Disclaimer: I don't own CCS
ChiChi's Note: Okay, so I didn't update so well lately, but I'm making up for it now. I stayed up late again to make you this, uh…. Creatively-challenged chapter. Yeah……. Okay, thank you for reviewing my last chapters so enjoy!
Realization
There was silence bound the people in the room. All that was heard throughout the house was the uneven ticking of an old grandfather clock placed at the wall across from the fireplace and the pounding of rain against the old mansion. Tama stared at her surroundings. She felt somewhat frustrated by this entire situation. All she remembered before Syaoran barged in was being in her cabin with Hiiragizawa earlier and her fainting again. She had no idea how he brought her to the mansion without drawing so much attention. She looked over at Syaoran and smiled, "How did you find us Syaoran?"
Syaoran's eyes rested uncomfortably on Hiiragizawa, "I… this was the last place that I could think of. Sakura and I have been looking for you for two days straight."
"I apologize for the inconvenience this has set upon you Mister Li," Hiiragizawa bowed politely, "We came here in search of something of Miss Tama's. She came close to finding it… but she became too distracted to look for it I suppose. If there is anything I could do-"
"Tama, get away from him," Syaoran demanded calmly, now staring Hiiragizawa in the eye with great intensity, "It's dangerous."
Tama gave him an inquisitive look, but he gave no attention to her. Syaoran muttered something in Chinese and glared at Hiiragizawa. The boy only smiled in reply then turned to Tama, "I suggest that you leave; you would not be able to understand our conversation."
She began to nod but then noticed something strange about his expression. He smiled cheerfully at her, but it was unconvincing. His eyes gave it all away. They were sad… why were they always sad? His deep blue eyes were just barely glazed with held back tears and did not curve into a crescent moon shape like eyes usually do when a person is smiling joyfully. His smile faded into a neutral expression as if he realized that she saw right through him. Tama stared down at the ground and closed her eyes. "You're making me sad again," she whispered so quietly so that Syaoran wouldn't hear.
"It's not as easy for me as it is for you," he replied taking hold of her hand, "I can't just say, 'my happiness is your happiness' and be satisfied."
He lifted her hand and placed a gentle kiss on it, "Farewell my dear Tomoyo."
Her eyes widened but the felt an abrupt jerk on her arm. She turned her head to see Syaoran clutching onto her wrist, "Tama you have to leave now."
He dragged her against her will to the door. Tama looked back desperately at Hiiragizawa and tried to fight back against Syaoran's strength. "Hiiragizawa, why do you call me by her name? Do you know my true past? What are you hiding from me?" she demanded.
Syaoran opened the door and pushed her out onto the porch, "Tama run home as fast as you can and don't stop until you're inside your cabin. Just trust me."
She opened her mouth to protest, but stopped. She only caught a glimpse of him before he shut the door. There was a small click telling her that the door had been locked. Though she did not enjoy being told what to do, she knew that she had to listen this time. Syaoran was serious. He did not wear the same look that he had whenever he was near Sakura. He seemed serious but also scared. She stood on the porch for a few more minutes. The rain dripped randomly off of the roof covering the length of the porch, hitting Tama a couple of times. After the door had closed, she no longer heard voices coming from inside; she didn't even hear any type of movement. She was quickly reminded of Syaoran's demand and turned the other way to run. She slipped through the gate and began to run through the unfamiliar part of town. As she ran, she tried to understand what had just happened. Tomoyo. Why did that name always seem to be connected to her? Was it perhaps her name before she lost her memory? She pushed her wet bangs out of her face and pondered over the chances of her being the girl who had come to this town with Eriol Hiiragizawa. She coughed as her lungs began to ache from panting. The legs in her muscles began to burn but she kept going. The dryness in her throat made it feel and actually taste like it was bleeding from overusing it. She was too tired. No sleep; no food. What kind of energy could she have possibly preserved from all of this? She was amazed that she even made it up to the known part of town. She unwillingly gave in to her body's will and fell to her knees. Her palms fell flat against the ground and she hung her head trying to catch her breath.
It was raining hard and a young girl ran furiously through it, completely drenched. She couldn't believe that she got caught in the rain again. She needed to get to her house before she could get sick. She was never good at running but it was important that she got home. There would be no one home to take care of her if she indeed got sick. 'Why did mother have to go to America this month?' she complained to herself. She knew that her house was too far of a distance to run even from where she was. She began crying and leaned against the stonewall that guarded a rather beautiful mansion. She was completely soaked and helpless. 'No one will come look for me for at least another day. I gave my bodyguards the day off as well as my servants.' She paused then looked up realizing that there were no more raindrops falling on her. A boy stood there with an umbrella smiling at her, "I thought I recognized you."
He extended his hand to her, "We're right in front of my house so you can stay there as long as you like and dry up."
She smiled back gratefully and took hold of his hand, "Thank you Eriol."
Tama's breathing slowed down, 'Another memory.' She pulled herself up to her feet and stared up at the sky, 'Give me strength to make it home.' She forced her legs to continue moving and went as fast as she could down the road. She could see the field that she had to cross and she'd be home. Two figures rushed past her making her shiver from the wind pushed into her direction. A boy and girl ran in the same direction as her. The boy was ahead of the girl pulling her forward by the hand, "It's just a little bit further. We'll be all alone there," the boy shouted over his shoulder.
"Where are you taking me?" the girl giggled.
"You'll see."
The two ran off into the field and as soon as they did, Tama realized that they were heading towards her cabin. She gasped and ran faster, "Oh no! They're going to destroy all my stuff!"
After running a very long distance, Tama stopped a few feet away from her cabin and saw the two on her porch. The boy leaned against the post while the girl sat on the step staring up at the sky, "Are you done with it yet?"
Tama stared at the boy who was fiddling with a silver object in his hands. He looked up and gave her an apologetic voice. His eyes fell onto Tama's form which made him smirk. Tama frowned and took a step towards them. The boy quickly took the girl's hand and ran into the forest. Tama went to follow them but the haunting feeling of the forest kept her far away. She ran back to her cabin and pushed the door open. She took one last look at the forest then entered the cabin.
Tama sat her window sipping her hot chocolate. She was starting to get sick of the dull taste in her mouth. She looked at her cup and sighed, 'I can't really buy anything else that would give off energy so easily with the money that this village is supplying me with.' The sky had cleared up and she was yet to see the two that had come to her cabin earlier leave the forest. She frowned at the large gathering of trees, "They don't look so scary. Why am I afraid of them?"
Spinel hopped onto her lap and mewed. She smiled at the cat and scratched behind his ear, "There are people already in there so I should be fine, right Spinel?"
The cat stared up at her with his blue eyes then got off her lap to let her up. Tama grabbed her sweater and left. She jumped off her porch, skipping the steps, and walked down the path into the forest. She still had an uneasy feeling walking into the forest but did not turn back. She could see the light from clearing up ahead and heard two voices. Her pace quickened until she reached the clearing for the first time. The area was mainly a large rock wall and a large void surrounded by a circle of trees. She turned her head to the side and saw the two sitting on the ground. The girl stared at the boy as he worked on the same silver object that she saw him with earlier. He looked up at the girl and the girl quickly smiled and turned away. He laughed and went back to what he was doing. Tama observed their faces for the first time. She gasped as she recognized them. They looked like younger versions of her and Hiiragizawa. The two looked as if they were both fourteen. Tama stared at her younger mirrored image again. She remembered that she was wearing the same dress when she woke up in the forest. Hiiragizawa's counterpart looked up at the cliff the smiled. He took her hand and placed the silver object in her hand then placed a kiss on her neck. Tama's equivalent bit down on her lip nervously. He lowered his head to her ear and whispered something. She stared at him as he began to climb up the cliff, "Be careful. I'm the only other person here so I can't help you if you hurt yourself so be careful!"
"This will only take a couple of minutes then we'll go back home," he yelled down at her.
He reached the top and leaned over the edge waiting for her to say something. The girl opened her hand and looked down at the silver necklace identical to Tama's, "I'm going to put this in the cabin back there so that I don't forget it."
"Just put it on here," he shouted beginning to draw on the wall.
"No way, what you're doing is ultimately cheesy and dangerous. I'd rather forget this moment," she teased, "Plus I want you to put it on for me. I'll come back right away, be careful."
He laughed, "Suit yourself."
She giggled and ran back into the trees. 'So that's how the necklace got into my cabin,' Tama thought. She looked up at Hiiragizawa who was now drawing a very familiar design. She watched as he creatively dragged the piece of charcoal in little swirls to create what appeared to be a wing. The boy lost balance and clung to the wall. "Be careful!" a voice shouted from behind her.
The girl had already come back and was staring up at the boy. "You do realize that you called him 'Hiiragizawa' again," she stated without turning her head to Tama.
Tama tilted her head in confusion. "When his cousin came into the room," she reminded, "You forgot again. It's sad to forget your favorite memories."
"H-how did you know what happened in the mansion?" Tama asked.
"I live there silly," she giggled taking a step back trying to get a better view of him, "You don't remember that part either? No matter you'll remember very soon."
She took another step back, "Be careful!"
"You've already said that five times my dear," the boy turned and stepped to the side revealing a beautiful drawing on the cliff wall.
Tama now recognized the drawing tugged anxiously at her necklace. "It's beautiful, thank you!" the girl shouted then finally turned her head to Tama and smiled, "I loved his theory about black butterflies. He said-"
"It attracts people's attention and when it's with the other butterflies, it can't fit in because it's so unusual to them all," Tama answered almost unconsciously.
"See, you're starting to remember again."
"Hold on, I just have to finish up the bottom wing and I'll come down!" he returned to drawing.
She smiled as she watched him, "If you do not wish to remember your tragic past, I suggest you leave, but if you do… Hiiragizawa, as you call him, will vanish and you'll have no hope of remembering your past ever again.
"My past was that bad?" Tama asked, "No, this cannot be my past. My mind is just making things up because I want to remember. Instead remembering my past, I'm just thinking up possibilities. Hiiragizawa is a real person who just happens to have Eriol's last name. Eriol Hiiragizawa is dead, Sakura told me."
The girl smiled at Tama as the sound of rocks tumbling interrupted them. She turned her head and looked up, "You're kicking rocks off the edge."
"But I'm not moving my feet," he responded.
The girl remained silent for a few seconds, "Do you remember what happens after this?"
Tama searched through every one of her "fake" memories but didn't remember… the dream at the beginning of the week! "Get off the cliff now!" Tama shrieked.
"What?" he glimpsed down at the two.
"I said get off the cliff!" she screamed.
What she feared to remember came true. She watched as the body fall to the ground. The girl's eyes were closed tightly as he hit the ground. "Oh God, you have to help him!" Tama panicked, "Hey are you listening to me?"
She waved her hand in front of the girl but now it seemed as if the girl was unaware that Tama was still there. Tama ran her fingers through her hair and crouched down to the ground. She remembered this moment. How she turned the body over and screamed. She ran away, but that's all she could remember after that. Tears began to fall from her eyes and began to tug on the necklace. Her thumb ran along the pendant and along its opening. She heard the girl's loud scream and watched her run off into the forest. 'This must be my memories. They have so much detail. Oh God, I wish someone was here; Sakura, Syaoran, Hiiragizawa, anyone! This is driving me insane. I was not meant to handle this many problems, but I… I want to rememb-' The pendant opened.
The girl made her way up the wall until she reached the cliff. There was still a bit of rock where he stood before. She looked at the drawing before her, amazed that it hadn't washed away in the rain after so many years. A tear fell from her amethyst eyes as she gazed at the last thing that he gave her. She kissed her palm then placed it on the center of the drawing, "I love you my black butterfly…"
ChiChi's Note: Okay! A full memory of the prologue. That took so much copy and paste effort! Just to tell you, I rewrote this chapter three times and finally settled for this one. I find it acceptable and less uh… well let's just say describing what color the ground is in six sentences isn't the healthiest thing a writer or reader should endure. Oh and for thoses who enjoys speed reading and skipping over tiny details coughcoughKone-chancough: try to think about what Tomoyo said about her locket when Eriol gave it to her. Review!