"Can you go find Toph?" Katara asked Sokka. "Dinner's almost ready."
"Do you have any idea where she went?"
"She said she was going for a walk."
"Alright," he sighed. "Guess I'll start looking."
Of all the places on the Island that Toph had a tendency to disappear to, there were two that seemed the most likely: the beach, or a certain cliff on the west side. He opted for the cliff first, it being much closer. She was probably too tired to walk down to the beach, anyway.
Ten minutes later, he spotted her sitting with her legs dangling off the edge. A sudden memory bloomed in his head—a conversation in that very spot just a little over five years ago. She didn't move as he approached, though her fingers were periodically digging into the stone on either side of her.
"Whatcha thinking about?" he asked.
"Trying not to, actually."
Katara probably expected him to have to search for a while so he took the opportunity to sit for a few minutes. It was rare for him and Toph to get the chance to have private conversations. He sorely missed that, especially now that she seemed to have regained the ability to relax around him. And not snap at him for every little thing.
"You know," he began, "we sat here five years ago and–"
"I remember."
"Guess we're a couple months late."
"I wasn't exactly in the mood to revisit that moment, at the time."
"Understandable," Sokka murmured.
"Ironic, isn't it?"
"What?"
"What we talked about then," she said, shrugging. "Me, realizing I was content with how things turned out. You, bitter about not having gotten what you wanted out of life. Our choices and regrets. Now here we are, five years later. I'm not content anymore, and you might finally be getting what you want. Close enough for you to pretend, anyway."
Her voice was so calm, devoid of any bitterness or disdain, yet what she was actually saying stung for some reason. It was like…they couldn't seem to align. He shifted around and tried to get a good look at her face, though as usual it was partially obscured by her hair. It was as serene as her voice had been.
His eyes slowly traveled down, settling on her stomach. "I'm not pretending. I've done the math. It's been four months since our big fight—since your…drunken adventure—and you look further along than that. Unless there's more than one in there," he teased, chuckling. He glanced back up in time to see a flicker of annoyance appear on her face, though it quickly faded away.
"Oh? And when did you become an expert?"
"I'm more observant than you give me credit for," he said proudly.
"You don't have all the information. I can narrow it down to three…events—one of them being my 'drunken adventure', as you so colorfully put it—and Katara agrees with the timeline. I can say with confidence that there is reasonable doubt. Believe me, I wish there weren't."
Her tone seemed sincere but he still wasn't convinced the words were true.
"Do you really mean that? I can't shake the thought that you don't want me to be the father, or at least that you don't want me to believe that I am. Because that way you won't be forced into a co-parenting situation."
He fully expected her to lash out but she just sighed softly.
"Trust me, I would much rather this parasite in my body be part you than part…" She trailed off, shaking her head.
"A nameless nobody that you know nothing about?" Parasite? Really?
"Yeah," she whispered, eyes closed.
Sokka finally saw that it wasn't serenity in her demeanor. No, she was downright depressed. He suddenly wished he could take back his antagonistic remarks. Without really knowing why, he scooted closer to her and put his hand out over her stomach, hovering a couple of inches above it.
"May I?"
She leaned back, pressing her palms into the ground behind her, and shrugged. Her shirt was all bunched up but he could feel the firm swell beneath it, skin stretched tight. How many times had he imagined a scenario like this? The two of them having a child together. A happy family. Not knowing the real truth of the matter burned through his veins, touching every corner of his being. It was a special kind of torture.
"What does it feel like?" he asked, trying to distract himself from those thoughts.
"Constant, inescapable discomfort. It's like I ate way too much, but at the same time, I'm still hungry. And tired. Always so fucking tired."
"Can you…'see' anything yet?"
"A little. Nothing clear, though."
He pulled his hand away and just looked at her. She was barely more than two years from forty, but didn't look it. Her hair was still jet black, pale skin smooth but for some faint lines around the mouth and eyes. As beautiful as she'd ever been, if not more.
"Are you staring at me?" she asked.
"Maybe."
"Yes, my tits got bigger again. Get over it. They're not for you."
Sokka couldn't help but laugh at her deadpan delivery. "For your information, I was looking at your face." He was pleased to see a faint smile turn up one corner of her mouth; she knew he wasn't lying. "Toph..."
"What?"
"I'm...really glad you don't hate me anymore."
Her smile faded and she sighed. "Some part of me thinks it would be better if I did."
"What?" he blurted, hurt. "Why?"
"Because us fighting saved us from a scandal."
He nodded slowly, knowing it was true. While there were plenty of rumors that he was responsible for the pregnancy, it was mostly tabloid garbage. No one seemed to take that theory seriously. He knew how much of a relief it had been for her, a huge weight off her shoulders.
It had been a relief for him, too, but he couldn't deny a twinge of disappointment. If it had all blown up, at least he would've been able to be a real father. But…he knew Toph would never have made it easy for him. "Well...I guess we can still pretend to fight in public if it'll make you feel better," he said, trying to lighten the mood.
"I don't think I'll need to pretend," she retorted with a pitiful half-smile. "I hate it when you tell me what to do."
"I guess that's why people in our position shouldn't have close relationships."
She snorted derisively. "What are you saying? We shouldn't be friends?"
"Probably not," he said with a hollow laugh. "Not that it'll stop me any more than it did before. I'm going to help you with this baby in any way I can. Have you decided how long you'll stay here after the birth?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. Couple months, maybe. We'll see."
"So…uh, have you picked out any names yet?"
She cocked an eyebrow at him, a glimmer of amusement on her face. That was some improvement, at least. "How long you been holding that in?"
"A while," he chuckled.
"Hm. Seems a little soon for that."
"Never too soon to start thinking about it."
Toph just smirked and shook her head lightly. "I was planning on waiting until I got a good kick so I'd know what it is."
"You don't have any ideas? Any preferences?"
"I honestly don't even know where to start."
"How did you choose Lin's name?"
She didn't answer right away, a hesitant frown on her face. "Er...well... Actually, it was from a dream."
Did he detect a trace of self-consciousness? "Really? What was the dream about?" he asked, amused.
"Eh. Nothing specific. Just a kid named Lin."
"I guess it's probably not that unusual to dream about babies when you're expecting one."
"I've dreamed about this one, too," she said in a dry voice. "Mostly frantic nightmares, if I'm being honest. No names yet, though."
"I can help you brainstorm if you want," he offered eagerly.
"Alright, what have you got?"
"Let's see..." he mused, thinking. "What about...Kerak? For a boy."
She gave him a skeptical look. "That sounds awfully Water Tribe-y."
"So?"
"It would look very suspicious."
"I guess so," he said with a sigh. Was worth a try… "Okay... What about Quan?"
"Meh."
"Zhong?"
"Uh…no."
That went on for a while, Toph shooting down every suggestion.
"Spirits, woman," Sokka said with exasperation, though he couldn't help but laugh. "There are only so many names. You're gonna have to pick one."
"What about girl names? Got any of those?"
A warm feeling enveloped him, though he started to feel a little nervous, too. There was a reason he'd started with boy names. "Just one."
She had an expectant look on her face but he stayed quiet long enough for her to say, "What?"
"I'm not sure if you'll like it," he admitted, both eager and reluctant to share it. "It's kind of...sentimental. You already know that I've convinced myself this kid is mine, but the truth is…it doesn't really matter at this point. I'm going to be as much of a father to it as you'll let me." He took a deep breath, knowing this next part would be hard to say. "I decided a long time ago that if I ever had a daughter, I'd want to name her something to honor Suki's memory. So…I came up with the name Suyin."
"Suyin," Toph mused. "Suyin. Hm. Actually, I don't hate it."
"Really?" he asked with a little too much hopefulness, knowing how pathetic he sounded.
"Really. I'll consider it." To her credit, her expression remained kindly neutral.
"Heh... I thought you were going to tease me."
"Spirits, Sokka. Even I have a line I won't cross. I think it's...a nice way to keep her memory alive. And it doesn't surprise me at all that you picked out your future kid's name a long time ago."
He chuckled, nodding. "Yep, there's that jab I was expecting."
"I'm not making fun. It's very 'you'. Not a bad thing. There's a reason I fell for you all those years ago."
It shocked him that she would bring that up, and so casually. "Can I ask you something?" he said abruptly, before he lost the nerve.
"What?"
"Is it– Is it still there? Or did I kill it for good this time?"
Something vaguely resembling a laugh escaped from her, though it was edged with bitterness. "I've accepted my fate, Meathead. I'll never fucking be rid of you. Of that…need. I think it's one of the reasons we've never been able to keep it together. We're too dependent on each other. We dive in too deep and it just…magnifies everything. I know better now."
"Yeah," he said softly. "Me, too." And yet he found himself at peace with her answer, filled with a sense that they were going to be okay. That she would always love him and was learning to live with it, the way he had. "Anyway. We should go. I was sent to collect you for dinner. Katara's probably getting ready to come look for us."
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"Go ahead, Shea," the girl's mother prodded gently. "Tell the nice lady what you saw."
Toph rubbed the small of her back, trying in vain to relieve some of the pressure. Don't think I've ever been unironically described as a 'nice lady' before. Her chair was turned to face the young girl next to her; a sketch artist waited patiently across the interrogation table.
When Shea didn't say anything, Toph pushed herself forward a little. As much as she could, anyway, which wasn't a whole lot. She angled her head down, having learned long ago that some people were off-put by her tendency not to face them during conversations. Normally, she didn't care about making people uncomfortable, but she wanted this girl to talk.
"I've got a kid about your age. Her name is Lin."
There was a slight pause, followed by, "How do you catch bad guys when your belly is so big?"
"Shea!" her father scolded, sounding mortified. "That's rude!"
Toph snorted. "It's fine," she said, waving him off before returning her attention to the girl. "There's more to catching bad guys than just chasing them. Another way is to talk to people and learn things, like right now. Can you tell me what you saw?"
"Um…there were two men in a room. They were talking, but I couldn't hear them." She was fidgeting around in her chair; Lin always did that, too, when she was nervous or unsure about something. "One of them got lifted up into the air like magic. Like he was a rock and someone was bending him. His arms and legs were moving around all weird." Her voice began to shake with fear. "He was making all kinds of noises, like it hurt real bad."
"What about the other man?" Toph prodded. "Could you see much of him?"
There was a brief silence, then Shea's mother said, "She can't see you nodding, honey. You have to say, 'Yes.'"
"Yes."
"What did he look like?" Toph asked.
"He… He was big and strong, like Daddy. He had a long nose and a really mean smile. And his hair slicked back. It came down on his forehead in a point."
"That's good," she said with a nod, pleased. "You've got a good memory. Can you tell me anything else about him? Did he make any motions with his hands?"
"No. He just stood there."
Odd... "Are you sure there wasn't anyone else in the room?"
"I don't think so. It was really small." She paused while Toph chewed her lip in thought. "Um, Miss Police Lady?"
"Yeah?" she said, amused.
"Am I in trouble for sneaking in there?" Her voice came out in a petrified squeak. "I promise I won't ever do it ever again. I don't wanna go to jail!"
Toph laughed, unable to help herself. "You're not in trouble. Actually, you're like a detective, helping us solve cases."
"R-really?"
"Sure. Thanks, Detective Shea. I think we've got enough." She pushed herself to her feet and addressed the girl's parents. "You're all free to go as soon as you sign some paperwork. We'll let you know if we have any more questions."
Once they were gone, she went to the observation room to talk to Nato. During the interview, she'd noticed his heart rate spike; he was excited.
"What's got you all worked up?" she asked.
"Chief…that girl just described Yakone perfectly. And I saw the sketch, which only further convinced me. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think he's our bloodbender."
It was an idea they had floated around before, always discarding because it never added up. Never matched his profile and known MO. Getting this new evidence was…surreal.
A few days later, they were arguing in her office.
"This is infuriating," Toph complained.
"I don't care what you say, Chief," he said firmly. "No way are you hitting the streets on this case."
The way he was speaking royally pissed her off. "Excuse me, Captain? I'm still your Chief!"
"Irrelevant. It's too dangerous. You already know this."
She did. It didn't matter. "Ugh! But I could be so much help! It's not like I'm going to be doing any fighting." The second the words were out of her mouth, she berated herself for sounding like a petulant child.
"You know as well as anyone that anything can happen out there. We gotta take care of you and those triplets you got in there."
"I swear to fuck, Nato!" Toph screamed, slamming her palms on her desk. "If you don't stop with that shit I really am going to suspend you! Fuck! I am so sick of it!"
"I'm sorry."
"No you're fucking not! Jackass. You take any excuse you find to make infuriating comments, even when it's completely irrelevant to the conversation. If that's how you talk to your wife, it's a goddamn miracle you're still married. You have no fucking idea what this is like–" She cut off as her eyes inexplicably welled up with tears, desperately hoping he didn't notice.
"Okay, okay. I really am sorry. I'll stop." The sincerity in his voice told Toph that he had, in fact, noticed.
"I know I can't fucking go out there," she grumbled. "I'm not an idiot. You know I hate being cooped up in here. I hate feeling useless."
"You could still kick anyone's ass, Chief. That's not in question. I just don't want you to take unnecessary risks, especially considering how you had to go on bed rest with Lin. Trust me, none of us want that again. We'd much rather have you here taking care of all the administrative stuff than stuck in bed on Air Temple Island."
"I already told you I'm staying put, no need to lecture me more." With an annoyed shake of her head, she tried to refocus. "Did you have anything else important to tell me, or did you just come in here to see how long it took me to get pissed off?"
"We've still got eyes on the location that kid spotted Yakone in." He seemed more serious now, which was a relief. "It doesn't appear to have any connection to him, though, and the bloodbending victim hasn't been found, dead or alive."
"And the girl and her family? They're being monitored?"
"Yeah. I think they're way too scared to tell anyone what happened. I see no reason why anyone should target them."
Toph leaned back and drummed her fingers on her desk, trying not to get emotional. Again. The thought of that kid, so close in size and shape to Lin, drawing Yakone's attention and suffering the consequences…
"Chief? What's wrong?" Nato asked with concern in his voice.
"Just ignore it," she muttered, wiping her face on her sleeve. "I have no control over these things. Listen, I want to talk some more about your theory. With the new evidence we've gathered since, do you still believe Yakone is the bloodbender?"
"I really do. It makes so much sense." The excitement and eagerness in his voice were clear.
"How? He hates benders."
"Does he, though? Maybe he's just using that ideology to be the most powerful person among the people he controls. And they're none the wiser. It's the perfect setup."
"And…" It was all starting to come together in her mind. "And he deliberately avoided the full moon. Plausible deniability."
"Exactly."
Frankly, the idea of a bender that powerful scared the shit out of Toph. What was stopping him from walking into her office and just…ending her life? And everyone else's? She shuddered, receiving a solid—and quite painful—kick in response.
"Oh, so you've decided to take your toes out from between my ribs, then? Thanks for that. It's so much better when you break them."
"Are you okay?"
"I'll survive. I'm used to it. Lin was the same way."
"I can't imagine where they get that from," he said with a chuckle.
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"This kid's never coming out, is she?" Toph complained, reclining on the couch, her palm pressed against her forehead. "She's just going to stay in here forever out of pure spite."
"She'll come when she's ready," Katara said. "Not every baby is like Lin was, eager to come out early."
Sokka sat down at the other end of the couch and casually began massaging Toph's foot. He had done that a couple of times before but this was the first time they'd had an audience for it. She was about to give him a good kick to show her annoyance but instead let slip a little moan of pleasure when he hit a sore spot.
"Don't say it!" she warned when he laughed, knowing his sense of humor. "I may be the size of a whale, but I can still earthbend your ass into next week."
"Good idea!" Aang said cheerfully. "He can find out if the baby's come yet."
"For the record, I'm only allowing this because my feet are killing me and I'm fucking miserable."
"I can tell," Sokka said. "That's why I decided to risk getting kicked in the face."
"I haven't ruled that out yet."
He just chuckled, clearly unfazed. She was still a little annoyed; it was dangerous for them to act like this around each other. There was no telling what kinds of things the kids might tell their friends at school.
"Uh…just so you guys know," Bumi said from the doorway, "Lin's terrorizing Tenzin again. And Kya's just making it worse."
Katara made an exasperated noise and Toph laughed.
"Toph!" her friend said reproachfully.
"What? He's perfectly capable of defending himself. It's good for them. At least they're entertaining themselves and getting some energy out. And not in here. Anyway, I don't know what you expect me to do about it."
"Well, don't look at me," Bumi said, heading toward the bathroom. "It was fun at first but I think I've had my fill of rocks and mud flying at my face."
"I'll handle it," Aang said, getting up.
Not long after, Katara left too and it was just Toph and Sokka in the room. The foot massage was making her drowsy and she allowed herself to drift off. Getting comfortable enough to actually sleep wasn't easy, so she took the chance whenever she got it.
Eventually, though, a cramp in her lower back pulled her back into consciousness.
"What?" Sokka asked, still sitting there but no longer rubbing her feet.
"Hm?"
"You made a weird noise."
"Did I?" she mumbled sleepily.
"You look like you're in pain."
"Back hurts." Toph ran her hands down her face, groaning. "How long was I asleep?"
"About half an hour, I guess."
"Better than nothing…" She shifted in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure but it only made it spread to her stomach. "Ah…"
"What? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? I'm fucking twelve months pregnant, that's what's wrong." She took a few slow, deep breaths, and soon the pain faded away. "Huh…"
"What?"
"I could be wrong, but…that might have been a contraction."
"Really?!" Sokka blurted, his voice full of excitement.
"I sure fucking hope so."
The good news was that the next few hours proved her theory to be correct. The bad news was Katara's grim prognosis: "It's going to be a while. The contractions are too weak and far apart, and walking around doesn't seem to be making a difference. I'd suggest trying to get some sleep, if you can. You're in for a long night, or possibly a long couple of days."
"Days?!"
"It happens. And I'm serious—try and get some rest."
But Toph was far too anxious to sleep, or even lie down. After dinner, she spent an hour or so pacing outside. Lin followed her around, clearly worried, constantly asking questions until Toph snapped and told her to go to bed.
When morning came, after a miserable and entirely sleepless night, she was fully immobilized from the pain, besides being too exhausted to get out of bed. And yet Katara kept saying she still had a ways to go.
"On the bright side, you're too tired to cause any earthquakes," Sokka said after a particularly lengthy contraction. "I still regret not being around for that last time."
There was a knock on the door before Toph could come up with a retort.
"Sorry to bother you, but Lin's awake," Sora said. "She wants to see you."
"Let her in," Toph muttered, guilty about chasing her off last night.
"Mom?" the small, scared voice said from the door.
"It's alright. C'mere."
"Why hasn't the baby come yet?"
"She's just being stubborn. Typical Beifong, huh?"
"How much longer?"
"I don't know. Hopefully just a few more hours." Spirits, please, let it be over soon…
"Can I stay?"
Toph shook her head weakly. "Sorry, Buttercup. It's a little too intense for you, I think. Just go outside and play with Tenzin until it's over." The truth was, she didn't want Lin to see her like this. To see her screaming in agony. Poor kid had already suffered enough trauma in her short life.
"But–"
"C'mon, honey," Katara said gently. "Just give her a hug and kiss then go outside and wait. I don't allow children in my delivery room. It's nothing personal, you're just not old enough."
In the end, Sokka had to take her. Toph found that his absence made a difference when the pain came—and not a good difference. They might not be 'together' anymore but, in some ways, it felt like they were, just without the physical aspect. Exclusive best friends. It had been a relief, allowing herself to see their relationship that way, especially now that the building sexual tension of the previous years had faded. Mostly.
He came back fifteen minutes later and resumed his post at her side, taking her hand.
"You better not leave again," she mumbled.
"I won't."
Sokka was gone, his solid form no longer behind her on the bed. There was only pain and screaming. Suddenly, there was no bed, either. No Katara. Toph was just floating in a void, her stomach swelling larger and larger. It hurt so fucking bad, the worst pain she'd ever felt. If it got any bigger, it was going to–
The nightmare burst like a bubble and she sat up with a snap, gasping for breath. One hand flew to her stomach. It was very swollen still but it felt...empty. No steady pulse inside, besides her own. But she couldn't remember anything...
"Mom?" Lin said sleepily, lying next to her. A second later, the small body flung itself onto her, arms wrapped around her neck, and Lin began to sob noisily.
"Wha–?" A sudden fear bloomed in Toph's chest, her groggy mind struggling to catch up. "Lin– You're strangling me–" The death grip relaxed the tiniest bit. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Is–" Her voice caught; she couldn't say it. Did I just go through all that misery for fucking nothing? Oh fuck... Fuck... She grabbed Lin's shoulders and pushed her back, trying not to panic. "What happened?"
"Y-you were in here s-so long and sc-screaming," Lin choked out through her tears. "I th-thought you w-were dying."
"That's it?" Toph said breathlessly. "So nothing bad happened?"
Lin inhaled sharply several times and hiccuped. "I was scared." She leaned forward and once more dissolved into tears.
A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door. "Hey, T," Sokka said, coming in. "I heard your voice. How are you feeling?"
"What happened? I don't– I don't remember..." The fear was leveling off but still sticking around.
He sat on the edge of the bed. "I'll tell you later. Everything turned out alright, though. Baby's just fine. Sleeping. You want me to get her?"
Toph's whole body slumped with relief. It's over. Everything's okay. Letting her worry melt away, she considered Sokka's question. Lin was still in the throes of her meltdown and forcibly removing her would probably be...damaging. I've waited nine months. I can wait a few more minutes.
"Let her sleep. I need to eat something first."
"I can make that happen." Before he got up, he put his hand on her leg and gave it a brief squeeze. "Be right back."
After he left, she waited patiently for Lin to calm down, too tired to do anything else. Too tired even to try and make her talk. Eventually, though, Lin went quiet and her back stopped heaving. She said something incoherent, her face still buried in Toph's shirt.
"Can't understand you, Buttercup."
Lin sniffed a few times and sat back a little. "Everything's different now. Everyone wants to see her. Uncle Sokka likes her better than me."
"That's not true," Toph asserted, hoping it wasn't. "He likes you both the same. C'mon, we talked about this. Babies need more attention because they can't do anything themselves. You really want someone following you around everywhere? Making you sit still while they feed you? Going into the bathroom with you? Wiping your ass for you?" She heard something that might have been a laugh. "You're bigger and older, learning how to do things yourself. She's brand new. It's going to be a few years before she catches up."
Lin was quiet for a few seconds.
"I don't think you should have any more babies," she said finally.
Toph barked a laugh, though it made her wince in pain; she was still pretty sore. "I swear to all the Spirits, living and dead, that I will never do that again. Never ever."
"No more sex?"
"Nope."
Of course, Sokka picked that moment to return. "Care to put that in writing?" he asked, clearly holding back laughter.
"Uncle Meathead thinks he's funny," Toph said coolly. "Maybe you should tell him that what I do with my personal life is none of his damn business."
"Uncle Meathead, Mom says–"
"Yep, I heard her just fine. Now why don't you scoot over so she can eat this meal I have so kindly prepared for her?"
Lin moved—though not far—and Toph eagerly dug into the omelet he'd made. She tried to ignore the painful twinge it caused. Memories of him bringing her breakfast in bed. Their most recent affair hadn't included such perks. No, those were the territory of their happy times together.
And now... Now there was a little girl sleeping in another room that might, just maybe, be something they had made together. For all that it would be easier if that weren't the case, Toph desperately wanted it to be true. The alternative was so much worse.
"Mom, slow down, or you're gonna choke," Lin said, snagging a piece for herself.
"I haven't eaten in over a day," Toph said around a mouthful of food. "I'll eat as fast as I want to eat." And as much as she would like to pretend she didn't care…she wanted to meet her baby.
"I should've brought you soup," Sokka muttered.
"But you know better."
"I guess I do."
She swallowed the last bite, licked her fingers, and let out a satisfied belch. "Okay," she said, patting Lin's leg. "I think it's time. Whaddya say, Buttercup? Can she come in?"
Lin sighed dramatically. "I guess."
"You heard the woman," Toph said to Sokka, chuckling.
"Be right back, m'ladies," he replied with exaggerated formality, taking the empty plate.
"Do you want to know her name?" she asked Lin once he'd left again.
"Okay?"
"Suyin."
"Suyin?" There was a thick skepticism in her voice, bordering on disapproval. "Did you make our names rhyme on purpose?"
Toph rolled her eyes. I fucking knew she was going to say that. "It's just a name."
"Can I call her Su?"
"Sure. Why not."
Sokka's footsteps returned shortly, though he was otherwise silent as he approached the bed and placed a bundle in her arms that was much different than Lin had been: quiet and still, and significantly heavier.
Toph felt a sudden prick of irritation that she was probably the last person in the family to get to meet her own daughter, though it was quickly pushed away by a moment of deep serenity. Truly, she had not wanted this and had spent many sleepless nights cursing the universe and the Spirits. But…there was nothing else in the world like first contact. That delicate scent. Soft, sleepy noises. A brand new person that she'd made herself. It was a little overwhelming, but in a good way.
"I honestly thought she'd be bigger," Sokka said, "considering how huge you were. But Katara said she's only just above average weight."
But Toph was barely listening, too busy running her fingers over the small face. Unfortunately, nothing she felt gave any hints one way or another. "What does she look like? Can she see?"
"Yeah, we're pretty sure she can. She's got a few tufts of black hair and I caught a glimpse of green eyes during the few minutes she's been awake for. She's a sleepy thing. I think she's not quite as pale as you two but she's still a bit ruddy, so it's hard to tell."
"I don't have a clue what that means." She knew Sokka was darker-skinned, but what about Satoru? It hadn't ever come up, so there was really no telling. And she wasn't about to ask.
"Mom says her name is Suyin," Lin said.
Sokka chuckled, mostly likely grinning from ear to ear. "I know."
"She told you already?"
"Yep."
"I'm going to call her Su."
"Hey, where is everyone?" Toph asked suddenly. "Why is it so quiet? It's never this quiet here."
"Katara's taking a nap," Sokka said. "All of the healing sessions really took a lot out of her. She made everyone else go outside and far away from the house."
"Except me," Lin added helpfully.
"Yes, except for Miss Temper Tantrum, who had a little bit of a meltdown."
"I hope you're over that," Toph said. "Only one kid is allowed to cry at a time, and your sister is going to spend a lot of time doing that."
"She's actually been pretty quiet so far," Sokka said. "She a heavy sleeper, even came out sleeping. Didn't cry at all, at first. Scared the crap out of me."
Toph was dying to know what had happened but didn't want him to talk about the ordeal in front of Lin. And it wasn't the only thing she wanted to ask Sokka privately. It would have to wait, though, because Katara's door has just opened.
"Oh, good, you're awake," she said a few seconds later. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Toph replied, shrugging. "Just a little sore."
"Have you eaten?"
"Yeah. Sokka has been very attentive."
"Oh, you have no idea," Katara said with a light laugh, making Toph wonder if she suspected the truth. Or the potential truth, at least, unlikely as it was. "I guess I'll go tell everyone they're not banished from the house anymore. Unless you want to sleep more?"
"I probably will in a little while, after Sokka makes me some more food, but they can come back."
Katara left and the three—no, four —of them had a few minutes of peaceful silence.
Fuck, I've got two kids. It's real now. Fuck. Toph returned her attention to the child in her arms. Well, kid... Here we are. Welcome to the world, I guess. You probably noticed this already, but you've come into a big, crazy family. Your life probably won't be easy or simple…but you've got a lot of people to love you. So I guess that's good.
"Why is no one talking?" Lin asked.
Toph smirked. "I can't speak for Uncle Sokka, but I'm dead tired. Talking takes a lot of effort."
"I'm pretty tired, too," he said with a short laugh. "I haven't slept in two days."
"Oh, boo-hoo. Must have been so hard for you to sit there and watch me give birth." But she gave him a crooked smile so he'd know she was just shit-talking.
"Harder than I thought it would be," he muttered under his breath, making her even more curious.
"I'm tired, too," Lin said. "I barely slept at all last night."
"Get used to it," Toph retorted. "Unless you plan on bunking with Tenzin."
"No, I wanna sleep with you!" She fiercely latched onto her mother's arm, jostling it.
"Hey, careful! You can't be rough around her!" But even with the movement and raised voice, Suyin continued to sleep peacefully. And thank fuck for that. We don't need another light sleeper in the Beifong household.
"I didn't mean to…" There were tears in her voice, which was odd. It had been a long time since she'd reacted so strongly to such a mild scolding.
"I'm still hungry, Meathead. I think I'm ready for round two," Toph said, wanting to get rid of Sokka for a few minutes to talk to Lin.
"Okay. Be right back."
He left and she shifted her legs around to make a little nest with the blankets to lay Suyin on.
"So what do you think of her?" she asked Lin.
"I dunno… She's all wrinkly, like an old lady."
Toph snorted. "So were you, for a few days. You got cute soon enough. At least, that's what everyone else said."
Lin sighed. "Sometimes…"
"Sometimes what?"
"Sometimes…I get sad that you can't see me."
Toph blinked in surprise; she hadn't been expecting that at all. Lin had never made comments like that about her blindness. She'd always just accepted it. "I can see you, just in a different way."
"But…when we train, when we practice with the blindfold, and I try to see with earthbending...it's so different. It's not as good as seeing with my eyes."
"You'll have to practice for many more years before you can see clearly with earthbending."
"How long did it take you?"
"It's different for me," she said, shaking her head; it wasn't the first time Lin had complained about how hard it was to learn seismic sense. And now Toph would have even less time to teach the skill. "I've never been able to see with my eyes, so it was easier for me to learn to see with earthbending. That's why I make you wear the blindfold when we train."
"Can you use earthbending to see my face? Like when I smile or frown?"
"I don't need to. I can hear it in your voice."
Lin was quiet for a second, though she sighed softly again. "I still wish you could see me…"
Toph put her hand on Lin's face, pulling up the corners of her mouth with her fingers. But Lin smiled on her own after a moment.
"I can see you just fine, Buttercup."
Sokka found Toph wandering around outside later that evening. "T? What are you doing out here? Thought you were going to sleep some more."
"I tried. Just too restless. Tired of being in bed for so long. I'm glad you found me, though. I've been wanting to talk to you. Privately." She paused in her ambling to let him catch up.
"Right. I guess you want to know what happened."
"Well... Yes, among other things." She shook her head slowly, trying to piece the hazy memories together. "I guess I must've passed out at some point?"
"Yeah." He sighed softly as they paced through the yard. "It was…awful. Just fucking awful. I haven't been that scared in a long time. You went limp and we couldn't wake you up. I'm not– not entirely sure what Katara did, but I think she had to cut you pretty bad to pull Suyin out. There was…so much fucking blood. Looked like a murder scene."
He paused and took a couple of breaths. "She didn't cry at first. Mellir was holding her while Katara healed you. Thumping her back, trying to get her to cry. I couldn't do anything but sit there and watch helplessly. And you were so pale. You looked like a corpse. Barely breathing."
It wasn't really a surprise—considering how everyone had acted—but Toph still felt her breath catch in her chest. She had been far too close to waking up to a dead child. Or not waking up at all. "Well. Fuck. Glad I wasn't around for any of that."
"I'd rather fight in another war than have to go through it again. I really thought you were both going to die. I could see how scared Katara was. She's usually so calm and collected in those situations, but she was crying."
Toph could hear the strain in his voice. The held-back emotion. She knew the feeling well. "It's over. Everything worked out. No sense dwelling on it."
"It's not something I'll easily forget. But…I will say this: Getting to hold her for the first time was… Heh. It was something else. Made it all seem worth it. Those few minutes of certainty before Katara crushed my dreams..." He chuckled softly and Toph cocked an eyebrow. "I was so fucking sure," he continued. "I was just waiting for her to say something, give me that knowing look. But instead, she mentioned how much Suyin looks like you and I realized I was just seeing what I wanted to see."
"Too bad," Toph murmured, disappointed. "I was really hoping for some confirmation one way or another."
"Hopefully we'll get it one day."