Maybe It's Better This Way

---
Hope you enjoy this. LOVING your reviews thank you!

---

Chapter Two: Three Minutes

It was two thirty and Kirsten and her father were busy negotiating a deal with two important executives. As she stood up to pass development plans to the clients, Kirsten felt a rush of dizziness and clutched at the boardroom table. Caleb, glancing up from the paperwork, noticed her falter and reached out an arm. 'You alright there Kiki?' he asked worriedly.

'Yes…yes,' she said breathlessly, 'just got up too fast.' Kirsten gave a nervous laugh and sat back down. The meeting continued but Kirsten could hardly concentrate; the pungent smell of the polish from the shining mahogany table, a scent she'd never registered before, had made the sickness from the morning return and it was all she could do to control it. She breathed slowly and let the conversation wash over her. She didn't notice her father calling her name until his tone became sharp, 'Kiki, do you have those figures or not?' Mutely she rifled through her papers and handed him the spreadsheet. She needed to get a grip, ten minutes to go and then it would all be over.

Kirsten struggled through the rest of the meeting, trying not to muddle the statistics of their latest development but knowing she was only vaguely coherent.

Once the executives had been shown out by the secretary, Caleb turned to his daughter. 'What the hell was wrong with you back there Kiki?' her father's concerned act had vanished, 'You hardly said a word, were you even listening? They're important clients; I don't know what you were thinking…'

Caleb trailed off as Kirsten fled to the adjoining bathroom. He heard the sound of retching and then running water. Kirsten appeared a moment later looking blanched and tired. 'Yeah dad? What were you saying?'

Her father looked slightly shamefaced, 'I didn't realise you were sick.'

Still couldn't manage an apology, thought Kirsten, 'I'm fine,' she told him trying to make her stomach listen to her.

'Well you don't look it. Take the rest of the day off.'

Rest of the day? It was almost three thirty. She may as well finish the day now.

Kirsten began to protest but Caleb ignored her, resting a consoling hand on her shoulder for a minute before striding off. 'Afternoon off,' he called as he left, 'that means you are not to take those files home; we have the Waterman conference next week and can hopefully wind up that deal, don't want you sick then.'

She frowned and sighed, it seemed like she was losing to everyone today, next thing she knew she'd be giving in to Seth.

-----

Kirsten didn't go straight home after leaving the office. She sat in the car until the nausea subsided and then drove a couple of miles out of town to buy a pregnancy test. Newport wasn't exactly the best place to keep a secret.

It would be negative, she thought, it had to be. But she just had to check.

---

She hated the fact you had to ask for tests over the counter and the way other customers pretended not to be watching, hated how the cashier took forever, dragging out the embarrassing process. She shouldn't be embarrassed; this wasn't like the other time.

Times.

She wasn't the young girl scared someone would recognise her, positive the woman behind the till was judging her, terrified that this could be even happening.
She wasn't the young girl, a little older, feeling exactly the same, wondering how this could be happening again.

She was Kirsten Cohen, married and successful.

It didn't make her feel less conspicuous.

She was almost forty, she had two teenage boys and a high-pressure job.

Stood in the chemists trying to be nameless and faceless Kirsten felt very insecure.

---

Back home she listened to her messages, tidied the pool-house, (which was particularly unnecessary in light of Ryan's neatness) re-folded a pile of laundry left by Rosa, dusted the photographs in the family room and watered the flowers on the table; anything to put off taking the test.

Three minutes later she was sat on the side of the bath looking at it.

Negative.

She'd known it would be but she couldn't help feeling a slight disappointment alongside her relief. She shook her head; she was being silly. She stood up, stuffed the test into the trash and hid the box containing the second test at the back of a drawer.

She felt fine now; she needn't have bothered taking it. It was simply the virus that was going round, that was all.

-----

Sandy drew up outside the house, pressing speed-dial two on his cell as he skipped up the steps. Kirsten answered and he cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he unlocked the door. 'Honey where are you?' he asked anxiously, not waiting for an answer before continuing; 'I rang work and they said you'd left, but you didn't pick up at home and I had to go back into court before I could try your cell. Are you ok?'

'I'm fine,' she told him, smiling at his concern. She heard the front door open and froze, 'Where are you?' she asked breathlessly.

'I'm at home, just walked in, more importantly where are you?' Sandy replied impatiently.

Kirsten sighed in relief, moving to the kitchen doorway where she could see Sandy striding into the lounge loosening his tie, 'I'm in the kitchen sweetie,' she said, her voice full of laughter.

Sandy swung round, a look of complete shock on his face. 'I'm going to hang up now,' he told her shamefaced.

'So court let out early huh?' she asked once he'd joined her in the kitchen. He nodded shrugging off his jacket. Kirsten reached up to undo his top button and he ran his hand down the side of her face. 'How're you feeling now gorgeous?'

She shivered at the tender gesture and leaned in towards her husband. 'Much better.'

'Not sick?'

She shook her head.

'Not headachy?'

'No.'

'Not tired,'

'Not at all,' she murmured running her hands through his wild hair.

'Well in that case…' he said, scooping her up and setting her on the counter-top. Kirsten giggled and grabbed his tie to pull him towards her. Sandy didn't resist and tilted his head towards hers as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their lips met and they lost themselves in the kiss, not hearing the front door open or the boys traipsing down the hall. Seth appeared in the doorway and gave a cry of horror.

'Hey-er…EW! Oh God, oh God, oh God!'

His parents broke apart abruptly and a blushing Kirsten slid off the kitchen surface. Seth had his eyes closed and was breathing heavily, 'Okay, calm, take deep breaths. D-e-e-p breaths. It's ok, it's all gonna be ok.' Ryan hit him on the arm and turned to his foster parents, 'We're going out…to the pier and the Bait Shop, we'll be back around eight.'

'Make it ten,' a sheepish Sandy told them, extracting some change from his pocket.

Seth grimaced but grabbed the money; 'Thanks dad, but you needn't be that obvious!'

Kirsten flushed again, 'Take your phones,' she called after them.

'Yeah, yeah,' she heard Ryan's voice floating back down the hallway, 'like you'll be calling us!'

Sandy chuckled but noticing his wife's face, tried to stifle it. 'Oh come on honey, you've got to admit that was funny.' He snaked his arms back around her waist and began to place kisses on her neck. Kirsten smiled and arched into him. 'I love you, you know.'

'I know,' he said, flashing her his cocky-boy grin. 'I love you too.' She turned in his arms to meet his lips and locked her arms around his neck.

'You know what?' he teased, fielding her attempts to kiss him.

'What?' she asked as their noses brushed together.

'I love you just as much without your shirt!'

'Sanford Cohen!' Kirsten shrieked.

'What?' he asked, his voice low and rumbling in his chest 'You know it's true.'

'Well in that case…ditto.'

Needless to say, the shirts didn't last long.

-----

The next morning Kirsten reached out to find Sandy's side of the bed empty. She couldn't complain; she'd spent the entire night (plus most of the preceding evening) in her husband's arms and after surfing he'd come back upstairs and wake her with a kiss.

If the sickness hadn't woken her first. She rolled over but it didn't subside, damn, she thought she'd kicked this thing.

Suddenly another thought hit her. Crawling out of bed she rummaged in her top drawer, drew out the pregnancy test and read the printed information on the back of the box.

For most accurate results, take test on a morning when pregnancy hormones are most concentrated. Tests done later may display a false negative.

False negative

No. She was taking this too far. But before she could argue any further she was forced to rush for the bathroom.

When the bout was over she leant back against the bathtub and fidgeted with the box. Why was she thinking like this? It wasn't going to happen. Did she even really want it to?

Secretly she guessed she did. They'd never planned to only have Seth, it just ended up that way. First her mother had gotten sick and between dealing with her grief, Hailey and Seth there didn't seem to be the time. After that she'd always been working and they'd let it go, now they had Ryan; their family was complete.

At least that's the story she liked to believe, what Sandy believed. He had no idea what could have been.

Kirsten stopped herself. She wasn't thinking about this right now.

She knew that given the chance to have another child she wouldn't say no, not this time.
She was older and wiser now.
A lot older, she reflected, but not a hell of a lot wiser.

Taking a deep breath and trying to stop her hands shaking, she took the test, setting it on the basin while she waited. However, before the three minutes were up she was back on her knees in front of the toilet, which is why she didn't hear her husband's arrival. Morning sickness (if that's what it was) had been a bitch with Seth; it looked like some things didn't change in seventeen years.

-----

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That review button is begging you. Look at it's cute little face, the wee smile, the button nose…how can you resist?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------