Maybe It's Better This Way

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Here we are. Can you believe it? What a ride! From May 2005 when I first started writing to July 2006 when I first posted to now, October 2006. Thank you for being there the whole way some of you and thank you for the reviews. You have made it totally worth it and just blown me out of my tree with the number of responses. I never thought I'd get that many. Anyway, enough gushing, on with the final instalment of this tour de force!

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Chapter 30: Time Difference

Caleb strode into his daughter's office and dropped a bulky folder onto her desk. She looked up without comment, her face plainly saying 'What the hell is that?'

'De Vere project information,' Caleb told her, 'six months of negotiations and still no contract. We're flying out to New York tomorrow to try and get it settled.' Kirsten narrowed her eyes, 'Who's we?'

'Uh, me and you.'

'I thought you dealt exclusively with the De Vere stuff; not my job.'

'Change of plan. I want this thing off the ground and having the CFO there will hopefully demonstrate our commitment to this development, show that it's a priority.'

'I'm not going to New York.'

'What?'

'I don't want to.'

'Kiki, I mean, Kirsten, this is a very important deal; take a look at the information.'

'I know; De Vere hotel and leisure complex, luxury villas, golf course, marina, you name it, it's got it.'

'So you do know about it.'

'Dad, I am the CFO, I did do the costings.'

'Well as CFO you have to go, I want you there.'

'Would it kill you to say please for once?'

Caleb looked startled and Kirsten continued, 'You know, an occasional please and thank you, some sign that you notice the work I've done, that I'm doing the right thing, would mean a lot more than my paycheque, more than my last rise.'

Her father was still lost for words.

'To let me know I did the right thing being here; giving up my life in Berkeley for this, changing who I am, selling my soul, turning back to everything I fought against. Upsetting my husband, risking my marriage, alienating my son. Sometimes I wonder whether it's all worth it.'

'I never knew you felt like that,' Caleb stuttered out.

'Yeah well, welcome to the real world; people who actually have doubts and insecurities.'

'You never used to appreciate my opinion. The last time I offered it you did the opposite.'

'I was a teenager, a young person with my own mind. I wanted my own life. Now is different.'

'Well…for the record, I appreciate everything you've done. The Newport Group wouldn't be where it is today without you and to be frank, I need you there tomorrow…please?'

Kirsten hated to give in but this was a big step for her father and she felt happy. Her father had actually made her happy rather than upsetting or exhausting her. 'Thanks dad,' she mumbled, biting her lip, 'So what time are we leaving?'

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The father and daughter double act were back on the Newport Group's jet flying back to California after a successful two days on the East coast. Kirsten's charm and clear intelligence coupled with Caleb's shrewd business knowledge and prestige had finally swayed the board of directors of the De Vere corporation. The show was most certainly on the road with construction and landscaping beginning the following week. Caleb was satisfied with the deal and reclined contentedly, sipping a bourbon on the rocks. Business was good and although things were still strained, he was forging a semblance of a relationship with his daughter again. The day before they left they'd had an actual conversation, or rather Kirsten had told him how she felt without yelling at him. Or throwing things, he thought ruefully.

She was dozing in her seat, or perhaps just pretending to so as to avoid talking. She looked very young when she was sleeping Caleb mused. Not a highflying businesswoman; the youngest and best CFO the Newport Group had ever had. Not a married woman with two almost grown-up children. But more like his little Kiki. Before she'd rebelled against him, left for Berkeley and met that good-for-nothing…no, his name was Sandy. He was a good, successful man who worshipped his daughter. Plus, Kirsten loved him, had done for more than twenty years. Maybe he should try to accept him at last. God, the man had done enough for him amidst the sarcastic comments and joke-veiled insults. Accept him as a man, an excellent lawyer, a wonderful husband, the father of his grandchildren, the love of his daughter's life. Kirsten opened her eyes at this point but didn't remark on her father's scrutiny. She was still quiet, he reflected. Although the sad, drawn look that had become so disconcertingly familiar had faded, she wasn't the old salt-and-pepper Kirsten. The verve and fire was dampened and her telling eyes often stared right through you, their depths opaque; a pale sky blue.

'You alright Kik-Kirsten?' Caleb asked. He was trying to break the 'Kiki' habit but it was proving difficult. Old habits die hard, especially for an old dog like Caleb Nichol.

'Yeah.'

'Thanks for coming.'

'It's fine.'

'We did a good job today.'

'You can stop with the small talk dad.'

'I was hoping we could talk…big talk…?'

'Not interested.'

'I'm sorry Kirsten.'

'Isn't everyone.'

'You know I've meant every apology.'

'Nice to know.'

'Kirsten!' Her father snapped, immediately regretting it as she turned decisively in her seat to look out the window.

'I've forgiven you so you can stop grovelling. I've accepted that for once I can't blame something totally on you.'

'Thank you.'

'I would if I could but I can't so let's just drop the subject.' She sat back and closed her eyes again, Caleb watched her again, wanting to talk but worried about disturbing her.

'What would you have called her?' he ventured a while later. Kirsten stiffened but didn't move. 'What does it matter? She's gone.'

Caleb didn't have a reply and the cabin lapsed into tense silence again as the plane began to descend.

'Kassandra,' she said suddenly, 'Kassandra Katherine Cohen.'

'Cs or Ks?' Caleb asked tentatively.

'Two Ks and a C, for me, Sandy and mom.'

'She would have liked that.'

It was Kirsten's turn to be unable to answer.

She did not cry in front of her father.

She did not cry in front of her father.

A burning throat, damp eyes and surreptitious sniffing did not count.

Her father pretended not to notice, changing the subject. 'I thought I might come over this weekend, take my grandsons out.'

'Your grandsons?' she asked in disbelief.

'Yes, I thought it was something good I could do; recognise Ryan as a member of the family. I know it's a case of a band-aid for a bullet wound but I thought you might like it.' Caleb said hurriedly.

'I appreciate it dad.'

'I'm afraid I'm still working on Sandy.'

Kirsten smiled, she didn't know if her father would ever come to terms with Sandy being his son-in-law; he was just too much the opposite of everything Caleb had wanted. Although she hated it she knew she and Sandy could live with it; they had done for the last twenty years. It was Caleb's refusal to treat her second son with anything other than distrust and contempt that upset her most. Now it seemed he was going to swallow his pride. This had to be a first.

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Kirsten arrived home dishevelled and jetlagged but feeling happy. Perhaps things would go back to normal between her and her father, no not that, better even, hopefully. Whatever happened she wasn't going to think about it now; it was the weekend. She was tired and very glad to be home with her three boys, they were the ones who made it her home.

She was on the top step by this time, about to open the door when it did so before she touched it. There stood Sandy, grinning delightedly at his wife. Kirsten smiled back wearily. 'Oh I missed you,' she murmured, letting her travel bag and briefcase drop onto the step as Sandy pulled her towards him. She ran her hands through his hair, their kiss gaining momentum until there was a shout from the kitchen. 'Break it up there,' Seth was yelling, 'the door is open, the neighbours will start complaining. This is a gated community not a playboy mansion-ow!'

Ryan had obviously hit Seth.

Sandy broke away and reached for Kirsten's luggage. 'Continue this later?' she asked, slapping his ass cheekily as he bent over.

'Of course…if you're not too tired.'

Kirsten stuck her tongue out.

'But first, come into the kitchen.'

'You're being awfully mysterious,' she replied, slipping her hand into his.

Their sons were sat on the kitchen island, Ryan looking up expectantly, Seth whimpering and rubbing his arm melodramatically. Kirsten swooped in to hug them both before they could escape. 'Honey,' Sandy said finally, having enjoyed the sight of his sons trying to squirm away from Kirsten's kisses, 'we have something for you.' He nodded towards the table on which were two brightly wrapped gifts.

'For me?' she asked, her eyes alight with childlike excitement. Sandy nodded and she hurried across the kitchen followed by her family. 'That one's from me,' Sandy told her as she gently tore the paper off the first package, 'but it was Ryan's idea really.' Kirsten paused to smile at her son before tugging a little rose tree from the wrapping. She exclaimed at the pretty pastel shade of the petals and bent to read the label.
Rose Kassandra, seasonal flowering, enjoys dappled shade
Sandy had changed the C of Cassandra on the label to a K.
'Oh Sandy,' she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. Her husband placed a comforting hand at the small of her back and she took a deep breath, picking up the second present. Once it was unwrapped she found herself holding a small garden statue. The figure was that of a kneeling child angel. A silver plaque was fixed to the base bearing the words.
Kassandra Katherine Cohen
Always in our hearts
'Ryan bought the angel first,' Seth said, realising his mother was fighting tears again, 'and dad the rose so I had to come up with something, result; the plaque. Is it ok? I mean, I thought it might make it more of an obvious memorial but if that's not what you want…' he trailed off, unsure of her reaction.
'It's to say we've made peace, not forgotten,' Ryan said quietly.
'We know that today…' 'Would have been my due date,' Kirsten finished for her husband, her voice cracking slightly. 'Yeah. I wasn't sure whether to say anything…so, thank you for doing this. She smiled through her tears, 'I have such wonderful boys,' she declared shakily, 'the best. I love you.'
'Cohen-clan hug,' Sandy declared. They all crowded round Kirsten who realised just how much she had in relation to what she'd lost.
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'You know I never thought I'd say this, I still miss her, I'll always miss her, and the other one too, but…' Kirsten murmured that night as she lay cuddled in Sandy's arms, 'but maybe we are going to be okay.'

'Of course we are. I'm even sure we can do better than that.'

'You're such an optimist but perhaps you're right. And maybe it's better this way.'

Her husband tightened his arms around her and she sighed contentedly, 'You, me, Seth and Ryan.'

'Maybe it is,' he agreed, 'maybe it is.'

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The End

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That's it folks! Thanks for reading…please leave a review…and also let me know what I should write next. There's a list somewhere on my lj: ansy underscore pansy. Although I gotta remind you that I've just started uni so I won't be writing as much for a while! Love y'all!

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