Conquering the Captains Hussy

By: Lady Arre

Chapter Three: Haggis and other Scottish Problems

Katie Bell stared at the piece of parchment thatthe barn owl had just handed her, in surprise. What on earth was Olivers mother doing writing to her? She shook her head and reread it. She wasn't going mad and seeing things, the letter was from Mrs. Wood, asking her and the rest of the quidditch team to throw Oliver a party for St Andrews the next day. She would floo food over to Dumbledore and he would give it to the house-elves to set up. Katie shook her head. Perhaps being Scottish was a symptom of madness, all the Scottish people she knew, after all, were mental.

Including her mirror…

Katie wandered up the stairs to where Alicia was sitting on the the floor of their dorm painting her toenails light blue. Scott Macgregor, their funny Scottish mirror-man, spoke out.

"You'd better put a white cross on them toes of yours lassie? Don't you know what tomorrow is? Its St Andrews day!"

"Who's day?" Alicia asked not looking up.

"St Andrew, The patron saint of Scotland"

"Oh Sorry Scott, I knew that, just had a bit of a brain snap you know?" Alicia lied.

Katie sniggered, "well that's good because the captains mothers bullying us into throwing a party for Oliver"

"What?" Alicia looked up now, a puzzled look on her face. Just then a large brown barn owl flew in and dropped a piece of parchment just out of alicia's reach.

"There's your's" Katie said. Alicia stretched for it but couldn't reach.

"I betcha that owls Scottish too, it's mental"

"Huh?"

Katie picked up the letter, "Could you just read it to me Kates?" Alicia asked sweetly.

"Whatever…"

'Dear Alicia,

Oliver tells me that you're a chaser on his quidditch team? How wonderful for you, as you well know tomorrow is St Andrews day and Oliver and I always have a bit o a feast on Scotland's red letter day, unfortunately this year I am unable to because I'll be in London for my fathers operation. I believe it will break the lad's heart to miss out on his special feast. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to throw a party in honour of saint Andrew for him? I will prepare the food and everything and floo them to Professor Dumbledore? I really hope you won't mind?

Thankyou dear,

Mrs. Wood

PS. I hear that you and the other chasers do not much like this "Marcia" either? It would make me happy if you made sure that Oliver did not bring her. I don't like the hussy and I want to keep the two of the apart as much as possible. She'll get that boy of mine into trouble she will. Thankyou dear!'

Scott hummed the tune of "Scotland the Brave" while he waited for the girls to compose themselves. They were shocked at the post-script and their jaws were hanging down to a ridiculous level.

Oliver's mum didn't like the marsh thing either? That was good news! Katie thought and could barely keep from jumping around.

Scott broke her thoughts by saying loudly and in an even thicker Scottish accent than usual, "well at least someone has some national pride around here! Can you believe my fair lassies that your head master doesn't plan to host his own feast?"

Alicia laughed, "That's insane! She wants us to throw ickle Ollywood a party so he won't be heartbroken! The twins are gonna have a field day over this!"

Angelina entered the room then.

"Hey! Oh good you got one too, I thought I was going mad and imagining it" she said and sat down on her bed.

"Yeah," Katie said put the note on Alicia's dresser.

"Well we don't have to do much, just turn up and make sure Oliver goes, so why don't we do it?" Alicia suggested.

"And what's more the most that can happen is we'll get out of class so who's complaining!" Angelina exclaimed.

So it was settled lunchtime the next day the Weasley twins, blindfolded Oliver, ran him into at least a dozen walls and brought him to the little field at the far end of the quidditch pitch bordering the forest, and sat him down for the picnic. The house-elves had already brought all the food out for them and kept it heated.

Oliver pulled the blindfold off and growled at the twins, "I'm never letting you do that again!" he hissed at them. But it only made them laugh harder at him.

"What's going on Angelina?"

"Your mother asked us to throw you a St Andrews day feast" she explained. "Now dig in, the food won't stay hot forever you know"
Oliver grinned as he looked at the food that his mother had sent. "Haggis!"

Katie gulped, "what?"

"Come on its not really as bad as it sounds"

"Oliver! Its sheep's stomach!"

"I insist you all try some! you'll love it! I promise"

The twins were first. Although reluctant at first they went back for thirds.

Angelina was fine her grandfather was from Edinburgh so she had had it before and had no qualms about it. Alicia fought it but Oliver coaxed her into it.Harry took a bite made a face and swallowed, quietly backing away from oliver so he wouldn't have to take anymore.oliver turned to Katie Bell

Katie point blank refused him. There would be no way in the world that she would eat any part of a sheep that wasn't its chops or mutton.

"Come on Bellikins! It's great!" George said through half of his second helping which he had stuffed in his mouth.

"I dare you to" Fred said,

"I'll give you two galleons if you do alright" Oliver said, "and I'll but you that scarf that you liked"
Katie pulled a face and squirmed, "I'll be sick Oliver"
"No you won't just be brave"
Katie took a deep breath and bit some off the end of Fred's fork.

"Hey! I was gonna eat that!" he protested. Oliver waved a hand at him and told him to shut up.

Katie had swallowed and was looking a little green,

"Well?" Oliver asked.

"I'm gonna be ill" Katie said before running off behind a tree. The noise of her retching could be heard.

"Oh Merlin! I've given her food poisoning!" Oliver cried, and jumped up to help her.

"At least we got the old Oliver back for a little while." Alicia muttered.

"i hope he stays"

It wasn't to be the case though, because before Oliver and Katie had even got back from behind the tree where Katie had been self-pumping her stomach, their party was interrupted by the approach of something heinous. It was in its way even worse than getting busted for snogging in a broom cupboard by professor Snape. Perhaps even worse than being in a broom cupboard snogging professor Snape. Either way it was the marsh-thing.

"Hello everyone!" she exclaimed, "Where's Oliver?"

Fred swallowed the last bite of what was possibly his sixth helping of haggis and answered her. "Behind that tree with Bellikins"

Marcia turned purple; "he's what!" she stormed over there just as Katie was retching again. Marcia copped half of it on her shoes.

"Oliver! I knew you liked her better! Why don't you just go out with her then?"

"Marcia wait, I made her be sick I had a responsibility to look after her you know" Oliver argued.

"well you make me sick too! Just go away"

Katie stood up and wiped her mouth, "well it is our party that you crashed."

"oh shut up you boyfriend stealer!"

"I didn't steal anything"

Marcia slapped her then walked away. Oliver made to go after her but Katie retched again. Oliver pulled her hair back from her face and stroked her face. "merlin I'm sorry bell, I shouldn't have made you eat it"

But Katie was more than happy, if all it took to break Oliver and the marsh-thing up was a little vomit? Then bring on the haggis, baby!

At dinner that evening Oliver was very quiet; Angelina had noticed but was making it worse by bagging out Marcia.

"She's just a whore Oliver! You can do better! And she's not even in a quidditch team; she doesn't understand quidditch at all"

Oliver just sat there looking dejected.

Fred pulled an overly dramatic pose and squeaked: "what would your broom say!"

"You're first wife would be heart-broken" George added getting in on the fun. "But she was hot mate."

"No kidding" Fred said, drooling a little for effect.

"Cough "hussy" cough" Alicia said as politely as was possible.

Katie sighed; freeing Oliver from the marsh-thing shouldn't make her feel this guilty. "I'm sorry Oliver." she said softly. She could feel ange staring at her as if she eaten a worm.

Oliver glared at her "well so you should be, if you weren't such a hussy this never would have happened!"

"I'm sorry alright"

"Maybe sorry's not good enough bell" Oliver snapped.

Katie stood up. "Well if you remember correctly, it was your fault anyway, I wouldn't have vomited if you hadn't fed me that vile Scottish garbage, you Scots make me sick!" with that biting remark she ran out of the great hall and up to Gryffindor tower.

"What Happened, Lass?" asked Scott the second she slammed the dorm room door.

"She dumped him"

"That's great!"

"And he's blaming me for it" Katie finished.

"Why?"

"Well that party? Mrs Wood sent haggis and he made everyone try some. I spewed after eating it and Wood came and held my hair back and patted my head and all this other rot. Then Marcia turns up, see's him helping me, then tells him she knew he liked me more and dumps him, Oliver didn't even follow her and try to explain. And now he's mad at me because he made me sick and was caught helping me."

"Interesting… he didn't follow her right?"

"Yeah… hold on right their MacGregor, I don't care anymore, Wood is just a self obsessed prat"

"Which of course explains why your so worked up over this" Scott's voice trembled with laughter.

"Scott," Katie felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't hate him… he was my best mate! What am I going to do?"

Scott Macgregor hummed soothingly. "cheer up lass, he'll come to his senses"

Authors note: another chapter, updates will slow down a bit now i'll be back to school tomorrow, sorry. i'll still update from time to time though, and anyway the next breaks in nine weeks i think. school terms are messed up over here, last term was eleven weeks. anyway i love you all, because ui'm just the kind of person who does that hippie sort of "make love not war" stuff. Now Pleeeeease review and tell me what you thought!

Disclaimer: nothing is mine except in a retarded sort of way lil scotty macgregor, except he's as stubborn and as proud as half a donkey and won't admit that i own him. but i do... laughs

until next time...!

R