Maybe It's Better This Way
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I've been nice and posted up two chapters of this because I feel bad posting the beginning and then being away for 3 weeks.
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Chapter 3: Eight Weeks
Sandy was surprised to hear Kirsten up when he returned from surfing. On weekends, the knowledge his wife would still be asleep usually tempted him back to bed afterwards. If last night was anything to go by, she was feeling a lot better.
That's why it was bit of shock to hear gagging coming from their bathroom. He hurried up the stairs two at a time, to find Kirsten doubled over the toilet. A moment later he was sat behind her, sweeping her hair up and running a comforting hand down her back.
'You're going to the doctors, no argument.'
Kirsten didn't reply, simply flushing the toilet before settling back against her husband. Sandy brushed the hair away from her damp forehead, shifting so he could reach the flannel on the basin. As he did so he caught sight of the pregnancy test next to it. He froze and blinked before turning to look at his wife. 'Kirsten…are you…?'
She swallowed, 'I…I'm not sure. It just occurred to me as a possibility yesterday but I took one yesterday and it was negative but then I realised it might be wrong because I took it yesterday afternoon so I did it again this morning but I haven't had chance to look at it yet so I don't know whether I am or not…' Kirsten's voice faded as she ran out of breath. She insisted rambling was a Cohen trait but Sandy figured Seth's particular gift must have had some help from her side of the family too.
Sandy put his arms around her. 'It's okay sweetheart. Calm down!' He waited for her breathing to slow a little. 'Now, shall we take a look?'
She eyed him anxiously, finally nodding. He relaxed his embrace and she moved to pick up the test, not looking at it till she was safely in her husband's arms again.
Positive.
Positive.
Positive.
She couldn't stare at the pink line long enough. It was almost too hard to comprehend.
Pregnant.
She was pregnant again, with their second child. Third, to count Ryan.
Pregnant for the third time.
Kirsten's expression changed as she became lost in thought.
Third time. Fourth child.
He or she would have been one of four. They would have been a family of six.
If…
If she hadn't…
But then again…
It might not have…
Things would have…
She couldn't have then.
And now? Could she now? Part of her screamed no. All the fears, the insecurities and the pain flooded to the surface.
But part of her, admittedly the smaller part at first, said yes, whispered it and despite the rising fear and nausea there was a pique of excitement.
Sandy shook her arm gently, 'You alright babe?'
'It's just…a shock I guess,' she said, her eyes coming back into focus.
He watched her face closely, 'You sure you're okay? You want this right?'
She smiled at him, seeing the grin he was trying to hide and the excitement making his blue eyes twinkle. She couldn't have said otherwise, even if she'd wanted to. As it was, letting go was not something she would ever contemplate again. She nodded and he pulled her close, 'I love you,' he said leaning in to kiss her.
Kirsten drew back; 'We're not kissing right now however much you love me, it is far too gross, I need to brush my teeth!'
Sandy laughed, 'Good point,' and let her go.
'I think I might take a shower,' she told him once she was done,
'Is that a hint to leave or an invitation?' he enquired.
Kirsten flashed him a smile as she slid under the spray, 'Take a wild guess.'
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It was almost lunchtime by the time Sandy and Kirsten finally wandered downstairs to find Ryan sat at the kitchen island. 'We do have bowls Ryan!' Kirsten teased as he slid his hand guiltily out of the cereal packet. Ryan looked sheepish and reached for a bowl. A moment later Seth stumbled into the kitchen, one arm shielding his eyes, the other outstretched to help him keep his balance. 'Come on son, it's not that bright in here,' Sandy joked from where he was leaning against the countertop, one arm around Kirsten. 'That is not the reason,' Seth told him expressively, 'Ry, is it ok to look? Please tell me they're a safe distance from each other!'
His brother rolled his eyes and shot him a 'look'.
'He just gave me a look didn't he?' Seth questioned, peeping through his fingers, 'How am supposed to gain the relevant and vital information if I can't see it? Whoa mom you're in dangerously close proximity to dad, move away ok, m-o-v-e away!' Sandy glared at his son but Kirsten ignored the comment, 'I'm gonna go make that call honey,' she murmured, inclining her head to kiss her husband. Seth groaned and pretended to collapse against the refrigerator, 'Aw sweetie, I love you too,' she said catching hold of him and bestowing a kiss on his reluctant cheek, 'M-o-m,' he cried, pulling away. She laughed and walked out, ruffling a hand through Ryan's hair as she passed.
'Is mom ok?' Seth asked once she'd gone out to call the doctors.
'She hasn't been feeling too good the past few days,' Ryan chipped in causing Sandy to glance at him. That kid was definitely observant, and intuitive.
'I was referring more to the excessive display of affection we witnessed this morning,' his other son announced, grabbing a bagel from the basket.
Chalk and cheese thought Sandy, chalk and cheese.
'But she's been tired and sort of…distracted, is she ok?'
'Granddad's probably being a bitch at work,'
Sandy knew he should probably reprimand Seth for talking about Caleb like that but couldn't find a reason to. He grinned, 'Don't let your mother hear you say that,' he told them, 'as for Kirsten, everything's fine so don't worry.'
Kirsten breezed back in, 'One-thirty,' she mouthed at Sandy from behind the boys' backs.
'Your mother and I are just popping out for while,' he said, helping Kirsten into her jacket, 'we'll see you later.'
The two boys nodded and then ducked as Kirsten tried to repeat her kissing tactic.
Seth glanced across at Ryan, 'Something is definitely up,' he declared.
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'What are we going to tell the boys?' Kirsten said anxiously.
'Well I think despite Seth's firm belief in it, they're really too old for the stork story!' Sandy quipped, laughing as his wife stuck her tongue out at him.
'Fine, how are we going to tell them? When?'
They were wandering down a mostly deserted beach having just had Kirsten's pregnancy confirmed. Every so often Sandy's hand would drift across her stomach and his smile grew, if possible, a little wider.
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'Congratulations. Kirsten, you're approximately eight weeks pregnant.'
Eight weeks. Eight weeks? That was crazy. She hadn't thought it would be that much. It surprised her she hadn't realised, suspected something earlier; with Seth she'd known almost at once. But that was seventeen years ago, she reminded herself. These days she was busy, stressed, she didn't have the time to keep track and it wasn't exactly something she thought about. But still, she felt a little guilty; eight weeks was a long time.
Eight weeks. Only another thirty-one to go, Sandy thought, already fast-forwarding ahead. Or less if this baby was anything like Seth.
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'When?' he asked, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her forehead, 'I think soon,'
'I just…don't want to jinx it Sandy,'
'They know something's going on though. Ryan will guess soon I'm sure; he has the senses of a cat. How about we tell them, just them and make sure they keep it quiet?'
'Seth is going to go crazy,' Kirsten muttered, nodding at his suggestion.
'You bet,' laughed Sandy, 'tangible proof of every teenager's nightmare!'
She giggled at that. 'He's going to say we're too old isn't he?'
'Probably,' Sandy agreed. He watched as the thought flashed across her features before she spoke. 'We're not are we?'
'No way beautiful. We're not too old. Hey, we're not even old! We can do this, you can do this. You're a wonderful mother.'
Kirsten looked sceptical. 'I'm not that great; I made Seth live here when he hates it, I'm never home enough, I'm always at the office, I tried to make up for it by giving him things, turned into one of those mothers and still he wasn't happy. Before Ryan came he hated me, we didn't have a relationship and now I don't want him to think I don't love him.'
'Honey, honey stop,' Sandy insisted, 'He knows you love him. You're there when they need you. I admit you do get wrapped up in work but you're a good mother ok?'
'You're a better father,'
'I just have a gift,' he teased.
'I'm worried about Ryan,' she said suddenly. 'He's just got settled again, I hate to be the one to mess things up.'
'I understand what you mean but you're being silly,' her husband told her, 'you can't blame yourself and anyway there's no need to.'
Kirsten nodded, 'I just don't want him to feel unwanted.'
'I know, but we'll work it out okay? I promise. We'll talk to him, let him know he's part of this family now and there's no getting out, force him to understand if we have to.'
They continued walking and deciding the best way to break the news to their sons until the sound of Sandy's cell phone interrupted them.
'Where are you guys?' Seth's voice filtered out as he answered, 'You've been gone hours. You insist Ryan and I have our phones on 24/7, ground us if we miss curfew by, like, 3 seconds, and only just restrain yourselves from getting us electronically tagged…'
'Seth,' his father tried to interrupt the tirade,
'And you two! Disappearing off this morning, not so much as a whisper of where you were going, not answering your phones, it's hypocrisy, that's what it is!'
Kirsten tugged at her husband's arm, 'Let me talk to him.'
'The Kirsten wants a word,' he said handing her the phone.
'Seth honey, are you okay?'
'Yeah mom, we're fine. Apart from the fact we're starving to death here, Ryan won't let me order until he knows if you want anything.'
'Well tell him not to bother, we'll be home in half an hour and then we'll make dinner.'
'I hope by that 'we' you mean dad,' Seth said bluntly.
Kirsten glared at the phone and passed it back to Sandy who was laughing, 'You've got to stop ragging your mother about her cooking,'
'Aw dad, what's the fun in that?' his son whined.
'I know but I did so you have to! Fire up the grill, set the table, pick a movie and we'll have a family night in. See you soon,' he rambled quickly before Seth could argue.
'Uh-oh,' Sandy heard him say to Ryan before he hung up, 'Dad's threatening a full-scale casa-Cohen evening. What d'you reckon's going on?'
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OK I just want to reassure those of you who might be really turned off by the fact that Kirsten IS actually pregnant. This won't be an endless fic detailing every minute of her pregnancy and bla bla bla and it's also not just about how Seth and Ryan cope with the news (although of course that comes into it!) there is more to this than meets the eye (I hope anyway. Not wanting to sound immodest!) so please stick with it if you can!
I'm promising…and will provide tens of thousands of words worth of Rebecca and Carter free Kandy! All I ask in return is a review now and then…do we have a deal?
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