her throat softly and swallowed. "You'll have to take that up with the Council."
"What measures are being taken to protect citizens against bloodbending attacks, given how random it seems to be? Is there going to be any sort of curfew enacted for benders? Specifically waterbenders?"
"We're currently doing everything we can to protect people," Toph said, barely noticing the prick of indignation from the subtle implication that she wasn't doing enough to keep people safe; she was too busy trying to suppress the nausea. "There will be no curfew, certainly not targeting any one group of people. It would only make things worse."
"Has there been any link found between each of the bloodbending victims?"
"Unfortunately, I can't share specific information about ongoing cases. But I understand–" Her throat went tight. She couldn't hold it back anymore. Without another word, she turned away and stepped off the back of the platform, falling to one knee to vomit on the ground.
"Please excuse Chief Beifong," Nato said quickly amid the disgusted murmurs. "She hasn't been well today. I'm happy to take any more questions you have."
With the press occupied, Toph slipped away, back to her office. For several more hours, she tried to get some work done, but apparently Katara's remedy had completely worn off.
"This is getting ridiculous, Chief," Nato said around seven o'clock. "You need to go home and get some rest."
"We still have–"
"Please," Yachi said. "You're honestly making this take longer. And I'm getting sick of listening to you puke your guts out. And having to smell it."
There were murmured agreements from the others and Toph clenched her jaw indignantly. "Fine," she snapped, getting up and gathering her files. "Sorry I'm holding you all back."
"We just want you to give your body a chance to recover. It's going to take longer for you to get better if you keep trying to work through it."
"I'm going to the Island in case you need me."
Oddly, the whole way there, she actually felt okay. Well, except for the ferry. That unsettled her stomach even on the best days; today, she spent the whole ride leaning over the railing.
The second she walked into the house, Lin ran over and slammed into her legs.
"Oof," Toph grunted, doubling over and trying not to retch. "Hey, Buttercup," she said, running her hand through Lin's hair as Katara came into the room.
"Oh, hey. How did today go? You feeling any better?"
Toph just shook her head.
"Lin, why don't you get Tenzin and start getting ready for bed?" Katara suggested.
When Lin didn't respond or move, instead opting to stay glued to her mother's side, Toph crouched down. "Go on. I know it's the weekend, but I'm not feeling great and I'll be going to bed soon, too."
"You're staying?" Lin asked hopefully.
"Yeah."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay." She reluctantly began walking towards the bedrooms while Toph sat back on her heels, too tired to stand back up.
"Did that drink not help?" Katara asked.
"It did, but it wore off before I was finished with the press conference. Can you make me some more? I'd really like to be able to eat something and keep it down. And actually sleep tonight."
When she woke up the next morning feeling just as bad as before, Katara gave her a decent supply of the spicy, gingery drink. It allowed her to get through the weekend without too much difficulty, but it did eventually run out.
On the morning of the fifth day of being sick, Toph dropped Lin off at school, making sure to get there early enough to catch Katara. "Can you make me some more of that drink and send it to the station?"
"You're still sick? It's been almost a week, Toph. Food poisoning doesn't last this long."
"Can you do it or not?"
"I can, but..."
"What?" Toph snapped, not remotely in the mood. She didn't want to have anything to do with whatever Katara was about to say.
"Are you sure maybe there isn't...something else going on?"
It had crossed her mind, of course. And she had promptly buried the thought. It was unacceptable. "I didn't ask for a diagnosis."
"Please don't be stubborn about this. You came to me for help. If there's even the slightest possibility that you might be pregnant, you might as well just tell me now and save us both some time. Otherwise, I can rule it out and try to figure out what's really going on."
"Just give it a rest, alright?" Toph muttered, Katara's blunt words making her fragile denial begin to crumble. "It's none of your–" She had to swallow slowly and take a few deep breaths to hold onto her meager breakfast of dry toast.
"You seem to be forgetting that you're the one who asked me for help. So yes, it is my business. Spirits save me," she added in an exasperated voice.
Toph pursed her lips and chose her next words carefully. "I'm not saying you're right, because I'll need a lot more evidence than just an upset stomach, but hypothetically speaking, how long does it take to start feeling sick?"
"It varies. Around a month is most common, but it's possible to start feeling it after only a week or two."
Toph's shoulders slumped despondently as she did the math; it wasn't the answer she was hoping for. If – and she was still holding onto hope that there was another explanation – but if Katara was right, there was now reasonable doubt as to who was responsible.
"So, um..." Katara continued. "You're seeing someone?"
"Nope," Toph said with a stubborn grunt, unwilling to share more. "I have to go. And keep your unfounded theories to yourself!"
A bit later, an air acolyte arrived with sweet, gingery relief. But Katara had gone above beyond, providing a list of ingredients and instructions on how to make it. Toph was exceptionally grateful until she realized the implication: Katara didn't expect her to get better any time soon.
For the next two weeks, Toph had to continuously dose herself in order to function. Fortunately, it was easy enough to hide and most people seemed to think she'd gone back to normal. She herself wasn't entirely sure what was going on, or what she wanted to do about it. Hope still lingered.
And then one afternoon something...not totally unexpected happened.
"Good," she said to Lin, nodding. "Now try it again with the blindfold."
Since things had finally calmed down a little with work, they were having one of their usual weekend training sessions at home. On the point of repeating the current exercise, Toph was halted by a familiar cramping sensation in her stomach. As irregular as she typically was, there was a big part of her that wanted to believe it was normal woman stuff, and that the weird sickness was just a random, unrelated thing. Perfectly rational.
"Mom? What are you doing?"
"Actually…I think we'll quit early today."
"Are you getting sick again?" Lin asked hesitantly, sounding a little worried.
"I'm fine, just tired. C'mon, let's go upstairs. I'll get you a snack and you give me a few hours of peace and quiet. Deal?"
By the next day, the relatively mild pain and bleeding had stopped, which was…confusing and a little unsettling. But Toph felt more like herself than she had in weeks– physically at least.
"Good morning," Rinna said cheerfully, receiving nothing more than a grunt in response. "Still not feeling well?"
"Eh. I'm okay, actually. Finally got some good rest this weekend."
"I'm glad. You seem a little out of sorts, though."
Toph shrugged, her mind a jumble of conflicting emotions. Relief, yes, but other things, too. "Just in a weird mood, I guess."
"Hey, look on the bright side: You've got a patrol shift later today."
It should have cheered her up, but all it did was remind her how much she'd pushed herself lately, trying to work through being sick. Had her workaholic behavior ended yet another unwanted potential life? She would probably never know, and this time she couldn't unload her emotional baggage on Sokka. It most likely had nothing to do with him, anyway, and she wasn't about to confess her obscene lapse in judgment.
Her patrol shift that day was with an overconfident young officer named Perino. He paced along all puffed up, taking large strides with his shoulders back. Keeping up with him would have required her to practically jog, but she wasn't willing to do that.
"You know, you're not proving anything by demonstrating that your legs are longer than mine," she said irritably before he could get too far ahead, not really feeling sick anymore but still dead tired. "Just fucking walk like a normal person."
"Er, sorry," he said, slowing to let her catch up. "I'm a fast walker."
"It's not a race. Focus on paying attention to your surroundings."
"Yes, Chief."
Damn straight, she grumbled silently.
Despite the rebuke, he spent the next half hour talking her ear off while she occasionally made non-committal grunts in response. Still, it helped get her mind off other things, so she let him.
"Stop!" a woman screamed shrilly somewhere nearby. "Thief! Police!"
Toph didn't hesitate, immediately shooting her cables out to fling herself towards the shouting. Perino followed after a moment and they arrived at the scene while the woman was still yelling.
"He went that way!" she cried. "Took everything from my cash register!"
Toph pushed her senses out to locate the fleeing figure. "C'mon, we can cut him off," she said to Perino before using her cables to fling herself to the top of a nearby building, the surge of adrenaline a welcome change. She loved this shit.
Together they ran across several roofs, leaping from one to the other. Between one heartbeat and the next, time seemed to slow to a crawl. In those next few eternal moments, two things happened: First, Toph became aware that her own pulse was not alone. The shock of that unlikely fact made her miss the beginning of the second thing. Perino had vanished from her tremor sense and was shouting. Falling.
Without thought, she leapt down, shot one cable toward a wall, and the other toward his voice. It was a desperate, hurried catch, but she managed to slow his descent enough for a safe landing. She dropped to the ground gracefully and searched for her quarry, but he'd vanished in the confusion.
"Fuck."
Perino coughed awkwardly. "Er, thanks for the save. My cable harness broke and I panicked."
Toph then remembered what she had discovered on the rooftop. Focusing, she looked inward and listened hard. Yes, it was really there. Somehow. "Fuck," she said again, hands beginning to tremble. She clenched them tightly so he wouldn't notice.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just mad that guy got away. We need to go back to that shop and take the owner's statement. Ugh. This is not a great look for me. Can't even catch a damn regular-ass thief," she muttered to herself.
"It's not your fault."
"Of course it is. I'm responsible for you. And your faulty equipment. Gonna have to check every goddamn one now." She was beginning to have some difficulty focusing on the matter at hand, other thoughts and worries buzzing around her mind frantically. "You go question the witness, then go back to Headquarters and get a new cable harness. I have something I need to take care of."
With that, Toph stalked off, trying to decide which way to go. Headquarters…or the hospital. Katara would probably be there and could provide a solution.
I can't do it again. I just fucking can't. It's not an option. Then her mind would do a one-eighty. Sooner or later Katara will tell Sokka about this and he'll assume it was his. Then I'll have to tell him the truth…or not. Either way, he'll probably never get over it.
That's idiotic, Toph! It's your choice! Make it yourself. You know what you need to do. You've never based your life decisions on what other people think! Why start now, and with him? He should be begging for *your* forgiveness.
That's not the point! This is a major, life-changing thing here. It might not even work, and he'd hate me for trying, and I'd still be stuck with another kid! No matter what I do, I'm fucked!
Twice, she got off of a streetcar and got on another one going a different direction, unable to decide. Waffling painfully back and forth. Try to get rid of the problem…or let nature take its course, and come what may? Sokka. Satoru. Lin.
Ughhh! Fuck!
In the end, the only decision she could make was to not make one at all, and she wound up back in her office without a damn clue of where to go from there.
"Come in," Sokka said in response to a knock on his office door.
"You have a visitor, Councilman. Chief Beifong's secretary. She said it's urgent."
He frowned in confusion, a little worried. "Send her in."
Rinna waited until the door clicked shut behind her before speaking. "Thank you for seeing me, Councilman."
"Is something wrong with Toph?" he asked without preamble, seeing the tightness around her eyes. The formality between them fell away in favor of the long years they'd known each other.
"She locked herself in her office and won't let me in. It's been over an hour and I'm really concerned. She's never done anything like this before. I would have called but I figured it would be more discreet to come here in person, as I can't get to the telephone in her office."
"Did something happen?" Sokka asked, his frown deepening. "Is she upset about something?"
"She did seem a little down this morning, but nothing dramatic. Then she went on patrol a few hours ago. When I came back from my lunch break, the door was locked but my key wasn't working, so I asked an officer to help me. He couldn't budge it and said she must be in there holding the lock in place herself."
He drummed his fingers on his desk, wracking his brain. In the last month, ever since their fallout, he'd kept his distance. They still interacted professionally, of course, but it was clear that Toph didn't want to be around him any more than necessary, which was…painful but understandable.
What to do? It seemed highly unlikely that, whatever was bothering her, she would be willing to share it with him. "Hm. I guess I can give it a shot. No promises, though. Sometimes she shuts me out along with everyone else."
"I'm sorry to bother you with this. I'm sure you're busy. I just didn't know who else to ask."
"No, it's okay." He sighed and stood up. "Let's go."
When they got there, Rinna stayed in reception to give him a fighting chance and he approached Toph's office apprehensively.
"Toph? It's me. Can I come in?" No answer. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but I'm worried enough to stand here until you let me in." It was a bluff; he really couldn't afford to wait her out if she was determined to be stubborn. "People will get curious and start wondering," he added in a lower voice. "You know that's not a good look for either of us. So. Your choice."
There was another long pause, then the lock clicked open. He sighed with relief and went in quickly before she could change her mind. The second he was through the door, it slammed shut and the lock clicked again.
"T?" he said, looking around in confusion. She wasn't at her desk.
Then a faint sniffle came from behind it and he went around to find her sitting against the wall with her knees up. Her face was calm but red and streaked with tears. She just sat there with a totally blank expression, not acknowledging his presence in any way.
Spirits, what's happened? This is worse than I thought. Wordlessly, he sat down next to her and waited, hoping she would say something. But she never did.
"Look," he said finally. "If you don't want to talk, fine, but I'm not sure what the point of locking yourself in here is. Rinna can't get any work done, and it doesn't look like you're being especially productive, either."
"Don't fucking care..." she muttered under her breath. "Fuck this job. Fuck everything."
She buried her face in her arms, crossed over her knees. Sokka tentatively reached out and put his hand on her back, but she immediately sat up.
"Don't fucking touch me!"
The venom in her voice stunned him and he recoiled, hurt. What could have brought on this mood, this anger and despair? Obviously, something horrible had happened while she was out on patrol. But what? She usually loved going out into the city, doing real police work. Had someone died?
He was about to ask when she suddenly reached forward and threw up into the trash can that sat under her desk.
"Are you still sick?" he said, surprised. "I thought you'd gotten over that bug?" It worried him. What if there was something really wrong with her?
"It's just stress."
"Do you want me to get Katara–"
"No."
"Okay... Then why don't you go home? You've obviously given up on trying to work."
"I–" She took a slow, shaky breath. "I just want to be alone. If I go home, I have to be a parent. And I just...can't right now. There's not–" Her voice caught, bottom lip quivering. "There's not enough of me."
"T, you're really worrying me. Please tell me what's wrong."
There was a brief pause, and for a second he thought she was about to open up. Then her jaw clenched stubbornly.
"No."
Sokka closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, knowing he'd lost. She wasn't going to crack. But he was too concerned to be frustrated with her, or at least guilty enough about what had happened between them to not show it.
"Do you want me to get Lin after I'm done with work? Take her to spend the night on the Island?"
"...Yeah."
"Okay." He got to his feet, satisfied that he had found some small way to help. "I hope you feel better. If you decide you want to talk, you know where to find me." At the door, he paused and turned. "I'm going to tell Rinna to take the rest of the day off."
"Fine."
Halfway back to City Hall, stewing on the problem, several key clues fell into place and the light clicked on. He stopped dead in his tracks, his stomach flopping over nervously. Spirits, how did I not see it sooner?
"Hey, you! Get out of the road!"
Sokka blinked and realized he'd stopped in the middle of the street. With a shake, he hurried out of the way. Could it be true? There weren't many things that could break Toph Beifong, but the prospect of being burdened with another child could certainly be one of them. It seemed to fit, considering how long she'd been sick and all the things she'd said. 'There's not enough of me. Not to mention the timing. But why would she keep that from him?
"Fuck," he whispered to himself. And yet, an excited thrill shot through him. If he was right... But it would be kind of a disaster, wouldn't it? Given their circumstances, there would be no easy way for them to raise a child together. I'll have to resign, he thought dismally. It'll be a huge mess, but I'll be damned if I let her do this alone. If it's even true. Who knows, maybe I'm way off. I should just wait and see before I get ahead of myself.
A few hours later, he made his way to Toph's house. Sora stuck her head out of the kitchen window when he buzzed in.
"Oh, hello. Sorry, but she's not home yet."
"Actually, she sent me here because she has to work late. I'm going to take Lin to the Island to spend the night."
"Oh, okay. I'll bring her down, just give me a minute to pack a bag for her."
Five minutes later, Lin dashed out the front door. "Uncle Sokka!" she called happily while Sora locked the door.
"Hey, kiddo," he said, tossing her into the air. He couldn't help but wonder how she might be affected by possible upcoming changes as he listened to her squeal happily.
"Can we go to the zoo? Mom never takes me to the zoo."
"You know what? Sure. Today is Let's-do-whatever-Lin-wants Day."
Her eyes widened excitedly. "Really?! Can we have ice cream for dinner?"
"Alright, but if you get a tummyache, you'll know whose fault it is."
"Yeah, yours!" She grinned back at him, cackling.
"Wh– Mine? How would it be my fault?"
"'Cause you're the grownup and you said yes."
"Oh, yeah?" he challenged. "And what if I change my mind and say no?"
"Nope, too late! It's Do-whatever-I-want Day!"
Fortunately, she didn't question her impromptu day out with her favorite uncle, so he was spared breaking the news that she wouldn't see her mother that night. Exhausted from the fun-filled evening, she fell asleep in his arms before he caught the last ferry of the day.
"Is Toph working late?" Katara asked softly when he made it to the house.
He hesitated, not sure if he should be honest. "Yeah," he said finally, opting to keep it simple. "Gonna go put her to bed."
Lin stirred as he tucked her in. "Is Mom coming soon?" she murmured.
"Not tonight. You'll see her tomorrow."
Her lower lip quivered. "Promise? She won't miss Careers Day?"
Sokka furrowed his brows; he'd forgotten all about that. "I'm sure she'll be there. But don't you worry. If she can't make it, I'll definitely be there."
A pitiful whine escaped her, then she started quietly crying.
"Hey," he soothed. "What's the matter?"
"I want Mom."
"I know. I'm sorry." It was hard not to be a little bitter. No matter how much time he spent with Lin, no matter how much he devoted himself to being a father figure to her, 'Mom' was always going to be Number One in her book.
"She's always busy. She likes work more than me."
"That's not true." It killed him that, in this particular instance, Toph actually was deliberately avoiding her daughter. He was finding it a little challenging to defend her. "She has to work hard to keep this city safe for you."
But it didn't seem to comfort her much. She just cried in his arms until she fell back asleep. When he finally escaped to the living room, he found Katara curled up with a book.
"What's with the face?" she asked, glancing up.
"She was upset about Toph not being here. I hate seeing her like that."
Katara just nodded absently. "That's pretty normal for when she spends the night here without Toph."
"Really?" he asked, dismayed.
"Mhmm. Though it's not so bad when she goes to bed with Tenzin."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, even more worried for the future than he had been before. "Um. Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
The question had been a little impetuous and he took a moment to collect his thoughts while he got himself settled in a chair. "You think Toph has been acting...strange...lately?"
Katara put on a carefully bland face– a sure sign that he was on the right track. She obviously knew something. "What do you mean?" she asked innocently.
"Well...I happen to know that she's still sick, despite her trying to hide it. That's not normal."
"Stress can cause that. She's not twenty anymore."
He gave her a withering look, scoffing. "You say that like she's just having heartburn or some shit. Constant vomiting for three weeks straight isn't a normal stress reaction."
"I think you're exaggerating just a little bit," she replied, rolling her eyes. "But her medical concerns are none of your business, and they're certainly none of my business to discuss with you."
But it is my business. For a moment, he allowed himself to wonder what would happen if Toph really were carrying his child. The truth would come out eventually, wouldn't it? He would definitely want his kid to know who he was. But for now, until he had a chance to talk to Toph about it, secrecy seemed to be the best course of action.
"That doesn't mean I can't be worried," he said. "It's gotten to the point of affecting her job. And Lin, now, too."
Katara crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "So she's not working late, then?"
"...Not exactly."
"What's going on? I gave her something to settle her stomach."
Sokka ran his hands down his face, frustrated. "I don't know. She won't talk to me."
"You know," she said slowly, a curious look on her face, "it hasn't escaped me that her seeing someone else has created a rift between you two. It obviously bothers you."
"Why do you keep beating this dead ostrich-horse?" he demanded, letting himself get a little angry. "She's moved on. So have I. Fucking let it go."
It had occurred to him, right before that last big fight with Toph, that they'd actually sort of been together the last few years. It hadn't been a physical relationship – not until the very end, anyway – but certainly an emotional one. He desperately wanted to find that rhythm again, that easy friendship that was so much more than friendship. He now knew its limits, and where not to go.
Katara looked at him soberly while he ruminated, then a slightly abashed expression spread across her face. "I'm sorry. It's just… I can see that you're hurting. I know it's none of my business, but I don't like to see you so unhappy and not know why or be able to do anything about it."
"My misery is my own business, and more complex than you think," he said in a tight voice. "It's been a constant companion for as long as I can remember, with only brief respites. But it's not your responsibility to fix. It's not something that an optimistic conversation can fix."
"I know."
They both went quiet until he couldn't stand it anymore. "I'm almost positive you know more than you're saying," he pressed, needing to know. "About Toph, I mean. I know I shouldn't ask, but I just want to stop worrying that she's seriously sick or dying."
"She's not. But I think you already know that. It's clear that you've drawn your own conclusions."
"I'm not an idiot. I do know a few things about women."
Katara sighed, a regretful look on her face. "If it's true, I doubt she'll keep it. And it's probably for the best, all things considered."
Sokka's breath caught, chest tightening painfully, and he struggled not to show it on his face. "I didn't– That's an option?" he managed, giving his best attempt at nonchalance. Would she really do that? Even knowing how much it would hurt me? "Is that…safe?"
"Well..." She grimaced. "In the early stages, it's not too bad, especially considering the inherent dangers of childbirth. The biggest danger is losing the ability to have children in the future, and she wouldn't care about that."
Sokka frowned, perturbed. But when he opened his mouth to say…something – he wasn't sure what – Katara cut him off.
"Stay out of it. It has nothing to do with you. Let her make her own decisions."
He sighed and got up, deciding it was time to end the conversation. He had some serious thinking to do.
The next morning, having barely slept, Sokka went straight to the police station to confront Toph.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Councilman," the receptionist said, "but she won't be in until later this afternoon."
"Hm? She's taking the morning off?"
"I was told she had some personal business to take care of. Would you like to leave a message for her?"
Sokka's stomach dropped. So. She's really going to do it. Without even talking to me. A tiny part of him was relieved, but the rest of his thoughts were full of anger, betrayal, and a deep sense of loss. "No, that's fine. I'll track her down later."
He hurried to his office at City Hall and picked up the telephone. First, he called Toph's house, just to check. No answer. Next, he called Air Temple Island, assuming she would enlist Katara's services.
"She isn't here," his sister said. "But I thought I already told you to stay out of it?"
"I'm just worried about her. I want to make sure she's okay. It's not like her to disappear like this."
"I'm sure she'll be at the school today. If you want to talk to her so bad, just go there."
Toph was gone—outside the city limits, land-skiing into the wild terrain beyond, up and down hills, speeding between the trees. It was extremely freeing, like she was leaving all her troubles behind.
With the help of earthbending, she quickly climbed to the top of the tallest peak overlooking Republic City. While she couldn't enjoy the view the way seeing people did, there was still something majestic about the lay of the land the way she saw it.
Down below were miniature buildings, endless streets, and swarms of tiny people going about their day—all barely perceived from such a distance. Up here, there was only the fresh, crisp air and the sounds of nature. No crime, no noise, no offensive smells. But best of all, there were no responsibilities. No paperwork, no cold cases. No officers to manage. No Yakone. No Lin.
Toph stood on the edge of a cliff, toes hanging over the edge, and tried in vain to empty herself of all thought and emotion. A vicious wind picked up, tearing at her hair and clothes, whistling shrilly. Suddenly furious, she screamed back at it, a wordless shout of rage, while the mountain rumbled beneath her feet.
When she had no more breath in her lungs, she wiped the tears from her face and sat down. A strange sort of calm settled over her and she knew that her decision was made.
"Lin," she said, directing her focus at her daughter's location down below. It didn't matter that she was too far away to pick out the small form; she knew. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I have a feeling you're probably going to hate me for it one day. I'm sorry for being a shit, absent mother who can't get her priorities straight. If your sibling manages to make it into this world, I'm sorry to both of you for wishing that I could go back, because right now, at this moment, I do. I might not normally feel that way, but I'm sure this won't be the last time. And believe it or not, it's not out of selfishness this time. I'm getting out all my 'sorries' now because—and you'll learn this one day—I'm not so great at saying it when it matters."
She crossed her arms over her stomach, hugging herself tightly against the chill. "I'm sorry, kid," she whispered. "Sorry that I don't know who your dad is, and might not ever. I made two huge, dumb mistakes, and you were the result of one of them. But…I'll do what I can to keep you from finding that out. I may not be a good mom, but hopefully I can do that much. I'll lie my ass off if I have to. Lie until I believe it, myself."
Toph spent the entire morning on that mountain, mostly feeling sorry for herself and worrying over how to handle Sokka and Satoru.
The latter would be easy…hopefully. If he confronted her, she could tell him she'd discovered the pregnancy only a few days after their unspeakable tryst, and therefore he couldn't possibly be responsible. There was a good chance he would accept that answer with relief and leave her alone. He had his wife and stepson to worry about, after all.
Sokka was the bigger issue. She spent hours going through what to say to him, planning it out and rehearsing it, trying to anticipate his responses. The more she thought about it, the more she saw that there was only one logical way forward. And he wasn't going to like it.
By the time her watch read twelve o'clock, she had developed a terrible headache behind her eyes. But it was time to go, so she set off for the city with grim determination.