AN: Alright, and we're back! Sorry for the wait, I was hoping we'd see Yama-chan's Zoan form before I posted this chapter, but Break-kun decided to interfere. Oh well, (shrug) vagueness for the win. As always, Reviewer Replies!
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Mekyaku: That's what I love to hear! Bones is 7 feet 4 inches tall (223.5 cm for everybody on metric), meaning he's about a head taller than Reiju and a head shorter than Yamato, slightly over halfway between the two. She's actually 26 right now since the 28 Oda gave us is post-Timeskip. Reiju is 22, and Bones is 24.
Xanxouz: Glad you're enjoying, love the support! Again, feel free to ask any questions that spring to mind, they help me think of things I otherwise might not.
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Alright, and now on with the show!
Chapter 2
The pub was easily the largest on the island, two stories high with a wide balcony circling three sides of the main floor. The windows on the bottom floor were narrow and lined with iron bars, and the top windows, while considerably wider, were also lined with broken bottles glued to the sill with thick wooden bars on the shutters. The owner had long since given up on repairing the railings of the balcony, so there was now just an open drop to the floor ten feet below, which drunken pirates and thugs were regularly pushed or often as not thrown over. There was a considerable clear space under that ledge as a result.
The wooden floor was dirty, covered in splinters, spilled booze and blood stains. The high ceiling was shrouded in foul smelling smoke and the air filled with raucous chatter and the stench of booze. The entire place was lit by lanterns in brackets on the columns holding the place up. There had been a chandelier once upon a time, but that had come down when an enterprising pirate had attempted to swing from it, learning the hard way that it wasn't that well secured.
The waitstaff were mostly young women. None were particularly ugly, but none were particularly lovely either. This was a pirate port. Lovely young women could make easier money in other ways in a pirate port, and most found ways out, getting passage to safer ports by any means necessary rather than stick around. This hardly stopped the bar's patrons from flirting, but they never dared provoke the girls too much for fear of what stood ever vigilant at the front wall behind the bar.
The front wall was stacked high with casks of booze, and the bar in front of those casks was tended by an utterly massive man as half as broad as he was tall with arms as thick as a smaller man's torso. His eyes were nearly hidden behind his bushy eyebrows, and his mouth, ever twisted in a small frown was equally hidden behind his droopy mustache. Even the bar's rowdiest patrons, a notorious pirate crew who made a favorite stop of the port the bar was in, wouldn't cross the man they affectionately referred to as 'Big Time'. Soft spoken did not mean weak, nor did polite. They'd learned that several years previously when they saw him bodily hurl from his bar a pair of mountain bandits who looked like they had giant blood in them somewhere, both beaten to bloody pulp by the man's crate sized fists and ejected with one hand each.
When the tall man and his little lady friend walked in, Big Time's eyebrow had raised high enough that the few who were looking caught their first glimpse of his eye. She was beautiful, easily the loveliest young woman most of the bar's patrons had ever seen, and the sunny confidence she held herself and smiled with would've roused the passion of any man she wanted. None of the bar's waitresses could even hope to compete with her. Many of the bar's patrons had immediately begun thinking unsavory thoughts, and knives were quietly palmed as envious glares landed on her escort.
The first man to get a hand within arm's reach of either of them was hurled into the top of the back wall with such force that he actually stuck there for a moment before peeling off like a wet piece of tape. He fell to the floor headfirst and landed with a sickening crunch.
No more knives were palmed, no more glares landed.
Everyone in the bar returned to their conversations in slightly more hushed tones, many pale with beads of sweat running down the back of their necks as they wondered if the pair had noticed them. None wanted to risk the wrath that had so effortlessly dispatched a man who while not the biggest or even second or third biggest man in the bar, had been by no means small. Everyone made a point to look anywhere except at the tall man and his lady friend as they made their way to a lantern lit table in the back corner under the balcony. All except for one man with white hair and bad teeth who sat at the bar, he continued to shoot thoughtful looks over his shoulder in their direction.
Big Time took their order personally, and took them their drinks. The bar's atmosphere steadily returned to normal as the distraction of the tall man and young beauty was steadily drowned in booze. Within the hour, the two had all but vanished from conscious thought and it was as though they'd never been there at all.
Then two more guests walked in, and like a swift high tide, fear shot through the room anew. Once again, it was a man and a woman. Both were tall, taller than the tall man who had come in earlier, and the woman carried a massive iron club with an ease that said she could use it effortlessly. The man was shorter than his companion and carried nothing except for a casual air of confidence. The man was more frightening.
The two ordered drinks and then carried them back to the corner where the tall man and his lady friend had gotten comfortable.
A few moments later, a card game was underway as people began to hurriedly and quietly pay, slipping out the door and praying they hadn't drawn the strangers' notice.
"So, what's got a pair of monsters like you hanging around in the East Blue?" the tall man asked warily as he dealt the cards.
"Hah, I was about to ask you the same thing," the taller man replied with a smirk, "Although really, yours is… considerably more obvious than mine, even if the specifics are a bit fuzzy."
"That's not disturbing at all," the shorter woman replied, taking a sip with one hand while looking at her cards with her left, "So, are you going to answer the question?"
"You would hardly believe him even if he told you," the taller woman mused as she checked her hand while the shorter man set the deck in the center of the table.
"And why's that?" The tall man asked.
"Because you thought you knew who I was the instant I walked in," The taller man replied dryly as the shorter woman pulled a card from the deck before tossing the four of hearts next to it, a slight furrowing of her brow revealing that it hadn't been a good pull.
"What makes you think that?" she asked as he drew and then tossed the five of hearts.
"Very simple," the taller man replied as the taller woman drew and then threw back the two of hearts, "You both tensed the instant we walked in, and neither of you have relaxed yet."
"That's not saying much," the tall man replied as he pulled a card and then threw the seven of clubs into the center of the table, "Everyone left in this bar is scared stiff. Men have been slinking out the door steadily since you walked in."
"I believe I win," the shorter woman declared as she drew the Jack of spades, setting down the king and ace she'd been holding the entire time, "And besides, you came straight to us without even glancing at anyone else. I believe it's my deal."
The cards were collected and she began to shuffle as the taller man smiled thinly, "But of course, you two are the strongest people on this island, aside from us of course, and even then, you," he inclined his head to the tall man, "I would not take lightly."
"Are you trying to piss me off?" the shorter woman asked sharply as she flicked the taller man's first card right at his head.
The taller man caught it effortlessly and glanced at it before snagging the second out of the air as it whirled towards his throat, "Not at all. I am simply more confident in my partner's strength than yours." He caught his third card and glanced at it, "As for myself, I am rather difficult to hit. Not a good opponent at all for a close quarters specialist." He threw the two of hearts back and drew.
"Don't mind him," the taller woman soothed as she drew and then threw the three of clubs out, "He's got a talent for pissing people off, especially redheads he's attracted to."
"Excuse me?" the tall man asked coldly, drawing and tossing back the Jack of diamonds after a moment's consideration, only for it to be immediately snatched up by the shorter woman in exchange for the seven of clubs.
"Yes, do tell," the taller man drawled as he shot a slight glare at his partner, drawing and tossing back the eight of clubs.
"She's the same size, build and eye color as the last redhead you pissed off," she shot back with a grin before tossing the eight of diamonds, "Are you going to try to tell me you wouldn't go for her?"
"Hmph," the taller man snorted with a small smile, "You've got me there, although I think she's a little bit shorter. Just makes her cuter as far as I'm concerned. You are indeed very much my type Miss."
"Keep your eyes to yourself," the tall man all but growled as he drew before tossing the four of clubs.
"Do I sense a possessive streak?" the taller man asked with a small smirk as the shorter woman shot her partner a look.
"Focus you two," she snapped as she drew and threw out the four of spades, "You still haven't told us what you want."
The taller man chuckled, "All I want is to talk." He drew and then tossed the Ace of clubs which was immediately snatched up by his partner in favor of the six of clubs, "I have a bit of information you might appreciate."
"What kind of information?" the tall man asked warily as he drew and then tossed the three of diamonds.
"Personal," the taller man smiled thinly, "I have quite a bit of other information, but the tidbit I came to share with you is of no use to anyone but you. No charge, no tricks. Just bein' a good Samaritan."
"And how exactly would we go about verifying this information? For all we know it could be a trap," the shorter woman declared as she tossed the five of spades.
"There really is no good way, but there is also no reason for me to lie about it either," the taller man replied as he drew and tossed back the ten of diamonds.
"Don't know why you're trying to get them to trust you with that," his partner mused as she drew and then threw back the seven of spades, noting the slightly pained expression on the shorter man's face, "It didn't work last time."
"Quite frankly I don't care if they trust me," the taller man declared shortly, "It's not exactly actionable intelligence, it's just plain history. It's hardly like Dadan and Makino are going to do anything but break down in tears when they see him."
The tall man froze in the middle of lifting his next card, "What did you just say?"
"Your adoptive mother Curly Dadan and big sister Makino," Bones replied calmly, a small smile growing as he saw the other man's eyes widen in recognition, "They, your uncles and your brothers are all under the impression that you're dead. Have been for, what, ten years now? Dragon didn't know you were his son's adoptive brother when he found you, of course he'd have to actually talk to Luffy every once in a while to know about that."
Yamato glanced at Bones as the other man grew pale and looked like he was about to be sick, "He's Luffy's brother? Seriously?"
"And Ace's," Bones replied simply, "He was born the son of a noble, but the nobility of Goa Kingdom are utterly contemptible scum, so he ran away. He made friends with Ace first, then Luffy after Luffy nearly died keeping the location of his and Ace's pirate fund secret while they moved the stash. The three were inseparable until Sabo's blood father hired the pirate they had robbed to drag him back to Hightown. Sabo was only able to escape on the day a World Noble was arriving, and on his way out, he drew the Noble's eye. You can imagine how well that went from the scars and amnesia resultant of getting a freakin' bazooka shot at him," he finished dryly, not at all oblivious to the look of horror on Yamato and Koala's faces, nor the utterly sick look on Sabo.
"Memories starting to come back yet?" he asked in a chipper tone, "Judging by the expression I'd say, oh look he fainted!" His eyes cut over to Koala, "You two have lodgings around here or…?"
Koala immediately moved to pick up Sabo and gave Bones a death glare, "I don't know who you are or what you want, but if this is some kind of trick…"
"If I were a government agent, I'd have killed you the instant I walked in and dealt with him while he was losing his mind with rage," Bones replied flatly, "And nobody else with even a shred of decency would try to hurt the Revolutionary Army's cause. When he wakes up, go with him to Foosha Village on Dawn Island, specifically Party's Bar, and then up to Mt. Colubo. Let his family know he's alive. They'll be overjoyed even if they don't have any way to contact his brothers. As for those two, if everything goes the way I've seen it, Ace and Luffy should both be at the port of Nanohana in Alabasta a few weeks after Drum Kingdom comes under attack by the pirate known as Blackbeard. They'll be at the restaurant called the Spice Bean, but they'll have an encounter with a rather formidable Marine by name of Captain Smoker while they're there, so it'll be quite a hectic little time. Promises to be loads of fun for any bystanders."
"What are you, some kind of oracle?" Koala spat as she hefted Sabo over her shoulder and straightened up.
"Yes actually," Bones replied with a small smile, "You may have heard of Fishman Island's famous fortune teller Madame Shyarly? What I do is a little bit different, but what I've seen is hopefully no less valid. By the way, a little something for your peace of mind Miss Koala," he added with his smile that quickly turned into a very serious and forlorn look, "Stay away from the Conomi Islands for a while. You won't like what's going on there."
Koala froze, her eyes going wide. Then a moment later she hissed, "What the hell did Arlong do?"
"Doing," Bones corrected, "And with any luck, a solution's already on the way in the form of Sabo's little brother, but if you want to go bash in a corrupt Marine's teeth, Captain Nezumi's been taking bribes to keep Arlong's activities secret. I know your blood's probably boiling at the mere thought of it, but please, wait until after he turns Gosa upside down."
Koala's eyes went wide with horror, "EX-FUCKIN'-CUSE ME?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I WAIT?!"
Bones shrugged, "Well for one, if you do, then you'll have back up a few days after. For another, said back up is Sabo's little brother Luffy and his crew, who are going to one and all be every bit as royally pissed as you are. For a third," he locked eyes with her, "are you completely sure you could handle Arlong and his entire crew? Because even the sharpest blade is dulled when pointed at a friend, and they are so not the fishmen you knew anymore."
All the color drained out of Koala's face and her breath was ragged with rage, "If you know so much, then why aren't you doing anything about it?!"
"I am," Bones replied dryly, "I just told the best representation in the world of Fisher Tiger's dream for equality what his former subordinates have been getting up to, and with even a shred of luck sent the strongest pirate crew in the East Blue to handle them. If my luck is complete and utter shit and my predictions are wrong, which I should have confirmation of in a matter of days at most, then I'm going to deal with it myself. Trust me, if I have to get involved personally, it's gonna be a hell of a lot bloodier. I'm trying to preserve the maximum number of lives possible, not the minimum."
Koala glared at Bones for what seemed like a long time, looking quite ready to scream at him. Then she snapped, "ASS." Before turning and heading for the door with Sabo as she called over her shoulder, "If this is some kind of trick, you had better pray I never see you again!"
"When you find out I'm right, I hope your pain is mild and short lived and swiftly followed by something happy enough to make up for it!" Bones shot back.
Koala actually stopped for a second as that sank in, then she shook her head and resumed dragging Sabo out the door.
When they were gone Yamato looked at Bones, "Sooo…is it normal for people to want to kill you after talking to you?"
"Apparently knowing things one shouldn't is not generally well received," Bones replied dryly as he collected the cards and shuffled them back into the deck with a shrug, "Or maybe it's just redheads."
"Redheads you're attracted to," Yamato corrected with a teasing grin.
"Yes, perhaps even that specific," Bones replied, carefully schooling his face to keep from encouraging any further teasing about it.
Just then the door was flung open and over a dozen men swaggered in. The man leading them was the biggest by far, standing easily head and shoulders taller than the majority of his comrades. He was heavy set, carrying a large axe over his shoulder and his face was a picture of brash, brutish confidence behind his wild red mustache and beard. He and all his men looked filthy, their clothes unwashed and ragged with their hair long and unkempt. Flies followed them persistently and the sheer stench that accompanied them had Yamato's nose curling in disgust from across the room as she and Bones turned to look at the new arrivals.
"I HEAR THERE'S SOME HOT SHOT GOVERNMENT AGENT IN HERE THAT WANTS A PIECE OF 'BIG AXE' MAX!" the leader shouted, "SO WHERE IS THAT GOVERNMENT DOG?!"
Bones just sighed and started shuffling his cards, Maybe I SHOULD get rid of the suit…this is going to get old in a hurry.
Everyone left in the pub, which at this point was just the wait staff, Big Time, Yamato, Bones and the old man at the bar, just stared at him for a second. The old man at the bar had a very clear look of Are you trying to die? How stupid can you be?!
Then one of the waitresses shot a glance at the corner where Bones and Yamato were sitting. With both of them wearing clean white clothes, and Yamato's hair being mostly white as well, they were easy to spot, almost like a beacon even in the dim lamp light.
'Big Axe Max' took no notice of the old man, a savage grin spreading across his face as he spotted Bones and Yamato. He swaggered back to stand over Bones and leered, "SO, I bet that's you isn't it?!" His men stood behind him, spreading out slightly to form a wall and block off any escape as they grinned in fierce anticipation of watching their boss take out a government agent who'd sent an entire bar's worth of pirates packing.
"With a name like that, I'm sure you have a bounty," Bones mused, not even bothering to look up from his shuffling, "I'm sure you'd love to boast about it, so why don't you go ahead and get it out of your system?"
Big Axe Max laughed, "You're damn right I do!" He whipped out a wadded up bounty poster from the hem of his pants that was so stained with filth and sweat and who knew what else that it was almost illegible, "Six million beris! I bet that's got you shakin' in your boots, huh?!"
Yamato couldn't help it. Out slipped a snort of laughter and she had to quickly cover the massive grin. Big Axe Max's expression turned thunderous, "OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY DO YOU?!"
Yamato stifled her laughter and then turned a small smile up at him, "Oh no, nooo…pfffft YES." Big Axe Max suddenly doubled over as his knee erupted in white hot pain. Then he toppled over with a look of shock on his face and a massive hole in his throat. Those watching extremely closely might've seen a white blur in the instant between Yamato declaring that she found his bounty amusing and him keeling over.
"Yon Shigan Yari," Bones declared in a bored tone as he tossed something at the rest of the mountain bandits who now realized that at some point he'd stood up and was actually as big as Big Axe Max had been. Then it registered with them what he had just thrown at them and they all lurched back in horror from Big Axe Max's heart, now almost six feet from the one legged corpse that had only thirty seconds earlier been Big Axe Max.
Then suddenly Bones was gone, and Big Time, the old man at the bar, and the wait staff all did doubletakes as he suddenly appeared at the bar, leaning on it casually like he'd been there all day, "Hey have ya got any salmon? My friend likes salmon."
"Um…" Big Time floundered for a moment and then jumped slightly as the remaining bandits collapsed, their heads rolling away with their final looks of terror still etched across their faces. Big Time's eyes showed themselves for the second time that day and then he turned back to Bones, "I'm very sorry sir, there are no salmon on this island. May I interest you in some swordfish? I got a fine one this morning at the wharf!"
"I'm sure that will do quite nicely," Bones replied pleasantly, "I've always wanted to try swordfish. Ah, how much do I owe you for that?"
"Oh, um, no charge for you sir," Big Time declared nervously, "Ah, I'll get it cooking right away." He shot a glance to one of the waitstaff who immediately turned and nearly bolted for the door to the kitchen recessed in the back wall.
Bones smiled, "There's no need for that, seriously, I'm quite willing to pay, after all…" He jerked a blood stained thumb over his shoulder, "I've just made a nice little bit of money over there."
"Ah…yes," Big Time replied cautiously, "Very impressive sir. Erm, if it's not too much trouble, may I ask…um…what just happened?"
Bones just smiled and waved his concern off with a disturbingly red hand, "Oh it's no big thing, in the Grand Line there are plenty of people who can move and punch as fast and hard as a bullet, lots of them even harder. I'm just lucky enough to be one of them! Straight handed jab is the same as a harpoon when you can hit like that. Punch might as well be a miniature cannonball."
Big Time, the old man and the waitstaff who heard Bones' answer went very pale. "Ah, aha, you uh, you don't say!" Big Time laughed nervously, "That's ah…very impressive! As fast as a bullet you say?!"
"Some are faster," Bones replied, his smile unwavering, "but snatching bullets out of the air is just showing off. Total waste of time and movement you could be using to deal with the pest shooting at you. By the way have ya got anywhere I can wash this off? I don't trust those fleabags to have clean blood, and I don't really care to find out what they taste like when my lunch is ready."
Big Time directed Bones to the washroom and when he looked back at the bar, the old man had skedaddled, leaving enough money on the bar to cover his drinks and then some in his hurry to get away before Bones recognized him and decided to collect on his bounty too.
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That night, under the sliver of a moon overhead, a scrawny man stood on a big man's shoulders in a room on the bottom floor of an inn, which while rundown, shoddily built with rot creeping into too many of its too few timber supports and possessing the thinnest of white plaster walls, was still the best inn in the port. It was two stories tall with a single gated entrance allowing access to the courtyard, and from there the two story ring of rooms which could be rented from the slim, greasy proprietor of the inn who always had a shotgun under his desk and a knife that he was impressively quick with in his pocket.
The scrawny man listened intently with a makeshift megaphone pressed between his ear and the ceiling. As he listened, he silently pointed to a spot on the ceiling, moving his finger slowly as it followed the movements of their target while his crewmates watched carefully, two ready to ignite the fire under the cauldron of chemicals they'd positioned in the middle of the room, and a third at the door watching for the signal. The door was open to let the light spill out into the inn's courtyard as a signal to the others. When the lights went out, they'd know to move.
Across the street atop another building was a second set of men under a blanket, one with a rifle and the best marksmanship on the crew, the other with binoculars as he poked the top half of his head up over the roof's low parapet. In the rooms to either side of the targeted room were two more sets of men, these wearing gas masks, each with their own megaphone listening through the thin walls, weapons at the ready and a quiet caged canary each. At the corners of the building were two more groups, each carrying a ladder and numerous weapons. On the roof stood their leader, a large and fearsome man with a long and infamous history armed with a saber, multiple flintlocks in his belt and ten years of bitter hatred and spite now curdled into a murderous vendetta.
The crew was thirty two men strong counting their captain, and while all except him thought his extreme caution was ridiculously overkill, they also had to admit his ingenuity was impressive. Even if it wasn't, the one man who'd been killed on the spot for protesting the extreme caution would've convinced them since they all knew their captain was easily as strong as any ten normal men, even ten normal men his size. They didn't know what the man they were after had done to him, or what had their captain so wary that he'd set up such a thorough plan to capture him, but they'd spent the entire afternoon preparing for this attack.
The captain had given less thought to taking down entire Marine bases, but he had also made it extremely clear that the man was to be taken alive and suffer.
As the footsteps trailed over to the bed, the faint rustle of sheets could be heard by those with megaphones, who quickly gave thumbs ups to their comrades. The two upstairs raised their hands with fingers splayed as the men with them readied weapons and aimed at the walls. The four biggest men on the upper floor lifted the weapons their captain had specifically ordered for this and headed out the door quietly. The massive anchors were slowly and silently lowered to the ground, the long chains still having easily enough length to reach the outer wall and tied into nooses. If the target tried to escape through either wall or out the front balcony, they'd find themselves riddled with bullets and dogpiled immediately. If the target were still for even a moment, the chains would be employed to bind them and give the others an opening to attack.
On the bottom floor, the cauldron was lit, and odorless translucent fumes filled the room, quickly wafting up through the ceiling to the room above. The crewmen were unaffected, the boss's gas masks had been stolen especially for moments like this. None of them knew exactly what had caused their captain to become so obsessed with proper planning, but they all knew that his plans had never failed them, even in situations where they'd thought success impossible. His bounty hadn't risen in ten years, but it was still the fifth highest the East Blue had seen in that time, the fourth since his rival Kuro of a Thousand Plans had snuffed it.
At the signal as the canaries dropped from their perches, the burly men broke down the target's door, taking out a fair portion of the flimsy walls with it. Neither were expecting any resistance, but the captain had warned them there might be some. Neither were expecting the larger of the two to be crumpled like a sheet of paper by a punch with enough force to fling him back out the door and across the inn's courtyard. The other men immediately charged in, more afraid of their captain's wrath than the target's strength and confident in his plan.
The target's companion, the one the captain had said would be the crew's reward for a job well done, was on them in an instant. Bodies flew and bones cracked as the beautiful young woman took them apart, completely unaffected by the gas that had been supposed to knock her out or at least render her docile. The swords that were supposed to keep her at a distance only gave her openings when swung, openings that rock hard fists flew into like cannonballs. The numbers that were supposed to overwhelm her became shield and club as she hurled men twice her size like feather pillows.
In less than two minutes, she utterly dismantled over a dozen armed men. The steel jaws of the trap had slid closed like a well-oiled machine, but she was still kicking the teeth out of them. Every bit of the Captain's paranoia had been merited, and seeds of doubt were starting to flow through the crew's minds as they realized that they couldn't even touch her let alone hurt her, that maybe it hadn't been enough. This one girl was putting up as much of a fight unarmed as an entire shipload of Marines!
Even before she started fighting, Koala's limbs were starting to get heavy and her lungs were starting to burn. For all her training to fight underwater, the simple fact was that she'd been holding her breath for nearly ten minutes and spent the last two of those minutes fighting. It was a herculean effort, and not that one anyone who hadn't trained to fight as a fishman in all but blood would've been able to pull off. She knew she had to end it quickly, if she took even one breath of the gas she was done for and she knew it. It was frustrating though, if it weren't for the gas making her fight while holding her breath, she wouldn't have even broken a sweat. Yet here she was, actually feeling pressured by men who even with triple the numbers they'd brought would've normally been hard pressed to win even a battle of attrition against her.
Whoever masterminded this knows what they're doing, she thought angrily as she crumpled yet another armed man twice her size, anyone but me would've been toast by now. If Sabo was awake, we could've blown this taco stand the instant I felt them trying to surround us, but I can't carry him AND fight these guys off!
Then a bullet whizzed through the window behind her, perfectly on target to hit her square in the shoulder…only for her to effortlessly sway to the side and the bullet to go through the eye of one of the men advancing through the opening and whirling the anchor chains like lassos. That man dropped, but as the young woman turned her attention to the other man who was readying to throw, the captain dropped through the ceiling, forcing her to dive to the side or be crushed under him. It was then that she accidentally drew her first breath since the knock out gas had seeped through the floorboards, and in doing so, lost.
As she pushed herself upright, her vision already starting to blur and spin from the potent sedatives, the anchor chain suddenly dropped around her neck like a noose and half a dozen men at once yanked her back flat. She gasped in shock, pain and horror as she registered the Captain's leer was framed by a transparent sphere as shadowy figures poured through the windows to grab her partner and begin to chain him up. Another breath, another dose of the gas as the chains and the sight of a bubble helmet rattled her badly enough that she had to fight down a panic attack. She'd have been hard pressed to even stand up now through the vertigo as her body fought against her judgment for air, let alone fight.
The Captain slammed his boot into her stomach, driving the wind out of her and forcing her to take another gasping breath of the gas he had long since built an immunity to in case his helmet ever broke as his men surged forward to bind her in the chains they'd brought specifically for this. He leaned down to get right in her face and through the haze now clouding her vision, she could make out horrible teeth and burn scars beneath lank greasy white hair, "Do you know who I am?"
Koala's reply was to muster enough strength to spit in his face. Or at least, the front of the glass bubble he wore to protect himself from the gas. The Captain backhanded her hard enough to send her sprawling, "Just for that you'll suffer as much as your little boyfriend bitch! I hope he remembers, because you're BOTH going to pay IN FULL for the day he and his shit brothers CROSSED THE PIRATE BLUEJAM!"
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Just then several things happened so quickly they seemed to be all at once:
A massive form ripped through the outer wall, brushing it aside like a house of cards to snatch the half dozen men who'd come in through the windows seemingly all at once and fling them to the street below before jumping down after them with a massive club raised high.
The chains holding Koala went slack as the men holding them lost the feeling in everything except the sudden searing pain in their necks.
The gas was blown out along with the rest of the front wall in a massive burst like a sudden gale.
Bluejam lurched and then looked down at the fingers poking out of his chest as Bones mused, "Naaah. I don't think so."
Bones pulled his hand back and Bluejam turned as his crewmen collapsed, dead. He took a desperate, furious swing with the cutlass in his right hand and all the fury and impotence that had driven his paranoia for the last decade focused into what he knew with morbid, primal certainty would be the final strike of his life.
His reward for his persistence was Bones' fist rocketing through his glass helmet completely unscathed and colliding with his jaw in an uppercut hard enough to shear off the front half of his skull. As Bluejam collapsed, Bones turned and looped the devastating punch so that it was aimed at the sniper across the street, "TOBU-KEN TAIHO!"
As the sniper's skull all but imploded, Bones turned and stepped past Koala growling, "Oh no, you're not getting away. Tobu-ken Taiho Kantai!" Bones' fists blurred and almost as if there were no space at all between him and the fleeing Bluejam Pirates, massive holes erupted through them.
Bones nodded as they collapsed, satisfied that none had gotten away, and then turned and lifted the chain noose from around Koala's neck and gently helped her up from where the gas had robbed her of her strength, "Hey, are you alright?"
Maybe it was the pain. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the relief. Perhaps it was the gray shirt and black coat, with the haze in her brain from the gas making the blood on his face making his skin look red in the dim light, like someone else who had once saved her. It was probably the gas and exhaustion from heavy fighting after nearly ten minutes of oxygen deprivation.
Koala would never be sure. Bones would never care. All that mattered as she passed out in Bones' arms was that she was safe.
.
.
"Rrrgh, I don't like this, I'm not a doctor. Even if I know what it was and what the after effects can be, I have no idea what it'll do to somebody from here. The baselines for resistance are completely different. Injuries that would kill anyone back home are laughable here. I don't know if that applies to poison, the symptoms are mostly internal so without her being awake I can't check them without extensive diagnostic equipment that I don't know how to operate anyway, and beyond that I don't know how much of that gas she inhaled so I can't gauge how much I need to be panicking! It's worse since I can't even imagine where I'd look to get my hands on an oxygen tank, which is the only method I know of other than getting them to some fresh air to speed up purging the toxins. I mean she can probably hold her breath while fighting, she's an expert in Fishman Karate. It'd be bloody weird if she couldn't fight while holding her breath, unless she's learned to breathe water somehow…"
Koala woke up to the sound of someone rambling and immediately tried to find something to cover her eyes and stop the light blazing through her eyelids before settling for the backs of her hands, whimpering in pain as her whole head felt like Sabo had used it for practice with his pipe. There was a rustle of cloth and suddenly the light dimmed as the person who had been rambling asked quietly, "You alright?"
Koala lifted one hand and cracked an eye before immediately scrunching it back shut and recovering it, "Who…?" She was faking. She could tell she'd have no problem at all moving or even fighting if she had to, but that didn't change the fact that her head felt like shit and she had no idea who that was talking.
"Holy shit is she awake?!" Another voice asked and Koala grimaced at the sudden burst of sound.
"And judging by her expression she feels like she took a Thunder Bagua to the head. We should try not to make much noise," the first voice replied before continuing in a calm, even tone, "Koala, you're safe. Sabo's right here. You were attacked last night by a pirate crew with a grudge against Sabo."
Koala's eyes popped wide open as the memories flooded back to her. "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. We killed the pirates and got you both out of town. We're in the woods about ten miles inland where you can get some air to hopefully flush the gas out of your system."
"You're…that suit guy, from the pub," Koala declared slowly, "Why did you help us?"
Bones made a little strangled sound of outrage, before taking an audible deep breath to calm himself, "I'm your friend ain't I? Even if you don't believe me, I've nothing but friendly intentions for you two. Besides, even if I wasn't your friend, it was the right thing to do. We've got some soup cooking if you feel up to eating."
Koala shook her head, "Stomach feels tight, eating's probably a bad idea." She slowly forced one eye open and moved to sit up before deciding it was a really bad idea and laying back down. "What the hell was that gas?"
"Judging by the fuel I found in the room below yours, you're suffering from acute carbon monoxide poisoning," Bones replied, "It's a good thing you left Sabo by the open window, I don't know how resistant people are to toxic gasses here, but judging by the fact that it's still giving you a headache, I think he wouldn't have survived being in the middle of that room for long. It's hard to say how much was in there going off your reaction to it since you can probably hold your breath for an abnormally long time. I don't know how much you actually breathed in."
"Sorry we didn't jump in sooner," Yamato added, "You looked like you had it under control. You should be proud, that was awesome."
Koala grimaced, "There's nothing awesome about nearly dying. I didn't start breathing until the one in the bubble helmet came through the ceiling."
"It's a hell of a lot better than being dead," Bones replied, "And besides, you were still mopping the floor with them. If it weren't for the gas, we wouldn't even have needed to step in at all would we?"
Koala pouted slightly, "I'm still wondering why you didn't step in immediately. If I'm your friend, why didn't you?"
"We didn't realize they were gassing the room until we saw Bluejam put his helmet on," Yamato admitted after a moment, "And seriously, you were being way too awesome to interrupt before we realized that."
"Not to mention you might've mistaken us for enemies," Bones added, "You seemed kinda hostile towards us when you left the pub. I'd bow and apologize profusely, but you seem to have some sensitivity to light right now, and I'll have to lower my coat to do that."
Koala grimaced, "No, it's…I'm," she lowered her hands and opened her eyes, wincing as the light hit them but shaking it off as she sat up, "I'm alright." She took a second to appreciate the scenery now that she could see it. It was a beautiful East Blue day and they were surrounded by trees that only grew in little clumps scattered across the high rolling hills of Park Island. There was the beginnings of a forest in the valley below on the banks of a creek, but they were far enough up the hill that she could easily look down on the treetops.
There was a rustle of cloth and movement and Yamato exclaimed, "Bones!" Koala blinked in shock as she realized that Bones was indeed on his knees and bowing his head all the way to the ground.
"I am truly sorry for not helping as much as I should. We could have ended that fight in seconds, but left you to fight alone because we were too blind to see the depth of Bluejam's preparations," he declared quietly, "I hope you can forgive me."
Yamato stared for a second and then she bowed too, "Please forgive us."
Koala felt a beat of sweat roll down her temple, "Um, yo…tha…i…it's, not that big a deal, I mean, you couldn't have known…it's…um, it's alright. Um, can you please get up, this is really weird…"
Bones and Yamato sat up, Yamato immediately returning to the stirring and Bones placing his hands on his knees. Koala noticed that he had ditched the suit that made him look like a Cipher Pol agent in favor of distinctly more piratey clothes. A brownish gray tricorn, a charcoal gray button down shirt under a black overcoat worn like a captain's and dark denim pants with sturdy brown boots.
Koala sighed, "So how did you know all that about me and Sabo? You said you're not Cipher Pol, and I don't think you would've helped us if you were, especially if you know who Sabo is, but I also don't believe you're an oracle like Madame Shyarly either."
Bones smirked slightly, "As Yamato said yesterday, I doubt you'll believe me, but I'll try anyway. I'm actually from a parallel universe where this world is nothing but a storybook. Sabo's little brother Luffy is the main character, so of course I know about Sabo, and by extension, you."
Koala snorted out a little laugh, "Yeah, you're definitely not Cipher Pol, they'd never try a lie that stupid."
"Have you got a better explanation?" Bones asked flatly, "Because the only other one I could come up with is the oracle thing. I suppose I could be…" he suddenly spun to his feet to posture grandly with a massive smile, "…the World's Greatest Detective!"
Once he was certain he'd gotten a laugh out of Yamato and a chuckle out of Koala he sat back down to wave the notion off with a grin, "…but I really don't feel like taking up a mantle like that that'll have people trying to test it. I'm smart but I'm no Sherlock Holmes."
"Sooo…what are you then?" Koala asked tentatively.
"A madman," Bones replied with a crooked smile. Then he suddenly belted out the most outrageously hammy and yet somehow terrifying evil laugh Yamato and Koala had ever heard. He stopped after a moment and blinked, "I'm sorry about that, I have no idea what that was about. Wait a minute…" He thought about it for a minute and then started laughing again, "Never mind, I know exactly what just happened! That was the sound of my friends screaming in fury at one of my pranks!" He proceeded to laugh so hard he couldn't hold himself upright before rolling around in the grass laughing his ass off.
.
.
"WHEN I FIND THAT SON OF A BITCH I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" Reiju roared as she and Zoro hauled ass, rowing like their lives depended on it to pursue the rapidly shrinking airborne form of their rubber brained captain as they learned what Bones had meant in his note:
Luffy catches the bird.